My Darkness
by e v i l - m u f f i n - 8
Summary: Sasuke let out a breath; something close to a sigh. "I've achieved my goal. Itachi is dead. If Konoha wishes me dead as well then so be it."
1. The Darkness in Her Heart

**I know, it's kind of a typical 'Oh my Gosh Sasuke is back' Story. But it's my version of Sasuke returning. :) I hope you like it!**

**-EM**

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><p><em>"Love never dies a natural death…<br>Love dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.  
>Love dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.<br>Love dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishing." _

_-A. Nin_

**My Darkness: Chapter I**

**The Darkness in Her Heart**

**xx**

Six years...

Six years of searching, waiting, hoping.

And still there was nothing.

Six years really was a long time; long enough to grow up, long enough to give up on childish dreams. But she couldn't... not when most of her teenage years had been spent pining after him, praying every night that he would come home..

But he hadn't.

Not even a word in six years.

She had actually started to assume that he was dead. Maybe that would be the best for everyone.. if he just died and never came back at all. Even if it was the opposite of what she wanted, if it was better for everyone else, shouldn't she make that sacrifice?

She buried her nose in more of Tsunade's paperwork, trying to focus on those instead of the train of thought her mind had been drifting to lately. It was getting close to that time... the anniversary of Sasuke's departure.

As much as she didn't want to remember, the date was scarred into her memory, haunting her every time the days grew nearer. During that time she tended to close herself off from other people, trying to make it as casual as possible. She would lock her doors, close her windows, and drink the night away until it all seemed to blur together.

That was one of the better things she learned from her mentor. Sake helps numb the senses. Especially in times when it's needed the most.

"No. Enough." She scolded herself, trying to set her mind on the papers again. There was work to be done, and she didn't have time to be living in the past. Tsunade was in no shape to do the work and so Sakura had to pick up her mentor's slack and help.

She couldn't blame Tsunade for the state she was in right now. It was around the time that Dan was killed... and Tsunade was in her drunken state of numbness. Sakura knew enough about her own experiences that she wouldn't want to be dealing with work right now.. and that's what she and Shizune were for.

Naruto exploded into her room then, his hair dishevelled and his clothing rumpled. He'd run here. "What's wrong?" She asked, standing up and moving around the desk.

"Tsunade's calling us to the tower. It's an emergency!" He said, turning and running from the room again. Sakura furrowed her brows together, leaving the paperwork and following after him.

Tsunade rarely ever called for emergencies even if she was drunk she wouldn't make it that urgent. She trailed after Naruto, keeping her eyes on his orange clothes until they reached the Hokage tower. They burst through the doors and stood before the Hokage, waiting for the urgent message.

"What is it?" Sakura insited, waiting.

Tsunade spun around in her chair, watching the two ninjas before her with careful eyes. She knew that it would pain them to hear the news that she was about to bring, but it had to be done. She would rather tell them herself than have them find out on their own.

"It's about Sasuke." She said cautiously, waiting for an outburst, though neither of them gave one. They stood there, frozen in shock, staring at their Hokage and waiting for the rest of it.

They hadn't heard a word about Sasuke for six years... it was like he vanished right off the map, disappeared or dead. But obviously he hadn't been dead... unless that was the news Tsunade was about to give them.

"What about him?" Naruto pressed, leaning against her desk, his eyes wild and wanting the news.

"He's back."

Sakura froze, staring at her mentor with wide eyes. He was back? Why? What in the hell did he need here? Did he come with someone? Did he run all the way here? Was he under arrest? Did he come to attack?

Hundreds of questions were running through her mind. Why now? What was he trying to accomplish that brought him back here? That's the only way she could imagine him returning. He had some sort of ulterior motive... some plan that they were all going to fall for if they let him back unscathed.

"What?" Naruto stuttered, being the first of the two to speak. He always handled bad news better than Sakura, and for that she was grateful.

"He handed himself in. The councils will be gathering soon to decide his fate. For now he is being held in the hospital."

"You think a hospital is going to detain him if he wants to wreak havoc on our city?" Naruto asked, calm yet stunned.

"There are a powerful number of jutsus surrounding his room and some of our anbu are standing guard at his door; not to mention the state he was in when he arrived. He will not be leaving any time soon." Tsunade assured Naruto, rubbing a hand over her face.

But her words didn't matter to Sakura. She was still frozen in place, thinking of how close he was now. He was in the _village_. Not five minutes away from her. And it was terrifying. Part of her wanted to go and see him; the part that she had been suppressing for so long. The part that chased after him the night he left and begged him to stay. The part that cried for him, threw her feelings in the open for him and was left unconscious on a bench.

The other part, the part that she favoured wanted to avoid him completely. That part hated him for betraying his village; leaving his friends and his teachers. Leaving for revenge and power. That part wanted to go and see him only to kill him. If she saw him, she had conflicted ideas on what she would do. She would either clench her fists and fight him until he was nothing but a bloody pulp, or stare at him in shock, unable to move.

But he was really back.

Tsunade watched her apprentice curiously. Her eyes were wide, still shocked from the news, and she could tell that her mind was running a thousand miles per second. She had expected that reaction from Sakura. The girl had _loved_ him. At least that's what the word around town was. She fell in love with him, begged him to stay and he left her behind.

She couldn't begin to imagine the emotions that Sakura was feeling, though she assumed that there would be more than one, all conflicting with each other. The love, the hate, the anger, the loss, the sadness, the fury and so much more.

"I'm going to see him." Naruto said suddenly, pushing off of the desk and turning around to leave. That was the first time he saw Sakura's shell shocked expression. He rested his hand on her shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze before walking past her. There was nothing he could do to help her, not at that moment. So he would wait until later, until she was ready to talk about it.

"Naruto, wait." She whispered, causing him to stop and turn around in surprise. She turned as well, chewing on her lip. "I'm coming with you."

He rose his eyebrows in surprise, but offered her his hand any ways. She took it gratefully, her own hand shaking in his. Naruto glanced back at Tsunade, a concerned expression on his face. He wanted Tsunade to be ready for a break down if he couldn't handle the brunt of it. Yes, he was her best friend, but Sakura didn't always want to talk to him about things; especially not Sasuke.

Sakura held on to Naruto's hand desperately as they walked out of the Hokage tower, unsure of her decision. What if she lost it when she saw him.. what if, what if, what if.

Normally the hospital was her safe haven, the one place she could go and just work without being bothered. But now it felt like her doom, and the closer she got to it, the further away from herself she felt. If her spirit could un-attach from her body, that's what it felt like... like she was watching herself as she walked nearer and nearer, shaking her head.

It was all too real.

Much too real. Sasuke couldn't really be back. In a few hours she would wake up from this dream and curse herself for dreaming about him. _Him_. Of all people.

It had taken her so long after he left just to feel... okay. To remember how to smile, how to put the happiness on her face again. He had given so much of herself to him and he had given nothing in return. He left and was met with power and an immediate future. But Sakura was left broken and feeling helpless and alone.

Who did he think he was? Why did he think he could come back here so easily. She would not welcome him back with open arms. If that's what he wanted; for things to go back to how they were before... he was in for a rude awakening. Sakura would _never_ let herself feel that way again.

"_If you won't stay then take me with you! I will you help you anyway I can, and I promise everyday will be fun! If you leave… it will be the same as being completely alone to me! I love you!"_

She shook the memory from her head clenching her hand into a fist.

That bastard.

She'd been training for six years; trying to become stronger, trying to forget the weak little girl she had been. A useless member of Team 7. And now she was stronger, so much stronger. She was anbu, and that was no small feat. She led missions now. And even the mention of his name and she was reduced to nothing more than a shaky, broken mess.

Too much. It was definitely too much. She couldn't do this. She had to turn around.

But her legs kept walking.

It was a bad sign; a very bad sign. If she didn't even have control of herself now, she could only imagine herself when she finally saw him. Six years was a long time... long enough to change.. to grow up... how much had he changed? How different did he look; how mature?

They were in the hospital now, and Sakura was clinging to Naruto's hand for dear life. As if the second she let go she would tumble into a state of despair.

"It's okay." Naruto murmured. Unsure whether he was using his words to calm Sakura or himself. He had been searching for Sasuke for six years, six years and he turned up once.

A year after he'd left they found him... and he didn't want to come back. So why now? What was he doing back now?

The anbu were stationed at the end of the hall and right outside the door. They took one look at Naruto and Sakura and nodded their heads, allowing them passage. Obviously this was a no civilian zone, as it should be. If Sasuke really did decide to attack the village, then there shouldn't be any immediate casualties.

They stopped in front of the door, neither of them breathing. Six years... and he was on the other side of a door. They didn't move, didn't say anything. It was Sakura who finally reached forward, dropping his hand and pushing the door open.

Naruto watched her in surprise, wondering what was going on in her head. If she was going to be a mess, he needed to be strong. That's how their relationship worked. Naruto was her rock when she needed him to be; always there to listen and help her. But he couldn't help her if he was feeling the exact same way about his return.

He walked in first, moving down the small hall until the room opened up before him. The curtains were open, and there he was, sitting on the bed. In bad shape, but really, tangibly there.

Sakura straightened up; she would not let him see her weak like this. She would not let him reduce her to that girl again. Ever again. She stood slightly behind Naruto, using him as a sort of shield.

Sasuke sat on the bed, staring out at Konoha through the window. He hadn't even turned to look at them yet, and she was more than sure that he had heard them arrive. His chest moved up and down. He was breathing. He was alive. He was there.

Really there.

"It's really you, isn't it." Naruto said, crossing his arms over his chest. Sasuke slowly turned to look at him, his face void of emotion as he watched his former team mate. Then his eyes landed on Sakura.

She squirmed slightly, repositioning herself so she could lean back against the wall. Without it, she felt like she was going to fall over.

He had matured in more ways than one.

He was more muscled, that much she could tell, even from this distance, and probably taller, judging from how tall he seemed even sitting on a bed. His face was still similar, but there was no doubt that he had aged. Probably better looking than before, she would think. But that didn't change the fact that he was a heartless bastard.

She had changed too. She'd gotten taller, stronger, and she knew that her chest had finally filled out. A good thing; she was afraid that all of her training was sure to stunt their growth.

Sasuke never responded to Naruto, merely stared back out the window, looking none too happy. At least that was an emotion; boredness. Sort of...

"Why did you come back?" Naruto asked, moving further into the room and standing in front of the window so he couldn't be ignored.

"I got what I needed." he stated. His voice was deeper, more intense than the thirteen year old voice she recognized.

"You should've known how you would be treated when you came back."

"I did." Sakura couldn't believe how emotionless his voice sounded. If she'd had any doubt that there was no heart in his chest, she was sure of it now. There couldn't be anything in there... it must've been completely hollow.

"Why risk being killed?"

Sasuke let out a breath; something close to a sigh. "I've achieved my goal. Itachi is dead. If Konoha wishes me dead as well then so be it."

Sakura shook her head, narrowing her eyes at him. He got revenge, so now his life had no meaning? He was just going to give up and let them make their decision? Would he not put up a fight if their choice was to kill him? Would he sit there, passively and just wait until he was really dead.

The air in the room was tense and uneasy. They didn't know how to act around each other any more after so many years of separation. They weren't the united team they once were... there was no way they could get back together now; no way they could reunite the fight.

"You idiot." Sakura hissed under her breath. Sasuke and Naruto both looked at her, Naruto with his mouth hanging open slightly. Clearly he hadn't expected her to say anything. She had a long list of things that she would've liked to say to him, none of which were too pleasant, but things that he needed to hear. She scoffed and shook her head, pushing off the wall. "You never should have come back."

Naruto watched in complete shock as Sakura breezed from the room. He hadn't thought she would speak at all, and even if she had, he never would've thought something so callous would have come from her mouth.

He looked back to Sasuke, who was where she stood with emotionless eyes, as if what she said might have actually bothered him, though Naruto didn't think anything could really bother an Uchiha.

Naruto sighed, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "Sakura has changed a lot you know." He commented, looking at his former team mate from the corner of his eye.

He was staring down at his hands, his expression grim. At least grim was something.

xx

Sakura collapsed against the hospital wall once she was outside and in the fresh air. Sasuke was back. He was back. Back, back. Maybe for good back. And she could hardly bare to look at him, not to mention the way her heart was pounding against her chest.

But it wasn't love, she reminded herself. Not any more. It was anxiety; she was nervous to see what he was like now after six years, and it seemed she was disappointed. He was still incapable of showing emotion, and therefore, she concluded, incapable of letting people in, of loving. So he wasn't worth her time.

She meant what she said; he shouldn't have come back. It would've been better for everyone if he stayed missing. One day of the year mourning was enough... she didn't need it everyday. Yet saying those words to him had hurt her in an odd way. Like she wanted to hurt him, to make him feel the pain he had caused her, but saying it had caused her some pain as well.

He was the darkness in her heart, the one that refused to completely go away no matter hard hard she begged it to. Now it was back and stronger than ever, making her remember things; the way she trailed after him, the way she longed for his touch. And she wanted nothing to do with them.

Sakura was a different person now; she didn't care about him. But the fact that she had to continue reminding herself that proved the opposite, didn't it?

Something wet splashed on her legs, and she was taken aback by the fact that she might be crying. Over what? Over the return of an emotionless bastard? But then she looked up at the sky, the rain coming harder. Nature was crying for her.

She straightened up, pushing herself from the wall and marching herself into the streets, not looking back. All she wanted now was her warm bed and the idea that Sasuke was a hell of a lot further away.

Every step she took was distancing herself from him, and she liked it better than moving closer to him. It was funny how much her priorities had changed since then. She would've done anything to find him back then, and now all she wanted was for him to get out of Konoha. Leave her to that one day, and move on.

The rain was coming harder, the clouds grey and unfriendly. This weather reminded her of funerals; it always seemed to rain when people were mourning a death. Seemed symbolic enough now.

She passed by merchants who were hurriedly gathering their supplies to bring it out of the rain. And there she was, walking slowly, letting the rain soak into her body. At least then she knew this wasn't a dream.

Without that reminder, she felt like it could be. He was giving himself up to die. To _die_ because his life no longer had a purpose. He'd achieved what he wanted; Itachi was dead, so really, revenge was out of the picture and now his life was meaningless.

But that wasn't fair to anyone.

He couldn't just give up. What if the council decided not to kill him? What would he do then?

She opened the door to her apartment, stripping off her wet clothes and moving herself to stand in the hot shower. At least here she could clear her mind and warm up at the same time.

So many questions that she just wanted him to answer; even if she couldn't stand to talk to him. Naruto could ask them for her, Sasuke seemed to respond to him, happily or not.

If her questions were answered, she had some idea how she could move on. At least she would know what he was up to; at least he wouldn't be surprising her. But that was only if he survived the council meeting.

The next morning, Sakura was paged to the Hokage Tower again, her heart racing. What other news could Tsunade have? Orochimaru was outside the village, looking for his vessel to return back to him, the Leaf Village was going to be at war, Sasuke was causing problems that she needed to deal with. Hopefully it had nothing to do with Sasuke and more to do with her position as a ninja. She was anbu. Tsunade should be giving her a mission.

She needed to kill something.

Tsunade looked up from her paperwork, her eyes serious. "Sakura." She said calmly, acknowledging her Apprentice's arrival. Sakura couldn't help but notice all of the empty sake bottles in the corner of the room. Shizune would be disposing of those soon, or maybe Tsunade wanted them gone now, and that's why she'd been paged.

Her mentor put down the papers and let out a sigh, standing up and moving so she was leaning against the front of the desk, closer to her pupil and closer to help her if she received a bad reaction.

"You understand that the council will be gathering soon."

Sakura rose an eyebrow, not liking where it was going. Of course she had hoped for too much when she wished it not to have to do with Sasuke. "Yes, I do."

Tsunade paused, weighing her words as she always did whenever Sasuke's name was brought up. "I won't be attending the meeting."

"You're just going to let the elders decide? Don't you think they would appreciate your input?" Tsunade shrugged, bobbing her head.

"They may want mine, but I was thinking of sending someone in my stead."

She paused, appraising her mentor with questioning eyes and biting down on her bottom lip. "Did you summon me to tell me this?"

"I want you to go, Sakura."

No.

Sakura couldn't believe that she was going to ask her decided whether or not Sasuke lived or died. That wasn't fair in any way.

"No." She said suddenly, turning to leave.

"Sakura, I wasn't asking."

She whirled around, tears springing to her eyes. "Is this some kind of test? You want to know how I feel about him?" She yelled.

Tsunade remained in her position, waiting for her outburst to end. "Sakura."

"I _hate_ him! I hate him for what he did to me. I hate him for leaving, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!" Sakura cried out, her chest heaving with sobs. "I hate him so much." She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself.

So then why did the thought of the elders killing him bother her so much?

Tsunade pulled Sakura into her arms, giving her a hug that she knew she needed. "I think that Naruto would want some say in it. You are the voice of his classmates, Sakura. The ones that chased after him when they left. This is your chance to make things right. To set things the way you think they should be."

She shook her head, crying into the Hokage's shoulder. "I can't. I can't do it."

"Yes, you can." She whispered, releasing the anbu squad leader from her embrace. "I trained you to be strong physically, Sakura. Now I'm teaching you to do it emotionally."

Sakura took a deep breathing, wiping her tears away. A ninja in her position wasn't supposed to cry; she wasnt' supposed to take sides, she was supposed to remain emotionless when it came to political matters.

And now she found herself right in the middle of it. Deciding whether or not a missing ninja that handed himself in should live. If _Sasuke_ should live. If it was anyone other than that bastard, the decision would have been easy. He had betrayed the village, killed hundreds upon thousands of people. Yes, he should die. She couldn't let the fact that they were former team mates cloud her judgement. Shen needed to remain completely neutral during the meeting. He was just a man. He wasn't anything special to her.

She didn't even know him.

"Okay."

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><p><strong>So, since I know from experience that reviewing is tedious because you don't always know what to say and you just want to put it on alert and be done with it, I've given you some hints so it won't take much effort.<strong>

_"Oh my gosh, Sasuke is back! What is Sakura going to do? She has to decide his fate! OMIGOSHHHH!"_

**So just click on the review button, copy and paste that into the box, and Voila! You've reviewed! :)**

**-EM**


	2. Life or Death

**Back again. I would really like to thank those that reviewed my first chapter! You all made me really happy!**

**-EM**

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><p><em>"You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make.<br>__Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now?  
>Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become?<br>Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully."_

_-Anthony Robbins_

**My Darkness: Chapter II**

**Life or Death**

**xx**

She didn't think the day would come so soon. It seemed like she hadn't had any time to think about her decision, how she was going to persuade the council to either spare his life or kill him. She didn't even know which side she was on yet, which was even more frustrating.

Obviously, telling them to kill him was the easiest argument. He betrayed his village for the enemy, took up allegiance with the man who killed the Third Hokage; with the man that destroyed a great part of Konoha, leaving it nearly in ruins. He was a missing-ninja, a powerful one at that. He was able to kill his brother without killing himself in the process.

A good person to have on their side if he was spared.

Sakura walked into the room with her head held high, wanting to appear like the strong and confident person Tsunade had trained. Wanting to ensure that Tsunade had not made a terrible mistake in sending Sakura in her place. She would not let the elders gaze upon her and laugh at her inexperience in matters like this.

Most of the Clan Leaders were already present, ready to represent their respected clans. Aburame, Akimichi, Hyuuga, Inuzuka, Nara, and Yamanaka leaders all watching her speculatively as she entered and took her seat. They intimidated her; having so much experience in political meetings. She was sure that they had participated in plenty of life or death decision making.

This was _Sasuke_ though.

Shikamaru was there was well, dressed in his jounin flak jacket. He was speaking in the best interests of the Academy and the children within it. He gave her a curt nod and a half smile as she sat, not surprised in the least to see her.

Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane walked in after her, followed by a few armed protectors. Sakura watched them curiously. Why would they need to bring guards into a meeting like this? Did they think someone was going to flip out and attack them if they didn't do what they wanted?

The moment the two elders sat down, Koharu looked to the door, watching it expectantly as though they were waiting for another member to join them. Homura watched her eagerly, like he was ready for her to break at any minute and leave the room, claiming that she was unsuited to help make the decision.

But she would not.

Tsunade had asked her to do this and she would. She wouldn't let the two of them intimidate her into doing what they thought was best. She would voice her opinion, and give them the pros and cons of either killing him or keeping him alive.

If only she knew which side she supported.

Nearly five minutes later, two anbu pushed through the doors, restraining Sasuke in between them. Sakura froze, shocked. Did they normally let the criminal into the meeting room as they decided his fate? Or was that just another little test for her, to see if she would still speak out.

She wouldn't disappoint Tsunade. She couldn't.

Sasuke was forced into to kneel in the middle of the room, the tables the clan leaders were seated behind creating a sort of barrier around him. There were two chakra blocks placed on each of his ankles and wrists; apparently Konoha was more afraid of Sasuke than she thought. If her decision was to keep him alive, she was going to have a hell of a task ahead of her.

His presence must have been the reason for the two elders bringing guards with them. If Sasuke somehow managed to break free of his blocks and decide to try and kill them all, they would be protected. _Thanks for the memo_, Sakura thought bitterly.

"We have called this meeting to determine the fate of Sasuke Uchiha." Homura said, clasping his hands together and waiting expectantly for someone to speak up.

"He betrayed our village." Inoichi said after a moment, his arms crossed firmly over his chest.

"He is an unpredictable shinobi. His death would have the Hyuugas at ease." Hiashi said, his lips in a grim line as he stared at Sasuke.

"I believe that we are all mutually agreeing on this matter." Shibi Aburame muttered, turning to look at the two elders. "Sasuke Uchiha must be killed.

It was hard for Sakura to listen to them being so eager to kill him without hearing the pros and cons of each side. "You are all so concentrated on why he should die." Sakura said calmly, glancing briefly at each of their faces to see what her opinion said to them. "We need to explore both options."

Koharu narrowed her eyes at Sakura before giving a nod. "I would like everyone to come up with a reason why Sasuke Uchiha should not be sentenced to death right now." She said, her voice aged and wise.

Tsume Inuzuka spoke up first. "He is a strong fighter. Something the Leaf Village could use if it comes to war."

Hiashi was quick to demean her reason. "And if he decides to switch sides? This boy is a loose canon. We can't control his allegiances."

"Hiashi, that is enough." Koharu said calmly, silencing him. "I said a reason for him to be spared."

Hiashi wrinkled his nose in distaste. "I have no reasons for you, Elder Koharu."

Shikaku Nara was appraising Sasuke curiously, as though he was deep in thought. "Though the Uchiha did betray us for one of our main adversaries, he did so out of love for his family, if that means anything. He did come back."

"He could be here to get back inside of our ranks. He is not to be trusted!" Hiashi yelled, outraged. Sakura stared at him in surprise. She had never thought that Hiashi would be someone to so easily lose his temper, especially in front of all the clan leaders.

"Hiashi!" Choza shouted, his deep voice reverberating throughout the room. Obviously he was sick of the Hyuuga and his input. Then, in a much more political tone, "Sasuke Uchiha is a very skilled ninja as Tsume pointed out and would be useful to us. But his faults outnumber the traits that can benefit this village."

Sakura chewed on her lip. They had valid points. But her eyes were drawn to Sasuke, sitting helplessly in the middle of the room, listening as his fate was determined. And as of right now, it wasn't looking good. And unfortunately for her, it was beginning to tear at her heartstrings.

Yet she couldn't just tell them that she wanted him to live; almost everyone in the village knew that when she was a genin she had feelings for him. If she was suddenly trying to save his life they would say she was incompetent to be making such a serious decision when it came to him. And she wanted to prove them wrong.

She still didn't understand why Tsunade had giving such a heady burden to her. Why make her choose? What was she expecting from her? What if she made the wrong choice? But she couldn't dwell on that. Sakura needed to focus on her intentions in this meeting. And as of right now, that was skillfully trying to find a way to spare Sasuke's life.

She didn't care what happened to him after that; but she would not be making the decision to kill him. Not today.

"He handed himself over. Don't you think killing him would be letting him off easy?" She asked, studying their reactions. Hiashi narrowed his eyes at her, Shikaku rose a questioning brow, and the rest of them seemed to be shocked that she had spoken her opinion not once, but twice.

"Do explain." Homura said, gesturing for her to continue.

Sakura took a deep breath, sitting forward in her chair. "He accomplished what he wanted; his brother is dead. And now he returns to Konoha. Why? He knew the risk of his return. He knew that a meeting such as this would be held to determine his fate. Someone wanting to live would never have come back here."

"You're saying that he came here to be killed?" Shibi asked.

"I'm saying I think he regrets leaving and has come back for retribution."

"And his idea of retribution is being executed." Inoichi said skeptically, his arms crossed over his chest in a defensive position.

She shrugged, leaning back in her chair again. "I just think that you're doing exactly what he wants you to do. Giving him the easy way out. Why not make him pay for betraying Konoha? Why not make him try desperately to earn his way back?"

The room fell silent, as if they couldn't believe that she had come up with a valid argument to keep him alive. No one moved, they all just stared at her.

Trying to cover herself up, she added, "If it turns out that he is, in fact, untrustworthy, then we can reconvene this meeting."

Shikaku nodded his head, agreeing with her statement. It seemed that she was proving a point that hadn't occurred to any of them. She may be young and inexperienced, but she had a sharp mind, and he admired that in a shinobi. "I agree with Sakura."

At Shikaku's agreement, a few of the other clan leaders seemed to think harder about what she was saying. When before they were set on ending Sasuke's life, they were now thinking things through, having seen the other side of the argument. She had planted a seed of doubt in their minds, the only thing she needed to strengthen her argument.

Only Hiashi was glaring daggers at her, still fervent in his decision. He was too proud to even think for a moment that some lower class shinobi could have the right answer. Whether he believed what she was saying or not, he would stick with his own reasoning.

She cast her eyes to Shikamaru, who was sitting silently at the end of the table, absorbing everything that was gone and undoubtedly thinking of some crazy point of his own, but never speaking.

Homura and Koharu looked doubtful of the new mood settling amongst the group. They were all considering keeping Sasuke alive, and Sakura knew that scared them. If they weren't frightened of him already, injured and contained, they wouldn't have brought guards with them. So the idea of having him walk the streets of Konoha must have scared them half to death.

"Very well." Homura spoke at last, standing up from his chair. "Those in favour of keeping Sasuke Uchiha alive, raise your right hand." He spoke with a sinister tone in his voice, as if he was daring people to raise their hands and spare his life.

Sakura rose her hand, scared for a moment that she would be the only one. She wouldn't be made a fool of. Not today.

To Sakura's immense surprise, Shikaku, Shikamaru, Choza, Shibi and Tsume all rose their hands, nodding briefly in her direction. It was a proud moment to know that her speaking skills were improving. She had just convinced five people to spare his life when their minds had been made up before they even walked into the meeting.

With great effort, Homura nodded his head, forcing himself to speak. "Sasuke Uchiha will remain alive for the time being. He will be under a tight patrol and will be forced to help around the village in every way possible." He turned his eyes viciously on Sasuke, still kneeling in the middle of the room. "Starting from nothing." He sneered.

"This meeting has come to a close." Koharu said hesitantly. "You are all dismissed." She muttered, following closely behind Homura as they left the meeting room escorted by their guards.

Sakura felt a slight weight lift off of her shoulders. She couldn't help what happened to him from that point on, but she was glad that her hands were clean when it came to Sasuke. Had she agreed with the others and proposed that he be killed, she would have that guilt with her forever, filled with hundreds of 'what ifs.' She had spared his life, and now she wanted no other part in it.

The clan leaders filed out one by one, Hiashi leading the pack and storming out quicker than she expected. He would make sure that Sasuke was not received well by the people; at least not by the Hyuugas.

Sakura followed behind them, glancing briefly at Sasuke to try and figure out what he was thinking. Was he happy that she had spared him or angry that he wasn't able to get out the easy way? Was happiness even an emotion Sasuke was capable of or would he always be that vengeful soul?

It didn't matter to her. He didn't matter.

xx

Sakura was glad that the meeting was over and she had succeeding in sparing Sasuke's life. What he did with it now was, for the most part, up to him. He could waste it, or he could see it as a second chance. But she didn't care what he did! So long as she had no further part in it.

Tsunade had requested that she report to her office right after the meeting to update her on what happened. She felt her hands trembling as she took the stairs to the Hokage's office. What if Tsunade didn't approve of her decision? Then again... if she had been worried about the outcome, why give her such an important task? If she really cared about the result, why not make the declaration herself?

She stood before her teacher, snagging her bottom lip between her teeth and chewing mercilessly. What if, what if what if?

"What did the council decide?"

"Sasuke is going to live." She reported, angrily detecting a bit of relief in her voice.

Tsunade spun her chair around and started sorting through her papers. "That's what I thought you would do."

Sakura furrowed her brows together. "What?"

"Shikamaru said you handled yourself very well in there."

"_Shikamaru_ told you already?"

Tsunade grinned, dropping a large stack of files on her desk. "I needed some eyes in there."

"So why not just go in there yourself?" She demanded, frustrated.

"Then you would be looking to me for guidance. This was something I wanted you to do on your own."

"This was just a test, then?"

"I suppose."

Sakura slammed her fist down on her teacher's desk, sending all of the papers flying. "You made me choose whether Sasuke Uchiha, _Sasuke Uchiha_, lived or died? What kind of sick joke was that?" She yelled vigorously.

The Hokage eyed the papers that were now scattered all over the floor. "Are you going to clean that up?" She hung her head, defeated, and nodded. Tsunade stood up, breezing past her and ruffling some more papers. "Consider it part of your training, Sakura. Appreciate the other things I'm trying to teach you."

She left the room then, leaving Sakura with stacks of papers to sort.

Sakura growled furiously under her breath. It may have been just another lesson to Tsunade... but it had been the exact opposite for Sakura. It was a critical decision that she didn't think Tsunade had the right to take lightly. She knew the way Sasuke had broken her. Tsunade _knew _that and still she put her through it.

What if she had told them to let him die? Then she would have the weight of his death on her shoulders only to find out that it was just a little test to see how she handled a meeting under pressure. A life or death situation shouldn't be something you use as a little political test.

It had to be a fucking joke.

Now all Sakura wanted to do was get out of the village; get some missions thrown her way. Being anbu had a lot of responsibility, and sitting idly; re-stacking paperwork was not the ideal way to be doing her job.

There was always something to defend, always someone to protect. There were always jobs to be done. She didn't even care if it was one of the easiest missions in the book, if it got her out of Konoha, it would be the best one she'd been on.

She needed to get out of there and away from the very idea of Sasuke.

The papers took almost half of the day to reorganize and she had wished that she didn't have such a hot temper. She slumped into her teacher's chair, staring out the windows at the city.

It was going to be weird seeing Sasuke walking around; an almost free man. Koharu and Homura had made it clear that he was to be escorted. Two members of anbu at all time would probably suffice. But seeing their fear, Sakura wouldn't be completely surprised if they sent half of their troops around with him.

As much as she wanted to think that things could go back to normal now that he was back, she knew it wouldn't be true. Sure, no one would have to go on life-threatening missions to find him any more, but there would be other missions, and his return was sure to cause more than unsettling feelings amongst many people.

She was sure Naruto was happier now though. Even if he didn't drag him back with his own two hands, having him return of his own free will was reward enough for all of his hard work.

"Hey, Tsuna-"

Naruto paused, looking at the girl sitting in the Hokage's chair. "Sakura?"

She felt a weak smile force its way to her lips when she saw him. Her best friend. The only person that really knew what she had been going through for the past six years. The only one that could even fathom how she was feeling upon that bastards return.

"I just heard about the meeting." He said, standing before the desk and crossing his arms over his chest. "Why didn't you tell me?"

That was a good question... why hadn't she told him? Him of all people? He could have helped her decide, though she knew that he wouldn't want him dead. Even if a dead Sasuke would have most likely been more emotional, Naruto preferred his friends alive.

"Do you think that you can be friends with him again, Naruto?" She asked suddenly, looking away from him and back out the window.

Naruto was caught off guard, but didn't want her to avoid his question. Why hadn't she told him that she would be deciding Sasuke's fate! Wasn't that something best friends were supposed to share with eachother?

"Don't change the subject."

"It wasn't your burden. Tsunade imposed it on me." She whispered, meeting his eyes again. "Your turn."

He sighed, leaning against the edge of the desk and chewing his cheek. "I want to be. He's our team mate-"

"Was. He was our team mate. He isn't anymore." Sakura corrected.

His expression softened and he shrugged. "It's Sasuke. Kami knows he doesn't have many people. He doesn't have anyone..." Naruto trailed off, remembering how that had felt. To be completely alone, to feel like there was no one you could talk to. Team 7 had changed that for him, and so he needed to help his team mate and get him back on track.

So he was away for a bit... er... six years. It was nothing a little ramen and time couldn't fix.

"I know how you feel about him now. But that doesn't mean I'm going to leave him alone." He added.

Sakura hated it when Naruto went into his serious modes. She hated it even more when he was right. Just because she didn't want anything else to do with him didn't mean that Naruto couldn't either. Whether Sasuke wanted to believe it or not, he and Naruto were more similar than they let on.

She let Naruto walk her home, happy just to be in his presence. He was always so happy, and sometimes she wished that his joy could rub off on her. Then her smiles wouldn't be forced, then her tears would be from laughing too hard.

The more she wanted to go to sleep, the more her mind buzzed with annoyances. One annoyance really. One annoyance spread into a million problems. She was going to see him around Konoha, even if she tried her best not to. She could avoid him all she wanted but she was bound to run into him and she knew she wouldn't be able to say anything to him.

What could she say?

She didn't even want to think about seeing him, never mind thinking of something to say. If she asked him a question, he would deflect it with one of his signature 'Hns.' and then leave her angrier than she was to begin with. No. If he wanted to be cold and emotionless to her, then she could do it too.

But this was only in the situation that she ran into him. Which, hopefully, wouldn't happen. She would have to thrust herself into her work life. Go out on missions, barricade herself in the hospital. He would be too busy trying to earn his way back into the shinobi ranks to get near her. Which was exactly what she wanted.

Him as far away as possible.

Her guess was that he would have a lot of community work to do. A lot, a lot. The elders wouldn't let him get off unscathed. There would be work, and plenty of it. The poor genins wouldn't have missions for weeks; all of it would be piled on Sasuke.

Sakura groaned, realizing that she was now wishing ill will on him.

She needed sleep and a clear mind. Or maybe some sake.

Neither seemed fathomable, and she was out of sake after Tsunade paid her a visit not too long ago. So she remained in her bed, staring at the ceiling, forced to listen to the thoughts as they floated through her mind. Sasuke this, Sasuke that; powerless to get rid of them. If there were people in the world that could erase her memory, she would have paid them a great deal.

If they could just go away.

If he would just go away.

* * *

><p><strong>Review, review!<strong>

_"Woah, he gets to live! Zomg what now?"_

**^For those with the inability to write one! Copy and paste!**

**MUCH LOVE**

**-EM**


	3. Still Just as Weak

**Again, thank you reviewers! I appreciate your input!**

**-EM**

* * *

><p><em>"He gave her nothing, and took it with him when he left."<em>

_-Anonymous_

**My Darkness: Chapter III**

**Still Just as Weak**

**xx**

Sakura found the streets of Konoha haunting now. She imagined that around every turn Sasuke would be walking with his guards, ready to intercept her. So she changed the route she took to work. Instead of using the roads, she jumped on the rooftops, knowing that Sasuke would be forced onto ground level in fear of him trying to run away.

She was pissed off.

Even if she didn't want to, she was changing her daily routines for him.

But she couldn't help it. If she did see him again... she wouldn't be able to stop herself. From beating him to a pulp, screaming at him or running into his arms she wasn't sure. But she knew it would be something she would come to regret later; changing little things like her route to work could save her from embarrassment.

It had been almost two weeks since Sasuke's return, and one week since the dreaded meeting. Thankfully, Tsunade had been keeping her busy and out of Konoha for the most part, though the days when she worked in the hospital made her uneasy. He could walk through the doors any time he needed for a check up.

When she and Naruto had gone to visit him in the hospital, he had been in pretty rough shape; cut up pretty bad and bruised. Which made her wonder what had happened to him right before he came back. And also made her wonder if the medics had left him in that state to keep him, for the most part, immobile. Though there was a voice in her mind telling her that Sasuke Uchiha couldn't be restrained. If he had something to do; he would do it.

Since the visit, she had sworn she had seen him leaving the hospital numerous times, though her mind could very well have been playing tricks on her. He'd been everywhere in the corner of her eyes lately, lurking around. The very idea of him walking in when she was at work sent an uncomfortable chill down her spine.

She took a few deep breaths as she stood on the roof of the hospital, hoping and praying that today wasn't one of his check ups.

The women watched her every time she came through the doors, always whispering and gossiping; Sakura had half a mind to yell at them and set the rumours straight. But she wasn't even sure what they were talking about; when she dared to get closer for some eavesdropping they scattered, almost afraid of her presence. She did see they way they looked at her though, filled with pity and sympathy.

Which she wanted none of.

They didn't deserve to be treating her that way when they had no idea how she was feeling! You couldn't just take one look at someone and decide their emotions or how they were responding to a certain situation.

"If you want to know something just ask!" She yelled in the middle of the lobby, clamping her mouth shut immediately after. That had been intended as a thought; something for her to fume over. But at least now, instead of pity, the ladies were looking at her like she was a psycho.

She could picture the new rumours already. 'Sasuke's return has driven Sakura Haruno mad!'

Fuck them.

Sakura let out a sigh and ducked out of the room, enclosing herself in one of the maintenance closets. At least in there she could think without hearing all of the nurse's petty chatter.

She had been forced into hiding. Because of him. Indirectly, all of her troubles lately were because of him. He was affecting every part of her life without even knowing it! Unless that had been his plan all along.

He had to have some kind of plan... there was no way he just came back because he missed the scenery. He wasn't someone who cared about stupid things like that. So then why? Why the hell was he invading all of their lives?

Why the hell was she letting him?

Why had he suddenly dropped allegiance with Orochimaru? Yes, his brother was dead, but it didn't seem smart of him to suddenly make an enemy out of a very powerful sannin. Sasuke was smarter than that. Unless Orochimaru had sent him here to weasel back into their ranks, just as the extremely sceptical Hiashi has suggested. If that was the case and she had spared him...

Maybe it wasn't the best idea.

She had vowed to kill him once, more of an internal declaration than one she would really take action on. She promised herself that if she ever saw him in battle, she would kill him or die trying. He had become a danger to her village, and it was her duty to protect it. Obviously she didn't stay true to the promises she made to herself... or maybe it was simply because she wouldn't have been able to do it. Even if she wanted to; that idiotic genin was always in her mind, reminding her that she had loved him once.

She hadn't loved him. She hadn't even known him. She loved his looks and the idea of making Ino and the rest of his admirers jealous but she hadn't loved anything else about him. What was there to love in the first place? He was a cold, emotionless ass hole and as far as she could tell nothing had changed in six years.

The closet's previous darkness was interrupted as the door opened, revealing Naruto, his arms crossed over his chest. Sakura smiled sheepishly, trying to find some way to explain herself.

"Out. Now." He muttered, narrowing his eyes at her. She sighed, pushing herself to a standing position and moving into the hall, following her best friend as he moved into one of the vacant rooms. "What are you doing?"

"I-"

"You're letting him ruin everything. _Letting _him." His glare intensified. "You're stronger than that."

"I know!"

"Then why did I just find you in a closet?" He accused.

Sakura hung her head and shrugged. There was no use lying to Naruto. He always knew whether or not she was telling the truth. She knew that she was at a low point. But it had happened before and she would get out of it. She just needed a little bit of time to adjust to the whole thing.

He pulled her into his arms and sighed. "People are going to talk." he said suddenly, as if he had known all along why she had hidden herself. "It's just the way we're built." Naruto smiled, taking a step away from her. "It will pass."

But could she take it until it did?

She nodded, forcing a smile to her lips. "Okay."

xx

_"I love you with all my heart!"_

Sasuke snapped his eyes open, glaring at the wall. Sleep would not find him; instead he was being haunted with memories that he didn't want. There were times when he had regretted leaving Konoha, and knew that earning his way back into respectability was going to take some work.

However he couldn't decide if it was what he wanted. After so many years of having a goal, he had found himself a little bit lost, and so returned to the place where it all started. There were doubts weaved into his idea of returning, but he was sure of his intentions.

He needed to be trusted in Konoha.

He was forced to listen to the clan leaders deliberate whether he should live or die when he should have been holding a seat there himself. He was the last member of the Uchiha clan, and that had motivated him to leave Konoha; to gain power and avenge the death of his family. Understandable that he was marked as a missing ninja - there had been countless attempts to retrieve him, some that never made it close. But being allowed to roam free for the most part didn't seem like a suitable punishment for what he had done. Betrayed his village and people who claimed to be his friends for revenge.

The room he was in seemed too big; too empty. The elders, behind the council's back, had ordered him to be kept in his home for the next two weeks, only being let out for a visit to the hospital where the Hokage herself would inspect his injuries.

The injuries he had sustained from his battle with Itachi hadn't fully healed; he hadn't really wanted them to. After what Madara had told him, he wanted to remember the pain. Like part of his brother, the one that had dedicated his life to saving him, was still with him. The only thing other than memories he really had.

And as the pain healed, his memories seemed to fade.

It was probably for the best. He didn't need the memories to make his heart wrench every time he thought of his brother. The brother he had spent most of his life trying to kill. The brother that he had thought to be a murderer, was actually someone who sought for peace.

_"For the sake of Konoha's peace. And above all, for your sake, Sasuke Uchiha, he wished to die as a criminal... a traitor. Honor... as compensation for dishonor. Hatred in exchange for love. And still, Itachi Uchiha died with a smile on his face. He entrusted the Uchiha name to you, his brother, while at the same time deceiving you forever."_

It took him a long time to really absorb everything Madara had told him. It was very hard to believe that Itachi had been doing everything in the best interest of Konoha. The brother that he hated; despised for most of his life was a completely different person. He misled him for eleven years. Eleven years.

He'd abandoned everything to seek power and avenge his clan. Now that he had achieved his goal, he felt empty and alone. However, there were still some people who needed to be dealt with for him to feel completely at peace.

_"I love you with all my heart!"_

He cursed her voice as it echoed through his head. He didn't want any distractions. He would prefer complete quiet and solitude than having her voice yelling at him every time he closed his eyes. To see her face the day she left, and then see it again when they visited him in the hospital. She had changed so much since their last encounter.

Sasuke was almost sure that she hated him now, which was probably for the best. Hatred was a good fuel, it would motivate her to train; to become stronger. Hatred and revenge. She would want revenge on him, wouldn't she? To hurt him as he had hurt her. He had his reasons for everything he did. He wouldn't say they were right, but they were the reasons he stuck by.

Naruto, at the very least, was making an effort. It was just the way he was though, couldn't leave someone alone. Even if Sasuke wished him away, he knew he would be back the next day, inviting him for ramen or to take a walk. Sasuke was indifferent to the idea of friendship now. He had given up on that six years ago and hadn't believed in it since. There were no friends. There were people who wanted something from you and needed to get close to you to do so.

However, despite Naruto's efforts, he could tell that he was holding back; that he wasn't the same person he was six years ago. Then again, none of them were. He had missed a lot in his previous team's lives. Things that had changed them and shaped them for better and for worse. But Naruto, the usually happy go lucky Naruto seemed distant around him, like he was only taking him for ramen under orders, or because he had made a promise to this person on this day at this time and he always stuck to his promises.

Or it was because of Sakura. Because her resentment was so intense that it was starting to rub off on Naruto.

But if she hated him so much, why not propose he be killed at the meeting? Why defend him? Then again, women always did mysterious things that usually had no motivation. Most of them were impulsive and hormonal and he really wanted nothing to do with them. However, Sakura wouldn't get out of his head.

_"You never should have come back."_

Her voice, at least.

The voice that made him regret everything that he'd ever done to wrong her. The one that made him regret leaving and not taking her with him. The one that made him want turn himself off so he wouldn't be able to hear it any longer. He didn't want to feel that way, and yet her voice wouldn't go away. It was agonizing him.

There were a lot of things he didn't want to remember, and that night; her voice and expression on that night was one of them. She had no idea what he was going to have to do. The things he would have to endure. Maybe she knew now, but she didn't then. She wasn't ready to come with him, even if it's what she wanted most.

Maybe leaving her on the bench was a little harsh. But it was a step to creating his barrier. The one that made him the emotionless jerk that he was so often called back then. Back then had been nothing, if only those girls could see him now.

It's not that he didn't have emotions, hell, he knew he did. He just didn't portray them to the world. It made him weak if people could read him so easily. The wall was necessary. He didn't need anyone to get beneath it; he didn't trust anyone enough.

A lesson he had learned throughout his life: the only person you can trust is yourself.

And so he had. He did everything himself.

Now, to have to earn the trust of people... it was a new experience to say the least. There were shinobi in the Sound that had to attempt to earn _his_ trust but it had never been the other way around. It would be... interesting.

Sleep was the only thing to do right now. And it was the only thing he found slipping away from him.

xx

Naruto forcing her out of the hospital and taking her for ramen with Shikamaru and Chouji distracted her for a little while. She completely forgot about Sasuke and for an hour felt almost normal. Like she wasn't tearing herself up over him prior to the meal. Like she wasn't feeling as though she would break down and cry for him.

She watched her best friend and Chouji as they shovelled the ramen into their mouths like they hadn't eaten in weeks. Letting out a soft chuckle, she exchanged a knowing look with Shikamaru and turned to her own bowl, picking up a scoop with her chopsticks.

"You know, we haven't done this in a long time." Naruto mumbled though a full mouth, slurping the remainder of noodles before pushing his bowl away and eyeing her nearly full one.

"The two of you get expensive." Shikamaru muttered, cracking a smile as Chouji looked up angrily from his bowl. His friend, in response, heatedly yelled something that came out unintelligible around his food. "And the conversation isn't great either."

The Akimichi stood up suddenly, nostrils flared as he glared at Shikamaru. "Take that back!"

Sakura felt herself laugh, really laugh as she watched her friends. Why couldn't she be happy like them all of the time? Why did Sasuke have to overthrow her thoughts every time something reminded her of him? For one day, she just wanted to be someone else. Someone that didn't know Sasuke and was indifferent to his return.

She could be that person. She just had to stop letting herself sink into a ridiculous state every time his name was mentioned, or any time she could possibly run into him. She couldn't let him think that he'd won. She could act indifferent as well. It would take a little practice, but it could happen.

It would happen.

_"He gave me this gift, and he made me understand what I am. I'm an avenger. To follow my path I must have power at any price, even if it means being consumed by evil." He turned to look at her, the curse seal spreading over half of his body. "Sakura, tell me, which one of these people did this to you?"_

Sakura felt her stomach clench and she forced a hand to her mouth to prevent herself from vomiting. That memory... Sasuke...

"Sakura, are you okay?" Naruto asked, Shikamaru and Chouji both watching her with unmasked concern.

Why did it feel so real? The way he had been protecting her... Sakura shook her head and pressed her hand harder against her mouth as her stomach lurched again. What was so different about this memory? Why did she feel so sick?

Then she realized why. That was the first time any of them had seen a glimpse of his darkness. The first time she realized how cruel he could be; and yet she hadn't stopped loving him then. Despite how terrified she had been, she had ran to his side to stop him. And he did stop. That moment gave her a hint of hope that he could love her back.

But why was she feeling so nauseous?

That was also the moment when he realized what power he had. The moment when he realized that Orochimaru could give him power that Konoha couldn't. The moment when the idea of leaving to join him was planted in his head.

"Naruto." Sakura choked out, tears streaming down her face. "Take me home."

With wide and confused eyes, Naruto picked her up in his arms, nodding at the other two shinobi as he jumped away. She had been so happy, and then all of a sudden, like the flick of a switch, she was crying. He was going to have to adapt to her mood swings while she was transitioning to his return. Of course he knew that was what it was about, but Sakura was going to need to talk to him about it a little bit more if he had any hope of understanding the way she was feeling upon his return.

He couldn't guess everything.

When he arrived at her apartment, Naruto set her down, watching her carefully as she stumbled inside. It was like she was in a trance, putting one foot in front of the other because she knew it would bring her somewhere. Robotically, forced movements.

"Sakura, talk to me." He said, closing the door behind him. "What happened?"

Sakura couldn't do anything other than curse herself for sinking so low yet again. Why were those things affecting her? When she was trying so hard to block them out it seemed they pushed back with more force. It was killing her.

"I'm still just as weak as I was when he left Naruto." She whispered, sliding down to the floor. "He's getting to me without even lifting a finger."

Naruto sighed and crouched down in front of her, his blue eyes firm. "Sakura, you have no idea how much you've changed. We were all shocked when he came back, but it's understandable that it hit you the hardest." He pulled her to her feet, not wanting to see his best friend wallowing in sadness. "You just have to understand that this Sasuke isn't the same one that you were in love with, okay?"

He squeezed her hand and smiled. The smile that could make almost anyone that saw it grin in spite of themselves. "He's still just as much of an ass, though." Sakura let out a little laugh, reaching up to wipe away her tears.

Naruto was right. This Sasuke wasn't the same one that she'd been in love with, even if on some level she wished it was. The same level that wished he could just morph back into the life that they had six years ago. Hopeless thinking. But this Sasuke was completely different. He had different morales, he was much more dangerous, much... scarier.

She didn't love the Sasuke that scared the villagers into their homes. She had loved the one that protected his team mates with his life; the one that protected those close to him.

This imposter was nothing more than the empty shell of the boy she knew.

He would walk around, and maybe speak to people but he would be a ghost to her. She would focus on her real friends. Indifference; that was key. Create the emotionless façade that he seemed so good at use it against him. Put up the wall that shattered when he returned.

That was something that had pissed her off. Six years of not caring whether or not his name was mentioned because she had repaired the heart that he had broken when he left. But upon the news of his reappearance, the wall shattered. And every time someone mentioned his name she felt on the verge of tears. Maybe it was because she was silently acknowledging that it wasn't the same person, and she just needed Naruto to make that clear for her.

But she had shed enough tears over him.

It had to stop.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh hai derr. <strong>

**So, this chapter was pree damn boring and pretty damn short, though you did get to see what Sasuke was kind of thinking of the whole situation. Indifferent, for the most part. Apparently I like that word in this chapter. **

_I really enjoyed your snippet of Sasuke. And Naruto is such a good friend! :D_

**Again, just a little inspiration to ignite your review!**

**-EM**


	4. Strangers

**Meowmix meowmix so delicious!**

**Maybe, meowmix is like.. pizza for cats.**

**Anywho, thanks for the review/favourites/alerts readers! Nice to know you're appreciating my story! By the way, I wish I could let you all know how excited I get when I get reviews! Like a little kid in a candy shop but ten times better because... well I don't know why. But thank you for your awesome reviews!**

**P.S You evil little non-reviewing but favouriting fiends. I still love you. But I even put a little filler for a lack of imagination for a review :D AT LEAST USE THAT.**

**-EM**

* * *

><p><em>"This time I won't try to reach you.<br>You're already too far gone.  
>Slipped past and I didn't notice,<br>Did we ever sing the same song?"_

_-Brightwood_

**My Darkness: Chapter IV**

**Strangers**

**xx**

Upon Naruto's request, Sakura was kept out of the village quite a bit, delving into her anbu life instead of sulking around her apartment. It was good for her, Naruto reasoned with himself. She had to get away from Konoha and keep her mind elsewhere.

But Tsunade had other plans entirely.

"She needs to face him, Naruto. If we want her to return to the Sakura we love, then she needs to get over this petty fear." She said, crossing her arms over her chest as Naruto narrowed his eyes at her.

"_Petty_ fear? She was in love with him and he betrayed her! Don't you care about how Sakura would feel if you thrust her into a situation with him?" He almost yelled, resisting the urge to slam his hand down on her paper-ridden desk.

"Watch what you say." She hissed. "Sakura has been my apprentice for years and I care about her just as much as you do. Don't you dare suggest otherwise."

"Then you know what will happen to her if you force her to try and speed up the healing process. She won't be able to handle it!"

"Sakura is a strong kunoichi, Naruto. She is an amazing fighter and a skilled medic. But what good is she on the battlefield if a single name can reduce her to tears, hm?"

Naruto backed off slightly, realizing that she had a small point. But Sakura's well being was more important to him than her fighting skills. "I'm not agreeing to your methods, Hokage." He said, using her formal name as a small rebellion. "Sakura needs time."

"I need her in top shape. She's not just a regular kunoichi, Naruto, she's Anbu. Her emotions cannot get in the way." She picked up her glasses and moved a small stack of paper in front of her. "Consider it a lesson."

He bit back a snide remark he wanted to make. If this was meant to be a lesson then he didn't approve of the Hokage's way of teaching. She shouldn't be forcing Sakura to deal with something that had caused her so much pain. Naruto still hadn't completely recovered from the years of being alone, with no one there for him. And he and Sakura were different. He knew that her healing time would be much more extensive, and not something to be rushed.

Instead of making any comment, he breezed out of the room, needing to blow of some steam.

There was no reasoning with that woman when she had made up her mind, much like Sakura; a trait she had unfortunately inherited from her mentor. It was charming at times, when he didn't want her to do something, but the moments when it was used against him he wished that she had never trained under the Hokage.

But it was a part of her, and a part that he took with the rest of the goodness she had.

xx

Sakura was glad, for some reason, to finally be back in Konoha. At least for the one day break she had before her next mission. Exhausted as she was, one night's rest was all she needed to be back in the game.

It had been a long mission, only an escort, but lengthy nonetheless. The man refused to be carried by Kiba, and so they had to walk beside him at his slow pace all the way to Suna. A standard trip that would have taken less than three days took them almost a week, just to transport some old geezer with his veggies.

Apparently, _apparently_, that was a mission suitable for two Anbu. Two Anbu _Captains _were escorting a farmer. Tsunade had a twisted sense of humour some times. Sakura supposed that she was giving her easy missions just to get back into the feel of things upon Sasuke's return. Sure, it had been a little traumatic for her, but that hadn't affected her ability in battle at all. If anything, it made her more pissed off that he thought he could show his face back in Konoha and try to wiggle back into society.

Oh no.

She was almost happy that Hiashi Hyuuga had been so angry with him living; at least she could hang out with Neji and Hinata and know that there would be no chance of running into him. Even if they did, Neji would have his cousin out of there in seconds, and Sakura would follow.

Therefore, no run ins with that bastard.

"So the mission was successful?" Tsunade asked, her eyes never leaving the endless paperwork that stacked up on her deck.

Kiba ground his teeth together, agitated by being sent on such a lowly mission. "Sakura and I are Anbu, Tsunade. Was there any question that this mission would go wrong?"

She looked up briefly, her eyes landing on Sakura before shrugging and averting her eyes back to her paper.

Sakura's fists were clenched tightly at her sides, almost ready to start yelling at her mentor again. She sent Kiba with her because she actually thought that she would fail this mission on her own. She was losing her faith in her apprentice, it seemed. Before Sasuke's return, she trusted Sakura with some of the most important tasks of a mission, and now she had changed to sending her on medial genin missions.

"You may leave." Tsunade said, waving them away.

With a deep, calming breath, Sakura turned to the door, leaving the room more than a little bit angry. Tsunade was supposed to believe in her. Not feel like she was failing. Even if she was failing, her mentor should be pushing her harder than ever to get back on the right track.

"You okay?" Kiba asked, furrowing his brows together as she slammed her fist against the wall.

Blinking away the anger, she forced a smile to her lips and nodded. "Of course!" Though she knew that he probably wouldn't buy it. He wasn't stupid.

Despite his sceptical eyes, Kiba left her alone, sensing that she would rather be alone.

And she was thankful that he had a keen sense for people's emotions. Because solitude was exactly what she wanted at that moment. To be alone and fume to herself how so many things seemed to be going wrong. Yet she knew that it wouldn't do herself any good. She needed to train; training would keep her mind focused and let her take out her rage on something other than the objects around her.

So that was where she headed once she had regained her head. She put all of her effort into training, relocating herself to the forest so she wouldn't completely destroy the grounds. Time seemed to speed up when she was focused on something, and before she knew it the sun was setting beneath the mountains, the moon rising in its place.

But she wouldn't stop; because she knew the second she did unwanted thoughts would rush to the surface and she would be stupidly upset again.

She trained until she felt her chakra depleting too low to continue. And even then she merely stopped with the heavy stuff and started throwing her kunai around, hitting the makeshift targets she had created around the area.

It was then that she felt a strange chakra coming towards the forest. She paused her breathing coming out in ragged puffs as she tried to figure out who the mysterious chakra belonged to. It wasn't someone from Konoha, of that much she was certain. So then who?

She heard footsteps before she saw who it actually was, and when she did, her heart sunk in her chest and she froze, her eyes trained on his face as he stood calmly at the edge of the small clearing. The wind blew the leaves up around them and thrashed their hair, creating an almost surreal scene. It was the first time she had seen him knowing that he could see her as well. And it made her uneasy.

Her hands were clenched at her sides, unsure of how to proceed. She had made a promise to herself to pretend like she wasn't hurting over his return, so jumping away and running cowardly from the situation would only prove herself wrong. She couldn't force herself to talk to him though; that would be going too far. She didn't even care why he had come out here, she just found herself needing to get away from him.

Sakura took a deep breath and walked forward, focusing on each step she took.

Sasuke remained still in his position, watching her with blank eyes as she sauntered towards him. For a moment, he thought she might stop and hug him, or say hello because that was the girl he remembered. The one that tagged along after him everywhere, the one that was obsessed with his well-being and what he thought of her.

How wrong he was.

She brushed past him without a word, refusing to even meet his eyes. It struck a chord within him; willingly or not at the idea of her despising him. It was what he'd expected, what he'd hoped for but seeing it in its raw form was different. She had changed more than he knew and he felt somewhat responsible for the malignant hatred that had been brewing inside of her. He was the ultimate cause, or at least the final straw of its origins.

"Sakura." he said before he could stop himself.

She froze again, paralysed by the sound of her name on his lips though she couldn't stay to hear what he had to say. She knew that if he apologized, there was a sliver of a possibility that she would forgive him and run into his arms. Sakura nearly scoffed at the thought; Sasuke Uchiha didn't apologize to anyone. Her pause didn't last for long before she forced her feet to start moving again, needing to get herself safely away from him. The quicker the better.

As she walked away, he felt a little bit confused. He knew someone had been training, but never in a million years had he thought that such a strong chakra had come from Sakura. So why had he gone there?

He turned to watch her retreating back, honestly surprised at how much she had grown in six years. Some part of him had expected her to remain the helpless girl she was when they were Genin. But he was wrong again. There would be no guessing any more.

He had to _know._

xx

She was proud of her display of emotionless during their first real encounter. She had stuck true to what she said she would do, and it was progress to say the least.

The thing that bothered her the most was how he had found himself there, and how he had travelled there without his guard. Had he killed them? Had he injured them enough that they wouldn't follow him and couldn't call for help?

No, Sasuke wouldn't do something like that if he was trying to earn back his clan's reputation in the village; his own reputation. So then what happened to them?

She wanted so badly to go and investigate the house he was living in, to see for her own eyes that his guards were unharmed but she acted against it. If someone were to see her... especially after she had made the decision at the meeting... people would question her judgement. Why had Tsunade let her get mixed up in politics in the first place? Sakura had no intention of becoming Hokage; that had always been Naruto's dream and not hers. So why put her under such scrutiny from the elders and clan leaders? Surely she had some sort of reasoning.

Usually Sakura would think of it as something Tsunade would want her to learn, but with the way the Hokage had been acting lately she just wasn't sure what it meant. A test, or some cruel sick joke that was being played.

But that aside... Sasuke was still bothering her regardless of what she wanted. Why had he gone there? Of all the places in Konoha- no, it wasn't even in Konoha. Was he trying to escape then? No, he wouldn't do that yet. He must have known it was her then. There was no way he would have approached a random person in the forest training. It was just stupid and out of character.

Then again she didn't really know what he was like anymore. Maybe he was reckless and idiotic now. Who knew? They were nothing but strangers now. He was nothing but a stranger.

She knew that wasn't completely true. It was _Sasuke._ There was no way she could completely ignore him forever. Not when there was so much history with him and Naruto. Not when she had spent so long pining after him. No matter what she wanted there was no way to completely erase him from her life. It would be like rewriting her entire Genin years. It was impossible.

It was her fault for letting herself get so attached to him back then. If she hadn't felt so strongly, she never would have let him get so woven into her memories. If someone could have predicted what he was going to do... she would have...

But there was no way anyone could have known Sasuke would betray the village. Everyone knew he was after his brother, but they assumed he would remain in Konoha until he felt he was strong enough. There was no way she could have known. But she'd found herself piling the blame on herself. If she had tried harder to stop him that night. If she hadn't been selfish enough to want to go alone and be the one person that brought him back. She should have brought someone with her that night; someone to make him stay when her confessions bounced off of him like empty words.

She'd been a stupid girl back then and she regretted every minute of it.

However, regret didn't get anyone very far in the long run because it would never change. If you regretted spilling a glass of milk, regretting it further into the future won't put the milk back in the cup, it would remain spilt forever. That's what Sasuke was. Spilt milk. Rotten spilt milk.

Sakura smiled in spite of herself and took another deep breath, wanting to rid him from her thoughts.

She needed to sleep eventually; Tsunade had another mission for her tomorrow. D-ranked or not, it would be a mission outside of Konoha.

xx

"You want me to walk around Konoha all day?" Sakura asked incredulously, doubting her mentor's sanity.

"Yes."

"As an _Anbu Captain, _you want me to walk around Konoha all day and say hello to the citizens?"

"Yes."

"Have you gone mad?"

Tsunade smiled and shook her head. "It really is an important mission, Sakura."

"For an _Anbu Captain._" Sakura repeated, her brows furrowed and head cocked as she watched the woman sort through the endless paperwork. "You couldn't give this to one of the Jounin? Or even Chunin?"

"I reserved this mission especially for you." Tsunade stated.

"You don't think my skills can be utilized better on the battle field or in the hospital?"

"This is your mission, Sakura. Take it or go home."

Sakura decided that her mentor really was playing a sick joke on her. One that there would be no end to. She would just have to grin and bear it until Tsunade grew tired of the game. But of all people at all times. She had to choose Sakura right when that idiot came back.

"Very well then, Hokage."

She turned to leave, still flabbergasted at the waste of her skills. She had skill, she knew that much without being conceited. Shinobi must be confident in their abilities if they're going to win battles. They couldn't go in doubting themselves because their opponent would catch wind of it.

Confidence and determination.

Two things that she didn't feel on the mission Tsunade just gave to her.

Sakura never just walked around Konoha. She was always busy; always running errands or sleeping the day away until her next mission. Forcing herself to walk slowly through the village opened her eyes to things that she had rushed past before. For example, there was a wall on one of the buildings where people were having conversations on the stone in some kind of ink. And a pond full of paper cranes floating around on lily pads.

Ahead of her, a man was plowing a small garden, getting ready to plant their seeds for the spring to come. She remembered when Naruto had tried to start a little garden in the window of his apartment. It had been a bust, but seeing him so excited over dirt and seeds was still a hilarious memory.

The person continued to work, stopping only briefly to stare up at the cloudless sky.

That was when Sakura saw the man's face.

Sasuke.

Obviously being forced to do D-ranked missions just as she was - just like the old days. All they needed was Naruto to start complaining and it would be back to normal.

Tch.

Despite the sunken feeling Sakura felt in her chest, she stopped to watch him for a minute. She was so over him. Staring at him for a little while wouldn't matter. Though the more she had to tell herself that proved the opposite, didn't it?

This wasn't the same Sasuke - something she had to keep reminding herself of. He had changed. His goal had twisted from revenge for his family to a thirst for power.

It was surprising to see the girls simply walking past him though. Back then they all would have stopped to ogle, just as she found herself doing; watching his muscles as he dug into the ground. It was no secret that Sasuke was more attractive now than he had been back then, but the things he did and the choices he made tainted any affection that she may have felt for him.

Now she was simply watching out of boredom. A way to pass the time until Tsunade sent someone to retrieve her for a real mission.

Sakura sighed and leaned her back against the building, watching a few birds flit playfully across the sky. Everything around them was the same, but they were both so different now.

When she looked back to Sasuke, she wasn't surprised to see that he had spotted her. But she wasn't going to cower under his gaze. She leveled her eyes with his and shook her head slowly.

His emotionless face didn't change and Sakura felt something inside of her shift.

It no longer bothered her to see him. Because she didn't love him. No, not anymore. Now the only thing she felt when she looked upon him was pity. Pity for this stranger trying to make his way back into society. Pity for someone who was trying his best to atone for his mistakes but knowing that few people were ready to forgive him.

He would have a long road ahead of him, and Naruto could be a part of it if he wanted to. She wanted nothing more to do with him. She didn't want to think about the memories or the way she had felt. She wanted to move on; forgive and forget without the forgiving part.

If he ever wanted her to forgive him, he had a long way to go. There were no actions that would speed up the process, he would just have to wait until she was ready, and who knew how long that would take. For all she knew he didn't even want her forgiveness. For all she knew he really did have an alternate plan for returning and she was just a nuisance. Again.

But until that point so far off into the future that she didn't even want to think about it, she would keep him at least ten feet away from her at all times. She wouldn't talk to him if she could help it, wouldn't be involved in anything he was if she could help it.

She needed to put him back in the spot in her mind that didn't care. The one that she had lived with for six years. The one that had helped her to heal.

Because so help her she would not go through that kind of torture that knowing Sasuke ensued. She had to throw away the rotten milk!

Sakura reached up and traced the anbu tattoo on her arm, reminding herself how much she really had grown, and that she could prevent herself from being affected by him again. She was a strong kunoichi now, and Sasuke wouldn't ruin that.

She pushed herself off of the wall and turned away from him, proceeding to walk around the village and smile at the citizens. Her mission - to smile at people and let them know that the Konoha ninja cared about them.

Tsunade must have been drunk.

Not crazy, but still drunk.

"Oi! Sakura!" Naruto called, hopping down from the rooftops to land beside her.

"Did Tsunade send you?" She asked hopefully.

"No, I was going to ask you to come and train with me."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, a smile smile forming on her lips. "Naruto, if it would get me off of this mission, I would train with Lee."

Naruto laughed and clapped a hand onto her shoulder. No one really liked training with Lee, at least not when he was with Gai. She remembered Tenten telling her stories of their chunin days, when they would train for hours on end with no breaks.

Unfortunately, as she trained with her best friend, she found her mind wandering to Sasuke. Wondering what it would be like to train with him - he would have completely new techniques, and so did she.

Would he go easy on her because he thought she was weak? Or would he give it his all and beat her senseless.

"No." Sakura muttered under her breath, dodging some of Naruto's kunai. "I'm stronger than him."

Even if that was what she told herself, she knew it probably wasn't the truth. Yes, she had killed Sasori, but she'd had help. Sasuke had killed Itachi and who knows how many other elite ninja on his own.

He was powerful.

There was no denying that; it was a reason that he was kept alive. A threat to them all, it was much better to have him on their side.

And he wasn't just brute strength either, before Sasuke had left, he had been brilliant. Always able to calculate what the opponents next move would be and counter appropriately. Whether that was because of his Sharingan or not it didn't matter.

Would he be able to predict what she was going to do?

No.

Because he didn't know her style any more.

He didn't know anything about her anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I can't decide whether I like this chapter or not. I like some parts, but it happens.<strong>

**If you love it, review.  
>If you like it, review.<br>If you hate it, review.**

**And also, for my sneaky little readers who don't like to review, I've prepared something for you:**

_"What happened to Sasuke's guards? And why did he go out there? IS SASUKE A STALKER? LE GASP!"_

**Much love,**

**-EM **


	5. Time Heals All Wounds

**I am so sorry for the massive delay! I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately and have been really busy with my exams, but they're all done now! Now I get to focus on the Christmas season and hopefully make a swift return to uploading for you all! **

**Thank you for the kind reviews on my story, and I hope I can do you all justice!**

**-EM**

* * *

><p><em>"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree.<br>__The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens.  
>But it is never gone."<em>

_-Rose Kennedy_

**My Darkness: Chapter V**

**Time Heals All Wounds**

**xx**

It had been almost two months since he returned to Konoha. Or so he thought; time seemed to blur together during his time in Konoha. Everything was becoming routine again, a drastic change from what had been his impulsive and chaotic life before. He had barely slept in the time he'd been back, and for some reason it didn't bother him. It was his form of punishment for what he'd done.

He wasn't sure what kept him awake at night. No, that was wrong. He knew all too well what kept him awake. It was the faces. Always the faces. The pained smile on his mother's face as she'd breathed her last, the stoic refusal to admit pain on his father's face as his life flickered, the sneer on his brother's face as he'd declared Sasuke unworthy of death. It was the love, the overwhelming love on Itachi's face as he welcomed the death he had planned at his brother's hands and dared to smile in his last moments.

He'd taken his revenge on his brother, but for what? His nightmare still continued. His family was dead; annihilated completely by love and hate and revenge and Konoha where everything began. Yes, he knew what kept him so separated from the unattainable phantom that was sleep. But there was something else that kept him from reaching satisfaction. He had expected something akin to content after he had accomplished the goal that had tormented him so, but something else was keeping him from being at peace.

Was it regret?

No, it couldn't be. His path had already been predetermined for him, the only choice he'd had was the follow it and there would be no regrets in that. So then what? Something elusive lurked in the corners of his mind, teasing and sweetly torturing him as he drifted between wake and sleep; something that he couldn't put a word on.

_"So you have now changed your mind?"_

_"In a sense."_

It wasn't just one thing keeping him from sleep, he decided, but a multitude of them. His revenge wasn't complete yet; there were still things he needed to accomplish, things that he had to do before he could find the peace that he wanted. Not peace, he knew what he would do would not justify such a thing. He wanted to know that he had truly avenged his clan.

How many more sacrifices would he have to make to do so?

He closed his eyes briefly with a little bit of hope that he would fall asleep. But the second his vision was filled with blackness, there were flashes of pink. He cursed and threw the blanket off of him, leaving the bed in a fit of frustration.

She was everywhere he looked. Everywhere he didn't want her to be.

Whenever he saw her, he saw the girl that had tried to stop him from leaving. A courageous but fruitless act that he would never forget. Whenever he saw her, he saw all of the 'what ifs' that accompanied his departure.

What if he'd stayed?

What if he'd returned her feelings?

What if, what if, what if?

And he didn't want any of those. His life played out the way it was meant to and there was no space for second guessing himself. No space for her, then. If he could avoid her completely, he would have tried. |The looks that she sent him, filled with pain, resentment, and pity were getting too much for him to handle.

She pitied him?

Of all people, why did she pity _him_?

He was powerful. Even if there were many other things that he seemed to want, his power was something to be feared, not pitied. So why did she send him those looks? Why was she always such a nuisance to him?

But this time around, it was different. She was being annoying because he was letting her. He was letting her get under his skin with a simple look. This time around, he wanted to know what she was thinking behind those eyes. He wanted to know how much she had grown and how she worked. He wanted to fight her, and see how skilled she was. But she wouldn't let him get close.

His conflicting emotions were driving him mad. He didn't want her in his life, but he had to know how much she had grown? Was it meant to be some form of closure that he needed to really get past what he had done to her? He had to know that she was all right and that she wasn't still hurting from what he'd done?

That must have been it.

He simply needed to know that she was okay before he could find his sense of peace. It was the only explanation that he could fathom. How was it that she was able to haunt his sleep? How was it that he was worried about something as irrelevant as her feelings?

Coming back to Konoha must have been a mistake, a grave mistake but it was the only way to further himself in what he needed to do. He had to avenge his clan; that was the only thing that mattered now. Paying attention to Sakura would only set him back further.

He heard the thump of someone landing outside of his door and keened his ear to the sound. "The Hokage wishes to see you." A gruff voice said, catching Sasuke a little off guard.

It was very early in the morning, he didn't think anyone other than the perimeter guards would be awake right now. He had taken the Hokage to be someone who enjoyed her beauty sleep, if not to keep up appearances. But no, she was awake at an ungodly hour in the morning, just as he was.

The shinobi outside of his room left abruptly, leaving Sasuke to dress and meet the Hokage as she summoned him. What did she want that was so important it couldn't wait until the morning?

**xx**

Sakura glared at her mentor, trying her best to stop her hands from shaking. There was no way this was actually happening. Tsunade wouldn't be so cruel as to do this.

"You're kidding."

"No. And as a shinobi of Konoha I suggest you put your personal feelings aside and do what you're told." Tsunade said sternly, though she knew that it wouldn't be the end to her student's protests.

"Put my personal feelings aside? Is this another one of your stupid tests? I'm not going to do this if you're just wanting to see how I'll react around him." She clenched her fists at her sides, using all of her concentration to keep her voice controlled.

The Hokage met her eyes with determined ones of her own. "You're Anbu captain, Sakura. You're one of the best we have. I put you on this mission because if something should go wrong, I would like my best there to fix it. That's why Kiba and Neji will be accompanying you."

A good response, but Sakura knew that her mentor was skilled in turning situations in her favor. That may have been a factor in picking her, but it was not the entire story. She knew her better than that. "Do you think that we can trust him so soon?" Sakura asked, praying for a moment that something would change the Hokage's mind.

"Sasuke has shown no sign that he is going to make any harsh movements against Konoha. We've been watching him very closely for the past two months, Sakura, and for the time being it appears that he wants nothing more than to earn his clan's respect back."

"It's too soon."

"It's not your decision." Tsunade said shortly, standing up from her chair. "Those are your orders."

Sakura's fists were shaking uncontrollably at her sides. Out of fear, rage, or both she wasn't sure. "Very well then." She hissed through gritted teeth before turning on her heel and leaving the room.

She shouldn't be the one to go on this mission; why not send Naruto? He was as good, if not incomprehensibly better than her on so many levels. He'd had more experience, he was more prepared, and most importantly he was comfortable around Sasuke. How was she supposed to focus on her mission if she was worried that he was going to turn on them every time she turned her back?

But she knew that if she didn't go through with it, Tsunade would keep her away from missions until she, again, felt like she was ready to return. But it wasn't time away from missions that she needed, it was time away from Sasuke.

It seemed that the more she tried to stay away from him, the more her mentor was trying to push her towards him. Claiming that he was her teammate and that she couldn't ignore him forever, despite what he did. As the Hokage of the village the Uchiha betrayed, one would think she would be more harsh about anyone letting him back into society. But apparently all of that wrath was pent up in Hiashi Hyuuga and him alone.

Sakura wondered what he would think of a member of his clan being forced to go on a mission with Sasuke. Would he deny Neji's participation? Give the Hokage a good screaming match that Sakura would like to be present for? He was bound to find out eventually, and when it happened, all hell was going to break loose. It was only a matter of time.

Getting out of this mission rested in the Hyuuga clan leader's hands now. There was nothing more she could hope for other than his complete disapproval.

Naruto was waiting for her outside of the tower when she exited, his lips set in a grim line and his arms crossed over his chest. It could only mean that he was upset about something.

"Everything okay?" Sakura asked, stopping by his side.

"She won't let me go."

"Go where?"

"On the mission." He huffed, turning to look up at the circular room at the top of the tower. "I don't know what she thinks she's accomplishing by this!" He yelled, his voice echoing off the buildings.

"Naruto..."

**xx**

Tsunade sighed and let her head fall onto her desk in frustration. "She's exhausting me, Shizune."

Shizune gave her a sympathetic look before setting down a cup of sake and a new stack of papers for the Hokage to go through. "She doesn't understand yet."

"And it's making me seem like this terrible person who is only trying to ruin her." She whined, narrowing her eyes at the paperwork.

_"I don't know what she thinks she's accomplishing by this!" _

They shared a look of defeat as Naruto's words echoed throughout the village. "It's even getting Naruto mad at me."

"They'll both understand in time. Sakura will thank you for it."

"I just don't want her to suffer anymore. I'm trying to _help._"

Shizune nodded and picked up Tonton, cradling her in her arms. "We've received word from Kirigakure. A group of unmarked ninja have breached their defenses. Strong enough in number to overcome their entire shinobi defense lines." She said, trying to change the subject.

Tsunade chewed the inside of her cheek. "And here I have three of my Anbu Captains heading on an escort mission."

"Well, the probability of Hiashi letting Neji participate in the mission is very unlikely. He would never approve of his clan member, so highly ranked in the shinobi world, going on a simple escort mission. And that would be without him knowing Sasuke would be there."

"Once he finds out, Neji will be removed. We will send him to Kirigakure along with Shikamaru, Shino and Yamato to scout out the situation."

"Will you still be sending Sakura and Kiba away with Sasuke?" Shizune asked.

"I have enough faith in them to know that the mission will be done quickly. Though we will have Sai added to their team. Just as a precaution. If the trip to Kumogakure takes longer than expected, I will have them retrieved." Tsunade ran another hand over her face, realizing how ridiculous her plan sounded. "Inform the group going to Kirigakure as soon as possible and have them report to me."

Shizune nodded. "Very well, Hokage." She said respectfully before leaving the room.

**xx**

A mission.

Curious that the Hokage would be sending him out on a mission; and an escort at that. Though it was a step up from all of the D-ranked missions that he had been forced to do. Slow steps to gaining his clan's respect back.

Yet the choice of his team was questionable.

Neji; a man who had held a sort of resentment towards him since they were genin. They saw each other as two prodigies; rivals and fierce competition. It was no secret that his clan leader wasn't fond of him either after his display during Sasuke's judging.

Kiba; neither friend nor foe. Though Sasuke suspected that since his betrayal Kiba hadn't developed any kind feelings. If anything, he had created resentment within ever shinobi that was there to witness the aftermath of his departure. Every shinobi except Naruto.

And then Sakura; the one person he wished to be away from was on his squad. The one person whose looks were the only ones he didn't want to see. Someone that he didn't want to be near and yet still wanted to know. The most confusing person in his life at the moment. No, the most confusing person... not in his life.

This mission was a test of his loyalty, at least the beginning of his tests. Tsunade wanted to know that he was serious about re-establishing himself in Konoha, and he would be damned if he let a silly girl mess that all up.

He felt Naruto's chakra as he approached the grounds Sasuke had been standing in. Not training, or causing mayhem, just standing with his thoughts and thinking things through.

He stopped beside him, staring in the same direction as his old friend, wondering what he was finding so interesting. "You realize that this is a a great opportunity the Hokage is giving you." Naruto said, turning to face him instead.

Sasuke's eyes lingered on the forest's edge. "Yes."

"And you understand that if you mess it up in any way, if you cause harm to any one of your teammates, you will most likely be executed this time."

"Yes."

"If you show any disobedience to the village-"

"I get it, Naruto." He said in a tone that could have sounded angry, but remained emotionless coming from Sasuke.

"If you hurt Sakura..." Naruto warned.

"I want nothing to do with her." He said shortly, turning away from the blonde ninja. "She is on the squad, nothing more."

**xx**

_Sakura knew the second she saw his backpack that he was leaving._

_"It's the middle of the night... what are you hanging around here for?" He asked, coming to a stop in front of her._

_"This is the only road out of the village." She said softly, looking down at the cobblestone._

_He started walking again, ignoring her. "You should go to bed."_

_She let him walk past her, her mind busied with an internal conflict. Should she say something? Should she tell him how she felt? But didn't he already know how she felt? She felt new tears stinging her eyes and she tried to blink them away, though it was no use. He was going to leave. He was going to leave and she loved him._

_"Why, Sasuke?" She turned to his retreating back. "Why won't you ever tell me anything? Why is it always silence with you? You've never shared a single thing with me-"_

_"Why should I have to tell _you_ anything?" He said, stopping himself from taking another step. She watched his back, tears streaming freely down her cheeks. If he would only turn around. Maybe if he saw her tears he would come back. He wouldn't leave... he couldn't leave. "Just keep your nose out of my business. It's none of your concern."_

_She let out a breath and looked down at the road again. "I know you hate me." She whispered. "Even in the beginning you could never stand me." She smiled to herself at the memory and looked at his back. "Remember? Back when we made genin and we were assigned to our three man squads?" She smiled again. "We were alone together for the first time, right here on this very spot. You got so mad at me that day."_

_He remained rooted to the spot, not moving, not looking at her as she cried. He knew she was crying. But he would not look back at the people he was leaving behind. He knew the day she was talking about... when she thought she knew something about being alone.. thought she understood what it was like not to have parents. "I do not remember that."_

_Her eyes widened in shock and she took a small step back as though she had been slapped. She let out a breath as the tears continued to cascade down her cheeks. "Yeah, sure... I mean... it was so long ago, right?" She looked up at the night sky, twinkling menacingly down at her. "But still, that's the day when it all began. It was the start of you and me... and Naruto... and Kakashi-sensei. __The four of us started going on missions. It was rough back then... every day was such a challenge. But, more than anything," she smiled at him, willing him to turn around, if only for a second, "it was so much fun!"_

_When Sasuke didn't respond in any way... didn't even move at all, really, she let out a sigh and shook her head, realizing that her attempts were fruitless. "I know about your clan, Sasuke... I do. But seeking revenge... that won't bring anyone happiness. Nobody at all. Not you, and not me."_

_"I knew it." Sakura looked back at him, startled. "I'm not the same as you. I'm travelling a path the rest of you can't follow. I know that the four of us have worked together, and for a while I thought I could take that road instead, but in the end, I've decided on revenge." He furrowed his brows together and clenched his hand in a fist. "That's always been my reason for living. I'll never be like you and Naruto."_

_"Don't do this Sasuke!" She cried, taking a step closer. "You don't have to be alone! You told me that day how painful a thing solitude can be. I understand that pain now." She paused, wanting to illicit some sort of reaction from him. "I have a family, and friends." She sniffled and took another step forward. "But, if you were gone, Sasuke, it would be the same thing for me as being all alone."_

_He narrowed his eyes at the ground, trying to ignore her words, though he felt a slight pang in his chest. Slight, but there. "This is a new beginning. Each of us has a new path lying before us-"_

_"Sasuke!" She took another step closer. "I'm so in love with you I can't even stand it!" she said through sobs. "If you would only be with me, I promise, I'd never let you regret it. Every day will be a joy. I can give you happiness. I'll do anything for you, Sasuke!" Her voice was wobbly and her hands shaking, but she knew she had to say it. It could be the difference between him staying and leaving._

_"So please, I'm begging you, don't walk away! I'll even help get your revenge! I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen, I swear!" She yelled, trying to reach him with her words, though she wasn't sure if it was working or not. "So stay here... with me." She whispered "And if you can't... then take me with you, Sasuke."_

_He turned to her, a smirk on his face. "You haven't changed. You're still annoying."_

_She gasped, staring at him wide-eyed. He turned away and started to walk again, but Sakura wouldn't... couldn't let that happen. "Don't leave me!" She yelled, running a few steps closer. "If you leave, I'll scream!"_

_He vanished from sight, re-appearing behind her, hands jammed into his pockets. "Sakura..." he whispered. "Thank you for everything."_

_For a minute, Sakura had thought that she had finally gotten through to him with that threat... a last ditched attempt to prevent him from leaving. But she felt a sharp pain at the back of her neck and quickly realized that he was knocking her out._

_"Sasuke..." she murmured as her vision faded to blackness._

Sakura woke up startled, her chest rising and falling in rapid succession, a string of curses resting on her lips. She was starting to have that nightmare again... the same one that had left her crying on more than one occasion because the wound was still fresh. Her heart was aching now as it resurfaced from the years of misuse. Naruto had been strong enough to get over this, so why couldn't she? There were so many people that counted on her now, and there was no room for feelings like this.

She had made countless promises to herself that she would stop crying and get over him. She thought she had, to be quite honest. His face hadn't entered her mind at all until Tsunade brought up the mission. Now the nightmare was back and she was being faced with those uncomfortable feelings all over again.

That night had haunted her dreams more times that she could keep track of. But for it to arise again, in a time when she was trying so hard to ignore those childish feelings, was more than she felt she could handle. If she could erase the part of her mind that forced her to dream, she would have. If she could erase her memory of that night, she would have. But there was no way.

The escort squad was supposed to be leaving in the morning, she realized as she turned her attention to the window. The sun was just starting to crest over the mountain, letting a faint orange glow wash over the village. The group was composed of Kiba, Sai instead of Neji, and.. Sasuke.

It was a shame that Hiashi's disapproval hadn't been enough to completely cancel the mission, but she couldn't always hope for miracles.

It still bothered her, however, that Tsunade was continually sending her and Kiba on missions that were way under their level, but she supposed that in this case it was understandable... to an extent. It made sense that she would want them there to fend of Sasuke if he made a move against them. But her of all people. It was rude, and...

No...

Maybe it was good that she was being forced to be in Sasuke's presence. The more she did it, the more she could come to terms with his return and the more she could try and become comfortable with him in Konoha. After all, there was nothing she could do that would suddenly rewind time and make it so he never came back.

She would have to deal with it, like she had been for the past two months. Slowly, things would get better. They always did.

Time healed all wounds eventually.

**xx**

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><p><strong>Again, I am very, very, very sorry for the massive delay! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and will continue reading for the next one!<strong>

_"OMIGOSH. Mission together? What could happen? THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!"_

**Review, review, review!**

**-EM**


	6. I Don't Trust You

**So, I realize that my updating had been lacking terribly, and for that I can do nothing more than apologize! I do hope you all had wonderful holidays!**

**-EM**

* * *

><p><em>"Trust is the easiest thing in the world to lose, and the hardest thing in the world to get back."<em>

_-R. Williams_

**My Darkness: Chapter VI**

**I Don't Trust You**

**xx**

Her heartbeat was racing against her will inside her chest as she neared the gates of Konoha, as ready as she could ever be for the mission that could possibly cost her the sanity she held dear.

Kiba and Sasuke stood nonchalantly against the wall, though she could almost see the awkwardness hanging in the air, at least on Kiba's part. His body was rigid and Akamaru at his side looked just as nervous as they watched their teammate. It was clear that Kiba wasn't comfortable around him.

Sakura took a deep breath before approaching them and leaned beside Kiba, trying not to make eye contact with the Uchiha. "It's getting colder." She commented, making light conversation and tucking her hands into her front pocket.

"Yeah." Kiba agreed, glad to have some sort of company other than the frozen statue that some referred to as Sasuke.

He was standing so still, saying nothing and doing nothing but staring at the space in front of him like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Sakura wondered if his jutsus were going to be out of practice; the Elders didn't want him training much, though Sakura wasn't sure if their word would ever stop him for long. If he wanted to train, he would train.

Before she could look away, Sasuke caught her eyes and she turned away in embarrassment. How juvenile of her. He'd caught her staring at him; blatantly staring and not trying to hide it because she didn't think he would ever move. She could almost imagine the smirk he was wearing right now after seeing her blush and turn away. That asshole.

"Ah, sorry I'm late!" Sai said, the familiar fake smile on his face as he approached them. "Kakashi held us back for the briefing longer than I expected."

He looked at Sasuke and smiled, nodding his head once. Sasuke only regarded him with an emotionless look and nothing more. If only he would try like Sai did. Even if Sai didn't like someone, he always made a point to smile, because that's what he was taught. He was trying, and that was what mattered.

Sasuke could take a few tips from him.

Yamato was following closely behind Sai astride another, older man, his head covered with a straw hat and his shoulders carrying a heavy backpack that looked to be straining his shoulders even as he tried to shift it.

"Here, let me." Sakura said softly, taking his bag. The man smiled graciously and rolled his shoulders. "You must be Tamaki." She continued, pulling the backpack onto her back.

"Yeah, that's me." He said in a tone that was very hard to hear.

Yamato cast a cautious look at Sasuke before turning back to the other members. "I just came to see Tamaki off." He said cheerfully, smiling to the said tea farmer.

"Let's go." Kiba said roughly, clearly wanting to get a move on. The sooner the mission was over the better, as all of them seemed to be thinking. Not to mention that everyone probably wanted to have an excuse to move away from Sasuke and his not exactly present aura. It wouldn't be good for their team chemistry, but it was an escort mission for crying out loud; how much chemistry did they really need?

Sakura, Kiba and Sai waved a goodbye to Yamato before starting on their mission.

No one spoke as they began the trip to Kumogakure. What was there to talk about with Sasuke there? All they could do was exchange awkward glances and resist the urge to scream. The only person that seemed to escape the unpleasant tension was Sai, who was too far ahead of them to really count as 'no one'. Therefore, no one spoke. At all.

Sakura almost felt bad for the Tamaki, though he didn't seem to mind. He was just glad that he had an escort of so many skilled ninja. If anything, it should have made him nervous.

Akamaru stuck close to Kiba and continued to cast worried glances back at their unwanted teammate, though unwanted didn't even begin to cover it.

He was a risk. A risk to the entire team. If he were to suddenly change his mind and decide that he didn't want back in Konoha what would stop him from turning on the team? If being sent on a mission was all part of his plan so he could sabotage it and again, _kill _all of his teammates, there would be nothing they could do. Sure, they could put up a fight if they expected it... but if it was a spur of the moment decision for him, if he did it without them knowing; surprised them. It would be the end.

It seemed that Sai had this protective bubble around him; free of worries concerning Sasuke and free of the awkward atmosphere that seemed to have mentally crippled most of them. Though Sakura knew that Sai didn't know how to interpret something like this and he didn't know Sasuke before he left, he was surely informed by more than one person about what he'd done. The betrayal. Everyone knew about it, and so Sai, being an educated person, knew as well. He just seemed to hide it better than everyone else.

The team walked with Tamaki, keeping their guard up just in case this mission, for some ungodly reason, went awry. It was a highly unlikely thing to happen. Tamaki was a tea farmer, he just wanted protection from the harshness of the wilderness and safe passage to his hometown, as Sakura had learned. He wasn't a very brave man, and their defense meant a lot to him.

Sakura was glad to help.

Not so glad to be doing it with Sasuke.

The stark day slowly developed into a cool and chilly night. The group set up the first camp of the night, more for Tamaki's comfort than their need to sleep. Though Sasuke made no outward voice of disapproval, Sakura could tell that he found stopping unnecessary and a useless setback to completing the mission and returning home. It was his body language. The way he never uncrossed his arms around them and the looks he cast at the man they were supposed to be protecting. To Sasuke, he was a nuisance and a waste of breath. But Sasuke wasn't one to help people. She was sure that any civilians that spent their time mulling around the city and not training to be a shinobi were all the same to him; expendable.

Sakura chewed on her lip, glancing at the bodies of her sleeping teammates. She was on guard duty first, though it didn't matter when her turn came, she didn't think she was going to be able to sleep at all. At least not with Sasuke so close and threatening.

She scanned the dark forest, almost wishing some kind of animal would come storming at them so she would have something to do. A little excitement was what they all needed. Four highly ranked shinobi and someone that she knew would be high ranked if he hadn't betrayed his village needed some kind of action. This whole walking and no fighting thing was really getting to her and making her restless.

Standing up, she tiptoed around her sleeping team and strode to the outskirts of the little camp they'd made for the night. She could run around the perimeter a couple of times if for nothing else than to stretch her legs.

"Sakura." She froze in place, whirling around to see the man staring back at her. His voice had been ingrained in her memories, she'd known it was him.

"Sasuke." She acknowledged, trying to turn back around and do her best to ignore him. His hand closed around her wrist and he pulled her toward him with an unexpected harshness. She didn't think he'd meant to do it quite so hard but she let out a gasp as his fingers tightened against her skin. She wasn't trapped by any stretch of the imagination, but for half a moment, she could believe she was. The painful restraint on her wrist sent shock waves of heat through her body, and she found her breathing had grown heavy, willing it to slow down. "Let go of me." She hissed.

"You're avoiding me." He said. For someone who had wanted her out of his life, he couldn't explain his actions. His body was moving before his brain had time to comprehend what was really going on. "Why?"

"I-" Sakura started, her brows furrowing as she stared grudgingly at his hand on her arm. "Let me go." She said more fervently before finding her words useless against him. She broke from his grasp and backed up, surprised to find that she was shaking ever so slightly.

He continued to look at her with the same emotionless face, which only made her want to punch him in the jaw. For a moment, Sakura mulled over the different shades of bruises she had witnessed at the hospital, and wondered exactly how much chakra she would need to focus into her speed and accuracy in order to land a particularly spectacular one on Sasuke's cheekbone. Because now all she wanted to do was hurt him. Hurt him just like he'd hurt her and make him feel the pain and loss that she'd felt.

One day he would miss her like she missed him.

One day he would cry for her like she'd cried for him.

One day he would love her and she wouldn't love him.

He dropped his hand though his eyes were still locked on hers, sending her through a mixture of emotions. She didn't want this anymore. Why wouldn't he just leave her alone? Why did he always find her?

"What do you want from me?" She asked, her voice coming out weaker than she wanted. It was a painful thing to experience; being reduced to such a feckless state by his touch.

Sasuke paused, unsure of the answer himself. What did he want from her? She haunted his head and plagued his dreams and yet he couldn't figure out what he wanted. Why did she keep popping up? She was like a ghost that manifested whenever he didn't want her to. But no, it wasn't her. He'd been seeking her out. Just like tonight, just like the day he found her in the training grounds. He'd sensed it was her and was intrigued at the power she possessed. So tremendous for someone that he had written off earlier in his life as a waste of space. And yet he couldn't decipher what he desired from her.

When Sasuke remained silent, she turned to walk away, only to be stopped once more by his warm hand on her wrist. When she whirled around to glare at him, she could only hope that her menacing look was sufficient enough to get her point across. She didn't want him near her!

He took a step closer and Sakura flinched away, taking a step back. Sasuke rose an eyebrow. "You're afraid of me." He noted, releasing her wrist and letting his hands fall to his side.

She shook her head. "I just don't trust you, Sasuke," Sakura muttered, turning back to the direction of the camp, the faint firelight barely permeating the trees. "Not the way I used to."

Sakura left him in the darkness of the forest, her head in a flurry of emotions that she was trying her best to rein in. What _was _that? Had Sasuke been hit in the head since he'd returned back? Or were his actions some kind of sick joke. He must have been talking with Tsunade. Planning to humiliate her for some godforsaken reason.

It seemed like he spent half of the night standing unmoving in the forest. His silhouette was the only thing she could see; a darker outline in the already dreary forest. Sakura wondered how he could do that; not move and be left alone with his thoughts for such a long time.

He could stand there and not move, and yet Sakura couldn't picture him as a very patient man.

Time slipped by slowly, and it wasn't until Sasuke returned to camp that it was time for her to rouse Kiba for his turn to keep watch. She tucked herself under her blankets, staring absentmindedly at the fire flickering in front of her. As annoying as it was, she couldn't get Sasuke's actions out of her head.

It was the friendliest - if that could even be classified as friendly - he'd ever been since she'd known him. He'd changed... everyone had in six years. But she couldn't tell if this slight alteration of his personality was a good thing, or if he'd actually just gone insane.

She was right earlier when she didn't think sleep would find her tonight. She felt Sasuke's presence weighing down on her like a thick unwanted blanket. She listened as Kiba and Sai alternated watch shifts, purposely leaving Sasuke out of the rotation, as they had planned earlier. The person on guard duty was as much protecting them from wildlife and any intruders as they were from Sasuke.

**xx**

"You know, you might as well be torturing her." Naruto said callously, looking out the window of the Hokage's office to stare at the bright sun cresting over the mountains. Tsunade had called him to her office to inform him of what she was really trying to do with Sakura and Sasuke.

Tsunade sighed, knowing how angry Naruto was that she wasn't letting him follow them. But if Naruto interfered, things wouldn't fall into place as they were meant to. "And you know that I'm doing what I must."

"At what price?" He asked, an undertone in his voice making him sound much older and wiser than he looked.

She knew the price for Sakura could be high if things went awry. But if things went according to plan... she might be happier. The Hokage recalled Sai's strong words the day Sasuke returned, realizing how true they really were. It was with his help that they created this entire scheme.

_"Sasuke's heart is still a blank canvas." Sai said, standing before her with Kakashi. "The right person can paint it whatever color they want."_

If he was right, and Sakura was the right person, then things might very well work out.

They had to work out.

Or they were going to have to kill Sasuke Uchiha.

Tsunade never questioned how Sai obtained his information; some things were better left to the imagination. But she trusted Sai, and knew that his life was dedicated to the safety of Konoha, just as Danzo was. The man that trained him ingrained the protection of Konoha in all of his Root members.

However, just to be sure, she brought Kakashi into the situation. Sasuke had been his student, he would have some insight on what the Uchiha could be planning. The three of them realized that Sasuke having an ulterior motive was a possibility; though it always had been. The question was, if he really didn't return just to reclaim his clan's honor, then what was he planning?

"I know that Sakura can do this, consciously or not." Tsunade said, forcing herself from her train of thought and returning to the present moment. Naruto, upset and angered, seconds away from tearing a strip from her. One that she could tear right back if she needed to.

Naruto may have been regarded as a very powerful ninja, but he shouldn't forget who the Hokage was.

"She doesn't want anything to do with him." He said, turning to narrow his eyes at her. "How in the hell are you expecting this to work?"

"I don't know, Naruto." She said, her hand tightening around the pen, restraining her strength before she snapped the thing in half. "But it's either this, or we kill him."

Naruto was more than shocked to hear those words come out of the Hokage's mouth. If this plan didn't work he was dead. Simple as that? "You're not going to give him another chance? You think just because Sai spouted this piece of information to you that it justifies killing him?" He yelled, the only thing he seemed to be able to do lately.

"He could betray us at any minute. If this doesn't work, I don't want to risk it."

"So detain him! Keep him in captivity! Why do you have to kill him?"

As stupid as it seemed, the idea of keeping Sasuke as a captive never occurred to her. It seemed to great of a risk if he ever broke out. Yet when Naruto said it, it seemed like the simplest solution in the world. "I don't know."

"It doesn't seem like you want him alive." He muttered before turning away from her. "Let me know when you've thought everything through." He hissed as he left the room, angry as usual.

**xx**

Sasuke noted the arrangement in which the team set off. Akamaru took the lead, for his nose if nothing else, Sakura and Sai walked with Tamaki, who moved slower than a slug, then himself, and Kiba following closely behind.

He knew that none of them trusted him, not yet. It was going to take a while before anyone felt comfortable on a mission with him.

His eyes landed on the two shinobi in front of him, chatting idly and smiling at each other. And for the first time, he found that his eyes weren't drawn to the one with pink hair, but instead to the black-haired man that walked next to her.

Sai, if he'd heard Sakura say correctly.

Sasuke didn't remember seeing him in the academy, so he must have joined Konoha's forces after he'd left. By the looks of him and the feel of his chakra, he didn't seem very strong at all. Sasuke knew that if they had to fight, he would be the one to prevail as he always did. There were few left in the world that could rival him.

And yet it made him irate to know that Sai could talk to Sakura without her glaring at him or letting him know that she wanted nothing to do with him.

He had been ready for Neji to be on this mission. He was prepared for the malice that he knew he would receive from the Hyuuga. But from this character... he didn't know what to expect. There was an air of indifference about him whenever they shared a glance or a brief look. Sai didn't know what to think of him; he neither hated him nor liked him. But there was still something off.

There was no doubt that he knew what Sasuke had done. Everyone in Konoha did, but it was his reaction to it that Sasuke was curious about. This guy showed no emotion, none at all when they looked at each other. Though Sasuke knew that's what people thought of him as well. It was a smart thing to do; guard your emotions. It prevented an enemy from anticipating your moves, prevented anyone from gaining insight to what you were thinking.

Maybe he was underestimating this Sai.

There was no way to tell. He was a wild card. A last minute addition for whatever reason the Hokage had.

He didn't like him.

He didn't like the tea farmer either. He was slow and useless and this would be done much quicker if they'd just let one of them carry him. But he'd _refused._ What an ignorant fool.

He felt a sudden fluctuation of chakra, which made him stop walking. Upon looking at the others, he realized that they'd felt it too and were bracing themselves for a fight.

There were a lot of chakra signatures, thirty men at the very least. It made him wonder why they were travelling in such a large pack, what their objective was.

They couldn't be after the tea farmer; unless they wanted their daily green tea intake he was useless to them. It seemed unlikely that they were after the Konoha ninja, and no one would seek himself out directly. So what were they doing?

He rested his hand on Kusanagi, ready for the shinobi to emerge from the forest onto the road. Would they fight? Or pass by.

Looking to the other members on the team, he saw them making a defensive ring around Tamaki, while he stood off to the side. What was his purpose here? He didn't know their formations, and he didn't care to defend the target, even if it would compromise the mission.

No, that wasn't the way he should be thinking. He had to complete the mission, and do it successfully. It was imperative to regain his status.

With a moments hesitation, he joined their ring, earning a surprised look from Sakura and Kiba, though it was brief. They focused their attention on the possible threat at hand.

Tamaki stood cowardly in the center of them all, looking around the road in a state of panic. "What's going on?" He cried, legs trembling as he assessed the state of the shinobi sent to guard him. They were all defensive and he was smart enough to realize that something wasn't right. "Is someone there? Is someone trying to kill me?"

"Shut up." Kiba hissed, his eyes focused on the edge of the forest. There were so many of the chakra signals.. and four of them. Five including Akamaru. If they decided to attack, could the beat them?

The chakra signals were all reasonably strong, which made him wary. They weren't just random shinobi sent on a mission. These men had a purpose, a purpose that required thirty or more elite ninja. The only thing they could do now was wait to see if they would pass by or not.

If they decided to fight, Kiba knew that they were going to have their hands full.

Then, everything fell dead silent. Sakura tensed, awaiting their attack and preparing herself to dodge any incoming weapons. She'd always had keen eyesight and it would come in handy right now.

All of their chakra signals dropped suddenly, and Sakura knew that they had sensed the group. Her eyes continued to dart along the edge of the forest, ready to both attack and defend.

"Look out!" Kiba shouted as a kunai was thrown from the cover of the trees. It missed them all, landing in front of Sakura as she stared at it quizzically. Why would they miss? Then, realization clicked in and she jumped away, grabbing Tamaki in the process.

The ground where they had all been standing moments ago lit up, dirt flying as the explosion erupted.

That was it then.

They were here to fight.

**xx**

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><p><strong>Yay, another chapter!<strong>

**Consider it my late Christmas present to you all! Once again I hope you all had wonderful holidays and find this chapter a suitable present :D**

_Ooo, epic battle ensuing. I can't wait to read it! Poor Sasuke, gettin' a little jealous of Sai._

_From, _

_Your Faithful Reviewer_

_**DUNDUNDUN.**_

_**-EM**_


	7. Protection

_**HAPPY 2012! I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, I was really hoping I would :( But oh well! A new chapter for the New Year! Once again, thank you to all my reviewers for the positive feedback I received for the last chapter!**_

_**-EM**_

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><p><em>"He gave his life to protect her, and she could do nothing but stare in shock at the man<br>__who had explained on more than one occasion his undying hatred, not love, of everything that she stood for."_

_-Anonymous_

**My Darkness: Chapter VII**

**Protection**

**xx**

Sakura threw an array of senbon into the edge of the forest, hoping to at least startle a few of them. To no avail, she watched in slight horror as they encircled the five of them, sneers on their face. None of them attacked though, the explosive tag seemed to be the only offensive thing they were going to use for the time being.

One of the ninja came forward, something close to an anbu mask covering his face. "This doesn't need to turn into a blood bath." He said, drawing his sword and pointing it at the group. "Hand over the Uchiha, and we'll be done here."

Sakura rose an eyebrow. Some part of her knew that Sasuke would have a lot of enemies - she didn't think he was exactly the friendliest person in the world, so this wasn't really a surprise. It almost made her laugh really, to realize that she was probably going to have to fight these men in order to protect him.

Not that he couldn't handle himself, but they were a team right now, and they wouldn't let him fight them all alone.

Surprisingly, Sasuke made no move against them, merely waited for the idiots to decide that they would do. They weren't going to be taking him. There may have been more of them, but the Konoha ninja on his side were more than skilled, though he had his doubts about Sai and hadn't really seen Sakura or Kiba in action.

Well, he knew that he could take them on his own if he needed to.

In fact, the only reason he didn't kill them now was the caution of being yelled at for not complying with the team. And at the moment, they weren't making any move against the enemies, and so neither would he.

"Why's that?" Sakura asked, a slight tone of humor to her voice, like she was in on some kind of joke.

The man furrowed his brows, as if it was one of the stupidest questions he'd ever heard. "Well, little girl, I don't find that to be any of your business." He sneered, mocking her with his tone of voice. "Shouldn't you be back in your village, cleaning the laundry and cooking the meals?"

The men gathered behind him all let out chuckles, which only enraged her further.

Sai and Kiba let out a sigh, knowing what was coming next. Sakura didn't hate anything more than a cocky asshole that thought he could beat her just because she was a woman. And little girl? What the hell was that?

She stood up straighter, relinquishing her defense position and walking towards him. "You're right." She muttered casually, twirling a kunai around her finger.

"Sakura..." Kiba said, a heavy warning tone in his voice. When she got pissed, she got pissed.

Ignoring her teammate's caution, she continued moving closer to the man, restraining herself from unleashing her anger. "That's exactly what I do here. I do laundry."

The man regarded her with lazy eyes, as if he knew that she wasn't going to be putting up much of a fight and that he could defeat her easily. It was perfect for Sakura; he wouldn't expect her to do anything rash because she was supposed to be a frightened little girl that found herself thrust into the shinobi community.

"I'll take care of your shirt next." She said, desisting the twirling of the kunai and thrusting it into his chest before he could react. "You're going to have a little stain there."

In hindsight, Sakura realized that it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do when there were twenty nine other shinobi ready to kill her after she'd just murdered their Captain, but she probably wouldn't have done anything differently.

Understanding that the other enraged ninja would be on her in mere seconds, she jumped away, back to her team where she had someone to cover her back. The enemies charged at them head on, a tactic that Sakura thought was wrought from the unexpectant death of the man who was supposed to coordinate them. But still, their chakra signals implied that they were very strong fighters, so for them to think that this tactic would work in any situation was more than a little mindless.

She watched as Sasuke drew his sword and Kiba marched in front of her, Akamaru at his side. "You stay with Tamaki. You've done enough." He said, clearly not very happy with her dramatic display.

"Kiba-"

"Go!" He snarled.

Sai nodded to her before joining the other two men in the fight.

Those jerks _would_ leave her to guard the tea farmer. Yes, he was needed for the success of the mission, and yes, it was her job to protect him, but she still wanted to kick the asses of the men who thought it was so funny for a woman to be fighting. Sexist bastards. Not to mention that they were fighting alongside Sasuke! The man that she knew they were all more than uncomfortable with!

Though she supposed it made sense. If they didn't trust him, they wouldn't want him handling the most important man in their mission.

"Let's go." She whispered to Tamaki, hoisting him onto her back and jumping into the security of the trees. Better safe than sorry.

She watched the battle before her though mainly keeping an eye on Sasuke as he all but obliterated his opponents. If she'd been curious about his jutsus being out of practice, it had been sated. With a single swipe of his sword, he took out almost six of the men, his sword crackling with the power of his chidori.

One of Sai's ink paintings swept through another bit of them, startling them at the very least and letting Sai dispose of them with a few kunai. Kiba and Akamaru were making short work of them as well; this would be over and done with in no time and they'd be able to continue to Kumogakure.

Sakura was just starting to relax and get ready to move Tamaki back to them when she felt a spike of chakra from behind. As she whirled around, a kunai scraped along her cheek, just scratching the surface, but still catching her off guard.

"Tamaki!" She shouted, putting herself between him and the intruder hiding in the trees.

She felt his chakra now, and knew exactly where he was. But she couldn't just run at him and leave Tamaki defenseless. So she waited, keeping her focus on his chakra and waiting for him to make his move.

Something slashed across her arm then, and another across her leg as kunai flew from the brush. Sakura grimaced, but held her ground. They were hitting her and not Tamaki, that was the utmost importance. Narrowing her eyes at the forest, she tried to focus; the damn things would be easy to dodge if she could see where they were coming from.

Another came from her left, and she deflected it with her own kunai, watching angrily as it rebounded to the ground. "Shit." She muttered under her breath, daring a glance at the three men still battling behind her. It seemed that the men were more difficult to defeat than she thought; or perhaps they'd received reinforcements?

Sakura heard another whistle then, but it was not the sound of just one small kunai. She could sense the different sounds of the weapons as they flew at her; a barrage of senbon, long swords, shuriken and kunai alike were being launched at her. This, at least she heard coming and could move out of the way for.

In a hurry, she threw Tamaki onto her back and jumped out of the forest, moving onto the small plain that her teammates were on. But the sharp sound of the weapons continued, almost like they'd completely avoided the trees in the way. Controlled by chakra strings then?

Two small distracting kunai came from the woods, and she easily deflected them, cursing as the single throws continued, all the while still being able to hear the mass of weapons that was still headed her way. It didn't matter where she moved; they would follow her, controlling the arsenal with the strings until it hit her. But there had to be some way to protect herself.

Closer.

Closer.

Sakura slammed her fist into the ground and hoped that the chunks of rock that flew in the way was enough to stop some of them. She stood in front of Tamaki, kunai in hand as she braced for the impact. Some of them were going to hit her regardless, and she could only hope that they wouldn't be serious injuries.

In a flash she was on the ground, the wind knocked out of her as a wet substance splattered across her face. She stared up at the sky in shock as a distinct understand settled within her.

None of the weapons had hit her. Something much larger had knocked her to the ground. A body. A human body.

Sasuke leaned over her, blood dripping from his mouth, his arms, his chest. He looked like a human pincushion; all of the weapons sticking from his back and arms; the weapons that were meant for her.

"You idiot." She hissed, glancing around for more enemies and watching in smug satisfaction as Kiba and Sai finished them off. But then she heard Tamaki's voice behind her as someone picked him up. His cries were painful to be heard as she felt helpless, still trying to regain her breath.

Tamaki couldn't be taken... the mission, the entire mission would be compromised. Still, she couldn't move. Sasuke's weight and the impact of the fall were still weighing on her despite how much she was trying to focus and get herself up.

She just... couldn't.

Sasuke met her eyes and managed a smirk at her words. The man was still an arrogant bastard even when he was about to die. He collapsed on top of her, his breath coming out in shallow gasps as she panicked, calling for her teammates. They were at her side immediately, Kiba's eyes widening a fraction as they pulled him off of her.

"There was a man in the forest." Sakura said, sitting up and taking in the full extent of Sasuke's wounds. That idiotic bastard. Why didn't he just let her take it! "He took Tamaki. You have to follow him!"

Sai rose his eyebrows disapprovingly and Kiba shook his head. "We aren't going to leave you two behind." Kiba muttered.

Sakura looked to Sasuke and shook her head, ushering them away. "Think of the mission, Kiba. How incompetent will Tsunade think us if we fail something as mediocre as this!"

Kiba nodded grudgingly though it looked like he was fighting some internal battle. Stay and protect his teammates or save the mission? It was obvious the choice he needed to make, so why was he debating it?

"You'll be okay.. with him?" Sakura nodded, unsure of whether he meant healing Sasuke or protecting herself from him if he miraculously healed himself.

"Yes! Now go!" She shouted.

"Be careful." Sai cautioned before he turned with the Inuzuka and sprinted to the forest.

Sakura let out a soft breath and turned to Sasuke, who looked like he was about to start convulsing on the ground. He may have protected her, but healing him would void anything he might think she owed him for such an act. That's all it could have been. He'd wanted her to ower him for something.

Sakura began to work on pulling the weapons out, one by one, as careful as she could. Pulling them out in a hurry would only be causing more damage and that wouldn't do anyone any good.

The idiot! Why would he jump in front of her like that? Why would he sacrifice his life for her own? She couldn't let the bastard die... not after that.

She focused her healing chakra to her hands, holding them over his chest and sealing the wounds so at the very least the bleeding wouldn't kill him. But he was still a bloody mess. Sakura ripped his shirt open to get better access to his skin.

_Okay…okay. This is just like any other situation on the battle field. Find out which is the most serious wound and heal that first. Work your way down. _She told herself.

But she was running out of chakra fast as she tried to heal his wounds. She wouldn't have enough to search through every single cut.

Sasuke groaned. "Don't waste your chakra."

"Shut up." She hissed, trying to focus even as she could feel her chakra depleting further.

She healed his vital organs first; his heart, his liver, his lungs, his kidneys... that ninja had gotten everything. Sakura was shocked at how much chakra it was taking her. Already she was starting to feel light-headed and fatigued, and was starting to sway around. But there was no way she could stop; there was no way she could let him die. Not when it was supposed to be her.

It was supposed to be her.

When most of his wounds were closed and the internal injuries were more or less patched for the time being, she felt like she was ready to collapse. It'd been a long time since she'd done such an extensive healing process, and it had taken a lot more out of her than she'd been expecting.

Tapping into the last bit of strength she had left, she hoisted Sasuke onto her back and started walking into the forest. At least there would be some form of protection this way. They wouldn't be exposed in an open plain.

Further inspection of the forest revealed a small mountain like structure that had the potential of housing a few caves. The only real challenge now was finding one that wouldn't give them away if she lit a fire. A cave that had some sort of door. An impossible feat, when she thought of it, and she didn't have enough time or energy to do a thorough search.

Instead, after putting Sasuke in the first cave she found, she turned to the entrance and summoned the last bit of her strength. Forcing the chakra to her hand, she smashed it into the ground, creating a sort of door from the rocks that still enabled her to make a fire if she needed to. It wasn't the ideal protection, but it was going to have to do.

With a sigh, she slumped to the rock wall as far away from Sasuke as she could manage without letting him out of her sight. What had he done to himself? And why?

She ran a hand over her face and let her body relax, inhaling and exhaling just as Tsunade had taught her. It would help replenish her chakra if she was calm and collected.

Even if she may have just ruined the mission by not having the strength to go after Tamaki. But the men had said they were after Sasuke, so why in the hell would they bother taking Tamaki? Why not just kill him?

She took another breath and shook her head. She couldn't be thinking about how she just failed her team. How she'd endangered everyone on her team by her own foolish antics that started the fight in the first place. They hadn't been attacking, so why had she gone up and killed that man? She didn't even recognize herself in those moments, but she'd been so furious about something, something she didn't understand.

It wasn't that he was insulting her because she was a woman, though that was sure to be part of it. There was something else just beyond her mental grasp that she couldn't understand!

The more she tried to relax, the more she found things bothering her. The faint stinging of the cuts she'd received from the kunai, the hard rock pressed into her back, the man laying helplessly in the cave with her.

How easy it would be to kill him now... to end her pain, to end the threat he was. Konoha would be free of him, they wouldn't have to worry about him ever betraying them again.

She shook her head again, trying to shake out those feelings. As easy as it would seem, she didn't think she had it in her to kill him. Even if he'd caused her so much pain when he left, even if he was doing it again without being aware of it... what else could she do other than deal with it on her own?

**xx**

Naruto couldn't let himself enjoy the scenery before him. The forest outside of Konoha was lush and green and yet all he could think about was the well-being of Sakura with Sasuke.

What if he hadn't meant what he said? What if his intentions weren't as he'd said.

Sure, he'd wanted to trust Sasuke. He'd finally returned and Naruto only wanted them to go back to the way things were. And yet he couldn't find it within himself to trust him around Sakura. She'd been so torn up over his departure, and he knew that even if she didn't want to admit it, things were still hard.

She was being forced to work _with _him, and unknowingly was his only hope of survival. A big burden that Tsunade had no real choice but to give to her. If only she knew about it...

"Naruto, is something wrong?" Hinata asked, looking up from his chest, her white eyes filled with concern.

He smiled and shook his head, laying back against the grass. "I've just got a lot on my mind." He whispered, his hand smoothing down her hair and moving to rest against her hip.

"About Sasuke?"

He smirked. Hinata always knew. Sometimes he felt like her Byakugan could see into his head if she needed it to. "The mission, yeah."

"Tsunade knows what she's doing." She said, trying her best to comfort him. "She wouldn't send the three of them out there with Sasuke if she thought they would be in danger."

Naruto ran a hand over his face. He knew she was right, but he couldn't get the possibility of Sasuke betraying them again out of his head. He'd done it before, so what was stopping him now? "When we were genin, we were always surprised by him. By his strength, and his mind. Back then it had been a good thing, he was on our side. But now... now I don't know."

He knew that as much as Hinata wanted to sympathize with him, she could only do so to a certain extent. She hadn't really known Sasuke back then, and her father prohibited it this time around, so she couldn't give him any words of comfort regarding Sasuke's personality.

But Naruto knew Sasuke, and he knew Sakura. If Sasuke was going to betray him again, she would either be so pissed off that she would try and kick his ass, or be heartbroken that he had beguiled them once again and not know what to do. If Sasuke did end up turning on them when Sakura was around he didn't want to take the chance that the latter would happen. He couldn't take that chance; not when it involved his best friend.

If Sasuke did turn on them... he couldn't hesitate to kill him. He couldn't give Sasuke another chance at this. Naruto had no doubt that Sasuke would target Konoha... and there were too many people he cared about to even think about sparing his life. If he went after the village... Naruto would fight him... and he would stop him. There was no other option.

He pulled Hinata against him, glad she had come with him to cloud watch. What would he do if someone like Hinata was suddenly gone from his life?

He would be heartbroken... just as Sakura was. He would finally understand the pain she had felt from losing someone she held so dear. But until that time... he would only be able to imagine the way Sakura had protected herself from the grief.

And as much as he didn't want her to go through something like that again... this time around would be different. Losing Sasuke for a second time would be much better than having so many civilians and friends murdered in his wake.

If the time came... if Sakura couldn't help him... Naruto would kill him.

**xx**

Sakura awoke with a start, and was immediately on the defensive. She found herself shaking as the harsh, unrelenting wind blew past her makeshift door and into the cave. She did a quick scout of the area outside the cave, making sure that no one was going to try and sneak up on her. Upon her return, she noted the ungodly temperature of the cave. If they were going to stay here she was definitely going to have to start making a fire.

A rush of panic ran over her and her medic instinct kicked in. If she was freezing, she could only imagine the state Sasuke was in. He'd lost so much blood and was already cold to begin with. But now, being exposed to the cold winds...

She all but ran over to him, relief flushing through her as she saw that he was breathing, but then another wave of panic as she saw the odd blue tinge his lips had taken. Cursing herself and her still depleted chakra stores, she racked her mind for a solution. She couldn't use her chakra to warm him, and she hadn't brought any extra clothes with her. If she covered him with her shirt, she would only freeze herself and be of no use to help him.

A fire would help, but it wouldn't warm him up fast enough and it would still be quite a distance away from him; not close enough to heat his body the way it needed to be.

She chewed on her lip, realizing that she had one other option, though it wasn't something she was very fond of. She would have to use her own body heat to warm him up in combination with the fire.

She rushed outside, gathering some sticks and reasonably dry grass before returning, dropping to the hard ground and readying the twigs to have the fire made. Tsunade had taught her a small fire jutsu for situations similar to this. She completed the hand signs, and smiled at the small fire approvingly before turning back to Sasuke.

Pausing, she took in his outfit. His shirt was torn into shreds from when she'd needed better access to his chest, leaving him mostly bear. That was where he would be the coldest. The transfer of heat would work better if it was skin on skin, but there was no way in hell she was going to get naked and cuddle up to him.

But she needed to have him warm up faster...

No. There was still no way she was going to do that.

Instead, she pulled him a little closer to the fire, covering him with one of the blankets from her bag and crawling underneath of it with him, pressing herself against his back and wrapping her arms around his torso.

If he hadn't been so much larger than her, she might have been doing a decent job. But her body didn't take up enough surface area to be of much use. However, she had to try.

It was... uncomfortable to say the least. For her. She'd spent so long telling herself that she didn't care about him, which was more or less true. Sometimes her hatred towards him outweighed the part that thought she cared, but in this position, it seemed that the part of her that wanted to love him again was overpowering.

She was so close to him, the closest she had ever been and it wasn't the way she ever imagined it would be. When she was twelve, she always imagined that he would be the one with his arms wrapped around her, whispering in her ear and kissing her and all of that other hopeless romantic shit.

But here, she was making sure he didn't die, wrapping her arms around him in the most unromantic way and wishing herself out of this position.

If twelve year old her could hear the thoughts running through her mind now. How uncomfortable this was, and how she would do anything just to have him warm up so she could evacuate the situation and go back to being a brooding woman and not a medic that was trying to save his life.

A medic that needed to bandage him up and make sure that his wounds weren't killing him. Sure, she'd put him in a stable enough condition, but there was still a lot she needed to do before she would say he was okay and in the recovery stage, but that was going to have to wait until she'd replenished most of her chakra.

At the moment, she just wanted to get through the night.

**xx**

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><p><em><strong>So, there are a lot of things that I'm not exactly happy about in this chapter.. things that I'm sure I could have improved on, but just couldn't find the right words, so.. I'M SORRY!<strong>_

_**I hope you guys still enjoyed the chapter anyways!**_

_Oh no! Those bastards took Tamaki! Wait.. what? the tea farmer? What the !#^%_

_Sakura thinks she's such a bad ass there. LOOOL._

_-Your Faithful Reviewer_

_**Chapter Eight **__**will be arriving shortly! Or not so shortly... it all depends! I'M SORRY AGAIN.**_

_**-EM**_


	8. For Some Reason

_**So, thanks for the reviews, again! They always make me happy! I hope you're still enjoying the story despite me not updating as often as I'd like. :/ It's the school, and the work, and it makes me a sad muffin D:**_

_**-EM**_

* * *

><p><em>"Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving."<em>

_-J.K Rowling_

**My Darkness: Chapter VIII**

**For Some Reason**

**xx**

She'd had the same nightmare again. It'd been the same thing for the past couple of weeks. Every night she would wake up, near tears and find herself unable to sleep again. However, in this case, it was morning.

Her nose had been pressed against Sasuke's back, one of her arms still draped over him from the night before, and she was very warm. Despite her body's disapproval at leaving such a warm spot, she couldn't force herself to remain in that position any longer. Not with the uncomfortable emotions that it had rushing through her body. Not to mention what Sasuke would do if he woke up with her like that. She shuddered at the very idea of him yelling at her and wondering how such a crazy person had ever been made Anbu.

It had been for his health, she reminded herself as she pushed herself away from him. She'd regained a little bit of her chakra from the sleep she'd had, and was ready for another short round of healing. She grimaced at her own injuries, but knew that she could put up with them for a while longer.

Sasuke, on the other hand, needed to be helped as soon as possible.

Sakura pushed the rags of his shirt aside, feeling the warmth as her chakra moved to her hands, glowing the familiar soft green as she pressed them to his chest. Most of his organs, even though it had only been one night, were beginning to heal themselves. She'd suspected that Kabuto had had something to do with this; using Sasuke as another one of his medical progression experiments. In this case, it seemed to have worked out in his favor.

All Shinobi had an accelerated healing rate compared to normal civilians, but Sasuke's was incredible. Some of the organs that she had left stable, but not completely healed had already started to bind itself together, mending the small cuts that Sakura had left.

She continued to watch and inspect his other organs in a state of awe. How had Kabuto done it?

Sakura paused, finding that she couldn't take her eyes off of his face. The way his lips were parted slightly, the slow rise and fall of his chest as he rested, the way his lashes contrasted against his light skin. Absentmindedly, she found her hand reaching up to brush a loose hair from his face, but she held herself back, shocked at what she'd almost done.

Sure, time had been kind to him; he was muscled and his face bordered on perfect, but there were always imperfections with people like that. And with Sasuke, it was his personality; his morals and his logic. How would anyone appreciate that face when he would only hurt them and betray them? He would be alone for the rest of his life and it would be his own fault.

It pained her to think about how many women he'd widowed while he was with Orochimaru. How many times had he killed without giving a second thought about their families. Yet Sakura had done that yesterday. She'd killed a man without even a hint of remorse, something that was so out of character it was almost painful to remember.

But Sasuke... he'd become even more emotionless and power hungry during his time there. And he _was _powerful. There was no doubt about that. She'd seen him decimating the men who'd tried to take him earlier. They hadn't stood a chance and they hadn't been some riff raff shinobi. They'd been trained, and specially organized, just to capture him.

And yet he'd been able to massacre most of them with a single swipe of his sword.

It frightened her, to say the least. Knowing that if he wanted, he could kill her with ease. She may have grown stronger as well, but she wouldn't be a match for that kind of strength.

She pulled her hands from his chest, pleased that all that remained of the battle was the blood that seemed to cover the majority of his body. In any normal circumstance, she would have cleaned her patient off, made sure that when he woke up he wasn't shocked at the amount of blood that was covering him. But this was anything but a normal circumstance. This was Sasuke, and she wouldn't be touching him any longer than she needed to.

Not to mention how enraged he would be if he woke up and found that she'd cleaned him. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of him being awake when she'd tried to warm him up. She wouldn't have been able to do it, not with him conscious. He would probably just assume that she was using any excuse she could to get close to him, which six years ago, she would have. But this was completely different. Even as she was wrapped around him like that, she hadn't felt anything other than a little revulsion at the fact that she was trying to save the life of the man who had betrayed her and basically snapped her heart into two pieces, regardless of the fact that he'd just saved her life.

One good deed wasn't enough to earn her forgiveness.

Even though she found herself not wanting to touch him, it didn't stop her eyes from lingering on his chest. It was covered in thin, white lines that she recognized as scars. So many of them that it didn't seem like there was a completely smooth part to his chest at all. It made her wonder where they'd all come from. Each one had its own story, she assumed, and it made her curious. Sasuke had probably been in so many battles that even if she asked him he wouldn't have known.

And she found her hand once again twitching uncomfortable at her side, wanting to run her fingers over them and-

No.

She hastily covered his chest with the blanket and pressed herself against the hard wall of the cave. Stupid hormones. There was nothing left she could do but wait until he woke up. How fun would that be.

She let out a sigh and ran a hand over her face. Kiba and Sai would have caught up to that man by now. They would have saved Tamaki. Would they come back to her first? Or would the escort Tamaki the rest of the way home and make sure that he was safe. The poor guy was probably shaken up; getting kidnapped for no god damn reason. Unless they were wanting to try and use him as leverage. It might have just worked if the ninja hadn't run away with him. Sure, she would give up Sasuke to save the mission; he was a big boy, he could handle himself. But Tamaki... Tamaki needed their help.

She looked back to Sasuke and could almost feel the healing energy radiating off of him. His chakra signal was stronger now, which was an excellent sign and she imagined that his freaky regeneration rate was taking care of the rest of him.

The question still ran through her mind over and over again. Why did he save her? Sakura knew that if she asked him he would come up with some completely reasonably explanation but until then her mind was running through the endless possibilities. But without the reason, another question was with her. Why not pull her out of the way? Why not throw a hell of a lot of weapons back, why not do this or that, why did he have to throw himself in front of her?

Fucking bastard.

There was something not right about this entire thing.

She smiled weakly as she remembered their very first mission as Team 7. Their supposedly simple escort mission had turned into something more as well, a hell of a lot similar to this one. A strike of fate it seemed. If only Naruto were here as well. Naruto would have been keeping his eye on her during that entire fight; he wouldn't have let anything happen to her.

But Sasuke hadn't let her get hurt either.

Naruto wouldn't have even let her get into that situation though, that was the difference. Kiba and Sai shouldn't have let that happen either, and she wondered what was going through their minds when they saw that Sasuke had protected her. Hell, she couldn't even remember. It was only yesterday and it seemed like nothing more than a blur.

What had he been thinking?

Actually, she didn't really want to know. And she didn't want him to wake up either. She could only imagine the stimulating conversation they would have followed by a long and terrible awkward silence. Sakura still didn't really know how to act around him. It was weird, having this shell of her teammate back.

Not really him, but his body and mind, even if they were considerably different since the last time she'd encountered them.

When he stirred, she found herself backing away from him, unsure of what to do. Would she yell at him? Knock him out?

But instead of waking up, a grimace enveloped his face and his previously peaceful face was set in a frown. Did that mean he was awake or did he normally look that pissed off in his sleep? It made sense that he would be starting to regain consciousness now, as much as she wished that his recuperation rate was normal, it wasn't.

Would they stay here and wait until Sai and Kiba came for them? Was she supposed to return to the village with him? But she didn't feel comfortable travelling with just him. If he tried something... he could kill her without even thinking about it. It wasn't that she was just going to sit back and do nothing; she would put up a hell of a fight but she knew she wasn't as strong as him... not yet.

Her mind wouldn't drift from the moment Tamaki was taken. It was embarrassing to say the least. They left her with one thing to do; protect the tea farmer, and she couldn't even do that. She'd humiliated herself in front of Sasuke... he would think she was still weak, even if she knew that she was exactly the opposite. Just because he liked to sit on his high and mighty horse thinking everyone was beneath him didn't mean that she hadn't grown.

**xx**

At least this time Tsunade was holding a more casual meeting as opposed to the intense ones she'd seemed to like lately. Naruto sat with Kakashi as the two older shinobi talked about menial things; the weather, the progress of some of the genin and those in the academy.

He wondered how long it had been since Sakura and Sasuke's mission started. A few days already, right? With two Anbu Captains and Sai there was no way the mission could go wrong. It was Sasuke that everyone had to worry about, but Naruto knew that they would be able to whoop his ass into the shape they needed. He had to work with the team and not on his own, something that he knew would be difficult for the Uchiha.

"Naruto, focus." Tsunade said, resisting the urge to smack him upside the head. He always zoned out when she was trying to tell him something important. When she was sated with his attention, she restarted her story. "As I was saying, we sent a group to Kirigakure."

"To scout." Naruto said, waving his hand in dismissal. "I know, I know."

Kakashi sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Sometimes I wonder about you." Naruto sent him a confused glance, but covered his confusion with a lackluster grin.

Tsunade interrupted them with a cough, sending the two men sharp glares. "The group sent us information from some surrounding villages that had been attacked. The Shinobi there said that they monitored the men and found them travelling closer to Kumogakure."

That got Naruto's attention. Sakura was heading to Kumogakure. If there were dangerous unmarked ninja there...

"Is Yamato's group following them there?" Kakashi asked calmly, his expression hidden by the mask.

The Hokage nodded, resting her chin on her hands. "The only problem is, the Kirigakure shinobi also explained that there was more than just the one group. They were attacking simultaneously at different villages on the outskirts of the Kirigakure. And they aren't some weak group. They've already wiped out a large amount of Kirigakure's forces."

"Unmarked ninja. And it couldn't be Akatsuki?" Naruto didn't care who it was. If they were headed to Kumogakure to kill more people, they had to be stopped.

"When do we leave?" He asked hurriedly. Why else would Tsunade bother to tell them about it?

Tsunade let out another sigh, ignoring Naruto's comment. "It's still a possibility. Yamato and his group came into contact with them once, but just a small number. He said that none of them bore the Akatsuki colors, but they could be instructing the men from the background."

"Then we're going to stop them?" Naruto continued, planning on pestering the woman until she gave him an answer.

"You're going to support Yamato's group. I don't want them wandering into an ambush." She dropped her hands and busied herself with more paperwork. "The plan was to have you guys leave in two days, but the sooner the better. Yamato said that they were hot on their trail."

"Tomorrow, then?" Kakashi suggested.

"In the morning."

Naruto didn't care when either. He wanted to protect people, and knowing that Sakura was in danger spurred him into action as well. They promised each other that they would look out for one another. What kind of man would he be if he stayed in Konoha while he knew she was in danger.

And Sasuke... even if he didn't want to believe it, Naruto didn't trust him with Sakura's life yet, not completely. Yes, he was friendly because he really did want to have the relationship they'd had before. For the most part, they did. He would talk, small syllables of course, and when his guards allowed it, they would even spar. But Sasuke still hadn't earned his complete trust yet. It wasn't the same as before, close, but not there yet.

Something about the mission they were going on was bothering him though. What were so many organized ninja doing attacking Kirigakure. And getting through their defenses as well. Anyone who knew anything about that village understood that breaking through the gates was no easy feat.

And the fact that Akatsuki could be behind it made him wonder what their plans were. They always seemed to be screwing things up, causing distractions and wreaking havoc on villages just because they were bored. But for them to amass such a large group of skilled shinobi made Naruto think that there was something bigger planned. Something that would take them all by surprise.

**xx**

Snow.

The storm hit out of nowhere just before nightfall, beginning with a few soft flakes and suddenly turning into sheets of snow plummeting down, interspersed with sleet and hail. Even with the fire still blazing constantly in the cave, the temperature was dropping around them. It seemed that the only way to stay warm was to sit in the damn fire.

Sakura hadn't planned for a snowstorm; it usually didn't snow for another month and a half at least, so she didn't think to bring any warmer clothes. It was fall still for crying out loud! The change of clothes she did bring though, she had spread over Sasuke's still form.

At least she could warm herself up with some chakra, but Sasuke was helpless in his current state, and she'd come this far in keeping him alive, there was no use letting all of her efforts go to waste now. Even if she was feeling a little cold, there was no way she was going to crawl under those blankets and clothes next to him.

Once had been more than enough.

But even with the makeshift door she'd produced, the wind was still finding its way into the cave and mercilessly beating against her body and the fire, threatening to extinguish the heat she'd created. Cuddling up next to him was beginning to sound like a better and better idea, but she refrained from embarrassing herself. She wouldn't risk him coming to his sense with her tangled around him like some crazy stalker. The first time had been lucky enough.

She ran a hand over her face, continuing to let the chakra warm her body. She wouldn't be able to keep the constant flow forever, sooner or later she was going to have to rest and let herself rejuvenate. This situation would only bring trouble. If she wasn't feeling awkward enough being alone with Sasuke while he was passed out, the weather just made it ten times worse. Now there was no chance of them leaving even if he did wake up.

Sakura turned to her bag, trying to remember how much food she'd packed. Enough for a couple of days, and she'd barely touched any of it. Unless the snow storm wanted to be an asshole and last for more than a week they would be able to survive. Water wouldn't be a problem; scoop some snow up in the canteen and use some chakra to heat it up, easy peasy.

So really, the situation was manageable, it was the company that she wasn't too excited about. Or the temperature.

Her eyes slid to Sasuke again, watching the rise and fall of his chest, making sure that nothing was abnormal with the weather. She couldn't help it that the medic side of her wanted to make sure everything was working okay. She took comfort in the idea of knowing that she could watch him without the fear of him catching her. She wasn't watching him with longing, not anymore. Now she watched him with curiosity, wondering how much he'd changed since he left Konoha. How much he'd changed.. and how he'd changed. Most likely for the worse, at least in her opinion.

Yes, he'd gained power, but at what price? He betrayed his village, isolated himself so he could focus on training, ran to get the help of a man who he knew wanted nothing more than to take over his body. What kind of person did that? What had he been thinking...

Sakura wanted to know what his motives were for leaving, and for protecting her. Maybe he'd thought she was too weak to defend herself, or maybe it was the fact that no matter how hard Sasuke tried, he would never be able to break the bonds that he'd had back in Konoha. Even after six years, he and Naruto had picked up exactly where they'd left off. But Sakura felt like she wouldn't be able to return to the way she'd been before even if she wanted to.

He'd hurt her so badly.

It wasn't that he'd left her, she'd always known that he never returned her feelings. It wasn't even that he'd gone to avenge his family. It was the fact that he'd left without giving Konoha a chance to help him. She and Naruto would have been willing to help him with his revenge. Hell, there were probably a lot of people that would have helped him if he'd stayed. But instead he left with the man that killed the Third Hokage. Apparently that sent a sign to Sasuke that Orochimaru was the man he needed to train under. Sure, he was powerful, but he was evil! He was Konoha's greatest adversary and still Sasuke chose to follow in his footsteps.

She sighed, taking a deep breath and feeling her chakra warm herself all the way down to her toes. She was already starting to feel drained though, if she wanted to keep this up for a while, she was going to have to ration out the heat into greater intervals. She wondered if she should be sharing some of her chakra with Sasuke. It wasn't right to rely on watching his breathing patterns to make sure that he was at a normal temperature.

Hesitantly, she inched towards him. The medic in her wanted to make sure he was okay, but the girl in her that had her heart broken by this boy wanted nothing more than to watch him freeze. Even if she wanted to see him suffer like he'd made her suffer, there was a small part of her old self rising in her chest. The part that wanted to make sure he was okay because they were a team. That part combined with the medic part weighed out the sadistic part, and she found her hand moving to his face, ready to give him some warming chakra.

She felt her breath catch involuntarily in her throat as her fingers made contact with his skin, letting her chakra through his own body, sending a more natural color to his skin and letting his breathing stop shaking. She realized now that his breathing patterns from far away were misleading. From a distance she couldn't tell that his breaths were more like shudders. But still, she didn't want to be close to him. She wanted to make sure he was alive, but being this close and having her hands against his skin made her want to run in the other direction.

Because touching him again was making her want to cry, the memories of their youth rising to the surface and threatening to bubble over.

Why did he have to come back and ruin everything? Ruin the emotional barrier she'd created by stirring up the old ones she'd been trying to suppress. Ruin everything she spent six years building. She spent so much time telling herself that she was over him, and anything uttered enough could become the truth. Eventually, she realized that she despised him and everything he was. A betrayer, a deserter.

Now she felt like all of that anger was being questioned, and she didn't have the guts for that.

For some reason, she wanted him alive so she could see his growth. For some reason, she wanted him to regain his status in Konoha. But at the same time, she still didn't want anything to do with him. She wanted to be nothing more than a spectator, watching him from a distance and having no part in the way his life played up. Because the memories were still to painful to deal with.

With a deep breath, she moved herself back against the cold wall of the cave, trying to calm herself down. Too many emotions all at once. She would have to stay awake then, monitoring Sasuke and herself. She'd gone without sleep quite often with some of the shifts she worked at the hospital. Granted, it hadn't been in the freezing cold with someone she... hated.

Yes, she still hated him. Emotions were a pain in the ass but that one word was something that she could still identify with him. The list of reasons she hated him was too long to ignore, and so it drowned out any other feelings she was overwhelmed with. With another breath, she prepared herself for what promised to be a very long night.

**xx**

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><p><strong><em>Another chapter! Once again, reviews are very, VERY, welcome. Just... hint hint. <em>**

**_To those that are reviewing, I thank you so much! All of the positive feedback is really nice for the ego, which makes me feel like I should update faster. Muaha._**

****_Damn Sasuke and the damn weather. And also, __damn the brats running around Kirigakure thinking they're all pro. Time to send some Naruto/Kakashi kick ass their way :D_

_-Your Faithful Reviewer_

_**Just a side note. I'm going away for a week starting on Thursday. And, unfortunately I'm not confident in my speedy writing skills to promise that I'll have another chapter up by then but who knows! Maybe, maybe not :(**_

_**ENJOY LE HISTOIRE!**_

_**-EM**_


	9. Conflicting Emotions

_**I apologize for the delay. But, if any of you care my little vacation was fantastic! It was a nice little break from my already hectic school/work life! So, I'm not dead; overdosed on the sheer awesomeness of having time away, maybe. I AM ALIVE AND READY TO UPDATE. PREPARE YOURSELF.**_

**_But thank you for the reviews and I hope you're still enjoying the story!_**

**_-EM_**

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><p><em>"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, <em>

_but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."_

_-Anonymous_

**My Darkness: Chapter IX**

**Conflicting Emotions**

**xx**

He'd been awake that night.

And with Sakura wrapped around him he hadn't found himself being able to find any measure of sleep.

She made him feel uncomfortable because he found himself enjoying the warmth that her body provided. Be that because of his low body temperature or not he wasn't sure. He stared at the wall of the cave until he felt her stirring, instantly forcing himself into a sleep-like state. He lowered his chakra signal, slowed his breathing, and stayed as still as he possibly could.

Even as she touched him, her soothing chakra flowing through his body from her fingertips, it took a lot of restraint to keep his breathing steady and chakra masked.

Why was he letting someone have that affect on him? He could have avoided the entire situation if he hadn't protected her. But when he saw her in danger... there was a deep instinctual urge within him that told him to protect her; to make sure that Sakura didn't get hurt. It was a feeling, among a sea of others, that he didn't understand.

Those feelings seemed to accompany her. Every time they were near each other he would get the same wash of protectiveness telling him to make sure that she was okay. His earlier declaration to Naruto about Sakura being nothing more than a member of the team didn't seem to fit anymore.

If it had been Kiba or Sai in her position, he had no doubt that he wouldn't have batted an eyelash. Because they weren't _her. _They weren't Sakura.

But if she wasn't just another person on the squad to him then what was she? His mind was still telling him that she was going to cause nothing but trouble for the things he was trying to achieve with Konoha, but another part of him was urging him closer to her; wanting to be near her, relishing in the closeness that she provided him on that night.

As he watched her sleeping now, he found the same draw. The one that wanted to reach out and brush the strands covering her face away. The one that wanted to cover her in the blankets as she had to him and make sure that she was warm enough. But there was no way he would ever do those things. Even if those feelings were inside of him, he'd always taken a sort of pride to people not knowing what he was thinking. He liked being unpredictable.

Then again, covering her with the blanket would be very unpredictable. She wouldn't expect it. It would throw her off guard.

So that's exactly what he did.

He ignored the feelings as his fingers came in contact with the smooth skin of her arm and took a step back, his eyes focused on her face. He hadn't seen that peaceful look on her since their missions as genin. The only looks he'd received since his return had been cold glares and narrowed eyes. But now she looked almost happy, albeit a little frustrated, as the small crease above her brow indicated.

Was it frustration, or was it... sadness?

It was her dream, he concluded. He knew how haunting dreams could be, and how they could ruin an entire day if they were powerful enough. He remembered all too well the nightmare of his family's massacre. How painful it had been to relive that every time he closed his eyes. Maybe it was a dream like that; something painful for her to retain.

Or maybe she was just tired. She'd exhausted her chakra trying to heal him the first time, and then almost depleted it again while she was trying to keep his temperature warm. He should have done it himself, but he didn't want her thinking he was awake. He didn't want to deal with the endless questions she would give him about how he was feeling. He knew they would come eventually, but things would be easier if she was sleeping and he was awake.

So he waited.

**xx**

Those who had never gone without sleep for twenty four hours didn't understand how hard it was to maintain consciousness when one was low on chakra and trying to keep tabs on ones own body and also someone recovering from injuries that would have killed him. Accelerated regeneration rate or not, it was still hard.

Sakura had succumbed to the desires of her tired body at some point, falling asleep without even realizing what she'd been doing. It wasn't a long time, as her still low chakra stores proved, but it was enough to keep herself and Sasuke warm.

With a sigh, she glanced to where he was lying, her eyes widening in nothing more than shock was she realized he was gone.

"Did you sleep long?"

Her eyes flitted to him in surprise. He was standing by the mouth of the cave, nothing more than his silhouette visible. She could only tell that his arms were crossed over his chest and his back was to her.

"I-"

"You'll be useless if you aren't rested."

She found herself clenching her jaw, wanting to sock him in the side of the head. Why did he _always _have control of the situation? Even after being passed out for just over two days, he was still able to wake up and tell her what she should be doing. No! She'd been taking care of him for that time, making sure the bastard didn't freeze to death and he was going to demand that she rest? She would rest if she damn well wanted to, not because he told her to.

"I'm fine." Sakura muttered, her eyes landing on the extinguished fire. It must have gone out while she was sleeping. She started to stand up, startled by the blanket that was resting on her legs. When-?

Her eyes softened slightly as they landed on his back again. Had he put it on her?

"I don't want to have to protect you all the time. Rest." That was a lie. Even if he didn't _want_ to want to, his body did.

"I'm not a little kid anymore! I can take care of myself!" She felt some rage boiling up in the pit of her belly, ready to pack a hard punch to the side of his head when she got the chance.

"Clearly." Even his tone was mocking her, and it took the majority of her self-restraint not to march over there and deck him. Once again, she mulled over the different shades of bruises that she could mark him with. If he didn't want to deal with her as some kind of excess cargo, then why the hell had he protected her? What were his reasons if all he was going to do was criticize her?

"You're still a jackass, even after I saved your life."

He turned around then, his brows furrowed angrily together. "After you saved _my _life?"

"Yes!" She yelled back at him, not letting him startle her with the loudness of his voice.

"You wouldn't have needed to heal me if I hadn't had to protect _you_!" He shouted, startling her for barely a second before she returned his angry.

"You didn't have to!" Sakura retorted, her fury clearly showing through her tone.

"Yes, I did!"

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him "I never asked for your help!"

"Would you rather be dead?" He snarled, looking at her like she was nothing more than a pest to him, which she figured she was. At least in this situation. He was healed now; he didn't need her for much more than that.

"If that was the alternative to owing you some kind of favor then yes!" She snarled.

"I didn't do it for a favor."

"Then why the hell did you do it, Sasuke? Because I don't know what the hell you're thinking anymore." Sakura never realized that she had it in her to yell so much. She'd never yelled at anyone; at least not like this. Yeah, Naruto saw her ugly side more than others, but it was never meant to hurt him, it was meant to teach him a lesson.

"You never did." Sasuke snapped.

"That's because you wouldn't _tell _me anything!"

He shook his head, taking a few pissed off strides toward her until she had nowhere to run. "And what gives you the idea that I should have shared anything with you? You were an annoying pest!"

If the words hurt her, she didn't show them. Instead she infused the little chakra she had left into her hands and shoved against his chest, pushing him back at least ten feet. "Then you should have told Naruto! We were your teammates! You were supposed to trust us!"

"I don't trust anyone!"

"And that's your problem! You're going to be alone for the rest of your life because you won't let anyone close to you. The second you think that someone is getting too friendly, you push them away before they can hurt you the way your brother did. You didn't want to be betrayed again, and yet that's exactly what you did to Naruto! That's what you did to everyone in Konoha!" _To me_. She thought absentmindedly.

Sasuke's face darkened, and for a moment Sakura thought she saw true fury on his face. She wouldn't back down now though, she was too proud. "Don't talk about my brother. You have _no _idea what he did. No idea the things he made me sacrifice."

She hesitated, the air around her suddenly making her airway feel tight. The second she didn't respond right away, he turned to leave, marching straight for the mouth of the cave. "I'm getting out of here." He hissed.

"Oh yeah? And where are you going to go?" Sakura challenged. It was still snowing outside, there was no way he was going to make it back to Konoha in those conditions, especially not with those clothes.

"Away from you!" He yelled again before leaving her in the cave by herself.

She wasn't surprised... not really. It was more like the sensation of feeling a little bit lighter. She'd wanted to tell Sasuke what she was thinking for a long time and just hadn't had the guts to really let loose and yell. It had been six years of pent up fury for him leaving, and she was finally able to release it. So in short... she was relieved.

As much as she didn't want to be near him either, she wondered if she should follow after him and make sure that he didn't do anything stupid and reckless. If he went on some killing rampage the blood would be on her hands.

Their argument made her laugh, to be honest. They'd spent so much time not talking to each other, then gradually increasing to one syllable words or even just looks. And the first time they actually have some semblance of a conversation it's a fight.

But seriously; she'd spent so much energy trying to save his life and he didn't even want to give her a thank-you? A nod of appreciation? Instead he has to storm out all pissed off at life and her.

_Tch._

Who needed him anyways. Konoha sure didn't; if anything he was just a nuisance. She sure as hell didn't; he was a betraying asshole. No one needed him here. No one _wanted _him! Not with that attitude.

It was just like she'd told him. If he didn't stop pushing people away he was going to end up alone for the rest of his life, and no one would be able to help him through that; not even Naruto, despite how much he might want to try. Despite every bit of knowledge she'd gained, despite all of the things she'd learned about Sasuke, and despite the sane fibers of her mind...

She wanted to help him anyways.

It was an emotion that she couldn't explain any better than if she tried to explain why the sky was blue. Or why there was air around them or why the ocean was salty. It was just... there. An anomaly that couldn't be dissected and described.

Maybe it was because they were old teammates and some part of her wanted to see him back on his feet with people that cared about him. It didn't matter if he thought it was all lost because she would help him find it again. That's what teammates did. They _ helped_ eachother. But then, like a cold slap in the face she remembered why the greater part of her hated him. Bastard.

She decided that following would probably only make matters worse. What would he do? Return to Konoha and explain to the guards that he got in a little spat with his team and that's why they weren't with him? No. He wouldn't be able to go back without herself, Kiba, and Sai.

He would have to venture back here eventually, after he'd blown off some steam.

Again, her mind wandered to Kiba and Sai. They should have been back by now. It was only one guy, and with Kiba's nose and Sai's paintings they should have been able to find Tamaki in no time. What was taking so long?

Without her permission, and against what she wanted to do, she found herself drifting off to sleep. Her mind was muddled with angry thoughts regarding Sasuke and worried thoughts about her other teammates; it was a miracle her mind had found some vacant window to let sleep in.

**xx**

It was freezing, but that wasn't what bothered him. It was that the frigid temperature and wind were annoying. Continuously whipping against his skin, like a wave crashing against the rocks, like Sakura eroding his calm exterior. There was only so much of it he could take before he snapped.

It's exactly what she was doing. She was wearing him thin, slowly but surely, after every word that spouted from her mouth. He didn't know why, and he didn't like it. The big question mark that he associated with her was more than likely one of the reasons he'd found himself trying to distance himself. She represented too many unsure endings; she was a wild card that he didn't want to have to deal with.

Though he had an idea that she thought the same of him.

He knew that she had every right to yell at him, at the very least for leaving; he'd never received the brunt of her hatred from that and expected it to last a lot longer than one measly argument. Berating him over leaving he could take, but one mention of his brother and he lost it.

There were so many things about Itachi that she didn't know... that no one knew. The reasons for his return to Konoha lay buried deep within his brothers legacy. It was his duty to his family, to Itachi, that he go through with it.

He cringed at the thought of his family. Every single day he was painfully reminded of everything that was now gone. There was a feeling of immense sadness that ate him up from the inside whenever he thought of them. The feeling intensified whenever those thoughts focused on his brother and the unfortunate fate that had followed him through his short life. Even now, he struggled to accept everything as just a part of old memories, but obviously, it wasn't that easy. He desperately wanted to accomplish his because he was dreadfully aware that if he tortured himself for much longer, nothing good would come out of it.

And yet, along with the very idea of Sakura, there were still so many questions that he needed the answers to. Questions that were being withheld from him until the proper time, apparently. It was something he didn't understand, but a luxury that he didn't have time to dwell on. He needed to get his job done as soon as possible.

However, this mission was proving to be a problem. How bad would it look that the first mission he was sent on ended in disaster. Though none of it had been his fault, Tsunade didn't know that. It was suspicious. Easing back into Konoha would be hard, but set backs like this would only make things more difficult.

The cold wind regained his focus, and he found the weather becoming an unbearable irritant, much like the kunoichi still in the cave. He moved his chakra through his body, but even that act didn't seem to ease the physical pain the wind was starting to cause him. It burned, whipping relentlessly against his skin.

He was tough, but no one could beat the weather. No one could fight against the wind.

Except Naruto, from what he'd heard. Naruto had excelled in his techniques; more than Sasuke would have expected and it irritated him. There was no way that such an idiot could be getting closer to Sasuke's level. He was still immature and rash, things that would be his weak points in a battle. If someone he loved was in danger he would do anything to protect them. He would give his life to save them.

It was foolish.

Still, if he had progressed as much as people said; if he really was valued as some kind of hero in Konoha, then it only made sense that he would want to fight him, just to ensure that he was stronger. That if he wanted to, he could take Naruto out without a second thought.

If he needed to kill Naruto to accomplish his next goal, he would. In fact, if he needed to kill Sakura...

He would.

**xx**

When she woke up, she found the fire was ablaze in front of her, and Sasuke was sitting on the other side of it, his lips in a grim line. He looked pissed, but what else was really new with him. If she didn't know any better, she would have just thought it was his regular expression. But no, his brows were furrowed slightly and his eyes carried a more hostile edge to them.

He was still mad at her.

Talking to him would be no use, so instead she remained on her side, watching the flames flicker and listening to the sharp cracks that the fire created. It was funny to remember how talkative she used to be around him. How she would blabber on in random conversation that probably didn't even make sense to her. It was all so she could be near him, using mindless conversation as her excuse. Even if he didn't respond, it had been enough for her genin self. It didn't matter than he most likely wasn't listening either because he was _there_.

Now though, she didn't care to talk to him. She didn't even want to be stuck with him while they waited out the snow but here she was, secluded with a prick. Though she was a little bit proud to know that she'd been right. He had to come back, something that probably pissed him off to no end. A small victory on her part, but not enough.

All she wanted was to go home now; to be comforted by her welcoming bed and sleep until her body felt like it was time to get up and move. She wanted her best friend to bash on Sasuke with her. She wanted Sai and Kiba to return with Tamaki so she wouldn't feel like she'd failed. If they brought him back than it would be fixed... but if they didn't... she would feel devastated. Why hadn't she been more aware. Why hadn't she moved out of the way of those fucking weapons. She was stronger than that; faster than that. And yet she'd let their main target get kidnapped by some anonymous ninja.

Tsunade would be ashamed of her.

Hell, she was ashamed of herself. What kind of Anbu Captain was she now? A failure? She broke all of the promises she made to herself when she started out. She promised that she would be strong no matter what, promised that she would never have herself fail a mission, promised to never let herself sit around when there was something to be done!

Even if their current situation in the cave couldn't have been avoided, it was still annoying. She hadn't sat still and done nothing in such a long time, at least not of her own free will. Her brief restriction from missions had been tedious enough, but at least then she'd had the hospital to tend to. Now she was stuck with nothing, her teammates fighting to regain the charge that she'd lost. Because of Sasuke!

She decided that this was entirely his fault. If he hadn't returned to Konoha; if he hadn't been sent on this mission with her; if she hadn't been distracted by him... But she hadn't been looking at him. She was focused on the weapons, so blaming him would get her nowhere.

Damnit.

"It's letting up." She cringed at the sound of his voice, sending him a glare through the fire. If he was still mad at her then she had every right to be mad at him.

"Good." Fucking awesome. Because another minute spent with him in the cave would probably shatter any sense of sanity she had left. She couldn't be left with her thoughts for a long period of time like that. It wasn't healthy.

By the looks of the flakes outside of their cave, they would be able to leave in an hour at the most. She found it hard to hide the relief she was feeling, though thoughts of Kiba and Sai still made her hesitate to leave. Were they going to return to Konoha? Or would they go after Kiba and Sai and make sure everything was okay.

The latter was the obvious choice to her; it was Sasuke she was worried about. She didn't think he really cared about his team, but the success of the mission did matter to him. Maybe persuading him wouldn't be that difficult. However, persuading required actually talking to him.

Stupid jackass fucking bastard.

**xx**

_And when we meet  
><em>_Which I'm sure we will  
><em>_All that was there  
><em>_Will be there still  
><em>_I'll let it pass  
><em>_And hold my tongue  
><em>_And you will think  
><em>_That I've moved on..._

_-Dido_

**xx**

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><p><strong><em>Yay! I'm glad I got it up. Sorry for the long wait though!<em>**

_Things are improving!  
><em>_They finally get to leave!  
>Finally some action ensuing!<em>

_-Your Faithful Reviewer_

_**I hope you enjoyed it, and I will try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible. And yes, faithful reviewer, I intend to have some things actually happen. The real mystery is... what will it be? Oh hohohoho.**_

_**My attempt at a little bit of suspense :3**_

_**-EM**_


	10. Taking Risks

_**Thanks for your continued support! I'm almost at 100 reviews which makes me very very excited! Well. Not almost at one hundred. But if you guys left me around twenty reviews then I would be! AND IT WOULD MAKE ME VERY HAPPY HAPPY INDEED!**_

_**-EM**_

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><p><em>"The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing.<br>__He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live."_

_-Leo F. Buscaglia_

**My Darkness: Chapter X**

**Taking Risks**

**xx**

Pakkun found them before they could start after Kiba and Sai. He said that the two of them had returned to Konoha, but when Sakura asked if they had Tamaki with him, Pakkun gave a short shake of his head. Sakura felt like running herself off of a cliff.

Tamaki was lost, probably dead and she had no idea where to look for him. But if she had some idea... if there was still a chance that he was alive... then she had to go after him. It was the right thing to do. This was her mistake, and she was going to have to fix it.

Would she go at it on her own then? Though it seemed illogical, she knew that if she brought something with her, she would only feel ashamed that they had to help her clean up what she'd screwed up. No, she had to do it alone. The only thing that scared her was how easily she'd been overcome. If she went in by herself again... things could go badly.

No.

She was much stronger than them. She'd just been caught off guard. Hell, she could level a town with her strength; create a crater the size of the moon in the ground. She could take some cocky bastards that took her tea farmer.

When they arrived at the gates of Konoha she hesitated, knowing what she had to do. She had to go to her place, grab some food and restock her weapons and then leave again. She had to find Tamaki.

"You're going to have to go to the Hokage." She said, starting to walk again. "Tell her what happened."

"And where do you think you're going?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her before stepping in her path. With a glare, she tried to walk past him, frustrated when he stepped in her way again.

"I'm going after those men." She said shortly. Sakura started to walk past him for a second time, and he caught her arm. Even through the wraps, his touch sent shock waves through her body.

Those dark eyes narrowed slightly at her words and he leaned in closer. "I'm going with you."

"I don't need your help."

"You'll need all the help you can get."

"No." Sakura broke his hold and straightened herself up.

He moved and blocked her way again. She could almost feel some sort of animal intensity radiating off of him. "Forget how much you hate me and think about what's best for the mission. What's best for Tamaki. I'm going with you."

Sakura frowned, realizing that he had a point about what was in Tamaki's best interests, but his attitude bothered her. "What, you think you can make something happen just by telling me it will? You're not coming with me, so get over it."

"There's nothing to get over. If you're in danger I'll need to protect you. I'm going to be there." Sakura felt an unwanted pain in her chest at his words. What, ever since their first mission he was he sworn guardian? Was he going to follow her around and make sure nothing ever happened to her? It was insulting to say the least, but something else found it flattering that he wanted to defend her.

And what happened to him being pissed off at her? Did he have a bipolar disorder now?

He seemed to notice the ways she faltered after his words; the way her tough demeanor faded and she let her eyes soften as she looked at him. She wanted him there. Some part of her wanted him there as a source of protection but she didn't want to give in.

Sakura walked past him without another word, back to the village and to the safety of her home. That ache in her chest, the one that she felt every time Sasuke showed some emotion burned steadily the entire time. Her mind drifted back to his betrayal. She'd hated him and what he'd done, yet there was some part of her that wanted to fix it. To slap a bandage on it and pretend it never happened. But that wasn't possible, she didn't know how to fix it, and she didn't know how she was ever going to forgive Sasuke.

But if they were going to be stuck in the same situation they had in the cave; when there was no words, only a silently brewing hatred between them she didn't want to have to deal with it. She needed to be able to focus on saving Tamaki, not having to focus on how to handle Sasuke. Especially not if he was going to be spouting crap about having to protect her all the time. Her ego wasn't that big to begin with, but him making her sound like a weak little genin didn't exactly inflate it.

If he was going to come, they needed to be a strong team; they needed to know what the other was thinking in the situations they would be faced with. She may think she could take them on her own, but she knew his help would be appreciated. It would benefit Tamaki to have more than just her protecting him once they found him. For all they knew the man had taken the tea farmer to some base and they were going to have to break him out.

But everything about him was a risk. He was dangerous and she didn't know how he worked yet. How was she supposed to work with him again if she didn't even know what he was thinking half the time? It had been so long since they'd actually fought together side by side. She'd been protecting Tamaki - not very well - when Sasuke had fought earlier, so she hadn't even had a chance to learn anything there.

She shoved some more provisions in her bag and threw more weapons into her pouch, taking the katana that she was obligated to use as well. She didn't know when she would ever have a use for it, but it seemed the more weapons she had for this mission the better.

Sakura wondered what Tsunade would do when she found out about this. She would be furious, no doubt. There would be yelling and anger, probably some projectiles. But Sakura couldn't let her mentor down like that. Tsunade sent her on an easy mission and she failed. An Anbu Captain failed a stupid escort mission. It was disgrace. She wouldn't be able to keep her title if she didn't get Tamaki back.

She traced the tattoo on her arm. She earned it. So why hadn't she proven that then?

Slinging the small bag over her shoulder, she started walking outside. If Sasuke was there, then he was there. She wasn't going to seek him out just to ask to go with her. If he wanted to protect her so badly then he would pay attention to when she was leaving.

Before she could get to the gates though, she realized that she had one small problem. She had no idea where to even start to look for this guy. She could go back to the spot where Tamaki was taken, but if Kiba and Sai hadn't found him when they followed him right away, how the hell was she supposed to find him?

So she went to Kiba first, hoping that he would be able to give her some insight on where to look.

"You're back!" He said, jogging to her side when she entered the Inuzuka compound.

"Yeah, we made it."

He squinted a little, peering to the empty road behind her. "And Sasuke?"

"What kind of medic do you think I am?" Sakura muttered, smirking at him and sneaking around him to plop herself on one of the benches.

"Did you talk to the Hokage?" When she avoided his eyes, he knew something was up. Sakura was one of the most dutiful people he'd met, and it wasn't like her to not report back to Tsunade. "Sakura." He said, narrowing his eyes.

"The thing is... my mission isn't done yet."

"What are you talking about?" Kiba asked incredulously.

She huffed, running a hand through her hair. He would understand, he knew what a screw up it had been. If it had been him in her situation he would have done exactly the same thing. "I have to save Tamaki."

"Damnit, Sakura!"

"It's my fault he's gone, Kiba! I have to get him back!"

He sat down on the bench across from her and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's why you came here." He stated. "You want me to tell you where we left off."

"Please, Kiba."

"Tell me you're not planning to go alone."

She considered telling him that Sasuke would probably trail along, but thought against him. It wouldn't make him any more lenient to let her go. He didn't trust Sasuke any more than the next guy, but Sakura _alone _with him after all of the rumors of her mental state with him going around? Probably not the best idea. "No, Hinata and Ino... wanted to go with me."

Kiba eyed her for a minute, as if he was trying to decide if she was telling the truth or not. "We followed him half way to Kirigakure before we lost his scent. He vanished." He said with a sigh.

Sakura let out a small breath of relief. Progress. At least she knew where to start from. Though, if Kiba and Akamaru couldn't find him from there, she felt like there was a slim chance she would be able to. "Thank you."

"I would insist I go with you as well, but I know how stubborn you are." He muttered, standing up and rolling his shoulders. Sakura almost snorted. Didn't stop Sasuke. "Just be careful. Konoha can't afford to lose any of you ladies."

"One more thing." She said before turning to leave. "Swear to me you won't tell the Hokage."

She could almost see the wheels turning in his head. "They aren't going with you, are they?"

"What makes you say that?"

"They would have consulted Tsunade before even thinking about doing this with you."

Sakura met his eyes, and then she saw things click into place for him. He leaped towards her, to stop her from leaving, but Sakura was faster. She was behind him and reaching to his nerve before he could take a step. Kiba wasn't that slow though, he twisted around, catching her fingers before they could make contact.

But his touch was all she needed to freeze his muscles. Her chakra could be used for things other than healing. Who said she hadn't improved?

"I'm sorry, Kiba. I have to do this."

The hold on him wouldn't last long, so she moved to the gates as quickly as she could, knowing that once Kiba broke free, he would go straight to the Hokage. She had to be far enough away that they couldn't catch them too fast.

He stood just outside of the gates, the same bored expression on his face. When she emerged at a run, he fell into pace beside her, not glancing back at the village. "What did you do."

"I got some information."

She couldn't see the disapproval on his face, but she could feel it. He wasn't one to judge her on her methods of attaining information. She could only imagine the terrible things he'd done to people in order to get what he wanted.

Sasuke didn't really care how she got the information. If it would get them over and done with this mission faster then that was great. All he seemed to want to do was make sure Sakura was be okay, and it pissed him off. Sure, he could have just gone to the Hokage like Sakura suggested, but it was probably the fact she suggested it that he didn't want to do it.

Though it wouldn't get him into the Hokage's good books, her approval didn't really matter. For some reason his mind was on one track, and that was to protect Sakura. It seemed that his old tendencies wouldn't leave him alone.

There was still silence between them, but it wasn't like before. It was a comfortable silence, like two people who were in something together. Two people who knew that they were going to get in a lot of shit when they returned to the village. He wouldn't be surprised if the Hokage sent people after them to hunt them down and drag them back.

Sakura didn't even know where to start to look for them. Sure, Kiba gave her a general area, but the area that stretched between where they'd been and Kirigakure was a long ass distance. Half way was going to be a broad selection. Even then, where would she know to start? Would there be some kind of hint for her? Did they leave a convenient trail of bread for her to follow?

No. They weren't idiots. If Kiba had lost them then they had done so on purpose; they didn't want any followers.

Damnit, damnit, damnit!

**xx**

Naruto was glad that he and Kakashi were being sent out on a mission. It was killing him to be waiting in Konoha, wondering how Sakura was dealing, wondering if Sasuke was being a pain in the ass for their entire team. It was something he would do.

But now he had another mission to focus on, and even if those thoughts were still in the back of his mind, they weren't drowning everything else out. It was just an unpleasant hum.

Now he had to go deal with some dumb ass ninjas who thought they could mess around with Kumogakure. Not on his watch. Especially not if his best friend was heading there, right into the face of danger without even knowing it. But they weren't stupid; they would realize that something was amiss. He had enough faith in Sakura to know that she wouldn't be stupid.

Kakashi had sent one of his hounds up ahead to look for Yamato's group, and at the present time, all they could do was wait for the dog to get back with their location. So, unfortunately, his mind was left to wonder about Sakura's mission. If there had been no complications, they would have dropped their charge off in Kumogakure and returned home, hopefully with no contact with the shinobi running rampant around the lands.

If Akatsuki really was behind it... he wanted Sakura safely in the walls of Konoha.

He'd dealt with their ranks before; Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Tobi, and even knowing that Sakura had beaten Sasori, it didn't make him any less worried. He much preferred it when she was working in the hospital, not out on missions. She was safer there; there were more people to protect her.

But he knew that working in the hospital, though something she cared about, was the opposite of what she would rather be doing. She always wanted to be out in the field, testing her strength and protecting people that she worked with.

"Naruto." Kakashi said, as his dog disappeared in a puff of smoke. "They're not too much farther ahead of us. They've made camp and are waiting until morning."

Naruto nodded, and the two of them started moving again.

**xx**

It took them two days of nonstop travelling to get to the outskirts of Kumogakure, and the sight in front of them didn't inspire any kind of hope for the people that must have lived there. Where there used to be a village, there was now a smoldering lump of wood, and dare she think it, _bodies._

She had no doubt in her mind that the shinobi they were after had made a stop here. They seemed like the pillaging kind of assholes that she spent her time trying to protect people from. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like she was doing her job very well if something like this had happened. At the same time though, it gave her some kind of path to follow. Even if it wasn't the men she was after, she would gladly take care of these bastards before continuing with her task.

Despite Sasuke's uneasiness of approaching the area, Sakura did it anyway, and with his oath to protect her, or whatever the hell he was thinking, he tagged along, following closely behind her.

To her dismay, she could see the shapes of charred bodies, women and children, burned in the fire that had spread through the small village. She and Sasuke split up, searching for any survivors despite the odds. There was always a chance, and she didn't want to leave someone stuck here.

A feint groan caught her attention. _One of the poor people must still be alive_, she thought, her stomach wrenching uncomfortable in her stomach.

In the orange light of dusk, the pink-haired kunoichi made her way over to where the sound had come from. Sure enough, there was still someone alive. His breathing was shallow and irregular, and her trained medical eye could tell he didn't have much time left. Her first instinct was to heal the man, but his body was so badly burned that she knew there was no hope. She couldn't waste her chakra on him when it wouldn't bring him life. Since she couldn't heal him, it would be better to end it than let him suffer. Sakura steeled herself, then focused her chakra as a green glow engulfed her hand.

Sakura leaned over the prone figure, intending to use the chakra scalpel to end his life quickly, but paused when the injured man suddenly opened his eyes. His eyes were cloudy but they still focused on her. She felt her resolve waiver at the silent pleading look.

Her hesitation made her feel weak. She couldn't always rely on the others to do everything for her.

_I have to, I'm sorry_, she thought as her glowing hand, still perched over the man, began to shake with emotion. _Do it, just do it!_ She ordered herself.

She took a deep breath to steady her hand and try again.

Still she hesitated. No wonder her team had to do everything for her. Where was all her resolve to keep up and always push forward?

Emerald eyes went wide as someone caught her trembling hand by the wrist. The dying man convulsed suddenly when a familiar sword pierced down through the prone figure and into his heart. Sakura sat frozen in that position and watched as the light died in the shinobi's eyes.

A gentle tug on her wrist broke the spell and she let herself be pulled to her feet. Once she was standing, Sasuke pulled the blade free and went about wiping it off before sheathing it.

_Damnit,_ she cursed at herself, finding her hand shaking slightly. _Okay, steady Sakura, take a deep breath and move on_, she thought, _all you have to do is scoop your wounded pride off the ground._

She tried to take a breath, but it came out shaky. She felt the prickle of frustrated tears and she let out a little sniffle. _Don't you dare cry_, she told herself, turning away from Sasuke. She only hoped he hadn't heard her.

But she could feel his eyes boring holes into her back. He knew something wasn't right, knew that her breathing should be more steady and not ragged like that.

"Sakura?"

"Go look for more survivors." She snapped, hoping that for once in his life he would listen to her. When she felt his presence staying behind her, she clenched her hand in a fist and whirled around, nearly hitting him in the jaw. "Go!"

With a glare, Sasuke turned his attention back to the charred ruins and continued his search.

Finding herself alone, she took a few more deep breaths, priding in the fact that they were becoming less shaky and more determined. She would never let Sasuke see her cry. Never in a million years. That had been a close enough call, but if the bastard had just let her do her duty... she would've been fine.

But that wasn't true, she realized. If Sasuke hadn't ended that man's life, she didn't know if she would have been able to. Finishing someone off in battle was something that she did often, but finishing someone off because they were too far gone to be healed was another thing entirely. She wasn't meant to take life like that. She should have been able to _save _that man.

"There's someone else." Sasuke called from behind her.

She turned around, finding him leaning over a body. She walked over, her gut turning in her chest. What would she do if this victim was in the same shape as the man before? Would she just let Sasuke do it again? Would she sit there and be weak because she couldn't end someone's life.

It was a woman, her body badly burned, her face barely recognizable as that of a female. She was beyond saving, just as the previous man had been. It seemed that the shinobi who had done this had been thorough, wanting no survivors, but not caring enough to go through them all. This woman was different though. This woman made Sakura want to burst into tears because of the small chakra she could sense in the woman's stomach.

There was a _baby _in there. A tiny little baby that was going to die once the mother passed away. In fact, it was a miracle the little child hadn't died already.

"She's-" Sakura found the words lost in her throat.

"I know." Was Sasuke's hard reply. She wondered how long it had taken him to desensitize himself from everything. It may have been the duty of a ninja, but Sakura knew she still had problems with it.

"Please." The woman croaked, her hand reaching out to Sakura. "Save.. my baby."

Sakura felt herself trembling again. Felt herself wanting to break down and cry. There was nothing she could do for the baby. It was too underdeveloped to be ripped from its mothers womb. Sakura wouldn't be able to protect it, to keep it sustained. But the little life form was still _alive_ in there. Still alive. There was no way she could help it though. No way to keep it alive away from its mother.

But she didn't want this woman to die knowing that. "Okay." Sakura whispered, taking the woman's hand. "Okay."

Without another word, Sasuke activated his Sharingan and sent the woman into a trance. Sakura was startled at first, the only things she knew of his Sharingan was that they held nothing but promises of pain for those encased in it.

However, the woman's face was a mask of peace when she felt her pulse fade to nothing, and then not too much later, the child's.

It started to snow right then. Like someone was sending the weather to cover up such a horrendous event. Before long, the entire village and its inhabitants would be covered in a thin blanket of white, hiding the horrors and death from any travellers passing by. But Sakura would always know what happened though, those two faces would be ingrained in her memory for a long time.

She felt a tug on her arm, and once again let herself be pulled to her feet. "Let's go." Sasuke said, his face emotionless as ever. She wondered if something like this even phased him; if it bothered him in the slightest. He may be an emotionless bastard, but there had to be some human part of him left.

Right?

**xx**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Well, that was kind of a depressing end to the chapter, wasn't it?<em>**

_A little hint to SasuSaku there!  
><em>_Not bad, not bad.  
>And poor Kiba! <em>

-_Your faithful reviewer_

_**Review you little fiends! And by fiends I mean friends. :3**_

**-EM**


	11. Rescued

_****So, again, thank you for the reviews! I wonder if I'm starting to sound like a broken record here, but I really am thankful for the support and nice comments I'm getting from you guys! It reminds me that I have readers that are enjoying my story, and that I'm not wasting my time writing it.****_

_****But I really want to encourage those of you that are just adding this story to their favorites or to their story alerts to review... PLEASE! I want to know why you guys like it, or ways that you think I could improve! Even if its just a small little review!****_

_****And I usually hate it when people leave long shpiels up here, so I'm going to stop now :)****_

_****-EM****_

* * *

><p><em>"Would her find her?<br>Without question.  
>Would he save her?<br>Always."_

_-Lauren Kate_

**My Darkness: Chapter XI**

**Rescued  
><strong>

**xx**

Sakura didn't say a word, just let him pull her away from the scene, feeling like she was caught in some kind of trance, one that she just wanted to escape from. She had spent countless hours trying to make herself numb to the pain of others, and still she found that it was one of her weaknesses.

As they ran, Sakura slowly returned to the harshness of reality, trying to forget what she'd seen. Trying to ignore the face of that woman and the idea of the baby that would never be born. But she couldn't tear herself up over it. There was nothing she could have done. Trying to save either of them would have exhausted all of her chakra, and even then they wouldn't have been stable. The fire had caused too much damage.

And still she wished that there was some way she could stop caring, stop feeling for them. They were dead and gone, in the past. No, she couldn't think of them like that... they were still people, people who'd had loved ones, people who had others that they cared about. Someone was going to miss them now that they were gone, and she only wished that she could make that person feel at ease. Let them know how they had died.

But there was no way to find that out. There really was nothing else she could do.

She followed Sasuke absentmindedly, not even knowing if he was leading her completely off of the path they were following, and not really caring. Her sadness melted into rage towards the people who were responsible for such an atrocity. Whoever started that fire was going to pay. She would make sure of it.

As if he sensed Sakura's change in emotion, he let her lead again, somehow knowing that it would make her feel better after her display of weakness back in that village. She wanted to be in charge again; wanted to have some power.

It didn't bother him to let her, either. In fact, he listed it as part of protecting her.

He noted that off in the distance, there were more stacks of smoke, no doubt the same thing had happened in other villages around. Whoever had done this was going on a rampage. He was glad that Sakura's attention seemed to be more focused on something else; it would have distracted her once more from finding Tamaki, the reason that they'd left in the first place.

It was good to see her with such a determination, one that he knew would be useful in battle. There was some part of him that understood she may want to show off and try and redeem herself in front of him for her previous mistake, but he didn't care about that. Even if he hadn't witnessed them himself, her skills had earned her a very high rank in the shinobi world. But he didn't want her in battle, he wanted her safely behind him, watching instead of participating.

An instinct, one that he might not want, but one that he couldn't control.

He just wanted to eliminate the threat altogether; get Tamaki safely to his location, return to Konoha so he could move on from this whole experience. At least in Konoha Sakura wouldn't be at risk all the time. He could distance himself from her for a little while.

It didn't matter how much he wanted to protect her, there was only so much of this Sakura he could take. He wasn't the only person with a wall now, and he found the idea unsettling. Sakura had always worn her emotions on her sleeve, and now it was so difficult for him to really know what she was thinking; how the situation was affecting her. However, it did seem like she still had her moments of weakness. He knew she was upset back at the burned village, though that wasn't much of a victory. Anyone with some form of emotion would have been upset by that scene.

So then why had it not bothered him?

Because death was inevitable. It didn't matter when, everyone would meet it. And seeing those people just let him know that it had been their time to die. Maybe his day would be tomorrow, maybe the day after that. There was no way of knowing.

He would take it when it came.

**xx**

It took one more day, traveling at the brisk pace that they were, to make it to the approximate half way point between Kirigakure and the area where Tamaki had been taken. Sasuke and Sakura had split up, not so far that Sasuke couldn't be at her side in a minute if she encountered anyone, but far enough to get a broader investigation of the area.

Those bastard fire starting rebels aside, Sakura was trying to focus on finding any clues. After Tamaki was safely in Kumogakure, she would ask Sasuke if they could pursue those other bastards.

No.

She wouldn't ask him. She could do whatever the hell she wanted! Technically speaking, she was the higher rank. Sasuke was a... well he wasn't even really a Konoha shinobi yet. He was like a little addition; an accessory that came in handy in a battle.

Sakura stopped running around the area and stood still, taking a deep breath and trying to focus on finding something; _anything_. Tamaki needed her, and she needed to focus. She let the wind whip mercilessly against her hair, ignoring the bits of dust and dirt that it brought with it, and pressed her hand to the ground.

It was a skill Tsunade had taught her. Something to do with the energy in the ground and their healing chakra. Sakura hadn't been paying much attention when Tsunade was explaining it, but it gave her an ability to sense the area around her and try and see if anything seemed wrong. Any footsteps, any damage; almost anything.

There were a lot of disturbances, to her relief. Footprints that ran right through the small forest she was standing in, not to far from her location. If she went and looked, she was sure that the area would be trampled. This had to be the man she was looking for. The amount of footprints didn't matter, he could have easily joined up with more of his forces once he escaped Kiba and Sai. She spiked up her chakra slightly, signaling Sasuke to join her. Maybe he'd have some news too. The more the better.

He was there almost instantly, probably having in his mind that she was in danger. Because apparently she couldn't walk two feet without hurting herself, so he claimed. When he found her unharmed and not facing any major threats, she saw him relax and do a quick survey of the area.

"What?" He muttered, finding nothing in his search.

Sakura rose an eyebrow at him and pointed to the snowy ground to her left. He must be off his game or something, because the tracks were blatantly obvious. His eyes squinted as he looked down and Sakura furrowed her brows. Could he really not see them? Was she making things up now? She double checked and even blinked a couple of times to make sure, but they were definitely there.

"Footprints." He said finally, forcing his eyes away.

With another arched brow, she shook her head and turned away from him, following the tracks through the forest until they opened up into a clearing and just vanished. Damn those men for not wanting to be found.

Sasuke came up behind her, and when she turned around she couldn't help but glare at the trademark smirk he had plastered on his face.

"What." She hissed, narrowing her eyes at him. He gestured to his right, where the air seemed to flicker, as if it was a hot day and the heat was creating some kind of mirage. There was no mistaking it; it was genjutsu.

She took a step closer and reached her hand out to inspect the area. Sure enough, her hand met something solid, and she let herself gasped, a little dismayed that she hadn't found it herself.

Then a wash of panic rushed through her, and she felt herself go on high alert. They must have guards everywhere around here. But why couldn't she feel them? She whirled around, making sure that no one was going to sneak up behind her. She wasn't sure if she could completely trust Sasuke yet, even if she wanted to try. Baby steps.

With a few hand signs and a completely calm attitude, Sasuke dispelled the genjutsu, a feat that Sakura couldn't help but admit was a little bit impressive.

The building that appeared before them didn't look that big, but looks were always deceiving. She half expected there to be another two stories of the place hidden underground.

Which there was.

Sakura could sense Tamaki in the building, which was a huge relief. It meant that he was alive; maybe not in good condition but definitely alive. If she could get to him and escort him to safety, then everything would be okay.

Sasuke didn't understand why the idiots wouldn't station any of their guards outside, but it made things easier for him. If they were that foolish then it was not his problem. However, the obstacles would lie inside the walls, where he could sense many of the guards littering different rooms, none of them patrolling the halls of the perimeter of their hideout. It was like they thought no one would ever find them.

They couldn't really be that stupid.

He wondered what it would take to put them on alert. If he would have to break through one of the walls, or actually physically attack someone for them to realize that their base was under attack.

Sasuke took the lead, refusing to let Sakura walk into danger in front of him. These men may not be on high alert; after all, their front door was wide open, but they were still dangerous. He could sense their chakra signatures, and they weren't weak shinobi. Not for him at least, but he still hadn't seen Sakura's full capabilities and wasn't going to get her into a situation where she was overwhelmed.

It was a different experience for him. Everything was so easy; finding the place, getting into the place, and now searching the halls for the room that Tamaki's small chakra was behind. He couldn't help but wonder if there was someone waiting for them to get to a certain point before they attacked. If that was the case then he would get them out of it, but doing so easily could cause too much destruction. He could flatten the entire base if he wanted, but there would be no finding Tamaki that way.

They encountered few guards, probably getting up to go to the washroom and unexpectedly coming into contact with two people who were _definitely_ not authorized to be wandering through the halls. But before they could even utter a scream, Sasuke had them paralyzed with his Sharingan. With barely another sound, he and Sakura had pulled the men into another room and locked the door.

It still shocked him that no one had been patrolling anything. Sometimes when they passed a room, they could hear laughter through the door. But for them not to sense he and Sakura at all? Sure, they were concealing their chakra, but these shinobi better than average, as he had deciphered, and they should have been able to sense something.

Sasuke led them down a few sets of stairs which creaked and groaned under the disturbance before emerging into a much darker, smaller hallway. He could feel how on edge Sakura was from being in this place. He felt the same; knowing that if they were attacked, there would be no easy way to escape if the situation called for it. They would have to run up those stairs again before they even got to the ground level. His earlier thought about being able to level the place if the need came made less sense now. He would bury himself and Sakura under the rubble. He only hoped that there wouldn't be too many for him to simply paralyze. No, that wouldn't happen. He was too powerful for something like that to ever happen.

Then he felt it, hundreds of chakra signals gathered in one room. Just down the hall and to their right. It must have been some sort of meeting place, or perhaps a cafeteria of some sorts. Regardless, if there _was _some kind of important meeting, it would explain why there had been no one patrolling the perimeter and why there were barely and stragglers in the hall. But then why weren't the men lounging around in the other rooms guarding if the others were occupied?

It didn't make any sense.

Before they could take another step, all of the chakras down the hall vanished, and Sasuke had a hunch where they were going to appear next. He grabbed Sakura's hand and pulled her behind him, standing between her and the men that were about to appear.

There were more than he'd expected, but not so many that he couldn't handle. He would have them all incapacitated easily. Sasuke wondered how they all fit into the hallway together; he couldn't see where the end of them was, he could only feel it.

One of the shinobi stepped forward, a tall, thin man with dark glasses shielding his eyes from god knows what. It wasn't exactly bright underground. "Sasuke Uchiha." His gaze flicked to Sakura, who he tried to conceal more with his form. "Sakura Haruno as well? A pleasant addition."

"Who the hell are you?" Sasuke snapped.

The man took a few steps closer, a brave act for a man that stood no chance at all. Sasuke nearly scoffed at his stupidity. "Our identities aren't important. We're nothing more than pawns." He murmured, pulling down his glasses to reveal fascinated eyes. "But you. Your name holds so much leverage."

He pushed Sakura away from his body, maybe with a little bit more force than was necessary, but it did the job to distance her from what could turn into a battle. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his enemy, and lightning fast, knocked him back as he withdrew his katana, Sharingan already activated and ready to paralyze all of his friends. "This doesn't have to turn into a blood bath." He hissed, meeting every pair of their frightened eyes.

"It _would_ be a shame." Someone hissed from behind him.

He whirled around, already knowing what had happened before he saw it. He had pushed Sakura far too hard, and slammed her into the wall. There was a small crater where her body had impacted. Foolish. His own foolishness and desire to keep her far away from danger had only put her in more of it.

Sakura's eyes were furious, and one look at her wrists showed him why she wasn't fighting back when there was a kunai pressed threateningly against her neck. There were two thin blue rings around each of her wrists; chakra blocks preventing her from doing much of anything useful. And it was his fault, as her look was explaining.

He acted without thinking.

In an instant, he had paralyzed every last one of the men in the vicinity, his rage seeping through as he forced them all to live their nightmares, whatever they might be. They threatened Sakura. They _deserved _it.

Sasuke's anger turned his Sharingan into a deadly weapon, and before he knew it, the men were dropping like flies in the hall, one ear-splitting scream after the other. The man holding Sakura finally fell to the ground, her chakra blocks expiring along with his mind. Once he was done with these men, they wouldn't be able to think; their minds would be mush...

They would all be dead.

One by one, their screams died down, blood trickling from their ears, their eyes, their noses and mouths. He'd killed them without batting an eye; that was one of the things many people feared about the Sharingan. But something as brutal as what he'd just done only worked on the weak-minded. There were a plentiful amount of people in the world that could resist the effects of having their brain compacted to nothing but an empty shell.

Sakura took a breath. She had underestimated Sasuke. He was scary. But her hatred for him in that moment was scarier. "What the _hell_ were you thinking!" She hissed.

"Sakura." He whispered, stepping towards her, his tone almost worried; almost.

Sakura shoved him away from her, her fury something to be feared. "You almost got me killed!"

He grabbed her upper arms with a solid strength, pulling her to him and forcing her into stillness. "Sakura, calm down." Sasuke shook her -hard - where she still struggled, and she halted abruptly, quelled by the harsh sound of his voice and the ferocity of his grasp. "Do you think I'd let anything happen to you?" he demanded, almost shouting. "Do you think I'd let anything harm you?"

Sakura swallowed, her eyes narrowing at him, and found her body shaking. His grip was so tight, she could only imagine how frightened she would be if Sasuke wasn't on her side. He scared her in that moment, the fierceness of his eyes, the strength in his arms as he subdued her, and that was the thing; he _was _on her side and she was still a little bit afraid. But looking into his eyes and seeing the sweat on his face, she realized that fear had touched more than just herself. He was scared too, not for himself, but for what had almost happened to her. Something inside of her eased up and she nearly slumped into him.

"I can't believe what you did." She whispered, looking at the bodies littered around her. She killed all the time without much thought, but this... this had been something else entirely. "You slaughtered them."

"I did what I had to do." The heat in his voice had faded, replaced with a deadly calm, something close to the emotionless monotone that she was used to. One of his hands released her and moved to her head, smoothing her hair back. Her eyes flashed to meet his, shocked at his touch. As if a switch had gone off in his head that made him realize what he'd just done, he took a small step away from her and averted his eyes to her neck. "You're okay?"

She nodded, feeling a strange wave or fear and excitement rush through her. She couldn't find the rage that she had been harboring for him, because the look in his eyes and the pain on his face showed that he was actually worried about her. And the confused emotion she had from his touch outweighed anything else she was feeling.

It took her a moment to regain her senses, to remember why they were in this godforsaken place to begin with. "Tamaki." She said, in a voice that felt much weaker than she wanted it to be.

Sakura weaved through the dead bodies to where she could still feel Tamaki's small chakra. Just a little bit further, and then they could all get out of this place. Tamaki would be safe, she would be back in Konoha where she could get a much-needed hug from her best friend. He would probably be furious with her for leaving him behind, but he would hug her anyways. Because that's what best friends were for.

"Oh thank heavens." Tamaki said, very obviously relieved to see that it was her. "You came for me! You saved me!"

"I'm so sorry." Sakura said, moving quickly to cut the ropes that restrained him. He was a little worse for wear, but it was nothing major, though she did insist that she heal even the smallest of wounds. Sasuke kept watch at the door while she did so, ready to kill anyone that got near them.

She still wasn't sure if his display had repulsed her or impressed her. Or both. Or neither. She had no idea what to think. But the look on his face when he saw she was in danger said enough.

"Ow." Tamaki hissed under his breath as Sakura straightened out one of his fingers.

"Sorry." She whispered comfortingly. She was used to dealing with patients in pain, and knew exactly what tone to use to make them at ease. It was the _'I'm a trained medical professional and I know what I'm doing so you have nothing to worry about'_ tone. When she was satisfied with her work, she turned to Sasuke. "Lets go."

"My son." Tamaki said suddenly, surprising both of them. "My son is here somewhere. We can save him; we can get him out of this place."

Sakura didn't want to think about the possibility of Tamaki's son being involved in the miniature massacre Sasuke had just committed and so stuck with the most blatant question. "Your son?"

"He was the one who rescued me."

"Rescued you?" Sasuke spat, narrowing his eyes at the tea farmer.

Tamaki shook his head furiously, waving his hands in an exhasperated manner. "Gaton was only trying to help me. He thought that you guys had kidnapped me on my way to Kumogakure." He nodded now, as if that gesture would get them to understand. "He's always paranoid that his business cast a bad shadow on me. Always thinks that I'm in danger."

"Tamaki." Sakura said slowly, furrowing her brows together. "Your finger was broken and it's very obvious that they hit you. How is this the result of your son _rescuing _you?"

"The man was upset. He was upset so he took it out on me. I begged him to; me and not Gaton."

Sakura was trying to absorb everything he was saying. Why was his son in this place to begin with? How did a tea farmer like Tamaki end up with a son that had bested even her? Albeit, Gaton got lucky in their first battle, but-

"What was his name. This man." Sasuke asked.

"Mochirami? Omicharu?" Tamaki tapped his finger on his chin, drawing a blank.

"Orochimaru." Sakura whispered, her eyes widening.

"That's the one!"

Tamaki's son was in league with Orochimaru. So then they'd just infiltrated a Sound base? Orochimaru would hear of this. He would be here any minute. Sasuke-

She turned to look at him. He was staring at the tea farmer with a very calculating expression, as if he was trying to make sense of what the man was saying, or trying to decided whether or not to believe him.

"We have to go." Sakura said, taking Tamaki's arm and pulling him to stand. If Orochimaru got there before they were able to leave, it would end in another battle. Sakura didn't want to have to fight that bastard when she wasn't prepared. This was supposed to be a small rescue mission - there wasn't supposed to be this much extra baggage going along with it.

But for Orochimaru to have amassed that many men; it was like he was creating an army.

Oh shit.

**xx**

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><p><em><strong>I apologize for my tardy uploading. But, if it makes you feel better it's- no. That won't make you feel better. All I can do is apologize. My midterms are coming up and soccer has been dragging me out of town. This is the excuse I will stick with! :( I'll try not to let it happen again, but my schedule is just too topsy turvy to make any solid promises.<strong>_

_**But for those too lazy to create their own review even though they love me for updating...**_

_YAY, they saved Tamaki. And Sasuke is a lil' bit scary there not going to lie. I mean. Their brains just got turned into pudding by his Sharingan? Whaaaaat? Since when can it do that? And now Orochimaru is coming into the mix. Oh hot damn. Things are getting busy._

_-Your Faithful Reviewer_

_**My feelings towards this chapter are undecided. But. I hope you enjoyed it regardless!**_

_**-EM**  
><em>


	12. What Do You Mean to Me?

**_GUESS WHO HAS OVER 100 REVIEWS? ME! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I felt like dancing around and shouting it out to the world, which, thankfully, the people in my city didn't actually have to witness._**

**_Continue reviewing and making me want to dance!_**

_**-EM**_

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><p><em>"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." <em>

_-Roy Disney_

**My Darkness: Chapter XII**

**What Do You Mean to Me?**

**xx**

How was she supposed to know that her little personal side mission was going to turn out to be much more revealing than anyone knew? How the hell was she supposed to know that her attempt at reclaiming her pride was going to end up finding a secret that she assumed was meant to be hidden?

And on top of the new discovery they'd made, for some fucking reason, her stupid hormones were reacting against her will every time she looked at Sasuke. All she could think about was how she felt when he stroked her hair, how her skin reacted when he reached for her wrist. All of these things that she didn't _want. _Maybe she just wanted to be his friend. Maybe she just wanted to help him earn his status back in Konoha so he could go make some new friends.. or find someone that was willing to put up with his holier-than-thou behavior.

But the very thought of him with some other girl infuriated her to no end.

She watched him across the fire in their camp, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She'd never expected to feel like that towards him ever again. Sakura had been so blinded by the rage she felt at his betrayal, so pissed off that he'd abandoned them, that she hadn't been privy to any other emotions. But now that her hatred was starting to wean, she found other emotions taking its place.

Ones that she'd denied for so long; ones she was still trying to deny.

That was the problem here! She may have felt them, but she still wasn't sure if she even wanted them. If she did end up caring about him again, if somehow the rest of her was able to ignore everything he'd done, would she be able to risk being hurt again? He might have been back, but he could leave again at any minute. This could all be a set up. He could be _working_ for Orochimaru for all she knew. This entire mini mission could have been set up by him to accomplish something stupid like showing her the power of his stupid, stupid Sharingan. He was stupid. Stupid and still risky. In fact, there were too many risks that he posed; too many that she didn't want to deal with. Sasuke wasn't worth it, not a second round of pain.

Before she could look away, his eyes landed on hers, and the expression within them made something in her stomach tingle. She abruptly tore her eyes away, staring into the almost blinding brightness of the flames. "I'm going to get more wood." She said suddenly; any excuse to get away from the camp. "Keep an eye on him." She muttered, looking at the tea farmer passed out on the ground.

She was glad that they'd been able to rescue him; her shame was almost gone... almost. It still _happened _even if she was able to fix it. If she had been doing her job in the first place she wouldn't have needed to fix anything.

Sakura wondered if Sasuke believed her excuse. The fire wasn't even close to going out yet, and even if it was, Sasuke could just reignite it with one of his jutsus. Still, it had come from her lips before she'd even comprehended what she was saying.

"Sakura." His voice sent a shill down her spine, and she found herself making a fist, ready to sock him right in the jaw if he came to close.

"You left Tamaki." She stated, moving to brush past him to the camp. She always did this when he came looking for her. She didn't really want to hear what he had to say, scared that it could actually mean something to her. But as she passed him, he stuck his arm out, grabbing her side and pulling her back in front of him.

"He's fine."

"Someone could-"

"Sakura." He repeated. His tone alone made her clamp her mouth shut, forcing back the words that she wanted to say. "I'm sorry." He said suddenly. "About almost getting you killed, I-"

Since when did Sasuke ever apologize?

She met his gaze and her heart seemed to stop. His eyes were dark, looking at her through thick lashes and before she knew it, he was taking a step closer to her, his hand clamping down softly on her waist. She sent the intruding hand a startled look and as she met his eyes, questioning his actions, making sure that this wasn't another dream or illusion. This would only bring her pain... bring both of them pain.

"You have to know that I would never let anyone hurt you." He wouldn't let her die. Not until he knew what she meant to him.

"Stop." She whispered, taking a step away from him, though it wasn't nearly far enough. She could still smell him, still feel the heat radiating off of his body. It was too much.

His eyes displayed no emotion, as was the norm, but she found that occasionally she would catch a flicker of something she didn't understand. Maybe it was because he didn't understand it. If she knew anything about him, it was that he couldn't grasp any kind of human emotions. It was like he'd shut himself off. Much like she had when he left. She closed herself off from the very idea of love because she was ignorant and naïve and had only wanted the love of one person.

Here he was, standing so close to her and she didn't want it; didn't want him. But if that was the case, then what had all her confusion before been about? No, it wasn't right. She knew her body wanted him, that much was clear. It was her mind remembering the pain associated with Sasuke and trying to defend itself. She didn't want to go through the same thing again because he could still leave. And what would she do if he left and she was in love with him again?

When his hand reached up to snag a stray hair, she didn't stop it. She didn't stop it as it trailed down her cheek, stopping at her collarbone and running his finger across a thin line that was still visible from the pressure of the kunai the man had held. She hadn't healed it yet. Her eyes slid closed at his touch, and she suppressed a shudder.

"I'm going to protect you." His voice was soft, a sound that she could have fallen asleep listening to for ages. "I don't care if you want it or not."

Sakura was surprised at his proximity when she opened her eyes, and found any snide retort she had ready die on her tongue. She couldn't even meet his eyes anymore, and she was sure that if she moved at all, their noses would bump and she would be faced with dealing with her red face of embarrassment. Did using his Sharingan on all of those men make Sasuke a little bit loopy? Did it make him lose a little part of his brain every time he used it? Because she'd never seen him act like this before, and it was freaking her out, to say the least.

Her eyes widened in surprise when he pressed his forehead to hers, meeting her eyes and sending a shiver down her spine. Why wasn't she backing away? Why wasn't she punching him in the jaw and yelling at him for getting so close to her without her permission.

"I-" She hesitated before turning her face to the side and taking another step away from him. "I should go check on Tamaki." Sakura whispered before returning to the camp as quickly as her manners would allow her to. If she'd just blatantly run, Sasuke would have been hurt - if he was capable of feeling that at all.

Well, obviously he was feeling something for her. Unless this was all some kind of sick and twisted game. Maybe he didn't know what he was feeling; she wouldn't doubt that. She assumed that when it came to deciphering his emotions, Sasuke wasn't exactly a master.

But he should know! And he should write those feelings on a damn sign for her to see so at least she would know what he was thinking; what he was confused about. Because she sure as hell knew she was confused about a lot of things.

Maybe it was just that she'd been alone with him for too long. Sakura needed to get back to Konoha where there were other people; where she could hide from him and not have to worry about people trying to kill her - unless Sasuke had some left over lovers that he wasn't telling anyone about.

That was it. She just needed to go home.

**xx**

They hadn't found any sign of the men Yamato's team had been following. They'd had sight of them, and then they vanished, their tracks disappearing in the middle of one of the villages they'd burnt to a crisp. There were so many villages like that all around Kirigakure, and more starting around Kumogakure. It sickened him to know that some people would take pride in ruining another's home. Killing them, and for what?

They'd encountered a few groups when they'd made the decision to return to Konoha. They were heading towards one of the villages; one that wasn't already charred and left in ruins, but one that was still harboring families and children. People who didn't deserve to be killed for no reason.

That group had been dispatched easily. They had some skill, but it was nothing too formidable; Naruto probably could have killed them all himself. As it turned out though, that small group didn't have any useful information that they were willing to give, and the Konoha ninjas didn't have time to try and coax it out of them.

And so they were almost back in Konoha; with no more leads on what Tsunade had wanted. He felt like the mission had been a failure, to be quite honest. While Yamato and his squad had remained in Kumogakure to try and deter any more attacks on the surrounding villages, Naruto and Kakashi had been itching to get home.

Well, mostly Naruto had. He wanted to see Sakura; wanted to know how her mission had gone. And he wanted to be with Hinata again; it had been too long since he'd held her. And, maybe he wanted to see how Sasuke was doing too. Maybe.

**xx**

Sasuke felt like bolting.

He couldn't explain why he'd done it, why he wanted to feel her lips so badly. It had been all of his pent up emotions; apparently he wanted to do more than just protect her. But as her soft hair fell over his fingers, as his fingers ran over the creamy skin of her neck, he felt like it was something a little bit more than that. Which scared the hell out of him.

He hadn't felt anything since he left Konoha. Nothing but revenge and determination. And now Sakura being there was giving him an opportunity to feel something else, though he didn't know how. How was she able to make him feel like his chest was going to explode when she walked away. When her eyes met his, he'd felt _something, _definitely something, but what? What could this girl be doing to him? His mind felt muddled, like there was some kind of fog that wouldn't let him think straight.

Damn her.

Neither of them spoke as they escorted Tamaki safely to Kumogakure. It had been an uneventful trip after that; no men trying to attack them, no burnt villages for them to see, and yet he was still feeling on edge. Sakura's mere presence was making him feel on edge now. They said their goodbyes to the tea farmer. Well, Sakura said goodbye; Sasuke still wasn't a huge fan of the old man. He was surprised that the farmer had been so submissive when they'd forced him away from his son, but it wasn't his business to dwell on.

They deposited him right into the hands of the Raikage, though Sasuke went nowhere near the leader. He knew that he wouldn't be welcome, and so waited in the little house the Raikage was giving them in return for the safe return of one of his people. No, he wasn't giving it to them; he was giving it to Sakura in order to promote good relations between the two villages. Not that there was bad blood, but it was common sense to accommodate an ally.

When she returned, she still didn't speak to him. She smiled, one that he knew was forced and uncomfortable, and quietly excused herself into the bathroom. Screw that woman! He didn't need to go through this. He _shouldn't _be going through this. No man as powerful as himself should ever be at the mercy of a woman, which is exactly what was happening. He just wanted her to talk to him; to forgive him for almost kissing her. And despite his common sense, he wanted to try it again.

Instead of following after her and demanding her forgiveness, he went to the back of the small place and slid open the doors.

Sasuke wasn't poetic; he didn't think many things deserved the word beautiful, but the sight before him came pretty damn close. There was a little pond behind the house, covered with lily pads and lit by not only the moon, but dozens of little white lights. Fireflies. There was something extremely unique about finding a simple thing as wondrous as this in the screwed up world her was living in.

It was a sight Sakura would enjoy, he knew. She was a girl.. they loved pretty, menial things like that.

His thoughts were disrupted by an unceremonious rapping at the door. He hesitated to answer it, wondering if the person on the other side would try and kill him. It wouldn't be so strange; he'd upset a lot of people in his time away from Konoha.

Maybe he should wait for Sakura...

No.

He could answer a fucking door on his own.

It was a woman, clad in a blue dress that was cut so low her sizeable cleavage was almost embarrassing, though she didn't seem to mind. Her reddish hair was too long, reaching down to her ankles. There were four men behind her armed and ready to fight with swords. What the hell was this?

When he was about to go on the offensive, the woman smiled at him and shook her head. "We're not going to hurt you. Sasuke, right?" She said, breezing past him and into the room.

He turned to stare at her, trying not to let his surprise be conveyed on his face. He'd seen this woman before... but where... and why was she coming here? "And you are?"

"Lady Mizukage!" Sakura's voice said. Sasuke watched as she bowed to the woman, her face flustered as she held her towel to her chest. Sasuke was taken aback that she had actually walked out of the bathroom in _that._ There were other people here; men whose lecherous eyes were lingering on her body. With a silent snarl, Sasuke moved to block their view of the scantily clad kunoichi, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What business do you have here?" He demanded more than asked.

"Sasuke!" Sakura hissed from behind him, outraged at the tone he was using with Mizukage. People didn't _demand _things from her. She demanded things from them.

"Why don't we sit down and have a little chat." The Mizukage offered, gesturing to a small wooden table. "After you're dressed." She added, peeking around Sasuke to look at the girl behind him.

With a furious blush, Sakura nodded, disappearing into the bathroom.

He'd never seen Sakura so disheveled and frantic about impressing someone before. He knew it was because this woman was the Mizukage, but he didn't find himself wanting to appeal to her at all. However, he hadn't relied on the rule of any kage for six years; old habits died hard.

"Sit."

He continued to stand, watching as the Mizukage sat down, signalling her guards to relax. The woman waited for Sakura to return before trying to get Sasuke to sit again. "Sasuke. Sit down." Sakura hissed, sending him a furious glare.

With a clenched jaw and tight muscles, Sasuke pulled out a chair, sitting down and narrowing his eyes at the Kage in front of them.

"Mizukage," Sakura began, only to be cut off by said woman.

"Call me Mei." She said, turning her eyes to Sasuke and letting a small smile settle onto her features.

"Right, Mei." She was pulling nervously at the hem of her shirt, Sasuke noted as Sakura struggled to find the right words to form a sentence. It reminded him of the academy days, when she was so nervous around anyone with authority and power. "What are you doing in Kumogakure?"

Sasuke also noted that this woman's eyes were a similar green to Sakura's, though they didn't hold the same fervor; the same sparkle. Not that he cared about what Sakura's eyes looked like... it was just an observation. The mock eyes flicked to Sakura, taking her in with a sort of calculating invesigation.

"I'm sure you've heard of the rebels that were terrorizing my lands." Mei said, crossing her arms over her chest like an upset child. "They burned my villages to the ground, attacked some travelers, and ever started attempting to break into Kiri. _My _village!"

Sakura felt gears clicking into place in her mind. The men who had burned down the village they passed must have been the same ones. They were starting to do this all over the place, not just Kirigakure. It wouldn't be long until they made their way to Kumogakure and started their attacks once again. If those men were the same ones Orochimaru was in charge of they were going to have some problems on their hands.

"I'm here speaking with the Raikage on business regarding those attacks." Her eyes returned to Sasuke, sending an unwanted feeling down his spine. "Now, the better question. What are _you _doing here? Last I heard you were pleading for forgiveness in Konohagakure."

Sasuke clenched his hands into fists, and he felt Sakura bump her knee against his under the table, transmitting a wave of calming chakra with that simple touch. He slowly let out a breath, keeping his narrowed eyes on the Kage in front of him. "I am begging for nothing." He hissed through clenched teeth.

The Mizukage smiled and shrugged. "I've heard differently. Word is the you begged for your life in front of the council."

Sasuke stood up suddenly and Sakura did as well, a restraining hand on his shoulder. It was clear that he didn't deal with authority well after living so long with Orochimaru. He hadn't listened to anyone for six years, and to have this woman insulting his dignity; a woman that he couldn't attack without being killed himself was probably eating him up.

They both knew the truth; Sasuke hadn't cared if he lived or died on that day, and Sakura could never imagine him begging for his life in front of those people. He wouldn't have cared if Sakura voted to have him killed... but she didn't. She'd saved his life, and she wouldn't have his anger get him killed now.

Sakura turned her eyes to the Mizukage. "You should know better than to believe the rumors, Mizukage."

"Mei." She corrected, her eyes locked on Sakura's hand.

Mei smiled, tapping a slender finger on her chin, her eyes locked on Sasuke's. "I have a proposition for you, Sasuke Uchiha." She stood up, her hair making an auburn wave behind her. "Why don't you come and take a walk with me."

Sakura felt her body tense and with a look to her side, she noticed that Sasuke had gone rigid as well. This had to be some kind of trap. The second the Mizukage got him alone she would have her men kill him... or kill him herself.

"I'll join you." Sakura said cautiously. Sure, she was confused about her feelings for Sasuke, but that didn't mean she wanted him to be killed.

The Mizukage smiled, a sickly sweet one that only worked to make Sakura more on edge. "Now, now. I promise that I won't harm a single hair on his head." She said, moving to take the kunoichi's hand. "Just a friendly proposition and nothing more."

Sakura spared a glance to Sasuke, whose face was impassive, though his white knuckles told a different story. This was the Mizukage. If she decided that this walk was anything but friendly, he wouldn't be able to kill her without tarnishing his name back in Konoha. He couldn't have that happen. Not yet.

With a tightened jaw and clenched hands, Sasuke moved to the door, narrowing his eyes at the woman as she joined him, a smirk on her face. "Excellent." She said, turning to her guards. "Make sure this one doesn't follow us." She ordered with a pleasant grin directed at Sakura.

"Wait, Lady Mizuka-" But the slamming of the door silenced Sakura, and she stood staring after them in astonishment. With an angry glare to each of the guards around her, she slumped into a chair. She knew she could probably take them; not kill them or even do them a lot of harm if they were all attacking her at the same time, but at least distract them long enough for her to get away.

Where would that leave Sasuke though? If the Mizukage saw her trying to interrupt their conversation, there was no telling what she would do. Sakura knew that this woman was usually calm, and normally very nice. But she couldn't trust her now, not when she was speaking with Sasuke... _alone._ There were too many possibilities.

She didn't understand why she couldn't have gone along. What was the Mizukage wanting to ask him about that required so much secrecy. That required leaving her under the close watch of her elite guards. The bastards. They looked at her with a smug satisfaction and all she wanted to do was beat the living daylights out of them.

**xx**

Sasuke stopped when the Mizukage did, wondering what the hell she wanted with him. He'd never spoken to her; never even exchanged a pleasantry. He'd seen her when he was younger, and probably in some of Orochimaru's devious planning sessions. He'd always wanted control over Kirigakure, so all of those men working under him seemed to make complete sense. But the man was deviating from the last plan he'd heard of, which was unusual.

"What do you want." Sasuke demanded, looking back in the direction of the house. He could still feel Sakura, which was good. At least then he would know if she was in harm's way. The Mizukage wouldn't want to deal with him if they laid a finger on Sakura.

"So impatient." She _'tsked' _and crossed her arms over her all too revealing chest. "Many men would be honored to have me request a private audience with them."

He stared at her, waiting for her to get to the point.

"I have a proposition for you, Sasuke Uchiha." She intoned, a slight smile making its way to her lips.

"So you've said." He muttered darkly, wanting to return to the house. This woman had nothing to offer him; nothing he wanted.

The Mizukage rolled her eyes and let out a breathy sigh. "I suppose I'll just get right down to it." She met his eyes then. "You're a strong shinobi."

He rose an eyebrow, wondering where she was going with this. Did she want to send him on a private mission? Was she really going to try and utilize him for her own benefits?

"One that I'm sure many women are lusting after." She gave his body a once-over, and Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her again, wishing that she would understand the deadly look in his eyes and back off. "I'm willing to offer you freedom in my village, Sasuke. I'll even help you make some negotiations with Konoha if that's what you wish."

His skepticism didn't waver, if anything it only increased and he took a small almost invisible step away from her. "In exchange for what?"

"People tremble at the mention of your name. It's a terrifying and yet inviting prospect. Can you imagine the things we could accomplish together? My status and power combined with yours?"

"What are you asking."

She smiled and took a step closer, considering it a victory when the Uchiha didn't smack away the hand that rested on his chest. "I want you to become my accomplice. My lover."

He recoiled at her last words, taking a step away.

"Before you so openly deny my proposition, Sasuke, consider this. I would be granting you the freedom to roam our lands without an escort, without guards. You would be free to do as you wish, and the possibilities would be endless..." She advanced on him again, this time getting both hands on his chest. "What are you in Konoha? A deserter and a betrayer. You're nothing. If you came to Kirigakure with me, I could erase all of that. The only person more powerful in status than you would be me, and even then we would be working together. You would gain the respect your clan's name deserves and lose nothing."

_I'd lose Sakura. _He thought to himself, weighing the pros and cons of this situation. What the Mizukage was offering was great indeed, something that any man would have jumped to accept. Restoring his clan's honor... doing as he pleased; it was all very appealing, but he had plans that couldn't be changed.

His future was already predetermined, and he would have to ride with it. However, the Mizukage's alliance would prove to be useful if he wanted to continue his goals after the first stage was completed. She would be a strong ally as she said, and her powers would benefit him greatly. But were the benefits of accepting her proposition greater than the downfalls?

Everything he'd worked to establish in Konoha up to this point would be useless, any status he gained would be erased once he gave his loyalties to Kirigakure. He would be leaving his village once again, abandoning Naruto, abandoning Sakura, abandoning his _goals._

Alligning with the Mizukage wouldn't remove the tarnish that had been placed on his brother's name. It may help to clear up the Uchiha's name, but Itachi would forever be disgraced. He had to stay in Konoha, at least for a little while longer. Then he would consider the Mizukage's offer in more detail. He needed time to think, time to lay everything out in front of him.

But not now.

He couldn't leave Sakura until he knew what she meant to him.

**xx**

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><p><strong><em>Well, well, well. What is this?<em>**

_AWWWW! AN ALMOST SMOOCHIES!  
><em>_And Mizukage offer what now? What the shits is going on?_

_-Your Faithful Reviewer_

_**P.S - I have midterms this week, so I just wanted to get another chapter out before I delved into an intense studying/dying week and have no spare time to update. Actually, my first one is tomorrow... or today rather. And instead of studying I'm updating my story for you. THAT'S COMMITMENT RIGHT THURR!**_

_**REVIEW PWEASE!**_

_-**EM**_


	13. Honesty

**_Reviews make me write. Lets just leave it at that. A big thank you to all of the people who have reviewed and are making me all stoked and stuff :3 You guys rock!_**

_**-EM**_

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><p><em>"Honest hearts produce honest actions."<em>

_-Brigham Young_

**My Darkness: Chapter XIII**

**Honesty**

**xx**

When the Mizukage returned with a smug little smirk on her face, Sakura's mind was immediately reeling with all of the possibilities of their conversation. It was killing her, not knowing what it was about.

"Let's go." She said, summoning her guard to the door and turning to smile and nod at Sakura. She watched Sasuke with hungry eyes as he brushed past her into the room, and Sakura clenched her hand into a fist.

Without another word, the Mizukage left, leaving Sakura confused as all hell and Sasuke in a grim mood. The second the door closed, Sakura was at his side, her eyes filled with unanswered questions.

"What did she want?"

"Nothing." He responded all to quickly before turning away from her.

She was nothing if not stubborn. "Sasuke."

"I don't want to talk about it." He muttered, sweeping into the next room. It was great that he'd forgiven her, great that maybe she would start talking to him again, but it was because she was being nosy. She just had to know what the Mizukage had wanted from him.

He watched her as she moved smoothly into the room after him, leaning against the wall furthest away from him. So that meant he wasn't forgiven, at least not yet.

Sakura sighed and ran a hand over her face. Damn him. Why couldn't he just ease her mind and let her know what the Mizukage - no, sorry - what Mei wanted from him. If she wanted something political, if she threatened him, if she desired something else entirely.

No.

Sakura was not jealous.

There was no way the Mizukage would want to propose something like _that _to Sasuke. It was too bold, too... well they'd never seen each other before. Even if the Mizukage had heard of him, they would have never met and so the train of thought Sakura found herself on didn't seem to be making any sense.

"Her guards said there were other Konoha shinobi here." Sakura muttered, changing the subject entirely. If he didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to push him to the brink until he felt like punching her through a wall.

His eyes flashed to her face like he was surprised she was giving up so easily. It was clear that was not what he'd been expecting and Sakura felt like she'd won a small victory. She'd surprised him, at least.

When he didn't respond, she let herself smile, feeling a little bit more at ease now that the Mizukage had left. "I don't know who it is," she muttered, stretching her arms out and letting out some kind of yawn/sigh hybrid. She found Sasuke staring at her when she gathered herself again and she paused, feeling the weight of his eyes like a ton of bricks. "They're probably investigating the rebels. Being good allies but," she shrugged pushing off of the wall. "Who knows?"

Sasuke nodded his eyes still on her as she made her way around him to the door. "Do you want to see them?"

She almost laughed. "Do you remember how we left? I'm sure they'll know we were unauthorized to go on this little mission in the first place." Because it had been a reclamation of her pride. Sakura stopped at the door and nodded to him. "Well I'm going to sleep. You probably should too."

He bobbed his head; a nod, and Sakura moved down the hall into the room she had claimed as her own.

Damnit, she just wanted him to tell her what was going on. Why was it so hard for them to trust each other and be honest! She had every reason not to trust him; he betrayed their village, left her on a bench, tried to kill Naruto so many times... but why didn't he trust her?

He was so difficult to figure out.

**xx**

"She _what_?" Naruto choked out, spitting out the ramen that Kakashi had bought him. Bought him ramen and not himself because God forbid someone see him without his mask on while he tried to eat.

"That's what Tsunade said." The copy ninja muttered.

Naruto shook his head, trying to make sense of the whole thing. It wasn't like Sakura at all. She didn't disobey orders unless they came from Naruto himself. But to directly go against Tsunade? To venture out on her own mission and bring _Sasuke _along? Sasuke of all people?

"There has to be some kind of misunderstanding." It was just too out of character for her.

"Kiba said she wanted to go after Tamaki."

He pushed his bowl away, suddenly losing his appetite. Tamaki had been their charge. Something must have gone wrong with their mission. Did it have something to do with Sasuke? But if that was the case then why would she bring him along? Why wouldn't she wait for Naruto to get back, or request the admittance to go after Tamaki with a group. Tsunade wouldn't have hesitated to give her the go ahead; she wouldn't leave that man lost.. or whatever had happened to him.

Maybe Sakura was trying to show off to Sasuke, as unfathomable as it seemed. As far as he knew, she wanted nothing to do with them when she left for the mission. Had so much really changed?

That was a stupid question.

So much could change in two weeks.

Naruto paused, counting the days in his head. Had he really not seen Sakura for two entire weeks? It was normal for them, but knowing the emotional state she had been in days before she left had him worried, and the time span seemed so much longer.

"Naruto?"

He looked over at Kakashi, snapping him out of his train of thought. "What?"

"I said it's not like you to not eat."

Naruto grinned. "Have you ever known me to let ramen go to waste?" He said before bringing the bowl to his mouth and shoveling the contents of the bowl in. He wouldn't lose his appetite worrying about Sakura. She was a strong girl, she could handle herself in a lot of situations. He only hoped that there was no reason for the doubt that was seeping into his mind. "Round two please!"

Kakashi sighed and ran a hand over his face. It was always a bad idea to take Naruto for lunch.

**xx**

_Sakura sat upright, looking around her room, her body now on full alert. She'd felt someone's chakra... someone was in the house. But who?_

_As quiet as she was taught to be, she snuck into the hallway, making sure to bring a kunai with her. If this person had to enter the place uninvited, it was clear that he or she wasn't wanted in the first place. __She froze outside of Sasuke's room, eyeing the candlelight that was protruding from the slits around the door. Was it just him? Had he not gone to sleep yet?_

_"It's a good choice, Sasuke. You know it is." A slinky voice said. Sakura gasped, then quickly covered her mouth. The Mizukage was here? At night? In Sasuke's room?_

_"Of course I do."_

_What was he doing? What the hell was this choice? This had something to do with the proposition she'd made to him... if only Sasuke had told her what it was._

_"Let's go then, shall we?"_

_Sakura didn't have any time to run away from the scene, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. If Sasuke was trying to _leave _again she wouldn't let him. She would tie him down and sit on him if the situation called for it. She wouldn't let Naruto down like that._

_"Sakura." She turned to face them, shocked as she looked at the Mizukage's hand, resting intimately between his shoulder blades._

_"What are you doing?" She choked out, looking between the two of them._

_Sasuke's face contorted into a smirk, and his eyes darkened. "I'm leaving Konoha. Leaving you and Naruto behind. Again."_

_"Why?" She whispered, clenching the kunai tighter in her hand._

_"There's nothing for him there, not anymore." Mei added, a small grin on her face._

_"I'm there." She whispered weakly, trying to soften his resolve. "What about me?"_

_He scoffed and turned away, letting the Mizukage take his hand and guide him to the door. "You're too weak."_

_"Sasuke, wait!" She called, wanting so badly to chase after him but finding that her feet wouldn't move. "Sasuke!"_

**xx**

"Sasuke!" Sakura yelled, sitting upright and putting a hand over her chest. She took a few deep breaths, looking around the room and finding nothing had changed. There were no unexpected visitors, no evil Mizukages and heartless Sasukes.

It was just a dream... just a dream...

And yet her heart was beating uncontrollably in her chest, her cheeks wet from the tears. Was she that terrified of Sasuke leaving her?

With quiet steps, she tip-toed down the hallway, stopping outside of his room and pressing her ear to the door. She couldn't hear anything... was he even there? Had he actually left?

Her fingers snagged the edge of the door and she slid it open as quietly as she could, letting out a breath when she saw his sleeping form. He was there. No women, no devilish smirks and venomous eyes. He was just there.

"What are you doing?"

She froze, clapping a hand over her mouth as Sasuke sat up, the blankets pooling around his waist. Sakura felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she stared at his exposed chest and abdomen. She'd seen it before when she was healing him, but it seemed so different now. Had she woken him up? Had he been awake already? Damnit, damnit, damnit.

"I-" Sakura clenched her hand into a fist, more upset with herself than anything. She was blushing for fuck's sake. Blushing because she'd seen Sasuke's chest. She was no better than her thirteen year old self at this point. "I thought I heard something."

As it always did lately, his gaze was pressing a weight on her chest that she didn't want. His eyes were skeptical, like he wasn't believing a word she was saying. Hell, she wasn't even believing what she was saying.

"Sorry." She said hurriedly, turning to leave.

"Sakura, hold on."

She felt her heart leap in her chest, and hesitantly she turned to face him again, chewing furiously on her bottom lip.

"Is everything okay?"

Oh that bastard. She wanted to go sock him in the jaw for actually caring about her well-being. Turning around and yelling at him would have been so much easier if he was being a jack ass. Despite how much she wanted him to be mean and stoic to her, this new side of him was making her heart do uncomfortable flips in her chest.

So instead of doing anything that would have made sense and not made her look like a crazy girl, she stood there in shock, staring at him.

Why was he being like this?

"Sakura." He repeated.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I'm not an idiot."

Even if she wished he was right then. She wished he was unobservant, stupid, and just went right back to bed when she told him her first excuse. But those words didn't describe him at all. She knew that he was a genius, that he had probably memorized everything in this room in the first few minutes he'd arrived, and that if their stubbornness was anything, he wouldn't stop asking until she told him.

"We don't tell each other anything." She said finally, trying to get out of this as easily as she could. Sasuke hadn't told her about the Mizukage's proposition and so she didn't have to reveal anything to him.

"No?"

She stared at him incredulously. No duh.

"Your hair is a mess." He said, earning a quirked eyebrow from Sakura, challenging him to continue. If he was just going to sit there insulting her she was out. "Your eyes are red." He added, hinting at the fact it was very obvious she'd been crying. "And I heard you scream."

Oh good, as if the rest wasn't embarrassing enough. And if this was his form of telling her about things, it was stupid and pointless.

"I told you, I thought someone was in the house."

He smirked, shaking his head. "You're Anbu, Sakura. I know you're not stupid enough to think I wouldn't have sensed that person as well. You would never yell in a situation like that."

Damnit, he was backing her into a corner.

"So tell me the truth." He continued, watching her with steady eyes.

With a blatant sigh, she ran a hand over her face. There was no way in hell she was going to tell him that he'd been in her dream. "I thought someone was there." She repeated, deciding that she needed to stick with one excuse.

He was in front of her in a flash, forcing her to take a step back. "Why were you crying?"

Sakura couldn't look at his face, couldn't meet his eyes that were so close to her again. It would be too intense; his eyes were always too intense. So instead she looked at his chest, taking in all of the thin lines that were scars a healer never got to. She wouldn't have been surprised if Sasuke had requested to let them heal on his own, just so he could have some more battle scars. They were everywhere; his chest, his abdomen, his shoulders, his arms.

"Sakura." He whispered, very quietly this time. She shivered as his breath tickled her cheek. Was he _that _close?

Her breathing was already starting to pick up, and it irritated her. Why did this happen when he was close, why couldn't she stay strong and just have the courage to push him away. Why, why, why?

She moved without really thinking the repercussions through.

Her hands gripped his shoulders and she pressed her forehead to his chest, staring down at their feet. She'd needed a center, and this was as good of one as any. She tried to calm herself with his deep breaths, slowly becoming more ragged the longer they stood there. Was she having the same affect on him?

She didn't want to look up and see his face. Her current position was safe and it was calming. That was until Sasuke moved. He wrapped his arms around her and let his chin rest on the top of her head.

This urge to get close, to touch, to feel, to see... it was overwhelming him.

He hated that she could manipulate him so easily. Just a touch, a look, and he could be at her whim. Women who knew they possessed that kind of power were dangerous, but the ones who didn't have a clue were even more deadly. He wanted to know what was wrong with her; why she'd shown up at his door in that state, but he knew what she wanted in return for that information. She wanted to know what the Mizukage's proposition was.

_Honesty._

He sighed and tightened his grip around her. "She wanted me to work with her." He whispered, letting his hand slide down her back in a gesture that was meant to be comforting, though he didn't know if it had done its job. He would not tell Sakura about her other request, because even if he was considering the other half of the proposition, there was no way in hell that he was going to become that woman's _lover._

Sasuke felt Sakura's tiny hands tense up suddenly before lifting her head slightly, pressing her nose against his shoulder like she was staring behind him at something. "I had a dream that you left again. With the Mizukage." She murmured, her voice slightly muffled against his skin.

"I don't like carrots in my ramen." He said suddenly, as if telling her something about himself would put her mind at ease. She'd learned something new about him, though, and that was a plus.

"I sing in the shower." She whispered, sticking to the honesty they were holding.

"I hate yellow." Sakura smiled at that. Of course he did.

She paused, sliding her face down so her forehead was against his skin again. "I think you're arrogant. Full of yourself; cocky. And too quiet sometimes." If he wanted honesty, she would give it to him.

"You're impulsive." He countered. "And are intimidated by authority."

"As I should be. You on the other hand have some kind of superiority complex."

"You get too attached."

"Tactless."

"Whiny."

"I am _not _whiny." She muttered.

She felt a deep rumbling in his chest and almost gasped. Had Sasuke just... chuckled? He pulled her away from his body and took a step back, appraising her with curious eyes.

"I'll see you in the morning." He whispered.

Sakura was at a loss for words, but she nodded and took a step away sliding the door closed behind her. As she walked back into her room, she wanted to slam her head against a wall.

What the _hell _was that?

Had they just been joking around? Had Sasuke really just laughed at something? It had to be another dream... there was no way that Sasuke even knew how to laugh.

She flopped down on her bed, burying her face in the pillow and letting out a soft groan. What was she getting herself into? There was no way that she was actually starting to care about Sasuke again. Why was that even a possibility; she was supposed to hate him, despise him for everything he'd done to her.

But that had been before... now the only things he did were to protect her. Why couldn't he still do that but keep her at arm's length while he was doing it? All of this contact with him, it was driving her crazy.

She reminded herself that once they got back to Konoha, things would be different. There would be more space available to avoid him. The only reason she couldn't know was because he had volunteered to come with her; even if it was unwilling, he had saved her life.

He was the one that put her in danger in the first place.

"Damnit." She murmured, fisting her hands in her blankets and curling up into a ball. Why did everything have to be so confusing.

**xx**

When morning came, neither of them spoke, as if mentioning last night was taboo. But the quiet wasn't awkward, it wasn't that loud silence that sometimes occurs when there is a giant elephant in the room and no one wants to talk about it. This was a comfortable silence, and for some reason Sakura didn't like it.

Maybe it was because she realized something. Everything she was, he was the opposite. If she was loud, he was quite. If she got too attached, he was tactless. He had a superiority complex, maybe she had an inferiority complex. She was light, he was dark. Day and night. Two completely opposite people.

But then, opposites attracted, didn't they?

Sakura went to the Raikage to thank him for his hospitality before she and Sasuke left. It was time to go back to Konoha and face her fate. Tsunade would be pissed, Naruto might even be pissed, Kiba was sure to be angry, and god knows who else was upset with her for leaving unauthorized.

Sasuke was in for worse than her though. He was supposed to be kept under close watch; the fact that he'd gone along with her without consulting the Hokage first was a stupid idea, and she realized that she should have made him stay. The council would be pissed not only at him, but at her for allowing him to tag along.

But Tamaki was safe now, and Sakura had a bit of her pride in tact.

She couldn't help but think about the Mizukage. She wanted Sasuke to join up with her? And what, conquer the world? He belonged in Konoha; that's where he was born and that's where he should stay. Sakura should have asked him last night what his response was, but she'd been too close to him, her mind too muddled to think straight. Now she felt like an idiot.

What if he did decide to leave to join her? She would be a very powerful and influential ally, able to give the Uchiha name the power it once had. In Konoha that name was tarnished. Itachi and Sasuke had both betrayed their village. If he joined with her... he could bring a new light to the Uchiha status, regain its worth.

Was it bad that she really didn't want him to go for purely selfish reasons?

Even though there was a part of her that was independent and knew that she could more than handle herself in a fight, knowing that Sasuke was hell bent on protecting her was nice to fall back on. But if he was gone then that sense of security would be gone; Sasuke would cease to exist once again. And Sakura didn't want that, she decided.

That's why she was being selfish. She didn't want to be with him, but she didn't want him to leave and have the chance to be with someone else. He had to stay in Konoha, where she could watch him, where Naruto would be happy to have him there until he found his way back into society. Leaving now would only be him betraying his village once again.

Well, it wasn't a betrayal to the village, but it would be to her.

And that was a good enough reason for him not to do it.

Sakura almost liked it better when he was silent. Then at least she didn't have to hear the things that he was saying; the almost concerned things that he uttered to her. She wouldn't be feeling so concerned about him leaving again if he had remained an emotionless ice block. But lately he'd been showing a new side of him that she wasn't sure she was ready to accept yet.

When they did get back to Konoha, she was going to have to make some decisions. She could either distance herself from him and save herself from potential heartbreak, or just let things happen as they would.

Damnit.

**xx**

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><p><strong><em>Bazinga!<em>**

**_Another cutesy little moment mushed in there. Lets see where things head from here, shall we?_**

_Well. Naruto doesn't seem to happy. And can't imagine Tsunade's reaction when they two of them get back. Oh shitsnaps._

_-Your Faithful Reviewer_

_**But for realsies this time, I have an English paper to write, and as much as I like procrastinating by coming on this site, I need to focus. So... if I update... that means I'm not doing my work. Which, this one time, is a very bad thing.**_

_**-EM**_


	14. Be Grateful

_**So, this chapter officially marks the longest story I've ever written. Proud moment, proud moment. Again, thank you for your wonderful reviews! And again, I'm going to apologize for the delay, but life comes before this story unfortunately! I really wish I could just stay at home and write all day X3**_

_**-EM**_

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><p><em>"The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you<em>_."_

_-John E. Southard_

**My Darkness: Chapter XIV**

**Be Grateful**

**xx**

Sakura hesitated in front of the gates, sparing a look to Sasuke who was effortlessly holding his emotionless mask up. She did wonder though, if his outward mask portrayed the same feeling of calmness that he felt inside or if he was just very good at looking so nonchalant.

She knew the answer to that.

They were both going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble when Tsunade got to them, how could he not be the slightest bit worried? If anything, he should be panicking more than she was; he was already on an intense kind of probation and disobeying orders was not going to bode well for him.

Sasuke was the one to break her train of thought and started walking first, a surprised Sakura followed after him, shocked to see how eager he was to listen to Tsunade rant on about how stupid and irresponsible the mission had been. Not eager exactly, because Sasuke would never be mildly excited about anything, but he was prepared for the wrath that was sure to become both of them.

Well, she sure as hell wasn't.

Tsunade could be terrifying, even Naruto said that sometimes the Hokage scared him even more than Sakura did. Apprentice or not, Tsunade wouldn't let her get away from her punishment unscathed. Hell, she might even get it worse than Sasuke just because the Hokage felt like Sakura should have known better.

Sakura knew that it would take long for Tsunade to sniff them out and force them to join her in her office, and for once in her life she was ungrateful to be right. There were five shinobi altogether, stern eyes and tense muscles approached them, hesitating immensely around Sasuke as if he might blow up in their faces.

Even with an extra guard on him, Sasuke still seemed perfectly fine. Sakura on the other hand felt like she was sweating bullets. She'd never had to be escorted to the Hokage's office before, and trying to prepare herself for the scolding of her life on top of that was starting to kick her ass mentally.

They stood in front of her desk as the Hokage watched them both with level eyes. But Sakura knew that the level stare was only a cover up for the rage that was brewing behind it. She was pissed... she was very, very pissed.

Shizune stood in the corner, eyeing Tsunade like she was a time bomb just waiting to explode, and clutching Tonton to her chest like she was her shield. Things were not going to be good.

"Irresponsible. Rash. Ignorant. Foolish. There is a long list of things I could say to you, Sakura Haruno but I know that none of them would matter because given a second chance you would do the exact same thing." She wanted to retaliate and defend herself, but it was the truth, and so she stood still and quiet.

"You were to report straight back to me, Pakkun relayed my orders, did he not?" She rose a challenging brow, daring them to tell her that she was wrong and that they'd heard nothing.

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Sakura said, nodding her head once. She was going to have to be extra respectful if she wanted to get out of this with minimal punishment. Some form of punishment was inevitable, but maybe she could lessen the brunt of it with respect!

Tsunade turned to Shizune and gestured to Sasuke. "Wait outside with him in the hall." Shizune nodded and Sasuke followed her obediently to the door.

Maybe not. Maybe her punishment was going to terrible respect or not.

"Please explain to me why you thought it would be a good idea not to inform anyone of this. Why you attacked Kiba for information and left the village with someone who is still a big glaring question mark to us, Sakura. I've spent a long time trying to figure it out and still I've come up with nothing."

When Tsunade was really, extremely mad, she wouldn't throw tables and yell and scream, that was only when she was frustrated and upset. But when she was mad, Tsunade usually didn't yell. She spoke sternly, and with a look that could kill, but there were no projectiles or death threats. Because if you got the Hokage mad enough, you knew that some kind of terrible punishment was coming that would make an outburst look like a picnic.

"I wanted to save Tamaki, Hokage-sama. He was the mission target and it was my fault he was taken."

"Kiba told me about the attack." She muttered like it was a trivial matter. "Regardless of whose fault it was, you never should have taken Sasuke with you. You should have returned to me and we would have set up a team to retrieve him. Putting your life at risk accomplished nothing."

It was ironic that she was charging Sakura to save Sasuke from himself, and yet was now reprimanding her for taking him with her on her bizarre and irresponsible mission to retrieve the tea farmer. She was going to need to tread carefully.

"We saved Tamaki, Tsunade! How can you say we accomplished nothing?" She argued in a louder than she'd intended, instantly recoiling at the sight of her mentor's flared nostrils.

"You disobeyed my orders, Sakura. Purposely and without a valid cause. You know had you asked I would have said yes. I would have sent you with more protection." She scoffed and swirled her chair around, staring out the window. "Instead Sasuke decides to join you, violating his probationary terms. It's going to cause an upset with the council."

Sakura felt something clench around her heart. The council was ruthless, especially with Homura and Koharu at its head. It was obvious enough that neither of them trusted Sasuke, and this would give them cause enough to suspect that he was a loose canon; to deem him unsafe in Konoha.

"I made Sasuke go with me." Sakura said, clenching her hands into fists behind her back. "I threatened him, and made him go with me."

Tsunade whirled back around again, her brows knit together. "You what?"

"Sasuke's strong. I needed his powers and I needed to leave as soon as possible. He wanted to return and report our findings, but I made him leave. Don't blame him for this."

"Though I realize that the brunt of the blame falls on you, Sasuke isn't going to get out of this unscathed. He is more than capable of making his own decisions, and while you may have threatened him, he was free to do what was right. Instead he chose to follow you. Curious, that."

"I made him go with me." She repeated, meeting the Hokage's eyes.

Even if she didn't really make him, he'd tagged along because she was going in the first place. If she had listened to orders, if she hadn't been stupid and reckless neither of them would be in this mess. She would have received a slap on the wrist, some major downtime from missions and then it would be done with.

Tsunade ran a hand over her face and sighed, making a shooing motion at her apprentice. "I don't want to deal with you right now. Get to the hospital."

"Tsunad-"

"Go."

Without another word, Sakura left, a startled expression on her face. Either she wanted to speak with Sasuke first or Sakura was getting her punishment postponed. Which she didn't mind, but then being sent to the hospital? That wasn't much of a punishment at all. She practically lived there when the time called for it, so what did Tsunade have in mind?

**xx**

"I want to be furious, and I am, but not in the right way." Because Sakura was doing exactly what she needed to in order to save Sasuke. She lied to her own mentor in order to keep him out of trouble and if that wasn't progress she didn't know what was. However, the fact that she had openly disobeyed the rules and the fact that Sasuke had _willingly _gone with her was not to be excused.

Shizune nodded, letting Tonton down to the floor and watching with a slight smile as the pig trotted around. "I know what you're thinking."

The Hokage sighed and waved her hand at her assistant. "Let him in. Might as well get some yelling over and done with."

Sasuke didn't hear everything she was sayi- yelling. But from the look on her face and the vein that was protruding above her temple inclined him to believe that none of it was good. She would stop occasionally, her nostrils flared as she glared at him with eyes that he knew would make others tremble. But he wouldn't tremble; he never trembled.

That was for the weak and Sasuke Uchiha was anything but weak.

Except when Sakura was involved.

Which infuriated him to no end, knowing that he could take an entire army on himself and yet be proven weak and at the mercy of a woman.

"If what Sakura says is true, though I find it increasingly hard to believe, then I will speak to the council."

The mention of the pink-haired kunoichi caught his attention, and he found himself trying to listen. "What did she say." Not a question. Because an answer was never optional, it was demanded.

"She explained that none of this was your fault. That it was her decision and her decision alone to go after Tamaki, and she forced you to go with her. She said she threatened you."

Sasuke nearly scoffed at the idea of him feeling threatened by Sakura. Weak, yes, but never threatened. He wondered if there was some deep purpose to her saying this, or if she was trying to make herself feel powerful. Was he meant to go along with what she was saying or should he set the Hokage straight.

The Hokage smirked then and nodded to Shizune. "Your punishments will be dealt with tomorrow. For now," she stood up and motioned him over. "Hold out your hands."

He grimaced as the Hokage fastened two thin chakra blocks on his wrists. That was punishment enough in his mind; not being able to flex his chakra when he wanted to, incapacitated if there was an attack. He was always on alert; there was no way to feel completely safe, not with the life he was leading.

"It's just to give the elders peace of mind." She said, sitting back down in her seat and shooing him away. "Get out of my sight."

He wasn't going to make her ask him twice. If his punishment was being delayed, he wanted to stay as far away from Tsunade as possible until it was. But what was he going to do? Run from her until tomorrow? There would be anbu guarding his house again, and as much as he knew he could do it, there would be no fighting them. At least not with chakra blocks on.

That didn't matter though. What mattered was that he gave Sakura a piece of his mind. Why had she done that? He didn't want her protection, and she shouldn't have given it without asking. He could take care of himself; if he hadn't proven that over the years then he was doing something wrong.

Damn her for making him feel like a child that needed her help. Never again. He should have set the Hokage straight when he had the chance. But saying so now would do nothing.

It wasn't supposed to work that way. She wasn't supposed to be the one protecting him; he had made it part of his duty to be that person to her. To be the one keeping her out of harm's way. How was he doing a good job if Sakura was having to save his ass?

There was no doubt in his mind that he should have stopped her from going, but he knew that his words would have had no effect on her. She was too strong minded for that. There was also no way that he could have let her go off on her own. If anything that would have only made his return less welcome by the Hokage.

It was all too complicated to be dealing with for one woman.

**xx**

Sakura was surprised to find that she wasn't even given the dirtier jobs in the hospital. Instead, she was sent to her office to sort through some of the paperwork that had accumulated in her absence.

She still hadn't adjusted to having her own office. Having people knock on her door for help. She had a spot of power and yet she'd still felt intimidated by the other ladies in the hospital. She'd hid in a _closet_ for crying out loud.

The paperwork seemed like punishment enough, after she'd glanced at most of it. She was going to have to put all of the records on file, and then go to each of the rooms on her floor and put the folders in the corresponding slots on the doors and then check up on each of the patients and record their progress. The entire process took about four hours; long enough for Sakura to wish that Tsunade would be feeling merciful tomorrow. It may just be paperwork, but if Tsunade decided that she was banned from missions, if tomorrow was going to mean the dirty jobs in the hospital, she would take the paperwork any day.

Sakura had been banned from missions too often lately, and it wasn't good for her. She was anbu. And as much as she loved being in the hospital, she needed to be out kicking ass.

Not that she'd done much of that lately. The only time she'd been prepared to fight Sasuke had decimated an entire hallway of people. Without even batting an eye. It was almost embarrassing to admit that she had been truly afraid of him when that happened. It didn't matter that he was doing it to protect her, the fact that he wielded the power to massacre such a large group of people without even thinking about it was intimidating.

Everything about him intimidated her. The memories she had of him were intimidating; the looks he cast her way, intimidating, his presence intimidating. She shouldn't be letting herself feel like that around him. She wanted _him _to be scared of _her _so he knew that there would be no fucking around with her emotions this time. Not again.

But it had been happened already, hadn't it? They'd been so close too many times, his breath had tickled her skin, she'd been close enough to feel his heartbeat and those moments had been enough to send her mind reeling with possibilities and consequences.

With a frustrated sigh she let her head fall to her desk, ignoring the sharp pain as it made contact and almost laughing at herself for letting it happen. It was a jolt back to reality; like getting someone to pinch her. But instead she was letting her head slam on her desk.

Reality was what she was going to have to face tomorrow when Tsunade's real claws came out. She still needed to inform Tsunade of Orochimaru's involvement with those men. With another frustrated sigh she forced herself up; the Hokage would even been more angry because she'd been reluctant to tell her earlier today. She should have, it would have been the clear and obvious thing to do but the wrath from her disobeying orders seemed bad enough. Now she was going to have to deal with twice the anger tomorrow.

Walking through the hospital made Sakura feel like she was parading around naked. It was clear that word had travelled already and she did her best to ignore the curious glances that the other women shot her way. She just wanted to get home and sleep until tomorrow came, those women could stuff their judgmental thoughts in a very uncomfortable place.

Just a quick trip home and she would be away from their watchful eyes.

Of course, a short trip with no disturbances would have been far too easy. There had to be someone waiting for her when she left the hospital; someone with a stern face and eyes that made her want to turn and run back inside.

Sakura stopped in front of him, hoping that he would say something, do _something _other than stare at her with that calculating gaze.

"You told the Hokage that you forced me to go." He said suddenly. She scoffed and started walking again. She hadn't been home in almost two weeks, and she knew that her warm bed would be beckoning to her. "Why." He demanded.

"You know, I wouldn't be totally against a thank-you." Sakura muttered, continuing on the path to her house. She knew he was following her, and she could only imagine the looks people were going to be giving them at the sight. The women of Konoha listened to enough rumors to know the state she had been in with Sasuke when they left for the mission. Seeing them together would give them a lot to talk about.

"I didn't want your help." He said in a low, angry voice that made her want to smack him.

She whirled around and would have hit him in the jaw with her fist had he not moved in time. "And what makes you think that I wanted yours?" She countered, taking an angry step towards him. "You gave me no choice, and so I'm not going to give you any either."

"I was saving your life, Sakura. It's completely different."

"It is _not_!" She yelled, advancing again and making him take a startled step back. "If I hadn't lied to her you wouldn't have been sent away with chakra blocks on. You would be in a cell! You would have a meeting with Ibiki and probably the council again! And do you know what would happen? They would say that you're untrustworthy. That you're just going to keep breaking the rules and I'm not going to be there to get them to spare you." She hissed, jabbing a finger into his chest. "For once in your life, Sasuke, be thankful for what I did and move on."

She froze after she said that, a painful memory blinding her vision and blocking out all other senses.

_"Sakura..." he whispered. "Thank you for everything."_

No, she didn't want any thanks from him anymore. Thank yous from him only led to pain and heartbreak. She knew that he rarely ever said it to anyone; he didn't want to be in debt with them, didn't want them to have something to hold over his head. Her eyes landed on his, fury forgotten, and wondered for a brief moment what he would say to her now if he left again. She still didn't understand why he'd thanked her the first time, and didn't even want to think about there being a second time. Naruto was kind of happy to have him back, and though she didn't really want to admit it she was as well.

Sasuke watched her with calm eyes, like he was waiting for her fury to disperse, which was probably the better idea. With a few calming breaths, she dropped her hand and took a step away, shaking her head. "You know, sometimes you need to realize when you need help, and accept it when it comes."

She turned away from him then, and wasn't surprised at all when he didn't follow her or make any more protests. She like to think that he had been the intimidated one in that scenario, at least for once.

All she wanted now was her bed and sleep. No Sasuke, no Tsunade, no nothing but her. She wanted to be selfish for a little while and focus on what _she _wanted.

But what she wanted was relive the moment with Sasuke when they were honest. When she'd been in his arms and didn't feel completely terrified about it. No, that wasn't completely true. She was still terrified, but only because she felt so comfortable there. How did he go from the flash of gentleness she'd seen to this ungrateful twit?

**xx**

"Soon." He muttered, watching the candle cast flickering shadows against the dark walls of the room.

"How soon." His associate hissed, growing more impatient at each passing day. If they wanted to succeed at all they were going to need to act fast. Konoha had already discovered and destroyed the brunt of their Second Division.

"When he's ready." The first man said back, still completely calm despite the enraged state of his accessory. That's all he was. An accessory that he would gladly dispose of when his usefulness ran its course. "Good things come to those who wait."

The other man looked unsteady on his feet as the imfamous Sharingan landed on him. It wasn't just the eyes either, it was the man behind them. He was twisted, corrupt, and though he thought he methods just, they were anything but. Yes, they shared the same views, but there were other ways of going about it. Ones that didn't rely on an eighteen year old boy. Powerful or not, he was still impressionable, and risking the prospect of someone changing his mind was too much.

It could ruin everything they'd been building.

If he had any say in the matter, they would drag that idiot back under their watch until the time was right. It was careless of them to let him out of their sight. Ready or not, they needed to start moving or it was going to be too late.

**xx**

_"While we are free to choose our actions,_

_we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions."_

_-Stephen R. Covey_

**xx**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Ah, it's kind of short and is rather pointless until the end. BUT HEY, THE NEXT CHAPTER SHOULD BE GOOD, NE?<em>**

_Oh snap, I can only imagine how terrifying Tsunade would have been. AHH.  
>And who are these mysterious men? WUT DEY WANT?<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Your Faithful Reviewer_

_**I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO RIDICULOUSLY LONG. SORRY. SEW SAHRRY.**_

_**-EM**_


	15. Unravel

_**Readers. Let it be known that I love you. That is all.**_

_**-EM**_

* * *

><p><em>"There is always something that once built to its maximum potential, another being can unravel."<em>

_-Author Unknown_

**My Darkness: Chapter XV**

**Unravel**

**xx**

Sakura was banned from missions until further notice and Sasuke was due for another meeting with the council. When Sakura informed Tsunade of Orochimaru's involvement, she knew that things were going to be headed in a steeper downward trajectory than before. The Hokage had stopped mid-rant and twisted her face into a snarl, narrowing her eyes at the two of them.

To be honest, Sakura found that she didn't care much about being banned from missions when Sasuke was on another metaphorical teeter totter. She'd saved him once, but just like she'd predicted, she wouldn't be there to defend him in front of the council. Tsunade hadn't stated whether or not this meeting would be like the first; whether or not it would be his life on the line again.

It didn't matter, because in the long run it was still her fault. Lately, everything had been. Tamaki's kidnapping. Sasuke's sudden massacre in that base.

And it was for those reasons that she was slowly building up confidence to go and apologize to him. Naruto wasn't due back for another few days, so it wasn't like she had anything better to do. She hadn't seen Naruto since the night before she'd left on the mission with Sai, Kiba and Sasuke. That had been nearly a month ago! But he had been forced to leave for another mission the day she'd returned back, some kind of follow up to the one he had previously been on. He and Kakashi had left that morning, and so she'd been alone for two weeks, waiting for their return.

Now there was literally _nothing_ she could do. Tsunade had even gone so far as to ban her from working in the hospital, a punishment Sakura suspected was added after the Orochimaru point was brought to the table. Some people might think that it wasn't a punishment at all, and hey, if Sakura wasn't a shinobi she would have been ecstatic to lay around all day. But there was always a mission to go on; always someone to help in the hospital. Now she was just supposed to sit there and train all day? It wasn't that she minded training, but the only people she seemed to be able to spar with lately were Shikamaru, Lee and Hinata. They were all formidable opponents, and Sakura felt like it was a huge victory if she beat any of them, but fighting the same three people over and over again was getting static.

It was killing her.

She had to remind herself that she'd had it coming though. She knew her actions were indeed stupid and careless but she couldn't let Tamaki remain a large glaring question mark for the rest of her life, unsure whether he was alive or dead.

Which reminded her of the apology she was going to have to make to the current giant question mark soon.

Sasuke.

She wondered how he was faring in the house Tsunade had graciously let him stay in. It was in the Uchiha compound, and she was itching to know how he felt about it. Had he closed himself off enough with Orochimaru that the massacre didn't bother him anymore? No, even if he had closed off most other emotions, she assumed there would always be pain when he thought of his family. It was the event that sparked his revenge; the event that forced him on to the path to Orochimaru.

"Sakura!" She looked behind her, so absorbed in her thoughts that she forgot she was getting ready to spar with Hinata. Sasuke would have to wait. "Are you ready?"

She responded with a nod, and took a deep breath, readying herself to defend from the inevitable 64 points Hinata would try to start with. That was another problem with sparring the same people; she was starting to learn their techniques, and it was getting too repetitive.

Hinata came at her quickly and with no reserve. They could both heal themselves and even if Hinata had trouble, Sakura was there to help, so as long as no critical injuries were inflicted, they went all out in their spars.

She threw her forearms up, blocking her friend's fists and occasionally trying to land a kick when she drew back. Hinata was always fast, but Sakura found that today she was extremely alert and prepared for the advances, guarding when she needed to and attacking when she found an opening. Hinata seemed hesitant, like she was trying to plan something else that required a bit of planning, and Sakura forced chakra to her fingertips, watching the thin blue scalpels as they elongated to the size she needed. They wouldn't hurt Hinata, but if they hit they would block the flow of chakra.

Which was enough to incapacitate her and end the spar.

With a determined expression, Sakura charged at the Hyuuga heiress. It seemed like a good day to win.

**xx**

It was sunny, though he found that there was a lack of wildlife around. Maybe it was something about him; an air that he held that sent any form of life running away. He was noticing things like this because he wasn't sure how much longer he would be there to absorb it. He'd had two weeks to prepare himself for the council meeting, and still he'd come up with the same results.

They could have him killed this time. Sakura was right.

And for some reason it bothered him. When he first returned, death didn't phase him; didn't scare him at all. It was something that arrived for every single person that had the chance to live. But now he was feeling that it was too soon, that there were things he still needed to accomplish. However, he had no idea what those goals were. Did some part of him want the entire world to be at the mercy of his power? Or was it something smaller than that?

Something was incomplete, and he had yet to figure out exactly what it was.

Sasuke didn't know how he'd come to arrive at the training grounds, inconveniently around the area Sakura was sparring in. His feet had just moved, and it almost bothered him that this is where he'd taken himself. But he couldn't leave, not when she was fighting; he had to see her in action.

Sasuke watched her spar with mild fascination. Sakura had changed so much. It seemed that every time he turned his back there was something new to learn about her; something he hadn't thought existed. For example; the chakra control she had to possess in order to elongate those chakra scalpels and mold them into the form she desired... well it was a feat that a lot of people underestimated until they tried it themselves. To think that helpless Sakura had been able to master that... it was... impressive.

He found himself marveling at the grace with which she fought. She was determined and focused, moving in such a languid manner that he almost smiled. She looked so at ease, and yet he knew sparring a Hyuuga was bound to be exerting. It was clear that her sharp eyes were anticipating all of Hinata's moves, and though she was taking the brunt of the force behind them, it didn't seem to be phasing her.

He shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't help but picture the twelve year old girl he'd left behind. The one that needed to be looked after; the one that he had dismissed to be doing office work for the rest of her life. She'd had some of the top marks in the academy back then, but when it came down to the physical aspects she never stood out. She was nothing more than mediocre. But now he was eating his words.

Anbu was nothing to joke about, but he had to see it to believe it. _Sakura _was Anbu. She would be a fair match for anyone, he could tell. He'd heard rumors that she'd been the one to kill Sasori, but he dismissed them to be fake. Seeing it with his own eyes now; seeing her speed and dexterity, he realized the promise she held to fight in a real battle. He wanted nothing more than to see her fight when her life was on the line.

Though he never wanted her to be put in that position. Not while he was there.

She started on the offensive now, moving like a cat and slinking around the Hyuuga, trying to get behind her or get close enough to hit one of her chakra points. Chakra scalpels still extended, he was surprised at how long she was able to hold them for. Though he suspected that as a medical ninja, Sakura had an enormous amount of chakra, stored for use when she needed it.

Which was another thing he was surprised to see. Sakura was a medic ninja, and yet her on the offensive against Hinata was still clearly a danger. Normally the medics were forbidden from entering a battle; they were to focus on defending themselves and being ready to heal their teammates. Yet Sakura knew exactly what to do, where to be, and how to surprise her opponent.

Which is what she'd just done.

He wasn't sure how long they'd been sparring for, but Sakura had just appeared behind Hinata, cutting of the chakra supply to her arms. However, the Hyuuga seemed to shift in place, without really moving to the human eye, and was able to defend one of her arms from Sakura's scalpels though the other now hung limply at her side.

It would be an easy win for Sakura now. She could finish her and emerge victorious.

But the two kunoichi ended their spar then, and Sakura went to Hinata's side to heal the damaged chakra flow she had created. He could see them smiling and laughing, see _Sakura _smiling and laughing, something he hadn't had the privilege of witnessing in such a long time.

After a few minutes, Hinata left with a wave, and Sakura was left alone at the edge of the clearing.

She slumped down to the ground, leaning against a tree trunk and emitting a very clear sigh. After a brief glance down at her hands she turned her chin up, looking at the sky filtering through the sparse foliage of the tree shading her.

There was no snow on the ground in Konoha; he didn't think there ever had been, but it was cold out and the frigid weather was enough to make some of the leaves fall to the ground. It was the only sign of winter that ever really showed. Konoha was similar to Suna in that way; never a true snowy winter.

Sasuke's feet were moving again without him really comprehending what was happening. However, he didn't seem to mind where they were leading him; right to Sakura. He approached her cautiously, wondering if she could sense him and was just ignoring it, or if she was so in her own world that she hadn't noticed at all.

Her eyes were closed and there was a small smile on her face. Carefree, oblivious. She should have been on alert; there could be an enemy lurking around anywhere. Maybe that was just him being paranoid; it had happened often enough to him. Right when he got comfortable, something would interrupt his reverie and he would be forced into battle.

Sasuke stopped in front of her and crouched down, appraising her with curiosity. He knew now that behind those small hands there was a power that could probably send him flying across the field. Absentmindedly, he rested his hand on top of hers, smirking as her eyes snapped open and she jumped up, a kunai readily in her hand.

She let out a visible breath at the sight of him, relieved. "Sasuke." She said, raising an eyebrow as he stood as well. "What are you doing out here?"

He paused, and his eyes; not to mention the emotions that she could almost see behind them, sent a shiver down her spine. There was something different there, like something new had sparked in his head. His eyes were portraying a more fervent curiosity about her than before, and below that, she could see the dark shade of something else. Something that made her heartbeat quicken in anticipation.

The part of her that knew what might happen with him so close took a step back, only to be met with the hard wood of the tree. Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe she should let things happen as they would, just like she'd promised herself. This just wasn't the outcome she had expected when she imagined letting things fall where they would. She assumed they would drift apart when they returned from their missions. They more or less had, to be honest; she hadn't seen Sasuke for almost two weeks until that moment.

But he was there, right in front of her, so close that she could feel his breath against her skin when he exhaled.

"Sakura, you-"

"I'm sorry." She blurted suddenly, her eyes landing on the chakra blocks encircling his wrists. She reached out to touch them and sucked in a quiet breath when Sasuke's fingers snagged her own, holding them between their bodies.

"For what?" He asked, eyes level with hers.

Was it not blatantly obvious to him that she was the reason he was in those terrible restraints? Did it not occur to him that if she'd decided to stay in Konoha, neither of them would be in the trouble they were?

"Everything! Everything is my fault, I-"

He took a step closer and Sakura found the words dying in her throat. "I chose to go with you." He murmured into her ear, lips grazing her skin. "To protect you." Lips ran along her cheek, leaving a fiery path behind them. "Like I always will."

He pulled away suddenly, startled as he came across the tears that had passed down her cheeks. Sasuke cautiously brought his free hand up to brush away the tear tracks, the touch warm, gentle, and unsure, his hand lingering there afterward. Sakura closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, trying to calm her heart and stop her tears.

They weren't tears of sadness, not by a long shot, though they weren't tears of joy either. They were tears of relief and confusion and so many other things that were hard to describe. Sasuke had been the object of her affection for the majority of her childhood, and when he'd left she'd more or less written him off as a suitable person to envy. He betrayed his village, tried on more than one occasion to kill his friends. But he was here now, and it seemed so right and fitting. So why was she filled with so much doubt?

He bent his head down closer to hers, bringing his free hand up to rest on her cheek. Every inch he moved, he stopped, waiting for her to either respond to his advances or reject him altogether. He was making it very clear that she had a choice in this; he wasn't going to force himself on her. If she wanted him then great, but she was free to deny what he was offering. Just a kiss... he only wanted one kiss.

Warm, soft lips pressed against hers in a gentle motion. The kiss was chaste, fleeting, and made her insides flutter. But she wasn't sure how to respond, the shock of how gentle he was being overwhelmed her. She couldn't find it in her to kiss him back. She didn't want to open up to him again only to have him cast her away... leave her on a bench.

But it was different this time; at least she wanted to think so. If he wanted to leave her again, there would be no stopping him, and she would move on. Just like she'd done the first time. It would hurt, but it wasn't impossible. She wouldn't leave a part of her heart open for a bastard like that.

So then what was stopping her from responding?

He pulled away from her, though his lips were still unbearably close and she became acutely aware that the slightest movement would bring them back to hers. Which was what she seemed to want. She was stronger this time. She had matured... no longer wanting to follow him around like a stray puppy. That was the old her. The new her was strong and confident. She could handle this.

Hell, Sasuke had just kissed her. What the hell was she doing?

She brought her hands up to his chest, ready to push him away and run back to the village. Which was exactly what he was expecting, as his chest deflated and he seemed ready to turn away. But instead of running, Sakura made the decision to stay there with him and let things slide into the places they were meant to go. She slid her hands to the back of his neck, bringing his lips back to hers.

She didn't care that the voice in her head was still telling her to run. She didn't care about all of the complications this kiss could create. And most of all, as their lips slanted against each others, she didn't care that she knew this would be her undoing. Because it was very clear that her body wanted this. That it felt incomprehensibly right.

Slowly, she felt her entire being start to unravel. As if before she had been covered in a layer of paper, waiting for the right person to come and peel the layers away; diminish the hard exterior she'd been trying to hold up. And with only his lips, Sasuke was doing just that.

Unraveling her.

And she didn't want him to stop.

She found him pressing her more forcefully against the tree trunk, his hands sliding down to her waist. She was surprised at how much she was enjoying the rough feel of his hands as he grazed some exposed flesh by her hips. She was surprised at how much she was enjoying the entire thing and she wondered if Sasuke was feeling the same. There was still a distinct nagging feeling in the back of her mind that this was all a game to him. That none of this would matter to him in the long run. He was living in the moment, but when the time came to face things, he would run.

Just like she'd been running.

Sasuke abruptly pulled away and brought his head right next to hers. He was panting, they both were, and his dark hair hung loosely around his face. He looked good flushed and disheveled like that, the part of her brain that was still capable of functioning noticed.

"Naruto," he said with a disappointed pant.

"Who cares about Naruto?" Sakura muttered, leaning in to kiss him again.

Sasuke stopped her by bringing his hand up to cup her cheek and moving a bit further away. "No, I mean Naruto is _coming_, any second now and Kakashi is right behind him," he said, breathing still slightly off.

"Oh?" was all Sakura could come up with in her dazed condition.

After a moment, her brain rebooted.

"Oh!" she responded standing up straight. Naruto wasn't supposed to be due back for another few days though, so what was he doing there already? Those thoughts were there, but the ones at the foreground in her mind were taking control. She and Sasuke had just kissed. _Kissed._ And probably would be still if Sasuke wasn't so good at sensing people.

The terrible thing, at least for the sensible part of her, was that she wanted to do it again. Over and over again. Because it wasn't just a kiss. It was something much more deep and entangled in a web that was already too late to get out of.

Sasuke took a step away, the absence of his lips and hands sending a shiver down Sakura's spine. Even if they weren't kissing, what would Naruto and Kakashi think when they saw the two of them alone together? With one last longing look, they both realized what needed to happen. They couldn't be seen together. No one could know what had just transpired.

"You have to go." She whispered sullenly, watching as he nodded and disappeared into nothing but a blur.

What would they do the next time they saw each other? That was the big question that was blocking everything else out. Yes she wanted it to happen again, but they both had too much emotional baggage to take care of. They wouldn't be able to deal with each other, whether she thought she could handle it or not.

But he'd made his mark on her heart already, in mere minutes. She was determined not to let it affect her too much. She wouldn't let her emotions get the best of her. He had still betrayed her. He was still on probation. He wasn't completely trustworthy yet, no kiss was going to fix that.

"Sakura!" Naruto shouted, a huge grin on his face as he entered the clearing.

She put a smile on her face as well, preparing herself for the Naruto hug that was sure to follow. "Naruto!"

His hugs were always the best. That of a best friend that could comfort you in the worst of situations. Which was perfect for what her mind was going through at that moment. Millions of possibilities that she didn't even want to think about were running through her mind, and Naruto was the perfect cure.

His happiness was brief however. Though he was happy to see her, it was clear that he'd been informed of her actions and was now ready to give her the best scolding he could muster. Which was close to nothing. Naruto didn't get mad at her, and he sure as hell didn't have it in him to scold her like a bad puppy. He only ever got frustrated with her, and sometimes she knew he wanted to do nothing more than knock some sense in to her.

That was one of those moments.

"You took Sasuke with you? _Sasuke_?" He snorted and shook his head. "When would that ever be a good idea?"

"I made him go with me, Naruto. He had no say." She was getting very sick of people nearly laughing in her face when she said that. It was getting harder and harder to not sock them in the jaw. "It's the truth, Naruto." She hissed, silencing him with a look she knew he was terrified of.

"You knew that Tsunade would have approved the mission. I know you knew that. So why risk your life? Why risk Sasuke betraying you?" He wanted to trust his old friend, he really did. But Sakura's life was more important than that trust.

"I needed his strength." She muttered. Her lie had been well rehearsed, and the more she said it the more she could almost believe it to be true. However, the reality of how the situation had gone down was much more important to the part of her that was trying to figure things out. He'd known the consequences of tagging along with her, and yet he'd risked them anyways. All to protect her.

Anger mostly forgotten, Naruto let out a sigh and flopped down on the grass shaking his head and watching the clouds above them. "Do you love him?" He asked suddenly, his eyes watching her like a hawk.

She sat down on the grass beside him and let out her own sigh, gripping a wad of grass in her hand. She didn't love him, that much was evident, but it was very clear to her that she felt something. That there _was _something there. But no, it wasn't love. It would never be love. Sasuke was the reason that she was so terrified of letting other people in. He was the reasons she had closed herself off.

"I don't believe in love, Naruto. Not anymore." She whispered, chewing on her cheek. "Now I just like the sound of it." Love was definitely out of the question. Maybe if he asked her again in the future when there was more time to consider everything she could provide him a more detailed answer of why that was so. Maybe by then someone would have claimed her love and she could tell him that no, she wasn't in love with Sasuke, but with someone else.

But maybe, maybe the wounds left on the heart could only be healed by the person who made them.

**xx**

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><p><em><strong>Et voila, mes petits amis.<strong>_

_Sweetie, when an Uchiha kisses you, you don't think about it. You just kiss back. BUT NICE CHAPTER. I'M REVIEWING BECAUSE I READ IT AND WANT TO REVIEW BECAUSE I KNOW THAT GETTING REVIEWS MAKES YOU HAPPY! I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF READER WOULD I BE IF I JUST LEFT YOU WITHOUT A REVIEW? HOW CRUEL WOULD THAT BE?_

_Sincerely,  
>Your Faithful Reviewer<em>

_**:3 **_

_**-EM**_


	16. Alive

**_Now almost 200 reviews. You guys are amazing and I really can't thank you enough for the support you've given me._**

**_-EM_**

* * *

><p><em>"Finding the person that is right for you; finding the love you need, is largely the art of persistence."<em>

_-Julins Gordon_

**My Darkness: Chapter XVI**

**Alive**

**xx**

The council meeting had finally arrived.

She'd been stressed for the first meeting, but now she felt even more panicked. She wasn't allowed in there to hear what there were saying; she wasn't going to have the chance to change their minds.

It wasn't like he'd harmed anyone on the mission. He hadn't turned against her. In fact he had done nothing but protect her the entire time. They wouldn't be able to kill him for that. One disobeyed rule wasn't the end of the world. Who cared if he was on probation? Sakura only hoped that her lie was enough to help him in there.

But in her mind state, she was wondering if lying was really the best thing to do. Would he have been seen in a different light if she'd told them that Sasuke wanted to protect her? Had she sentenced him to death without even knowing it?

Naruto leaned against the wall beside her as she paced, watching as the busy streets of Konoha continued on with their business like there was no life or death trial going on. Not that they knew. But it was the only thing she was able to think about and she couldn't understand how Naruto was being so calm about it. It was driving her insane knowing that on the other side of the wall their former teammate was having his fate decided. Again.

"Hey, Sakura?" Naruto asked, wanting to gain her attention. He needed her to focus on something else; anything else. He knew she was nervous. The pacing, the wringing of the hands, the tugging at the hem of her shirt... they were all tell-tale signs that his best friend had something eating away in her head.

"Yeah?" She stopped momentarily to look at him like she was expecting some kind of speech to make her feel better. He didn't have any of those. That's not what he was here for. No, he didn't want Sasuke to be killed, and if that was the consensus when the meeting was over then he would sure as hell speak his mind. But worrying about him now when there was nothing they could possibly do wasn't helping anyone.

"You need to calm down."

She opened her mouth to speak, probably to protest against the accusation that she was nervous, but seemed to think better of it. With an exhausted sigh, she ran a hand over her face and sank down to the floor beside Naruto, fisting her hands in her hair. "This sucks."

With a chuckle, Naruto dropped down beside her and slung his arm around her shoulders. He knew exactly how she was feeling. Unable to do anything when someone's life was on the line. Someone they knew. Someone they used to be close with. As shinobi it was hard to get used to the idea of being useless. "I know."

There were footsteps echoing down the hall and the two shinobi were instantly alert. Was the meeting finished? Was someone leaving the room now to tell them about the outcome? Her hand unconsciously gripped Naruto's arm as the steps got closer. "Oh god." She whispered, her heart hammering in her chest. She just wanted to know what had happened. She had to know!

It was Sai.

He put on one of his fake smiles and raised a hand; his version of a wave.

"Sai?" Naruto asked, just as confused as Sakura. "What are you doing here?"

Even if Sai had heard of the meeting, he wasn't one to care about the outcome when it didn't particularly involve him. He wasn't nervous like they were; everyone knew enough about him to realize that the little emotions he showed were restricted to forced facial expressions. He and Sasuke were so eerily similar sometimes it was enough to scare Naruto a little bit.

He wondered what Sasuke had thought of him on the mission. Did he notice how similar they really were or did he write the guy off as nothing more than another Konoha shinobi. Was he aware that Sai was the one who took his place on Team 7?

Sai stopped in front of them and shrugged. "You said we were all friends. Proper etiquette dictates that I be there when my friends are nervous and or sad."

"I'm not.." Sakura started, but again shut her mouth and pressed her hands against her face. Who was she trying to fool? She was nervous as hell.

"Thanks, Sai." Naruto replied. Sai took a seat next to them on the ground, watching the wall in front of him with an innate fascination. They'd never been able to figure out what was really going on in Sai's mind. Which was again a similarity he shared with the Uchiha. But, they were glad that he'd shown up to be of some support nonetheless. It was a wonder how he sorted out his priorities sometimes; one day you'd seem a waste of his time and the next he was showing up to be supportive.

Naruto had really made him see the whole friendship/teamwork thing.

Maybe he could get Sasuke to see it as well. Maybe things could return to normal, with an added Sai and hopefully sans that awkwardness Sakura was feeling about their kiss.

Oh God, that kiss.

It was a heart-melting, knee-buckling, breathtaking kiss. There was no denying that much. But it wouldn't help anyone if she sat there and did nothing but dwell on it. It wouldn't help Sasuke, it wouldn't help her nerves, and Naruto would probably smack her upside the head. However, it was one memory that she didn't think would ever get out of her head.

It wasn't her first kiss, not by a long shot, but it was her most meaningful. The one that she would probably remember for the rest of her life, even if the others faded away. Because hell, it was Sasuke.

Sakura didn't know how much time passed as they sat there, every noise putting her and Naruto on high alert, preparing themselves for the news that was to follow. She had a feeling that it was going to be bad news, though the extent of the badness, so to speak, was uncertain.

Would he be killed because of her foolishness? Or would they let him off with an extended probation?

She just wanted him to be okay. Get away without any physical harm like she had.

Kakashi was the one who walked down the hall first. Apparently they'd let him attend the Council meeting in the place of Shikamaru who had been otherwise engaged on a mission. Sakura was extremely glad for that. Sasuke had been Kakashi's student, he would write him off so easily.

He stopped in front of him, hands jammed in his pockets, surveying them all with his eyes. "Severe probation." He said, his eye crinkling at the corner.

She felt Naruto squeeze her hand and she let her head drop to her knees, letting out a sigh of relief.

**xx**

When the meeting was drawing closer, the elders had insisted he be kept under close watch, just in case he got any ideas about running away. Being under close watch apparently meant that Sasuke be quarantined in the hospital, just as he had been when he first arrived. There were two Anbu permanently stationed outside of his door and there were no visitors allowed. Not that he was expecting any.

The more comical part was when he was being escorted to the council meeting. The elders had requested that an entire squad accompany him to the Hokage Tower. Clearly he hadn't fully understood how much terror he had struck in the old hags.

Though his new reluctance to meet death was still there, he found that something had changed. He didn't know how, and he didn't know why, but he didn't want to die as much anymore. Itachi had murdered his entire clan to keep his village safe. Was he supposed to continue in Itachi's footsteps or despise the village that gave him the mission. He'd known the answer clear as day before, but now he was second guessing everything. Was he right to be in Konoha again?

From what he'd understood of politics in Konoha, they'd never let the Accused be present at the meetings. Apparently he was an exception. He listened to them banter back and forth, listening to everything they were saying. He was a strong threat, not to be trusted, the same things being tossed around. But then the Nara Clan Leader would pipe up and point out that Sasuke was intellectually superior, a genius, as it were, and the other members in the council would take a moment to mull over the new prospects.

He didn't like to owe anything to anyone, and really he didn't. But this Nara man, he was doing more for Sasuke now than anyone had. He would be the one to change their minds and see him as a tool they could use instead of one they should dispose of.

Sasuke didn't usually worry. It seemed like something that was associated with Konoha. In the village, there were people to worry about; things to worry about. Sakura, Naruto, the Council breathing down his neck. And if he was being honest with himself, he was worried about what their decision was going to be. Even with the Nara Clan leader vouching for him, the Elders seemed to be particularly scared of him. But he wanted to live. He wanted to live for...

_Her._

Because she was doing something to him that he didn't understand, and he needed to know what. Needed to figure out the feelings he had in his chest when he saw her. Needed to figure out what his goals were supposed to be.

"... be extreme probation."

He looked up, surveying the smug face of the Nara leader, and the enraged face of a Hyuuga.

Extreme probation? Was that what they were doing to him? No death? No exile? Extreme probation?

Relieved, he let himself be dragged from the room under the watchful eyes of two Anbu. He was safe. Alive. Able to complete his main mission; achieve the goal he'd been working for.

He was led down the hall, and he grimaced when he saw Kakashi. The man had sat there quietly through the entire meeting, not making any moves to save his life, but neither putting him down. He was completely neutral, which bothered him.

A blond head poked around Kakashi's shoulder and broke out into a grin, nodding once before turning back to Sakura. It wouldn't do him a lot of good to try and bombard the guy with a hug, so he remained where he was, nodding respectfully to the Anbu.

Then the replacement to Team 7 came into sight, hovering too close to the girl that was constantly on his mind.

It was Sakura's eyes that he met next. The bright green ones that seemed to always be smiling at him. She gave him a brief smile, and he though he saw her eyes start to shimmer with tears, but he dismissed it as his imagination.

Sakura wouldn't be crying for him.

His eyes unconsciously drifted down to her lips and a chill ran down his spine. He remembered in far too much detail how those lips had felt against his. And he knew that he wanted to feel them again.

He'd left so suddenly, Naruto's presence sending both of them into alarm. The incessant 'what if' in that situation was constantly plaguing his mind. What would they have done if there was no interruptions?

Sasuke had to physically force himself to look away from her and let the Anbu take him away. Where were they taking him in the first place? Back to the house in the Uchiha Compound? Or did they have another place in mind specific to his probation.

He didn't care.

He was alive.

And yet.. something was still missing.

**xx**

"Tsunade wanted me to tell you that your attendance at the meeting is mandatory." Naruto said with a lopsided grin. He knew how much she hated meetings, and clearly so did Tsunade. It was very obvious that forcing her to attend was a milder form of her punishment.

Sakura dropped her head into her hands. "Now she's just being cruel." As if restricting her from missions wasn't cruel enough. Making her attend a meeting that she wasn't really needed at? It was a briefing on the situation going on around Kumogakure and Kirigakure. She knew most of the details; Naruto had enlightened her and Kakashi had slipped a few details out when they were all out to lunch.

The bastards were still burning down villages; still roaming free with no one able to stop them.

It had been two days since Sasuke's trial, and she hadn't seen him once. Which was slightly depressing, but at the same time she didn't know what to say to him. Did she act like nothing happened? Or ask him to write down exactly what it was supposed to mean for her?

Meetings were always painful. She didn't know why Tsunade made her go.

"The problem is, Kumogakure shinobi have returned reporting that they've dealt with a large number of them and more seem to be showing up out of nowhere." Ibiki continued. She could already tell that the meeting was going to be long. Hell, it was Ibiki talking. Sometimes she wondered how he could take something so straight and to the point and make it endless.

Sakura resisted the urge to close her eyes. Though it was nice to be in her Anbu uniform after such a long time, she didn't like to stand in a giant hall with it. She wanted to be out in the field, kicking some unmarked shinobi ass. Not listening to Ibiki drone on about something she was already informed about.

She couldn't stress how much is sucked knowing that those men were out terrorizing villages and she was stuck in Konoha. She could be helping people, but instead she was grounded in village, hardly even allowed to work in the hospital. Tsunade should know that Sakura was useful. Yeah, she screwed up, but wasn't it more important to be saving the lives that the rogue ninja were trying to destroy?

"Sasuke Uchiha has been released into the city on very strict terms of probation. Two of you will be stationed with him _at all times_. We don't want to risk anything." Did that mean she was going to have to be his guard at some point? Or would Tsunade simply restrict her from that duty much like she was doing with everything else. "Regardless if you are on duty or not, you will all keep a very close eye on him."

She remembered how easily Sasuke had avoided his guards when he'd first returned to the village. Why did Ibiki think that this would be any different? It would be on Sasuke's shoulders though, to not evade them and simply do what he was told. If he wanted back in society, he was going to have to play nice.

**xx**

_Pain takes my heart's place_

_But your sweet, sweet love_

_Oh, I can taste it_

_Don't wanna face it_

**xx**

Sakura sighed, relieved that the meeting was over and she had her warm, comfortable bed to look forward to. She kicked off her shoes and tiredly stumbled into her room, tossing her mask carelessly into the corner. She reached up to release her hair from it's elastic and froze.

She wasn't alone.

There was someone here.. someone who's chakra was being hidden enough so she couldn't recognize it. Sakura let her hair fall around her shoulders, casually dropping her hands to her side without arousing suspicion. Her hand grasped a kunai from her weapon pouch and she whirled around, ready to attack the intruder.

A hand grabbed her forearm, preventing her from releasing the kunai and she gasped, startled as she recognized the face.

Sasuke..

Sasuke was in her room at this time of night, lurking in the darkness. She was too surprised to move, and so she didn't. She merely stared at him, locked in a gaze with his own onyx eyes, her lips parted in shock. What was he doing there...

They stood frozen, his hand still grasping her forearm, the kunai remaining in her hand. And in between them, she felt the tension. But she also felt the heat radiating off of his body, so close to hers, his lips.. just inches away. It was that feeling again.. the same feeling that plagued her six years ago when it was all she could do not to follow him around. But she wasn't like that any more. She reminded herself again that she was a strong, confident woman.

Just not when he was looking at her like that.

His eyes were smouldering, filled with so many questions and all she wanted to do was help him find the answers. Above all of that though, she wanted him to hold her, wanted to be encased in his strong arms and have him promise that he would never leave again.

Sakura lowered her arm, tucking the kunai safely into the pouch at her waist. He was always startling her; always taking her by surprise and one of those times he wasn't going to be able to stop her kunai. He took a step closer, and Sakura found herself unable to move, unable to do anything but watch him in surprise.

As his lips grew closer to hers, she could feel him hesitating again. As if their first kiss had been erased and they were starting new. But they weren't. Sakura still remembered that kiss perfectly. She remembered how gentle he had been then, and how soft his lips were. Even now, as he slid his free hand to put a slight pressure on the back of her neck, she remembered the feel of his slightly rough skin against hers. It had been intoxicating then, and was again now.

When he seemed ready to kiss her, he averted his lips, his forehead now bent to almost rest on her shoulder.

She didn't know how he'd gotten so close, and to be honest she didn't care. His hands hung limply at his sides, like a lost and confused child. Her delicate hands ran down the bare chest that Sasuke's dark Uchiha shirt revealed and she revelled in the light, tight moan that he held in the back of his throat. She allowed her hands to sweep up to the back of his neck, brushing the pale, soft skin there lightly with her fingers

"Sakura," he whispered, his voice husky and warm on her skin.

His lips brushed her cheek and she felt her eyes close at the contact. Being this close to Sasuke was still so new, and she wondered how long this shy, hesitant feeling would last. It was pleasant, to say the least. Sasuke was so gentle and careful, never pushing her too far, always giving her the room to decline. But she didn't want to anymore.

Even if that was the truth she was starting to believe, there was still doubt. She wanted to believe that Sasuke was the perfect man for her, and that everything he seemed to be was the truth. But when she looked at him, really looked at him, she could tell that what they had now was just barely scratching the surface. He was like a book with an amazing cover, one that she just couldn't wait to start reading. But there was a rule about never judging a book by its cover. She knew that the moment she read far enough into him so there was no way she would be able to put him down, there would be a twist of some kind and everything would change. By the last page, she would be left heartbroken.

But as his hands ran down the skin of her arms and moved to rest on her hips, that doubt faded away for the time being, though she knew the second she was alone with her thoughts they would resurface again to reprimand her for letting him be a distraction.

"Tell me to stop," he whispered as he caught her eyes, gazing into their emerald depths. He leaned forward until their noses were almost touching. "Tell me to stop," he repeated, breathing the words against her lips as he took her chin in his hands, "and I will."

Her gaze flicked down to his lips before returning to his eyes, feeling herself smile as he lightly brushed his knuckles against her cheek. It was all so tempting and yet so dangerous. Those words seemed to be the embodiment of the man standing before her. Unfairly alluring and precarious. If they kissed again, what would happen with them? Did he have some preconceived notion of how she would respond? Was he expecting something out of this that he wasn't telling her?

Sakura lowered her eyes and took a breath. "What does this mean?"

"It doesn't have to mean anything." He said softly, tilting her chin up. "But I want it to."

If someone had told her a year ago that such sweet words would ever leave Sasuke Uchiha's mouth, she probably would have laughed in their face before decking them for mentioning him. It just didn't make sense. The Sasuke she'd known six years ago was more or less emotionless, and would never concern himself with a woman. He was focused and determined and she felt like this person was his complete opposite. Everyone was different behind closed doors, but this... this Sasuke was enough to make her feel like her heart was melting.

She pressed her lips against his, deciding that for the time being, the risk was worth it.

After keeping her emotions bottled up inside of her, trying to deny them because she didn't want to have to face the heartbreak again, she let them loose. She wanted him. She'd wanted him since she saw him back in Konoha. Even though she hated losing control, she realized that it was okay right now. She trusted Sasuke.

Six years she spent hating him, and he returned for less than three months and the flame she had tried to extinguish reignited again. Now there was no blame or resentment. There was only an overwhelming need to get closer.

His hands traveled down to her waist, untying the katana strapped to her weapons belt and tossing it carelessly aside before throwing the rest of the belt with it. His fingers were feather light as they danced across her skin; his touch gentle and sweet, how he always was when they were alone. When she thought of Sasuke she thought of heat and passion and lust. But now, as he stood before her, she had to remind herself that he was capable of kissing her with a tenderness she wouldn't have thought he possessed.

He ran his hands down her arms, removing the white arm guards that every Anbu wore, casting them to the side and moving his hands back to her waist. His fingers curled under the chest guard, gently pulling it up and over her head.

Sakura didn't protest as he removed her armor, merely lifting her arms up to make the process easier, breaking their kiss for a few seconds as it was pulled over her head before claiming his lips again. She slid her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, relishing in the feel of his muscles even through the fabric of his shirt.

He pulled away from her again, tugging his shirt over his head and flinging it away. He grabbed her chin, running his thumb over her bottom lip and letting a small smile grace his features as she watched him. He made short work of threading a hand through her hair and bringing her face to meet his in a deliciously wanton kiss. He wrapped an arm tightly around her waist, lowering her down onto the bed behind her.

Her breaths were coming out ragged as he watched her, lifting his fingers to unzip her shirt, sliding it over her arms and throwing it to the ground with her armor. She sat before him in nothing but her anbu wrap. Not the uncomfortable bra that kunoichis would wear out, but one that they wore for battle. He pressed his lips to her neck, trailing light kisses from her collarbone to her jaw, then back down again. She shivered against his touch, tangling her hands in his black hair, burying him deeper against her skin before trailing her hands down his chest, tugging at the waistband of his pants, wishing them gone.

And he did what she wanted. He pulled them off, discarding them with their other clothes, claiming her lips with his own again. The heat was there; his body was tingling and burning for hers and he could feel her heart thrumming rapidly against his ribs as they sighed in pleasure; their bodies connecting in all the right places.

There was no real way to describe how she was feeling at that moment. She had Sasuke pressing kisses against the heated flesh of her body while she explored the muscular crevices of his, only thin fabrics separating them from what they wanted. What she had wanted so badly for six years.

Him. Just him.

"Sasuke..." she moaned as he nipped at the underside of her jaw. He let out a low hum of acknowledgement as his hands clawed at her waist and strained her closer.

She wanted him now.

They continued to undress each other until there were no more barriers. Just them in that moment, skin against skin. He captured her lips again and they lost themselves in each other. Moving in sync, moaning their names in complete bliss. The intensity of it all took him off guard, and he leaned his forehead in the crook of her neck, his hot breath coming out in puffs against her already sweating skin as he moved within her. He murmured her name in a low voice and she spared a look up at him, her eyes heavy with lust. His lips were parted in a silent moan and she found the sight of him stirring.

Sakura brought her mouth to his as he continued moving his body inside of hers, agonizingly slow so not to hurt her. She raked her nails down his back, earning a groan as he laced his fingers with hers before pinning them above her head. Finding herself in that restrained position was oddly satisfying; it seemed that in this situation she didn't mind Sasuke having complete control.

There was a warmth inside of her that continued to grow until she felt like it was going to burst out of her belly. She curled her toes in anticipation, readying herself for the wave of pleasure that was sure to follow. With a few more thrusts, Sasuke was at the same point as her, and he pulled her body against his, burying his face against her collarbone as they rode out their highs.

It was strange to him, feeling this much emotion because of one woman. But as he looked down at her, her eyes watching his in return as they tried to steady their breathing, he had an uncharacteristic realization. He... cared about her.

Pressing his lips against hers one final time, he collapsed onto the bed beside her, pulling her body against his as he tugged the blankets over top of them. He cared about her... but he was unsure. He knew that she was still hesitant to accept that there was an undeniable connection between them. She was still scared that he would hurt her again and there was only one thing that would ever be able to fix that, and it was something that they as shinobi didn't have a lot of.

Time.

Sakura let out a content sigh and closed her eyes. She'd just... having that connection with Sasuke was something that she'd unconsciously wanted since she'd been twelve. But now that it had happened, it didn't feel like it was supposed to. She knew that she had strong feelings for him, feelings that she'd been denying for so long. However she couldn't stop the thought from entering her mind.

What now?

What were they going to do now? They would never be a couple like Naruto and Hinata, never be completely comfortable with one another. There would always be the painful memory of what he'd done and it would stay with her.

But that hadn't just been mindless sex. There had been so many unwritten rules between them broken, so many feelings and emotions that neither of them knew existed that now lived between them. They would never be able to erase what they'd done, and Sakura didn't want to. She never wanted to forget about it, but there was no way they could be together like she'd wanted when she was younger. They both had too much baggage to be the cute couple that genin Sakura had always imagined.

And yet she didn't want to be without him either. When he was near... she felt safe. She felt... complete and she knew the only thing she wanted to do was help him. But when they were apart, she second guessed herself.

Would he hurt her again?

**xx**

_Pain takes my heart's place_

_But your sweet, sweet love_

_Oh, I can taste it_

_Don't wanna face it_

**xx**

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><p><strong><em>I'M SORRY. ONE MONTH WAS WAY TOO LONG AND I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY. Thank you for the messages I received encouraging me to update. Without those... well who knows, really.<em>**

_OMG. WHAT NOW. OMG.  
>Shame on you for not uploading in so long Muffin. SHAME, SHAME.<br>But __ZOMG SASUKE AND SAKURA. YUSS. _

_Sincerely,  
>Your Faithful Reviewer <em>


	17. Make Me Believe

_**I love my readers more than a fat kid loves chocolate cake. Which... is a lot. A lot, a lot. Over two hundred reviews. YOU GUYS ROCK. GAH. **_

_**-EM An extremely happy author. Because people are giving her awesome feedback on her story. LOVE YOU. ALL. ALOT.**_

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Pain takes my heart's place  
><em>The love we made<br>_We can't erase it  
><em>Don't wanna face it."<em>___

_-Erin McCarley_

_**My Darkness: Chapter XVII**_

**Make Me Believe**

**xx**

Sakura woke up, a small smile on her face that quickly turned into a sad frown after she realized what she had done. Yes, it had been amazing but she couldn't let that cloud her judgement. It was too risky. She had been trained over the years to be sure of her decisions, and with Sasuke there was no way to be completely sure of anything.

Her eyes landed on his hand, laying over hers like a protective little blanket. His other arm was under her head, supplying her with a pillow and keeping her close to him. She was comfortable beyond belief, but she had to move; had to get away.

She sighed, untangling herself from his arms and collecting her clothes that were scattered around the room and glancing back to Sasuke's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful when he slept. So innocent and unperturbed.

He was just a child. Beneath the Sharingan, the cursed seal, the surname, behind everything that he was known for he was just a lonely child. Lost and alone. She could never understand or begin to know what kind of pain he had endured. And that broke her heart beyond everything else, beyond his betrayal, his numerous attempts to kill Naruto, the fact that he suffered so greatly for no real reason just hurt so badly. The only thing she wanted to do now was save him. To see him smile, to hear him laugh. She wanted to help him.

But she knew it was impossible; she couldn't get attached. It wouldn't be good for either of them and she needed to think of herself; needed to focus on her own duties. Last night was a moment of weakness, that was how she would justify what had happened. Sasuke had caught her off guard and there was no time to think. But then why hadn't she stopped it before it progressed too far... why hadn't she pushed him away? The answer was blatantly obvious.

She cared about him.

Unfortunately, for the sake of her sanity, she was going to have to resort to her old ways. She had to push the feelings down; deceive everyone including herself until it didn't seem like a lie any more.

Sakura stopped at the door, pausing to look back at the sleeping figure in her bed. She was almost positive he had been awake since the moment she crawled out of his arms. It was something he would do; pretend he was sleeping. Hell, she would have done the same thing if she was in his position.

As she watched him, looking the most serene she had ever seen him, she felt the urge to manoeuvres herself back into his arms and never move; just to see what it would be like when they woke up beside one another. But she couldn't do that to herself. That would only cause pain. Even if he didn't mean to, all Sasuke did was cause her pain.

When she finally made her way to the hospital, to sit there and feel useful more than anything else, she had a visitor.

"Hey, Ino."

Ino was a very close friend of hers; not her best friend, but they did tell each other a lot. Mostly because Ino found Tenten was too focused on her weapons and Hinata was too shy to really be able to even talk about boys. But Sakura didn't mind at all... there were some things she really just couldn't tell Naruto.

When they'd been apart for some time, as they had been now, they were just able to pick up exactly where they'd left off. "Hey, forehead." Sakura rolled her eyes and continued to her desk, flopping down on the chair and running a hand over her face.

She opened her eyes to see the blonde staring at her with a sly smile on her lips. "What?"

"You had sex."

Sakura's hand fell to her side and her eyes widened in surprise. "What? Of course not!"

The blonde snorted and leaned over the edge of her desk. "Who was it? Kiba? You guys have been hanging around alot."

"No! Ino!" Sakura covered her face in embarrassment. Kiba? Really? Just because they were on the same squad quite often didn't mean that she was interested in him in any way. Besides, there was no way she was going to be able to be with anyone anytime soon. Not after last night..

"It's not a bad thing. I was beginning to think that you were going to be a virgin forever. Ever since.." She trailed off and suddenly an eyebrow quirked followed by an malicious grin. "Was it Sasuke?"

Sakura scoffed and shook her head. "I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, Ino. Sasuke... he's changed. He's not the same boy we used to know."

Which was entirely true. There was a darkness about him. Something that made her think he'd seen things and experienced things that she would never be able to dream of.

"Sai then?" She continued, completely breezing past the Sasuke subject even Sakura found herself lingering there. She wanted to talk about him to someone, maybe to get their opinion. But she knew that she couldn't tell anyone. It wouldn't be good for her or for Sasuke. They would have to be a secret, and she knew Sasuke would feel the same.

He said that he wanted it to mean something, but what could it really mean? She cared about him, of course, but she didn't know if he felt the same. She felt like she was sounding like a broken record but everything about him was too risky.

"Who was it?" Ino asked impatiently.

"No one, Ino!"

The blonde slumped back, finally realizing that she wasn't going to get an answer out of her friend. "Alright, alright."

Sakura rubbed her eyes and sighed. "What were you here for?"

She groaned and sat down in one of the chairs. "Shikamaru has some dumb meeting. I'm bored."

"Shikamaru?" Sakura asked with a grin. The two of them had been friends for a while, and Ino, after finally realizing that Sai wasn't going to respond to her advances, had found herself attracted to him. Shikamaru wasn't clueless by a long shot, and Ino wasn't exactly subtle, but still nothing had happened between them. Which made Sakura curious.

"It's like my boobs don't exist to him." She said with a pout. "He's impervious to my charm." Sakura stifled a laugh as Ino shot her an angry glare. "Not everyone got laid last night, okay?"

"Ino!" Sakura growled.

Despite her uncanny ability to apparently sense when someone had sex, it was nice to talk to Ino for a little while. It gave Sakura some escape from her mind bombarding her with possibilities. Gave her something to do other than pretend she was working.

**xx**

He stayed in Sakura's apartment for quite a long time, which was surprising. He lay in her bed, staring at the indentation her body had left behind. He wasn't upset at all, but it did make him wonder if she regretted what had transpired in the darkness of the night. He didn't know what he was expecting to gain from remaining there; no insight to her actions would be provided by staring at a white sheet.

Sasuke understood why she left. Hell, if he hadn't been fast asleep he would have been gone before the sun broke the horizon.

He didn't know why he wanted to run away from her. No, that was wrong. It was because she scared him. More than he thought possible. He wasn't scared of being killed, hardly scared of death in the way he should be. But he was scared of losing her; scared of having her leave his life forever because of some stupid mistake they'd made.

He had enjoyed every minute of their night together; more than he thought possible. And those feelings were sending a chill down his spine and making him second guess his goals. One girl. Having so much power over his life without even knowing it.

There was no way to deter from the plan now. He and Sakura had no real future if he was going to continue with his goals. She couldn't be a part of the life he needed to live; it was far too dangerous. So then what was he doing? If he knew what was going to happen to them, if he knew that they had no future why had he gone to her last night? What possessed him to torture himself with her?

It was a feeling that seemed to be stationed firmly behind his ribs; above his stomach. Whenever he saw her, he felt it stirring; fluttering almost. It drew him to her, and he wanted to hate it, but the idea of that seemed impossible. Because that feeling was the only thing reminding him that he had a reason to be alive; that throwing his life away would be stupid and idiotic and pointless. He had a purpose; to make sure she was safe.

Finding out the truth about his brother had made him lose sight of his goals for a long time. His entire life had been nothing but a lie. Hating his brother, seeking revenge; it had been a set-up. There was some form of resentment towards his brother for not explaining everything to him, and still for the massacre of their family, but it was not as it had been. It was a soft hum in the back of his mind now, accompanied by a sense of respect for what his brother had overcome in order to gain peace in Konoha.

Now, however, he wanted to see the same pain inflicted on those who made his family suffer. Who had it been that ordered his brother into the mission in the first place? Who had made the Uchiha clan suffer in an attempt to ordain peace?

_"He wanted you to grow up believing that the Uchiha clan was the pride of the leaf village. He made it clear you were never to know the truth. From the he asked the Hokage to let him leave, he intended to die fighting you. He sullied his own name. Traded your love for your hate, and was still able to die with a smile on his face. He left the Uchiha name to you and you alone, and kept up his facade to the bitter end."_

Sasuke clenched his hand into a fist and felt a snarl ripple through him. He had returned to Konoha for a reason, and he couldn't lose sight of that. Sakura there or not, he had to get revenge for his brother's sacrifice. His brother wasn't the monster that everyone was raised to believe, and he wanted his name to have no more tarnishes because of past Hokages. He would _make _them understand that the Itachi and all of the Uchiha's should have been respected.

But what would continuing on with his plan cause him to lose now? When he returned, he wasn't expecting to reform the bonds that he had left behind six years ago. He wasn't expecting to feel anything but hatred and annoyance towards his former teammates. However, he and Naruto were starting to embellish something akin to the friendship they'd had before, and he and Sakura... well he and Sakura were completely different people than they were six years ago. Apparently that realization had been enough to spur feelings towards her within his chest.

Could he leave that all behind again without looking back and cursing himself for it in the long run?

**xx**

Sakura spent a short time working the contraceptive jutsus that would prevent her from getting pregnant. She could only imagine what Sasuke would do then. Bolt, most likely, she wasn't sure he would want to deal with a child.

There was little time to work on any paperwork before Tsunade had summoned her to the tower. Sakura was a little afraid, not knowing exactly what her mentor wanted with her. Another scolding? Or maybe she'd decided to alleviate the punishment and send her on a mission to help the people who were being killed.

Neither was the case.

"The Mizukage sent a messenger to inform me that she will be visiting Konoha." Tsunade said. Sakura felt her heart clench uncomfortably in her chest. The Mizukage was going to be in the village? After what she'd proposed to Sasuke? Would she be wanting an answer? If Sasuke said yes, he would be leaving the village again; leaving her behind _again. _

Sakura kept her face remote, hoping that Tsunade couldn't see the panic that was brewing in her. "In a time like this? Her people need her protection."

"I feel she might be coming to ask for more aid."

"Why wouldn't she ask via the messenger?"

Tsunade shrugged, still baffled in her own respect by the Kage's sudden willingness to visit. She didn't like to leave her village very often, but rumors had been spreading that she was travelling around Kumogakure and was now stretching all the way to Konoha. "Maybe she thinks a direct meeting will make things clearer. I really don't know."

Would Sasuke really leave again? After what had happened between them?

"When is she due to arrive?" Sakura asked, hoping that the Mizukage would have some very important duties to attend to before she would be able to make it to Konoha. Duties that would take a very long time to complete.

"She estimated her travelling time at one week."

Sakura let out a sigh, allowing the news to sink in. It was something she was going to have to deal with sooner or later. Either Sasuke would make the wise decision to stay in Konoha, or he would leave and more or less betray them all again. He may not be leaving them for an enemy, but he would be leaving them again for a stronger source of power.

Hell, she wouldn't blame him for accepting. If she was in his shoes, if her clan had someone like Itachi that tarnished their name, she would want to clean the slate. She would want to start new.

Sakura was very aware of the looks people gave him when he walked down the street. He was the sole survivor of the Uchiha Clan. The poor boy who watched his family die by his own brother's hand. The betrayer who left his village for Orochimaru. He was like a diamond, with so many different facets that the villagers couldn't understand, but they chose the main parts, those that were most obvious and spread those facts to their friends, distorting them into malicious rumors.

She knew all too well how the rumors affected people. Six years ago it was all she could do not to punch people in the face when they talked about her and Naruto like they were broken dolls. She may have been, but Naruto was stronger than her. He hadn't let his heartbreak show. It was for his sake that she wanted to knock them all out.

And now Sasuke was having to deal with it as well, though the Mizukage was offering him a way out of that. She really didn't know what he would choose.

"Why tell me this?"

Tsunade rubbed her eyes and shook her head. "What you did was reckless and irresponsible and make no mistake, I'm still furious with you for disobeying my orders." The Hokage sighed. "However, you still hold my trust, and I know that you are the right person for this mission."

Sakura was a little elated to know that she was going to be given a mission. After so long without one, so long sitting in Konoha doing nothing she was being sent to do work! She tried to keep her face impassive as she waited for Tsunade to continue.

"It has been a very long time since the Mizukage last visited Konoha; there has been no need. I want her stay to be more than enjoyable, and I know that with you as her guide, it will be."

Sakura's excitement died down immediately. "You want me to be her guide." She repeated, like she wasn't really digesting the words. Tsunade nodded, a slight smile on her face. "What am I supposed to do, show her around the village?

Tsunade nodded again. "Like I said, it has been a very long time since-"

"I don't think much has changed!" Sakura snapped, instantly regretting her words as Tsunade's expression darkened.

"You are still meant to be on probation, Sakura. No missions, and he I am giving you one of the most important-"

"Important missions involve saving people, not escorting the Mizukage around and show her landmarks. It doesn't benefit anyone!"

"I'm not giving you a choice in this, Sakura. You do a good job with this and your probation is over. If not..."She trailed off, her stern eyes filling in the blanks.

Sakura clenched her jaw and nodded, turning to leave the room. "One week then."

**xx**

When she got home, she stared at her usually welcoming bed with a sense of uneasiness, the previous night's actions replaying themselves in her mind.

He'd seemed so sincere, his gentleness had been overwhelming then. But now that she had time to herself, time to stare what had happened right in the face, she was filled with confusion, but what else was really new.

She pressed her hand to the sheet, letting the soft fabric caress her hand. She closed her eyes and sighed, letting herself get lost in the memories.

"Sakura."

She whirled around and stood up, a dark figure blocking the moonlight from entering through her window. Her first thought was to defend herself, and she nearly sprinted to her dresser. But then she recognized his silhouette. The hair, the muscles, the stance.

"Sasuke?"

Sakura was startled to see him there, to say the least. She wasn't expecting to see him, wasn't expecting to have to deal with everything so soon. But there he was, crouching casually in her window like it was the most normal thing in the world.

He held her eyes and stepped into her room.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, trying to slow her heart down. Away from his guards, just like she'd predicted.

"I thought you'd want to see me." He confessed, confused by her shock.

"I-" She began, dropping her keys on her dresser. "No, I do, I just... I didn't expect you."

He a step closer to her and frowned. "You don't seem happy."

Sakura took her lip between her teeth and clamped down. She never imagined telling Sasuke about what she was feeling. Never imagined that she was going to have to talk to him about anything meaningful. She ran a hand through her hair and sat down on her bed, feeling uncomfortable under his eyes. "I just... I don't know about... this." She gestured between the two of him.

"I told you, Sakura. It doesn't have to mean anything."

_But I want it to. _

His words echoed painfully in her mind. Was he being serious? Did he really want something to bloom between them? More than it already had? It was dangerous, and stupid and... she couldn't deny that she found herself wanting it as well.

She watched him for a moment, trying to read something from his body language or facial expression but there was nothing. Nothing for her to go on. He stood still, and his face was more or less emotionless.

"Make me believe you won't hurt me again." She whispered, holding his gaze.

His eyes softened and he sighed, moving closer to her. He wasn't one to display his emotions. She was just supposed to _know_.

"Sakura, this..." She watched as he clenched an unclenched his jaw. If he wanted her, he was going to have to convince her, and that was a hurtle for him to overcome. She knew he didn't talk about his feelings; hadn't had anyone to talk to about them in a long time and she could only imagine what was going on in his head.

What would he say? How would it come out? Did he even want her, or was the previous night a mistake?

"In that meeting I-" Sasuke grit his teeth. Why couldn't the words just come out. He was stumbling over his words, stuttering like an idiot. Uchiha's _didn't _stutter. "They could have decided that I was to be killed."

"You're alive, though." She whispered, unsure of what else to say to him. There was such an awkward air between them, and she didn't like it. She would do anything to change the atmosphere.

He wanted to scoff and turn away from her, but something held him back. "Yeah."

Sakura chewed on her lip, hesitant to ask him what was on her mind. "Do you feel alive?" She asked, feeling herself shudder as he met her eyes. "Or are you simply existing?"

When he'd first returned to Konoha, he didn't care whether he lived or died; his brother was dead, he'd done what he needed to do. Now she felt like he was just living each day as a drone, doing nothing other than what was meant to be done. If the council had decided Sasuke needed to be killed, she didn't think he would have objected or fought back. Her and Naruto would have, but she wasn't sold that Sasuke would do anything about it.

It seemed like an eternity before he answered, and she could only imagine what he was thinking.

"I didn't..." he started with a hoarse voice. "I didn't feel alive at all. But you... you make me want to stay here."

Sakura felt her heart clench and her eyes soften at his admission. Coming from Sasuke, it meant more than she could put to words. He could be playing her, she could be being manipulated like a puppet, and she didn't think that the idea of that would ever leave her alone, but Sasuke looked so confused and broken after he'd said that, she didn't care.

"I don't want to hurt you." He admitted, knowing that some of his actions might cause her pain. But no one was perfect, not even him.

He stayed with her that night, his arms around her and his chin resting on top of her head as she traced the scars marking his chest. She still wasn't sure what exactly was between them. She didn't love him... not by a long shot, but she cared about him. She cared about him a lot.

He had made her believe him, but she wondered how much his words would mean when the Mizukage arrived. Sakura never asked Sasuke what he thought of the Mizukage's proposal, and now that something had developed between them she was scared that he was considering it. Would he leave her now? The offer the Kage laid down for him was tempting; power in her village, the opportunity to work at her side. He would be a force to be reckoned with, more so than he was already, at the Mizukage's side.

"Someone is coming to Konoha." She murmured, unsure how to breach the subject.

"I know."

She pulled away from him, enough so she could see his face. "How?"

"Naruto told me."

She settled against his chest once more; of course Naruto had told him. She was a little bit thankful, but at the same time she wanted to see his reaction. Would he be happy? Or unnerved?

"Do you think she'll want to talk to you?" His arms tightened around her, but he didn't respond otherwise. "Sasuke?"

"I'd assume so."

She pulled her lip between her teeth, a nervous habit. "What will you say?"

When he didn't answer again, she felt something in her heart clench. He wasn't sure what he would do, though she supposed she understood. Her proposition would be so tempting to him, after all, his entire life had been spent doing things to benefit the memory of his clan.

She just didn't want the words he'd said to her to be wasteful; to mean nothing. If he left again, she knew how she would feel. The idea of him leaving with the Mizukage... well, she was a beautiful woman, a tempting woman if the stories held true.

But he'd made her believe that he wouldn't hurt her, so he wouldn't leave.

He couldn't leave.

**xx**

* * *

><p><strong><em>At least this update didn't take a month and a half. :D<em>**

_That damn Mizukage. Such a home wrecker! STAY IN KIRIGAKURE YOU JERK!  
>And Ino's uncanny senses are a little bit creepy.<br>BUT WHAT WILL SASUKE CHOOSE?  
>HE CAN'T LEAVE SAKURA, CAN HE?<em>

_Sincerely,  
><em>_Your Faithful Reviewer. _

**_Leave me a review if you'd like. I'd like it. A lot. So you should review. You should definitely review._**

**_-EM_**


	18. Would He?

_**Continue to review my lovelies!**_

_**-EM**_

* * *

><p><em>"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."<em>

__-Author Unknown__

**My Darkness: Chapter XVIII**

**Would He?**

**xx**

One week had gone by far to fast for Sakura, especially knowing the person that was said to be arriving that morning.

Sasuke had taken to escaping his guards at night in order to spend it with her, something she didn't mind at all. It wasn't even for sex, it was just to be near her, and she wasn't going to turn him away when she felt safest with his arms around her. He helped her sleep, chased away the nightmares she used to have about him. He said she was the only person that could make him feel, and that was why he found her every night.

She was still getting used to the sweet side of Sasuke that she would witness when they were alone together. It was such a drastic change from the person she saw walking the village with his guards. He had his shield up and spoke only to Naruto. He rarely even spoke to her because they were trying their best to keep everything a secret.

It was why they restrained themselves from sending longing looks in public; why he never touched her, or even brushed against her when they were with other people. They didn't want rumors to start spreading. Sakura knew all too well how the people in Konoha twisted stupid things like a relationship into a grand lie. And she didn't want that to happen with her and Sasuke. What they had was so fragile already, a push in the wrong direction from the people of her village and things could crumble into nothing.

She had to force herself to get out of bed with the knowledge of who would be waiting for her in the Hokage Tower. She held no hatred towards the Mizukage, it was more of a bitter jealousy. A burning in her belly whenever she imagined Sasuke and Mei talking again.

Sakura sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed as she started to bind her chest in her wraps. It was a long process, but much needed in order to work without the annoying pinching of a regular bra. She needed to focus on her job at hand, not the occasional snag as the fabric bit into her skin. Not that this job would require a lot of effort; she was a tour guide for crying out loud.

She felt his soft fingers against the small of her back and she turned to the side, meeting his dark eyes. "Where are you going?" He murmured, still entangled in the sheets. He reached forward, hooking his arm around her waist and pulling her to his chest.

With a content sigh, she smiled and pressed her hand to his cheek. "Tsunade needs me." She said. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth. She didn't doubt that Sasuke knew that the Mizukage would be arriving; word traveled fast, but she didn't want to remind him. She started to pull away from him only to be locked back into place. The sight of him holding onto her so possessively almost made her smile. It was a good feeling, knowing that he didn't want her to leave and realizing that she didn't want to either.

He let out a breath and released her, letting himself fall back onto the bed. "I'll see you tonight then." He said, sending a wave of anticipating butterflies through Sakura's stomach. She nodded and pushed herself off of the bed, grabbing her black mesh top and pulling it over her head. She didn't know why it made her nervous to know he would be there when she finally made it home. One week just wasn't enough time to get used to the idea.

"Nn." He muttered, propping himself up on his elbows. "Wait."

She turned around and shot him a confused look, only to be met with his beckoning hand. "I really have to go."

"Two minutes."

With skeptic eyes, she crawled over to him, plopping herself down at his side. He held her eyes for a minute before bringing his hand to the back of her neck and pulling her forward, pressing his lips against hers. Sakura smiled and closed her eyes, letting him kiss her. He was the one who finally pulled away, brushing his lips against hers as he spoke. "Bye."

She felt her heart melt in her chest a little bit at the adorable gesture. Adorable. Sasuke had done something adorable and it made her want to stay in bed with him for the rest of the day. But she couldn't do that; Tsunade had her on a tight leash, and Sakura could only imagine what would happen if she wasn't there to greet the Mizukage.

During the short trip to the Hokage's office Sakura found herself unable to remove the smile that Sasuke had given her, though it did fall when she saw a wave of long auburn hair as it entered the room just before her. Her heart clenched as she strode through the doors, but she made her face one of geniality and kindness.

"Mizukage, I trust that your sleep was well?"

"Of course, and I'd expect nothing less from your hospitality."

Tsunade smiled and nodded, gesturing to Sakura as she moved to stand beside the Mizukage. "This is-"

"Sakura. We've met before."

Sakura forced a smile to her own lips and inclined her head. "It's nice to see you again, Lady Mizukage."

"Let's get right down to business then. Though I have a vague idea of your intentions, what is the reason for your presence here, Mizukage?

"There is one thing I would like to ask of you," Mei began, glancing over at Sakura. She didn't like that look, it was sly and conniving and she didn't like it at all. "My people are dying, and those rebels are expanding."

"If it is aid that you want it is aid I will provide. I'll have some of my shinobi prepare to depart with you."

"I only want one shinobi."

Sakura's heart sank and she had to restrain herself from shaking her head. Tsunade was watching her fellow Kage with curious eyes, though Sakura could see the skepticism in them. Something was off, and she knew it. "One shinobi is hardly going to make the burden of your problem any lighter."

"This man will."

No, no she couldn't have him.

"I want Sasuke Uchiha."

If Tsunade was surprised, she didn't show it. She continued to watch the Mizukage with the same calculating gaze she'd had since she arrived, like she didn't completely trust this woman. Sakura didn't either, to be quite honest, though maybe it was recent events that caused it. She wouldn't have cared this much if the Mizukage had come for Shino or Chouji. She would be outraged that she was trying to steal one of Konoha's shinobi's, but if it was a good opportunity for them, she wouldn't stand in their way. But this was Sasuke, it was completely different. He'd just come back, he couldn't leave again.

"Sasuke Uchiha is on a very strict probation here in the village, Mizukage. You know what he's done." Tsunade said slowly.

"I do." The Mizukage replied, "I also know that he is beyond powerful. He can save my people from these rebels if you'd only let him."

Sakura wanted to snort. The Mizukage was powerful as well, why the hell couldn't she deal with the rebels on her own? Why did she need Sasuke's help? Apparently Tsunade was thinking the same thing.

"You think that Sasuke can accomplish more than you and your guards? That Sasuke is more powerful than yourself?"

Something akin to anger flashed in the Mizukage's eyes. "I think that his particular skills could be very useful against them."

Tsunade leaned back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest. "His probation restricts him from leaving the village to go on any missions. I'm afraid that you will have to make do without him."

The Mizukage rose her chin slightly, a defiant gesture and quirked an eyebrow. "We will see about that."

Sakura's eyes widened and she clamped her mouth shut to prevent it from falling open. Had that woman really said that to Tsunade? Had she _threatened _her word? The second the Mizukage left the room, Tsunade's face turned red with anger.

"Who does that woman think she is?" Tsunade hissed as Shizune jogged into the room. "Shizune! My sake!"

Sakura ran a hand over her face at the Hokage's order. Of course she would dive right into the alcohol.

"She's completely out of line." Tsunade hissed as a bottle was placed on her desk. She brought it to her lips for a quick swig before slamming it down again.

"She's trying to protect her village." Shizune offered, trying to make light of the situation.

"Sasuke has to stay here, if he leaves the council will never welcome him back. The Mizukage will ruin that boy's life."

Ruining his chances of ever returning, which Sakura didn't want at all. She hadn't known that Tsunade was so eager to have him back though, she assumed that he would be nothing more than a traitor to her. But he was powerful, and it would be good to have him on their side in missions and against any threats that were posed against the village. Which was exactly what the Mizukage wanted from him. Protection, because Sasuke was powerful beyond belief. He killed Itachi, which was an amazing feat. But that's what he had been training for his whole life, of course he would be prepared for it.

Itachi was still his brother though, and it made her wonder what he'd felt like after everything was done. How long had it taken him to return to Konoha and realize that was where he belonged? Was he confused at all? His _entire _family was dead then, not only his parents and clan. Itachi was gone, and there was only him.

She wanted to help him in any way she could... but if he left... if he left then she wouldn't be able to. Unless the Mizukage was going to take her place...

Sakura shook the thought from her mind, clenching her hand into a fist and storming from the room, Tsunade and Shizune staring after her with confused expressions.

Naruto caught her just as she was leaving the village and dragged her into Ichiraku, trying to lighten her sour mood. "Sasuke is supposed to be meeting me here!" He grumbled, plopping down on one of the stools.

It was hard to be around Sasuke in public. He was a completely different person in front of Naruto and other people than he was when he was alone with her. Alone, he was sweet and curious and kind. In public, he was colder, closed off, and hard. She knew it was to keep people away, but she wished that he would at least let Naruto in. At least let her best friend see the good side to someone who they thought would never feel again.

"There's the bastard!" Naruto called, turning to Teuchi and ordering enough food for at least two people. It was like the kid hadn't eaten for a few days, but Sakura wasn't exactly focused on him. Sasuke was staring at her with a set of confused eyes. Blank to most people, but she had stared into them long enough to know when there was something different there.

She couldn't ask him about it, then, however, she would later. She had a nagging feeling that the Mizukage had found him already. Maybe even before she arrived at the Hokage's office.

**xx**

The second his eyes fell on her figure they narrowed, knowing full well who was approaching him. There had been word that the Mizukage was going to be paying a visit to Konoha, and he had no doubt that she was going to seek him out. He just hadn't expected it to be so soon.

She smiled at his guards, and he knew that where they were affected by her beauty and unseemly charm he was not. He knew that she had a purpose here, and smiles weren't going to work to soften him up.

"Could you excuse us?" She asked sweetly, gesturing to Sasuke. "We need to have a little conversation."

He wasn't sure that the guards were actually allowed to leave his side, but they did regardless. She may have been the Mizukage, but that did not mean she should have control over the Hokage's shinobi. However they didn't stray far. Out of earshot at least, but he knew that if he made any move to escape they would be on him like flies.

Once she felt confident that his guards were a safe distance away, she turned to him with a slick smile. "Have you made your decision then?"

His only response was to turn away and start walking, the guards immediately springing up to follow them. "No."

"Is there something I can do that might convince you?"

He nearly scoffed. He never would have imagined the Mizukage to be a coy person. There would be no convincing; either he would decide to join her, or he would remain in Konoha and carry out his mission to reinstate himself as a citizen. It was what he wanted, what he needed to start rebuilding his clan's honor.

Honor that would be given immediately at the Mizukage's side.

He heard that it rained a lot in Kirigakure. The rain only brought him bad memories of the death of his brother. Not the death; Sasuke had killed him, murdered him in cold blood. That was the only thing he could associate with the rain after that day. Not that it would make the grass greener or help the flowers bloom. Rain meant death, rain meant sadness. It was not cleansing, it was erasing. Erasing what had been into nothing.

"There is nothing you have that I want at the moment."

"Need I remind you, Sasuke, that you are a deserter here. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

When she'd said that to him the first time, he was undecided because of Sakura. Sakura was the one thing that held him to Konoha; the one thing that made him want to stay. Because though he would lose Sakura, he would gain his clan's honor, he would gain power and respect. Everything that he didn't have in Konoha. But Konoha provided Sakura where Kirigakure did not.

When he'd seen the Mizukage the first time, he made a promise to himself that he would figure out what Sakura meant to him before he could ever leave. And while he didn't think he'd pinpointed precisely what she meant to him, he did understand a little bit more. He needed her to feel anything. He needed her to remind himself that he was human, and that he was capable of feeling pain and confusion and lust.

He needed her.

She was like a drug.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the Mizukage had quickly placed two fingers over his lips, effectively silencing him with shock. It took every ounce of his strength not to smack her hand away for touching him. This was the Mizukage and despite how much her touch might disgust him, he would not be able to get away unscathed if he smacked her away.

"I'll give you more time to mull things over. We'll have another little chat soon." She promised, departing with a wink and a flourished gesture to her own guards.

He glared after her in a state of anger and confusion.

If the Mizukage's main goal was to get him to second guess everything, she was doing a damn good job. He'd almost forgotten about her proposal; almost. It had been pushed to the back of his mind as something that could be dealt with at a later date. And by later he'd been thinking at least a few months into the future, possibly more depending on the response he would have in Konoha.

He wasn't sure what the better course of action was anymore, stick with his original plan and make nice in Konoha, or divert to a new one where he could restore the power of his clan in Kirigakure.

He knew that eventually he would be able to regain the honor of the Uchiha name in Konoha, after a few key factors were either eliminated or overcome, but if he left for Kiri, then it would be instant. The Uchiha name would be glorified the moment he walked into the village. Not only his clan, but Itachi's name. Itachi could be a hero for what he'd done; protected his village at the cost of his family, fought for peace.

It was an opportunity he knew that any wise man wouldn't turn down. Power, honor, the aid of the Mizukage whenever he needed it.

But there were attachments now. Ones that he wasn't sure he was willing to break again. With Naruto, with Sakura, and even Shikamaru Nara was trying to make him feel welcome. Keeping in mind that he wasn't taking him out to ramen like Naruto, he would attend on occasion, and it was an improvement from someone like the Hyuuga boy. He kept his distance as though Sasuke was a walking disease, though he didn't blame him.

And Sasuke was the one trying to keep his distance from that Sai character.

He was unsettling. And to be quite honest, a part of Sasuke deep down felt like Sakura liked him better which made him jealous. Because when Sasuke was gone, Sai was there for her and Naruto. He was his replacement, in more than one manner. His replacement on Team 7. His replacement as their friend. Though he hoped that Sakura hadn't found herself infatuated with Sai the way she had been with himself. He'd never been jealous before, but everything about Sai made him angry.

He hated that he couldn't let everyone know that Sakura was _his_. He knew it was better for both of them to keep it a secret, but he saw the way some men gazed after her. How could he not? It made him want to remind them over and over again with his fists who she belonged to. But Sakura would never forgive him if he let his pent up rage out on innocent villagers that were guilty of nothing other than being men.

Even that mutt Kiba was starting to send her looks.

If he made any move towards her, Sasuke wouldn't hesitate to-

"There's the bastard!" He heard Naruto shout, patting the stool beside him before hastily ordering his food. Sakura sat beside him, and seeing her brought up the Mizukage's offer once again. What would she think of him if he left? After what had transpired between the two of them, she would never forgive him. When he left the first time it had been a meaningless crush. If he left her again after what they'd done she would hate him.

Could he live with her hatred in order to restore his clan to its former glory?

**xx**

Sakura had excused herself from lunch, explaining to a frustrated Naruto that she had to speak with the Mizukage regarding her day tomorrow. If she was going to have to act as a damn tour guide, she might as well do a good job.

Not to mention she couldn't be around Sasuke while she was itching to ask him what was wrong. To bystanders, they weren't hostile towards each other anymore, but they definitely weren't on terms to be asking what was bothering the other person.

It sounded completely ridiculous when she said it in her head, really laid it out like that, but she reminded herself that it made sense. It was just an understanding that she and Sasuke had made.

So, in the long run, excusing herself from lunch was the best idea.

From the street, she could see Tsunade staring angrily out the window, a glass - thankfully not the bottle - of what was definitely sake in her hand. She still looked pissed, though Sakura was feeling almost the same way. It was still surprising to know that she wanted Sasuke to stay. She was outraged at the Mizukage's offer, which made Sakura think that she would fight to keep Sasuke in the village. It was nice to have the Hokage on her side, but at the end of it all it was Sasuke's decision. They wouldn't exactly be able to stop him if he decided to leave.

The Mizukage gave her a sharp look as she entered, though it was quickly replaced with a smile. "You're my escort then?" She said in a too-chipper voice.

"That'd be me!"

"Well, I don't mean to be a nuisance, but I would rather change your job description."

Sakura rose an eyebrow. She couldn't wait to hear what that meant. "I'm sorry?"

Mei smiled, a sickeningly sweet smile that made Sakura shiver. "You see, I can find my way around just fine. What I'll need is an errand-runner."

An errand-runner. Oh hell no.

After their short conversation, which she grinned through with clenched teeth and nodded like a good girl, Sakura went straight back to the Hokage to explain what the Mizukage was expecting of her. Tsunade nodded and crossed her arms over her chest.

"And that is exactly what you will do, Sakura. We cannot afford the Mizukage to be on bad terms with us. You will do what she asks."

Which was exactly how Sakura had found herself running back and forth from the hospital to Mei's side, running errands before trying to return to the stack of paperwork waiting at her desk. As soon as she sat down to attempt to shrink the massive pile, one of Mei's guards would appear, and she would be sent on another errand. Upon asking the Mizukage why she didn't just ask one of her guards to run the errands themselves, the Mizukage answered with a short smile and an explanation that went along the lines of 'they don't know the village as well.' Complete horse shit, but who was really keeping track?

Sakura decided that the Mizukage just had something against her. And by something against her, she meant Sakura's friendship with Sasuke. Not that she knew there was a friendship, she just knew that they were teammates, and apparently that was reason enough for Mei to be jealous.

She didn't make it back to her apartment that night, and when she woke up she felt a sharp pang in her chest at not being able to see Sasuke. He'd been so sweet that morning, and he was expecting to see her. Sakura wondered if he'd gone looking for her at all, or if that was something she only wished.

Did it even bother him at all that she hadn't returned?

**xx**

* * *

><p><em>"D'aww, Sasuke is such a cutie pie. At least with Sakura :3<br>Dat damn Mizukage. She needs to mind her own business and leave Sasuke the hecky alone!  
>BUT GUTEN JAHBEN."<em>

_-Your Faithful Reviewer_

**_Two minutes. GAH. I was giggling while I was writing that._**

**_And no, I'm not sure if Jahben is job in German. I highly doubt it, but I meant no offense by butchering the beautiful language. :D_**

_**So, onward my lovely readers and reviewers! TO CHAPTER NINETEEN!**_

_**-EM**_


	19. Don't Go

_**Zomg. Readers are awesome. I cannot stress how much your reviews mean to me :) I cherish every single one of them.**  
><em>

_**-EM**_

* * *

><p><em>"<em>I won't go any where,<br>____I'll stay here and hold you,  
><em>___Love you,  
><em>___and Protect you.  
><em>___I won't disappear,  
><em>___I'll be right where I belong...  
><em>___With you."__

__-Author Unknown__

**My Darkness: Chapter XIX**

**Don't Go  
><strong>

**xx**

Sasuke sat with Naruto, staring out at the wide expanse of the training field. There were a lot of academy students out that day, casting him nervous glances, and looking at him every time they messed up.

But closer than the students were two figures; Sakura and Sai.

She was sitting beside him, engaged in a seemingly interesting conversation, though he doubted it. What did Sai have that he didn't to make her laugh like that? He'd seen her smile, small, frequent smiles that he took in stride, but he wanted to see her laugh. He wanted to be the reason that she was smiling so brightly and laughing.

"Sai doesn't like a lot of people." Naruto said, following Sasuke's gaze.

The Uchiha narrowed his eyes at the black-haired boy in front of him and clenched his jaw. If Naruto was going to give him some background on the guy he would punch him in the nose.

"Sakura has that affect on almost everyone." He continued. "It's why we're all so drawn to her. Because she loves life. Because she's so determined. Because one of her smiles can brighten up your entire day; be the light in the darkness. We're all drawn to her like moths."

Sasuke knew it was true. She was the person who had just recently brought him out of the darkness he thought would envelop his future. She was his light, just as he was the darkness around her. When she was around him, she didn't seem so bright. It was like he was tainting her, slowly infecting her with his own black heart. She was bright enough for him, but he didn't want to ruin her.

He remembered the urgency he'd felt the first night she didn't return to her apartment. He'd barely slept that night, and spent the majority of it searching for her. When he found her in her office it took all of his restraint not to bring her back to her bed to be with him. The second night, he knew where to look, and again left her alone, despite the inner turmoil he was feeling. If he left her there again, he wasn't going to be able to sleep, just like the night before. Every night he stood, torn, watching her through the window and wondering what he was going to do.

That was almost one week ago.

One week since he'd been able to get any sleep. One week since the Mizukage had confronted him the first time. Not that she'd been completely ignoring him. She would see him in the streets and send him a knowing look, or walk closely to him and whisper something meaningless as she passed. He didn't care who the woman was, her constant presence was starting to bother him.

It was at that moment Sakura glanced back and caught his eyes. It was clearly an accident, and he smirked as she flushed and turned back to Sai, trying to pretend that nothing happened.

"So what do you think you're doing?" Naruto said suddenly, laying back on the grass and staring up at the clouds. He'd taken quite a liking to watching the clouds with Shikamaru sometimes. It was really peaceful.

Sasuke cast him a sideways glance, not understanding what Naruto was hinting at.

"With Sakura."

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke muttered, returning his attention to the little kids sparring.

"I may not know everything about you yet, but I know Sakura well enough to realize that something is going on." The looks they gave each other when they thought no one was looking, the small gestures that would have gone unnoticed by anyone else were caught by him. He was a goofball, but he wasn't an idiot.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're imagination is wild."

Naruto shrugged and let out a breath. He was going to have to bait him and hope to get some kind of reaction that would make it clear exactly what was happening. He knew there was something, all he needed was a clue from Sasuke. "Well then, one day you're going to wake up and realize how special she is.. and when that day comes, she'll be waking up next to the guy who already knew."

He wished that would happen. He wished Sakura would find someone else. Because all he was going to do was hurt her, it was inevitable but he couldn't deny himself the pleasure of being near her. He couldn't keep himself away from her, even if he knew it was the best solution. Maybe over time, she would find the right guy, but it wasn't him, it couldn't be him.

So what was he doing to her now? He was wasting her time, making her confused if anything.

"Sasuke Uchiha." He knew the voice immediately, the same one that had been frequented Konoha lately and giving him an endless headache. He didn't want to think about leaving Konoha yet, not at the stage he was at. However, the Mizukage seemed to be pestering him for the entire day. The second he escaped her and found refuge, she would sniff him out and strike up another persuasive conversation.

Naruto stood up and bowed his head, showing respect for the Kage, though Sasuke remained seated, not bothering to turn around. He kept his eyes on Sakura as her eyes landed on the woman approaching behind him. He noticed how they narrowed at the Mizukage, though immediately after she averted her eyes and seemed to mutter something to herself, though Sasuke couldn't make out what.

"Sasuke!" Naruto hissed, shooting him an angry glance.

Taking his time, Sasuke stood up and turned around to face the source of his annoyance. "Mizukage." He said shortly, watching her with uninterested eyes.

"Are you ready for another chat?"

"I'm finding myself preoccupied at the moment."

Her eyes flashed dangerously and she put a hand on her hip. "You're misunderstanding, it wasn't a choice."

Sakura and Sai joined them at that moment, and the Mizukage put on her best smile. "Sakura, how nice to see you."

Sakura smiled back, though Sasuke could tell it was tense and guarded. "You as well, Mizukage."

Sasuke's hand brushed against hers and she became distinctly aware of how long it had been since she'd seen him; since they'd had any time together. Not that she _wanted _time together. She just noticed.

"Did you get the flowers I asked for?"

Despite how Sakura was feeling mistreated as a shinobi, she realized that Tsunade may have saw this as suitable punishment. Run around for the Mizukage and do whatever she wanted. So she kept the smile on her face and nodded. "Yes, they're waiting back in your room."

The past week had been filled with running ridiculous errands for the Mizukage, and then returning to the hospital where she found herself passing out. She still wondered if Sasuke had arrived in her apartment only to find that she never returned from work. She wondered if it made him upset.

Even with the false smiles, the tension in the air was evident, and Sakura wanted to run away from the oppressing air of the Mizukage. She was indeed a very powerful, threatening woman and Sakura would hate to be on her bad side.

But recalling how Sasuke had said she was too intimidated by authority made her want to stand her ground and prove that she wasn't a wimp around those with power. Part of her was screaming to bow her head in respect and excuse herself, to get away from the area and leave the tension to Sasuke, who it didn't seem the Mizukage was keen on injuring for lack of respect.

With an expecting gaze, the Mizukage turned away, and after a brief hesitation, Sasuke followed.

"Sasuke." Sakura said without thinking first. She should have kept quiet; she should have just looked away and shut her mouth.

Both he and the Mizukage turned around, though their expressions were completely different. Mei looked irritated and intrigued at the same time, and Sasuke was giving her a look that was almost wanting her to stop him, though it was never easy to tell. Even Naruto and Sai had glanced at her in surprise.

She opened her mouth, then closed it again, then opened it. "Tsunade wanted to speak to you, later." She said, shifting her eyes to the ground. "When you have time." She added, not wanting to make the Mizukage feel pressed for time.

She didn't admit to herself that watching him walk away with the Kage now was making her feel like it was representing some crazy foreshadowing. She didn't want him to leave. With every fiber of her being she wanted him to stay.

"Okay." He said, trying to catch her eyes once more before turning away.

Through the tiniest of gestures, the Mizukage had finally figured out what was holding Sasuke back. The one thing, the one _person _that was preventing him from leaving the village. She knew he was aware of the opportunity she was giving him; his clan's honor would be restored instantaneously, and there was no need for him to remain in Konoha. He had nothing there. Nothing except _her._

Sakura Haruno.

She'd done her share of research, she'd listened to the word around the village. They had been teammates before Sasuke intially left to train under Orochimaru's careful eye. There was nothing particularly special about her. She was a medic ninja that excelled in controlling her chakra. She had immense strength, but she didn't feel like this girl would pose much of a threat in a battle. Not that she was intending to fight the girl, though she wondered if maybe it would be a possibility to drag her along. Make the two of them a packaged deal.

But no, she wanted Sasuke to herself.

And in order to do that she was going to need to convince Sasuke that Sakura wasn't worth throwing his future away for. And if that didn't work, she would implant the idea that staying with her would only hold her back.

"What is it this time." Sasuke snapped, crossing his toned arms over his chest.

Mei twirled around, catching his eyes and sending him a smirk. Though she didn't understand what he saw in the girl, she was going to need to use her against him. Sakura wasn't anything stunning, and she could do to get a little stronger if the rumors were true, but she wasn't going to judge Sasuke's taste in women. For all she knew Sakura was nothing more than a phase for him.

"I want to talk to you about Sakura." She said carefully, weighing his reaction, though nothing was portrayed on his face. "You love her."

Sasuke stiffened, though he tried to keep his face complacent. There was no way she could tell. She was building this up on nothing; there was no proof. Besides, there was no way that Sasuke loved her. Yes, he felt something, but it was a far stretch from love.

"I've had my guards keep a close eye on you when I couldn't." She mused, a small smile on her face as she sat down on a wooden bench. "They know where you go every night. I know."

He narrowed his eyes at her, but made no other movements.

"The two of you can have no future here, Sasuke." She continued, saying those words like she was commenting on the weather. Like it was completely obvious. He knew why they had no future, but there was no way in hell that the Mizukage shared that reason. "What do you think her village will think of her if she announced that she was with someone who had once betrayed them?"

Sasuke would have responded with a snide comment, but he felt that the moment he opened his mouth his voice would be weak and betray what he was feeling.

"Being with her is ruining her future, Sasuke and you know that. You know that and you continue to see her. Every night, to no fail."

He clenched his jaw and hid the fists that were forming. She didn't know what she was talking about.

"And what about Sakura. Do you really think she would _want _to stay with you after what you did to her? Would anyone?" Mei asked him, holding his gaze. She could see the fury there, but as she spoke she noticed it start to melt away with his anger. Because he was realizing that she was more than right. "You're a way to pass her time, Sasuke. A distraction. That's all you'll ever be to her."

It wasn't true.

He wouldn't believe someone who had no idea what she was talking about. If Sakura told him that, then fine, he would take it in stride. But he would not sit idle as the Mizukage tried to explain how his life was going to pan out. But he found that there was some honest truth to her words that was starting to make him doubt everything.

"I'm offering you power. I'm offering you status. Imagine the stupidity of you to throw it all away for one woman that doesn't care about you."

"Sakura means nothing to me." He hissed through his teeth. It was true that he still didn't understand everything, but saying that to the Mizukage was a complete lie. There was _something _there. Something that despite how much he tried he couldn't quell. Some feeling that came every time she was near; that made him want to protect her from harm. But the second the Mizukage knew that was the second she would try to use Sakura against him.

The Mizukage looked doubtful, and shrugged. "Prove it to me then." When he made no move to do anything, the Mizukage stood up, brushing her long hair over her shoulder. "I'm leaving tomorrow, Sasuke. If I don't have your answer by then I will assume that you're making the senseless decision to remain in Konoha."

"Okay."

**xx**

The day the Mizukage had decided to leave was one of the best days Sakura had had in a while. It would mean she was free of doing petty errands, it would mean that she could get some actual work done in the hospital, and it would mean that maybe she would make it home to sleep. Make it home to Sasuke, But it would also mean that Sasuke had made his decision. Either he was going to stay, or he was going to leave.

Half of the village had gathered at the gates to see her off. Any Kage arriving was a thrill for the civilians, and the shinobi were there mostly for duty. It was respectful to see the Kage off this way.

Sakura stood slightly behind Tsunade, close enough to hear the conversation that she and the Mizukage were having. "Safe travels then, Mizukage."

Mei inclined her head slightly and smiled. "Thank you."

After a moments hesitation, Tsunade spoke again. "I have a squad ready to accompany you to your village if you want my aid."

The Mizukage's smile turned coy as her eyes landed on the pink-haired shinobi standing a few feet back before turning her gaze back to the Hokage. "Sasuke should be joining me shortly." She said with a sense of confidence.

Sakura kept her face stony, willing herself to un-hear what the Mizukage had just said. Sasuke would be joining her? She felt someone brush against her hand and she looked to her side, startled as Sasuke stood beside her.

Sakura couldn't help but notice the smug and satisfied smile that the woman wore as she left the gates. A smile that was directed at the man standing next to her.

She leaned her body slightly against his. Where they were standing was so packed, no one would notice the slight gesture. She just needed to remind herself that he was still there, at least for that moment. The Mizukage had said that Sasuke would be following her shortly, but was it true? Or was the Mizukage just so scared of people knowing her pride had been injured by Sasuke denying her request?

After the village began to scatter and return to their homes, Naruto found them and invited them to Ichiraku's. Apparently Hinata was already there, along with Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji.

She took her seat beside Sasuke and delved herself into the ramen, not really paying attention to the conversation around her. Her mind was reeling with the possibility that Sasuke had accepted Mei's offer. Would he tell her if he had or would he just leave without another word?

His leg brushed against hers, hidden under the counter where they ate, but Sakura stiffened and found herself looking around to make sure no one had noticed. She was being paranoid now, thinking that if she even looked at him someone was going to notice. But no, over the past two weeks they had become very good at keeping it a secret. However, she hadn't been in his arms in such a long time, almost a week and she found that his leg pressed against hers made her shudder.

Shikamaru could feel it, yet wondered if the others could. It was almost stifling.

Between the Uchiha and the kunoichi beside him, a sexual tension so strong it was almost overwhelming him. Was it sexual? He was having trouble deciphering it, but he felt that it wasn't the kind of tension of hatred he would feel when enemies collided with each other. It was definitely one that involved attraction of some sort. Letting out a deep sigh and quirking his lips into an awkward grimace, he took another bite of his ramen.

_Being attracted to someone would be such a drag..._

Though even as he said the words, his eyes landed on Ino, laughing at something Hinata was whispering to her, and he wrinkled his nose. It was already a drag.

Shikamaru observed Sakura again, the way she looked nervous and slightly shocked even as she ate. Then he noticed Sasuke, the ghost of a smirk on his face.

There was no way other people weren't noticing the tension. Then again, Naruto and Chouji were distracted by the food in front of them and the two other girls were deep in a conversation that he had no doubt would make little sense to him.

Sakura's eyes lifted and glanced around, eventually landing on his. The second their gazes made contact, she flushed and stood up, shocking everyone from their separate worlds.

"I.." She began, pulling her lip between her teeth. "I have to be somewhere." She added, turning away from the group.

No one believed her.

That was evident by all of their reactions. Naruto actually looked like he was about to chase after her. It was Sasuke that he was most interested in though. While the rest of his face remained impassive, it was his eyes that he followed. They were glued to Sakura filled with the slightest bit of confusion. But the second she disappeared from sight he was focused back on what was in front of him, however not the people around him. It was clear that he was deep in though, and Shikamaru only wished that he could have some insight as to what it was.

**xx**

For the first time in a long time, Sakura almost felt like she wanted to cry. And she hated the reason for it.

She wanted to cry because she was terrified that Sasuke was going to leave to be with the Mizukage.

The second she was safely in her apartment she sank to the floor, despising the lurch in her chest. The tightness that was there when she thought of it. She thought she knew the reason for it. It had been happening slowly, and then she started to realize it more often; she recognized the feeling.

And finally Sakura knew why she was going to be heartbroken when he left.

She loved him.

Despite how much effort she had put in to guarding her emotions, to prevent herself from being hurt again, it had happened right before her eyes. She'd fallen in love with Sasuke in much the same way someone would fall asleep. Slowly, and then all at once.

Maybe that was the reason she had put up her walls against him in the first place. She may have put them there in the beginning to keep him out, but as things progressed she realized that she just wanted to see if he cared enough to break them down. And he did; he shattered them. She felt vulnerable and meek with him, and she didn't even mind because she felt safe.

She ran her hand over her face and took a deep breath, trying to quell her emotions. If Sasuke felt anything for her he wouldn't leave. If he cared about her at all he would stay in Konoha.

"Sakura." The voice was muffled on the other side of the door, but the tone was unmistakable. "Open up."

She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her head against the wall. "It's not locked." She whispered, her voice a lot weaker than she wanted. He was in her apartment immediately, standing in front of her with a confused look on his face.

"What's wrong." It wasn't really a question; he was expecting an answer, there was no option.

"Nothing, I'm fine, I just-"

"I know you're not fine." He said sternly, crouching down in front of her. "What's wrong."

Sakura found herself tugging at the hem of her shirt, hesitant to tell him what was on her mind. What if it didn't matter what she said to him? What if he'd already made his decision and anything she said would just be a fruitless attempt to try and make him stay.

"Sakura." He said, urging her to answer him.

"I want you to pick _me. _Choose _me._" She whispered, looking up at him through teary eyes.

His brows furrowed together. "Sakura, what-"

She closed her eyes, shook her head and took a deep breath. "If it means anything to you," she murmured slowly, lifting her eyes to watch him warily. "I want you to stay."

He didn't respond, he didn't even move, averting his eyes to the ground like he couldn't bare to meet her eyes. Did he make the decision to leave then? Was his future going to be and Kirigakure and not in Konoha?

"You should go." Sakura said thickly, standing up and moving around him. "The Mizukage will be waiting."

She started to turn away; then heard him say abruptly, "No."

She glanced back. "What?"

He held her gaze, and something warm and wonderful and powerful shot between them.

"No," he repeated. "I told her no."

"I..." Sakura shut her mouth before her jaw hit the floor. "That was a once in a lifetime opportunity, Sasuke, I-" She shook her head, not believing what she was saying. She had wanted nothing more than for him to say no, she hadn't cared about what it meant to him, the opportunity it was. She just wanted him to stay, and she was overwhelmingly glad that he had.

A ghost of a smirk flickered on his face. "I couldn't give her what she wanted. I couldn't leave." And as he said the words, he knew that he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay in Konoha for a very long time. Recreate the Uchiha clan into a strong, respected force.

He took a few steps toward her and tilted her chin up. "You." He added.

She gave him a puzzled look.

"I couldn't leave you."

Sakura opened her mouth to speak, but found that any words she wanted to say to him had become superfluous. Instead, she smiled, and felt tears start to prick her nose. Sasuke was staying. Sasuke was going to stay in Konoha with her. Together.

Without really thinking about it, Sakura threw her arms around him, pulling herself against her chest and burying her face against the skin of his neck. "I'm so glad." She whispered, feeling his arms go around in return.

Staying.

Sasuke was staying in Konoha.

**xx**

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><p><strong><em>D'awww. Sasuke is staying. YAY FOR SAKURA. NO HEARTBREAKS TODAY. NOPE NOPE NOPE.<br>Thanks again for the review on the last chapter. And yes, as much as I would like to murder Mei myself for threatening the relationship of Sasuke and Sakura, I can't exactly just murder her. Sometime it would be nice though :D_**

_Sasuke is STAYING.  
>Insert pathetic squeal here<br>No cockblocking for the Mizukage this time around. Eat that Mei!_

_Sincerely,  
>Your faithful reviewer.<em>

_-**EM**_


	20. To Love is to Destroy

**_Reviewers. I can never thank you enough. And I really appreciate the personal messages asking me how things are going and how the story is progressing! You know who you are! It just reminds me that I need to try harder to update around my schedule!_**

**_-EM_**

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_When you first fall in love, it's supposed to be awful.  
>Awful, uncertain, scary, wonderful, confusing, all at once.<br>That's how you know it's real. You have to care deeply. Passionately.  
>That hurts." <em>

**My Darkness: Chapter XX**

**To Love is to Destroy**

**xx**

"I've sent him a message. He knows that it's almost time."

Orochimaru sighed and kept a wary eye on the man lazing in the chair before him. He seemed so confident that the boy would succeed. That he would complete the mission with no setbacks. He, on the other hand, was having a multitude of doubts that he just couldn't get rid of.

"He's a kid-"

"Orochimaru." The tone used made the sannin go rigid, and he clenched his teeth in disgust. If there was anything he despised more than relying on a child, it was not having control in the situation. He wasn't pulling the strings; his life could be disposed of without a second thought.

He was dispensable where the boy was not.

"If you're having doubts, feel free to abandon everything now."

"I know what happens if I do." He hissed, narrowing his eyes. If he left the project, he would be killed. Murdered.

It was too late to even think of backing out now. He would have to continue to rely on the boy and only hope that he was mentally strong enough to succeed without being corrupted.

"Then I suggest you make your choice. You are either with me or against me." There was no in between. In a situation like the one they were in, they could afford no wishy washy members. Everyone had to commit.

Orochimaru felt his hands form into fists and he sneered at the male. "With you." He hissed, leaving the room.

Madara sighed and watched the fire in front of him. It was almost time. If Orochimaru was second guessing himself, then he would be killed. It was as simple as that.

He had faith in the younger Uchiha. There would be no mistakes. After all, what did the boy want more than revenge for his clan? Destroying Konoha from the inside out was the best way to achieve it.

**xx**

Things were... well... they were the closest thing to perfect that Sakura could imagine. Sasuke was in Konoha, and the progress he was making was tremendous. He was still doing the tedious E-ranked missions with some of the genins, but he was doing it with... well not a smile on his face, but without glowering at anyone, which was the next best thing.

And behind closed doors he was still a sweet guy.

So sweet that Sakura was still having trouble believing that this was the same Sasuke that left Konoha. The same Sasuke that killed his brother. He just seemed so different and she wondered what had done that to him.

Had she been the one to make him like that?

"Sakura."

She blinked, quickly realizing that she had been staring at him. And he'd caught her. Embarrassing. "Hi." She said with a smile, trying to ignore being discovered.

As she looked at him now, she knew with an undeniable feeling that she loved him. His eyes as he watched her. His lips as they tempted her. The gentleness of his touch as he brought her mouth to his.

And as he kissed her she wondered what he would do if she told him how she was feeling. What would he do if she told him that she loved him? Would he run? Would saying it completely ruin everything they'd built thus far? Was it an extremely terrible idea that would push Sasuke away rather than bring them closer?

Or did he feel the same? Maybe saying it would make him think about his feelings and come to the realization that he loved her and wanted to stay in Konoha with her for the rest of his life and grow old and-

She almost laughed at the idea of Sasuke growing old.

"What is it?" Sasuke murmured, surprised by the sudden absence of her lips.

Sakura took a deep breath and smiled at him, running her fingers along his neck. This was her chance. If she was going to say it, she was going to have to do it right then.

"I-" She cursed herself, stumbling on the words. She was terrified of the outcome. Terrified of what he would do. If he ran, then at least she would know now instead of falling deeper. If he stayed... well...

"Sasuke, I-" If she'd ever felt like a bumbling idiot before, this was ten times worse. She felt her face flush and she looked away.

"Sakura, what's wrong?"

"I... well, I love you." She confessed finally, her voice lowering more and more with each word she spoke until Sasuke could barely make out the last part. But he did and he understood and he felt it; the feeling of awareness spreading through his chest and down his muscles, helping him see clearer and chasing away the darkness.

Could he? Could he love her back? A simple question, but he didn't know the answer to it. Did he love her?

Sasuke's face remained emotionless as he averted his eyes, staring at the wall behind her, the blank empty wall; anything except her face. He could still see her though, in his peripherals. She was chewing on her lip, a sort of anxious expression on her face. He didn't want to cause her any more pain, but admitting that he did love her seemed like something that would cause such an emotion.

Because bad things always happened to the people he loved, and he didn't want to lose her too. To love was to destroy. And accepting her love with feelings of his own would only give her the power to destroy him.

His eyes slowly moved back to her face where there was a sad smile. If this had been six years ago, she would have been crying when he didn't respond right away. But this Sakura knew him far better than the old one. He'd let this one past his walls. She knew that saying those words could send him away, could make him feel unsure of the entire situation, but it was more than that. Because he did feel something for her, he just didn't know how to say it. It wasn't as easy as just letting it spill from his mouth.

But he wanted to. He wanted to so badly.

So he spoke before his brain could stop his emotions from pouring out through the creak that her words had created.

"I don't love people." Sakura swallowed a lump in her throat, because despite the fact that she expected as much, it still hurt. It still stung, and she had yet to figure out how to beat that. How to beat the hold that the man laying by her side still had over her heart, despite everything.

"But, for what is worth, I…" He hesitated, perhaps looking for the right words, or perhaps trying to understand what it was that he wanted to express in the first place. "I need you."

Sakura's lips parted and she could only stare at him, mouth agape, her heart beating so rapidly inside her chest that she was sure that she'd die in less than the blink of an eye because her blood was rushing through her like a wave.

He really did need her. More than she needed him, he thought. Without her, he had nothing; was nothing.

"I need you, Sakura."

Sasuke repeated once more, maybe to help her digest the words, or maybe to help himself assimilate what he was feeling. Sakura didn't know, and quite honestly, didn't care. All she cared about was the comforting feeling of Sasuke's presence by her side and his warmth and the meaning of his words _and_—

And her love for him, yes. She cared about that, too. She always had.

It felt so liberating to be finally able to admit that

Smiling softly, Sakura brought her hand to his cheek and kissed him. Kissed him until their clothes disappeared. Kissed him until she was lost in the bliss of his touch. Kissed him until they became so intertwined that she was unsure where her body stopped and his began. Kissed him, because she would never tire of kissing him. Kissed him because she loved him.

**xx**

Sasuke recognized the unnatural swirling of leaves outside of Sakura's window as he lay awake. It was a signal that his time was almost up. A signal that he was going to have to start making giant leaps if he was going to finish on time. Sakura had been a distraction from everything, her lips gave him the solace he needed from the world.

And he was going to have to hurt her soon.

He sat up, untangling himself from her soft arms, letting the blankets pool around his waist.

Leaving her would be his biggest regret. Leaving what was between them behind.. he would hate it. He would hate it, but he would have to do it anyways.

He turned to look at her serene face. She always looked beautiful when she was sleeping. Not that she wasn't while she was awake, but in slumber she had an innocence and vulnerability that made him want to keep her in his arms all night.

"I love you."

He whispered the words into her hair as she slept, because he was too much of a coward to say it to her face.

He wondered why that was. He could say almost anything else - I want you, I need you. But the thought of saying it to her out loud seemed different. It was too heavy. Too important. He couldn't say it to her. It would make him too vulnerable. Too exposed.

Love had a lot of implications. Friendly, familial, romantic. A joke, and a confession, and a doorway. And he meant them all because it was that only way he knew how to love her.

He kissed her, and she curled against the blanket, making a soft noise in the back of her throat. He knew he was bothering her. She was never a sound sleeper, always stirring, and waking up.

"I..." The words caught in his throat and he frowned. He couldn't say it again. So instead he kissed her hair, moving to gather his clothing.

Konoha was quiet as he jumped into the darkness and snuck past the night guards. They weren't very alert, something that Tsunade would need to fix. But, they thought the threat was in Kirigakure and near Kumogakure. They had no idea what was waiting just outside of their walls, ready to strike.

Not yet, but soon.

"You know why I'm here."

Sasuke watched as Madara dropped from the tree, his mask securely over his face. Yes, he knew why he was there. But he didn't know why he was risking blowing his cover when he could have easily sent some unmarked ninja to relay the message.

"I wouldn't have come myself, but I didn't want you killing every messenger I sent."

Sasuke tensed slightly at the memory. He used to kill the messengers, for fear of them telling someone else where he was. But that was before he'd returned to Konoha. Before Sakura. Now, thinking of murdering them.. thinking of Sakura finding out and beholding him for the monster he used to be made his stomach churn.

"Must be an important message."

Madara shrugged. "Just a reminder of the time constraint we're running here. It's been almost five months. One more week."

"I understand."

He didn't like that Madara had shown up himself. He was too close. Too close to Sakura. Too close to Konoha until Sasuke was finished.

"Then I will see you in one week." He said with a sense of finality. The tone that made people one hundred percent sure that they would follow him despite the cost.

Sasuke wasn't so sure anymore.

A combination of whatever Sakura was doing to him and Naruto's friendship had changed his perspective. How was he supposed to crush Konoha if he knew they were there? If he knew people like Shikamaru and Chouji, who were trying to make him feel welcome, could be killed as an effect.

If he backed out now, Madara would try to kill him. If not right on the spot, then later with reinforcements. And Konoha would be destroyed with or without his participation. He was a tool, and while the thought unsettled him, it had been the place he needed. His goals at the time seemed more important than leading the attack himself. Undermining the village from the inside out was an important enough attack.

But he knew Madara was getting ansy. Sasuke should have been sent on missions with at least some kind of leverage in the village. The side mission he'd taken with Sakura had delayed him, though Sasuke didn't think Madara was aware of that. The Mizukage's interference didn't help any either.

When Sasuke looked back to Madara, he was gone. Teleported back to wherever he was hiding. He moved too often for Sasuke to know anymore. With a frustrated sigh, Sasuke snuck back into Konoha and stopped right outside of Sakura's window.

Should he go back in?

Or would it be better for her if he started to distance himself now... save her some of the heartbreak that he was going to bring her. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. He should have known better than to get attached to anyone. And Sakura of all people?

If hurting her the first time wasn't enough, he had to do it a second time.

But the problem was that he didn't want to do it a second time. He wanted to stay with her in Konoha and actually regain his status, regain his clan's honor because time would allow it. If he left again, all thoughts of that would be abolished. Konoha would never welcome him back, and neither would Sakura. Hell, he didn't even know if Naruto, always friendly Naruto, would welcome him back. He was close enough with Sakura to be pissed at Sasuke for the rest of his life.

Sasuke didn't want that. As much as he would deny it in front of other people, Naruto and him were friends. They were good friends, and he didn't want to throw it away. Naruto was there for him when he came back. He forced him out of his hole to train and to go for lunch. When no one else would go near him, Naruto was there.

He'd heard on more than one occassion how many times Naruto had tried to bring him back. How while he was gone it was really the only thing on his mind. He wanted to save his friend from the hatred that had consumed him. And he had.

If only they knew what he was about to do... they never would have welcomed him back.

He jumped into her room, closing the window behind him. She was still in the same position he left her in, curled around the blankets with her hair spilling around her on the pillow. He didn't deserve her. She didn't deserve what was coming to her.

Absentmindedly, he reached out to her, running his fingers along her cheek and down her neck.

She shuddered against his touch, and her eyes opened slightly. "Sasuke?" She mewled, groggy and half asleep. She sat up clutching the blankets against her chest and blinking the bleariness away until she could see him. "What are you doing?"

She noted that he was dressed and smelt like outside. His fingers were cold and there was no doubt in her mind that he'd just come back from a little run or something. But why?

"It's okay." He murmured, leaning towards her and pressing his lips to her forehead.

She grabbed his hand, pulling him back down to the bed as she flopped against it, cuddling against his side. He almost laughed at how childish she was being. Like a little girl who just found her stuffed animal out of bed and was determined not to have it leave again.

He allowed her to get comfortable against him, wrapping one arm around her shoulders.

He wondered if she had any idea that he was going to leave her. If he'd given any hints or if it had just been a thought in her head. He wanted her to be prepared for it, but he couldn't tell her. While he knew that he should start to distance himself, he didn't want to deny himself her presence. Her happy, cheerful presence. Her comforting, warm presence.

He just didn't want to leave.

**xx**

When Sasuke had left to chase after Sakura from their lunch the other day, Naruto knew. It finalized things that had previously been thought but had no real evidence.

Sasuke wouldn't chase after Sakura unless he cared about her; he didn't chase women. Whenever Naruto brought her up in conversations, Sasuke would deny feeling anything, but Naruto knew. He'd known from the beginning that something was going on. Something between them that they were hiding from everyone.

He'd heard rumors around town as well; clearly someone else had the same idea he did.

The Sakura that was there when Sasuke first returned; the stubborn one that didn't want to see him was most definitely gone. In her stead was someone that was nervous around him. Sakura hadn't been nervous since they were twelve. When she was hopelessly in love with him. But this nervous was different. This side of her was nervous to touch him, nervous to get to close to him, though she wasn't afraid.

Whenever Sasuke and Sakura were seated beside each other, he noticed how Sakura glanced around, wondering if anyone was staring. He noticed the little things; the behavioral changes in his best friend that other people might not have noticed.

And when they were out on the field, the way Sakura had blushed and turned away when she looked at Sasuke.

Naruto was positive now.

There was definitely something going on, and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

So when he saw Sasuke sitting by the genin training grounds again, his head tilted towards the sky, Naruto knew it was his chance to probe. he caught a glimpse of one of his guards, keeping an eye on Sasuke from one of the taller trees. They were too far away to hear their conversation though, so it seemed okay to delve.

"Hey," He said, sitting down beside the Uchiha.

Sasuke turned his head slightly and nodded, acknowledging his presence.

"I wanted to talk to you-"

"No." Sasuke said with a severe tone of finality in his voice.

Naruto chuckled and shrugged, laying down and focusing his attention on the clouds.

"About Sakura." He finished, casting a sly glance to his friend.

After a moment, like he'd been contemplating the magnitude of this conversation, Sasuke spoke. "What about her?"

"I was just wondering if you would tell me what's going on with you two yet."

"Nothing's going on." He said too quickly.

Naruto shrugged. "I think differently. I think that you care about her. Might even love her."

"You're very wrong."

"Am I? You nearly ran after her at lunch. You thought she was upset, I know you did, and you wanted to help her."

Sasuke felt something weird in his chest then, recalling the memory. He had felt so terrible to be the source of her misery. "I didn't know what to do." He said, running a hand over his face. "She was upset because of me."

"You can't protect her from everything, Sasuke."

"Why not?"

Naruto smiled, a little bit excited that Sasuke was actually telling him something. Something personal about his relationship with Sakura, though he didn't know the exact magnitude of it yet. "There will always be things beyond your control, things that you can't protect her from. When you love someone... you finally realize that there is something worse than dying... and that's having something happen to her. You'll always have to live with that fear."

Sasuke clenched his jaw and shook his head. "I don't love her, Naruto." Though his voice was uncertain and strained.

"Then what are you doing?"

"I need her, Naruto, I-" He stood up, his fists clenched at his side. He shouldn't be doing this to Sakura. Being selfish and saying that he needed her when he was only going to break her heart. "I don't know."

Naruto stood up as well, turning to face his friend.

If Sasuke didn't know what the hell he was doing, that was a good sign, wasn't it? If he was so confused by his emotions that it frustrated him, it could only mean that he didn't understand his feelings. That's he'd never felt them before; love wasn't out of the question.

He wanted the best for Sakura. He wanted her to be happy and find the right guy, and if Sasuke was that man then great. But he wouldn't stand to watch her get hurt. He couldn't watch her go through the same heartbreak again. If Sasuke was only toying with her; if he didn't mean anything by it and Sakura was getting attached then he would want Sasuke to back off now.

"I don't want to see her get hurt, Sasuke." Naruto said finally, holding the Uchiha's eyes.

Sasuke looked up at the stars again. Naruto would definitely hate him after he left. Because he _was _going to hurt Sakura. After she'd nearly begged him to stay and not leave for Kiri, he was going to leave anyways. He didn't know what she'd been like when he left her the first time, he didn't know what she went through, but he knew that he didn't want to be the cause of any more pain.

He wasn't worth her tears.

"Then keep me away from her." Sasuke whispered, turning back to the village.

**xx**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Wow, twenty chapters. Not too many more to go I don't think, but we'll see how things turn out I suppose!<strong>  
><em>

_LE OH NO.  
>SASUKE IS WORKING WITH MADARA AND OROCHIMARU? THE DOUCHEBAG!<br>AND IS HE GOING TO LEAVE SAKURA AFTER ALL OF HER WORK TO KEEP HIM FROM THE MIZUKAGE?  
>SHE WAS SO GRATEFUL THAT HE DIDN'T LEAVE AND. GAH. THE ASSHOLE.<br>__  
><em>

_Sincerely,  
>Your Faithful Reviewer.<em>

_**Hopefully another chapter will be up soon! I have two days off! WOOT WOOT. BUT WE VILL SEE.**  
><em>

_**-EM**_


	21. Gone

_**Over 300. Love. **_

_**-EM**_

* * *

><p><em>"It was a life I didn't want to leave behind. It was a life I didn't want to forget." <em>

_-Maggie Stiefvater_

**My Darkness: Chapter XXI**

**Gone  
><strong>

**xx**

One week went by far too fast.

Sasuke barely had time to do anything and he found that trying to distance himself from Sakura was a feat he was unable to accomplish. He couldn't restrain himself from going to her at night. He needed her presence to help him sleep, to help him attempt to come to terms with what he was going to do.

It was an incredibly selfish thing to do, but he couldn't help it.

But the more he thought about leaving her; about leaving Konoha, he found himself not wanting to do it anymore. What he had with her was the only relationship he'd built since the loss of his family.

He enjoyed every minute with her.

He wanted to be by her side.

He wanted to protect her.

How the hell was he ever going to do that if he left her again? Left her so he could destroy her village nonetheless.

Sasuke pushed some hairs behind her ear, pressing his lips to her temple. Causing her more pain was the last thing he wanted, but he had to leave.

When he had first returned, his only thought had been the mission he was in Konoha for. He needed to regain his status. He needed to weasel his way back into society. He was not planning to feel anything for anyone. He hadn't even thought that Sakura could elicit any emotions from him.

Naruto had been the one he was worried about.

He was so determined that Sasuke was actually just going to let their friendship happen. He wouldn't plan it, but later on it seemed like a good idea to accept it. Konoha loved Naruto, and he needed Konoha to love Sasuke.

Sakura stirred in her sleep and nuzzled against his neck. He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling his hand clench unconsciously into a fist.

"I'm sorry." He murmured.

He felt an uncomfortable pain in his chest at the thought of leaving her. But he just had to keep reminding himself that it was necessary.

Or was it?

Could he find some way to stay in Konoha?

If all he'd been wanting to do was protect Sakura, then why the hell was he going to leave her? The next time he saw her would be when he attacked the village, and she could be killed. If he wanted to protect her he had to stay by her side and keep her no more than an arm's length away during the battle.

But the second he didn't show up when he was supposed to, Madara could change everything. He would alter the plans, change the tactics and Sasuke wouldn't know when he was going to strike.

Then maybe if he went with him, and somehow sent a message back to Konoha. A warning.

Sending a message would be risky, but he would have to do it. Madara was powerful, but no one could ever completely stop traitors.

That's what Sasuke was now. A traitor. Not that it was anything knew, that's the way Konoha had viewed him for the past six years. It was funny that the village he had betrayed was now the one he was betraying someone for.

He needed someone on the inside to know about this.

Sasuke cast a brief look down at Sakura. No, she couldn't know. Not yet.

So Sasuke grudgingly removed himself from Sakura's arms and went to the only other person he knew he could trust with his life.

Naruto.

He waited outside as Naruto got dressed. He'd woken the guy up after all, it was still early in the morning. When Naruto was finally out, they moved themselves to the old Team seven training grounds.

"What's up?" Naruto asked when they'd finally stopped walking.

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Okay." He waited expectantly, staring at the Uchiha. Words would be nice. Anything to sate the anxious feeling in his chest. What was Sasuke going to tell him? That Sakura was pregnant?

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand over his face. He couldn't hesitate with this. If he was serious about staying in Konoha then he had to tell Naruto. Someone had to know the truth.

"I haven't been completely honest with anyone."

If Naruto was surprised by the opening of Sasuke's news, he hid it well and simply bobbed his head, urging Sasuke to continue.

"I didn't come back to Konoha of my own free will. Not really." He began. "Madara and Orochimaru sent me here to try and destroy Konoha from the inside out."

He remembered too well the way he felt when Madara told him the truth about Itachi. He remembered the shock, the pain, and the urge to destroy the village that made his brother sacrifice everything.

But Itachi had done what he needed to do to restore peace, to protect the things he cared about.

Sasuke cared about Sakura. And he cared about Naruto. So he had to protect them. And that meant protecting the village he'd so badly wanted to destroy.

He finally glanced at Naruto's face, expecting the worst.

"Why are you telling me this?" While his expression was more or less calm, Sasuke could tell that Naruto wanted to knock him out. Give him a good punch to the side of the face. He wasn't sure if he would stop him either. He deserved it.

"I..." He saw Sakura's face blinding his vision, flashes of her sleeping, her smiling. "I don't want to do it anymore."

Naruto wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to fight Sasuke, and he didn't think Sasuke wanted to fight him either. After all, why tell Naruto any of this before it had transpired. But that didn't make him any less angry. He was pissed at Sasuke for lying, outraged that he had fooled him, and hurt that up until this moment Sasuke had been planning to destroy Konoha. "So don't."

"It's not that simple."

He was due to return to Orochimaru and Madara in one day. If he didn't show up, he wouldn't know Madara's plans. He wouldn't know if the man would storm the village in an outrage, or if he would completely change the tactics they'd spoke of. He explained this to Naruto, who with a grim face nodded, listening to the details.

He wasn't sure why he wanted to tell Naruto. Maybe because despite everything he had accepted their bond as best friends. Maybe, for once in his life he didn't want to make a decision alone. Maybe he just needed someone else to know; needed someone to share the burden with him. But it couldn't be Sakura. There was a reason it couldn't be Sakura.

After what felt like hours, Naruto and Sasuke had come up with a plan. It would involve Sasuke returning to Madara and Orochimaru. It would involve some of Konoha inevitably being destroyed, but it would save so many people, and the slight destruction was worth it. Konoha had come back from worse before, and they could do it again.

What confused Naruto most was that Sasuke didn't want to let Konoha know how much he was helping him. He didn't want to become a hero in the village. It would be the perfect welcome home; saving the people from the threat of Orochimaru and Madara. But no, Sasuke insisted on remaining anonymous until the battle came. If someone saw him fighting against Orochimaru, then great, but he didn't want word to spread around. For all they knew, Madara had spies in the village. There was no harm in being cautious.

"He has to be deep in the village before we attack him." Sasuke added. If Sasuke turned on them too soon, Madara would no doubt retreat and revise everything. Things had to go according to their plan. "When I get my message to you... Tsunade has to know not to attack me. If I have to fight of your shinobi and Madara's at the same time.. my chances of survival will be-"

"Slim."

"Yes."

"Okay." Naruto agreed, nodding his head. "What are you going to do about Sakura?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and shook his head. "You can't tell her any of this, Naruto."

Naruto looked more pissed about this prospect than he had when Sasuke had first told him his true intentions for returning to Konoha. "Why the hell not?"

"I can't."

"You're going to break her heart because you're too much of a coward to tell her the truth?" he nearly yelled, wanting so badly to shake some sense into him.

"It's better this way. If this doesn't turn out... if I die... it will be easier for her to hate me." It was in Sakura's best interest not to know. If someone she hated died, she may be sad for the loss of life, but the pain would be minimal. If she knew of his plans, knew of the good he was trying to do so he could stay with her, she would be more heartbroken by his death. He didn't want that. He just wanted her to be happy.

"You're just like your brother, aren't you?"

Sasuke looked up at him, startled. "What?"

"Tsunade told me. When word had spread about Itachi's death, I thought you'd be returning home. And you did, but it took a while. She explained what Itachi did, and I think it made me understand you better. Everything you did... I understand why you did it."

_"Protect? What do you mean, protect? Are you trying to be funny?"_

Sasuke felt his mind being drawn back to the cave where Madara had taken him; where he had explained everything about Itachi. Sasuke hadn't wanted to believe it. He didn't want to think about his brother as anything more than a killer, one that he had finally disposed of. He may have been family, but he had almost lost that right when he slaughtered the Uchiha clan.

_"For the sake of the shinobi world. For the sake of Konoha. And for the sake of his little brother he put everything on the line."_

Sasuke remembered how tightly he'd been holding onto the blanket. How badly he had just wanted his ears to stop working so he didn't have to listen to what Madara was saying. Some part of him wished that Itachi had done better to keep the truth a secret. It would have been so much easier if he had been able to hate his brother for the rest of his life, not have the blood of someone who had been striving for peace on his hands.

"Thank you, Naruto." He said finally, closing his eyes and tilting his chin up to the sky. It really was a relief to have someone else know. He had his reasons for trying to weasel his way back into Konoha, and they'd seemed right to him at the time.

Ironic really, that the hate he had been using as fuel to destroy the village had been overcome by the love he felt for someone. Naruto was finally right. Love was stronger than hate. He knew that now.

"She's going to hate you when you leave." Naruto pointed out. Like he didn't already know that.

"That's what I'm going for."

"But she's also going to be heartbroken."

Sasuke sighed. "You'll be there to help her through." He ran a hand over his face again, feeling slightly relieved. "I hope she can forgive me. If everything works out."

Naruto chuckled and grinned. "I think that despite how much Sakura would want to hate you, her love for you would never fade."

"I want you to be right about that."

**xx**

Everything was ready. Naruto and Sasuke had built a lie for Sakura, though Naruto wasn't too happy about it, that Sasuke was leaving for a mission. It was ordinary enough - just a mission that would last a few days. It made sense that he would finally be getting send on longer one.

But Sakura was the only one who would think that. Once Sasuke's guards figured out that he was gone, word would spread like wildfire and Sakura would find out the truth.

She would hate him, but that's what he needed her to do. Just in case.

"Don't go," she whispered, her eyes half open, watching him as he gathered his things.

If only she knew what she was saying. What meaning her words had to him that she wasn't aware of yet. His eyes softened slightly, and he crouched down beside her, brushing her hair away from her face. "I have to."

"Do you want to?"

An interesting question. Did he want to leave this woman who let him feel again? Did he want to leave the village that had accepted him again, given him another chance at life? Leaving now would ruin any chance of staying in Konoha after everything was done. They would never accept him; Sakura might never accept him. So no, he didn't _want _to. Not anymore. "No."

She smiled and rolled herself to the other side of the bed; his side. The side that smelled deliciously of him. She bit her lip and patted the space she had just evacuated. "Then stay. For a little longer."

Sakura had no idea the things he was going to do; how much pain he was going to cause her again. But if he died, it would be easier for her to hate him. Easier for her to move on again.

Sasuke sighed and crawled in next to her, letting himself pull her closer and breathe in her scent. At least one more time. He listened to her breathing slow, listened to the shallow breaths escape her lips. He never should have involved himself with her. But the idea was just so tempting, despite the outcome he knew it could have. He would have to leave her again. Subject her to the same torment that she'd endured six years ago.

But this time he was doing it because he loved her. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her.

He left when Sakura had fallen back asleep, leaving her with a kiss on her forehead and escaping into the brisk night. Winter was just coming to an end now, and spring would come. A new season, new sights, new people. Spring was a time of healing, and Sakura would need just that.

As he left the village, the aching in his chest intensified. Knowing everything that would happen. Everything was going to change now, which bothered him. He'd been content with how things were falling into place. He'd had Sakura. He'd had Naruto's friendship, and even the beginnings of a friendship with Shikamaru and Chouji.

But now, everything was gone.

Erased like it had never happened.

But he knew. He would always remember what he gave up for the girl he loved. The girl that might not even love him after everything that he did to her. He wanted to believe that she would run into his arms after she found out the truth, but he just wasn't sure. He didn't want to be to hopeful only to have his expectations crushed.

It took two days of running to get to his destination. He would assume that his guards had already sounded the alarm of his disappearance. Sakura must already hate him again, Naruto would be waiting for his final appearance to deliver the message. Everything had changed in one trip.

Sasuke wondered if the Hokage would send out another retrieval team, or if she would just let him be. He didn't think she would want to send anyone out after him, the rebels had been spotted not far from Konoha after moving from Kiri and Kumo.

That had been Madara's plan, but it didn't seem that Tsunade had fallen for it.

He wanted her to send a vast majority of her aid to Kumo and Kiri, to draw them away from Konoha so he could attack. But when that failed, he sent his men closer to Konoha, to scare her if anything.

A stupid idea, Sasuke thought. The village would be more defended now, but Madara insisted that the more Konoha shinobi to kill the better.

He wondered how many people were going to die because of him. Because of his decision. How many friends, fathers, mothers, daughters, brothers and sisters would fall. He only hoped Naruto and Sakura would not be harmed in any way shape or form. That's why he was doing this; to protect both of them.

The forest was dark as he trekked through it, waiting patiently for one of Madara's men to show themselves and escort him to where the base was. They moved it constantly, and Madara was excellent at hiding.

He was found by a nondescript shinobi, who asked him to follow in a low, gruff voice.

As he followed the man, he wondered how far away the camp was from here. There were a lot of ninja in Madara's army so the space would need to be vast and still hidden, though the hiding could easily be done by a jutsu.

Madara was waiting for him when he arrived at the camp, his arms crossed over his chest and while no one could see his face, Sasuke imagined he wasn't very impressed.

"You made little progress." He noted angrily.

"It was more difficult than I expected."

Madara sighed and gestured for the younger Uchiha to follow. "I was hoping to have the village in disarray, but no matter. Konoha has little chance with the two of us opposing them."

He felt himself smirk. The boy was becoming more promising with each passing day... Given enough time, Sasuke might even surpass _him_. Even with the falter of his duty in the Leaf village, he knew the power Sasuke possessed. He knew that when the time came to crush Konoha he wouldn't fail.

"Immerse yourself in utter loathing for the way of the Senju, Sasuke. The Will of Fire they value so highly... the peace they chose over your family. Crush them! That is your destiny! You are a shinobi - you live only for death!" Madara's smirk grew into a full-blown smile.

He had been waiting for so long to destroy Konohagakure. And now, with his army, the snake sannin and the Uchiha prodigy, he would succeed.

Sasuke grunted in response, clenching his fist at his side. His pain had made him angry and narrow-minded, and he had allowed himself to be used. Orochimaru had used his anger to grow powerful, and Madara was using the knowledge of Itachi's true intentions to turn Sasuke into a tool of mass destruction. His frail emotions and intense anger had fed into Madara's insane plans perfectly, and he had been blind to it all.

But now, he knew.

He knew what he wanted, and knew what he had to do to get it.

Destroying Konoha wasn't going to give him what he desired. He had to destroy Madara.

**xx**

Gone.

Absent.

Missing.

That's what she thought when she first heard the news. He'd gone missing on the mission; he was lost somewhere and they needed to send a search party. But when Tsunade told her and Naruto the news, she felt completely different.

Betrayed.

Abandoned.

Deceived.

When Sakura found out that Sasuke had never even been on a mission, she knew what words were going to follow. Sasuke had betrayed the village again. He'd left. What made it worse was that Tsunade had sent Pakkun after him to find out if he was being disloyal to the village or if he just couldn't stomach to live in the village where his family had been slaughtered.

Then, she thought he had decided to go to the Mizukage.

But Tsunade had proved her wrong. Pakkun had returned. He'd followed Sasuke for a day and a half and saw where the Uchiha had stopped. Apparently, there was some kind of camp disguised by a powerful genjutsu. She didn't know how Pakkun had figured that out, and she didn't care. She just wanted him to be lying.

Slowly, the realization sank in, and Sakura felt her heart plummet with it.

The pain was almost unbearable at first. To know that the man she had fallen in love with, _twice, _had just hurt her again. But this was different. Six years ago it was only a petty crush on her part. Sasuke hadn't shown any feelings towards her other than being her teammate. But this time, he'd kissed her, he'd held her, he'd whispered in her ear. In the end, she just wasn't good enough.

That bastard.

How he could do this to her again? After everything he'd told her about her letting him feel again; about him needing her. Was it all just a set up? Were none of those things real? As much as she wanted to deny it, they had been real for her. She'd loved him, wanted to protect him. And his thank you was a slap to the face.

Even though she knew she had every right to cry, she couldn't find it in her. Because at the moment, all she felt was bitter anger. She wanted to hurt him so badly, wanted to make him feel like she was feeling at that moment. Completely torn. She wanted to kill him, and there was still a part of her that loved him.

Naruto followed her as she walked numbly back to her house, stopping every once in a while like she might fall over. He stayed at her side, aching to tell her the truth. Things would still be okay. He was sure that Sasuke wasn't expecting Tsunade to send someone after him, and finding out where he had gone might be a slight set back, but Naruto had to tell the Hokage the truth anyways.

It was Sakura that was breaking his heart. He hadn't seen her this sad in a long time and he hated it. He hated watching the people he cared about upset, but there was nothing he could do to make her feel better. Sasuke insisted that this was necessary, though Naruto still wanted to knock him out for it.

What would Sakura do to him when she found out? Would she hate him for keeping the truth from her?

"I'm sorry, Sakura." He said, taking her hand.

She looked at him and smiled, shrugging her shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. "It's okay."

But it wasn't.

It definitely wasn't.

**xx**

* * *

><p><strong><em>SASUKE YOU POOPY BRAIN.<em>  
><strong>

_Well. Sasuke is definitely a tard face, but hey, at least he's trying to be good!  
>But still, Sakura's heart is surely SHATTERED. THE ASS.<br>Hopefully everything turns out okay!_

_Sincerely,  
>Your Faithful Reviewer<em>

_**I should have another chapter up very soon :D**  
><em>

_**Lire et réviser!  
>Lesen und überprüfen!<br>Read and review!**_

_**-EM**_


	22. Shattered

_**THANKS REVIEWERS. LOVE YOU GUYS.**_

_**-EM**_

* * *

><p><em>"In the absence of love, we began slowly but surely to fall apart."<strong><br>**_

_-Marianne Williamson_

**My Darkness: Chapter XXII**

**Shattered  
><strong>

**xx**

Sakura blinked, trying to wake herself up as she stared at the empty space in front of her with bitter sadness. There were no arms around her, no warm body beside her. He was gone. Her hand tightened into a fist around the sheets and she rolled out of bed, slamming her hand against her dresser as she passed by to change.

She couldn't stay there. That's where she always saw him, in her bed. Where he would reach up and push stray hairs from her face and kiss her forehead, cheeks and lips.

The minute she was dressed, she ran to the training grounds where she, Naruto and Sai often met to laze around. There were no students out sparring, the field was barren and empty and she found herself pulling her knees up to her chest as the sobs finally started to rack her body.

She hadn't cried when Tsunade first told her. She hadn't cried when Naruto and Sai had approached her with sad, pitiful faces. She hadn't cried yet, because she wasn't sure if she was sad or angry. Anger had been her first response, but now what? She definitely wasn't happy, and if the tears were anything she realized that she was heartbroken. Because she had let herself get attached again. The thing that really bothered her was that if Sasuke returned, laughing and telling her that it had all been a joke, she would run to his arms.

She loved him.

It wasn't the same love she'd had six years before. It was a deeper more mature love that wasn't just going to go away if she willed it to. There would be no healing the scars that Sasuke had left behind, not so easily, and while she didn't want to forgive him for what he'd done, she wanted him back.

Sakura remembered exactly how she had felt when she was thirteen and woke up to find herself abandoned on a bench by the boy she thought she was in love with. The feeling she had this time around was ten times worse. She hadn't had a real physical connection with him back then, after all, they were so young and Sasuke wasn't interested at all. But now, to have that experience with him and have him leave her again... it made her feel worthless.

It felt like part of her heart was missing now, and she would never get it back.

She constantly reminded herself that the pain was her own doing. She should not have let herself fall for him again. The walls she had managed to build up should have stayed in place. Maybe she would get over it eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later but it didn't make it hurt any less at that moment. She couldn't help but wonder if leaving was his plan the entire time, or if he had just decided she wasn't good enough for him; too weak maybe.

She stayed in the field, watching as the sun slid below the horizon and the moon showed its brilliance against the dark night sky. It was night that bothered her the most. That was when Sasuke always visited her, that was when she would be expecting him and his warm arms and soft kisses. Now they were gone, and it was unlikely that they would ever be back.

He'd betrayed the village once more; he would never have a place in Konoha, not after a second act of treason. The council would not have it. And if what Tsunade's source said was true, an army was soon to be marching on the city with Sasuke with it, ready to crush the village.

Sakura would be ready. She would be ready to fight him and let him know that she would never be messed with again. If it came down to it... if she had to do it... she would kill him. She would have to.

Time was irrelevant to her, it seemed that only the stars mattered. So when Naruto joined her in what she assumed was the middle of the night, she was surprised to see him. He laid down next to her, resting his hand behind his head as he watched the stars. He didn't speak for quite a long time, and she was grateful for his presence. Sometimes that was all it took.

"Are you okay?" He said finally, never taking his eyes off the sky.

Sakura let out a shaky breath and shrugged, not sure of the answer herself. "He told me he was going on a mission. I didn't know."

"Then he didn't want to hurt you." Naruto said comfortingly, willing her to understand.

"I'm not so sure. I think it was just another lie from him. Everything was a lie."

"You loved him, Sakura."

"I've realized something though; love doesn't always have a happy ending. Just because you love someone enough, doesn't mean that they're the right person. It doesn't mean that they love you back."

Sakura looked over at him with a sad smile. She knew she loved him, it was just that she didn't want to anymore. Why couldn't she find love in someone she knew would never leave her? Someone she knew would never leave the village. Like Kiba or Shikamaru. But no, her heart found love in the one man who was doomed to hurt her.

They sat in quiet for a while longer, content with the calming presence of her best friend, Sakura found herself trying to accept what was going to have to happen If Sasuke attacked her, she would have to kill him. She would have to stop him and she couldn't hesitate. It would be hard... it might even be traumatizing.. but she had to.

Naruto finally forced her to leave the field and start on her way home, something she was very reluctant to do.

Sakura let out a breath and ran a hand over her face. He was everywhere again. Everywhere she didn't want him to be. It was exactly like six years ago, except this time she felt like a fool for letting herself get attached. She'd known that this was always a possibility, but chose to ignore it.

Now as she walked home from work at the hospital and passed Ichiraku's, she imagined him sitting there with Naruto, his dark eyes staring into the bowl in front of him as Naruto chattered on about something menial. A few days later when she went to train with Hinata, she saw him sparring there with an invisible opponent, watching as he calculated their moves. When she got home, he was laying in her bed, right next to where she would be, the sheets tangled around him as he spoke softly to her.

She just couldn't get rid of him.

Sakura slumped down onto her bed, still unable to shake the faint image of him laying next to her from her mind. Why did she let herself fall into his web again? It didn't matter how sweet some moments had been with him, didn't matter that she enjoyed being near him. She should have known better. There was no way to trust an Uchiha.

She didn't sleep that night.

Apparently she had been so used to having someone there next to her, having one of his arms draped protectively over her side, that now she found his absence unnerving. She wondered why there had been no sign of waterworks yet. Maybe it was because she'd been expecting something like this to happen. But if that was the case then why did her heart feel like someone was squeezing it far too tightly? Why did she feel his absence like a gaping hole in her chest with a sign that said 'Sasuke was here.'

Everything she did in a day somehow reminded her of the raven-haired boy that had captured her heart again. Because after a days work she would return to find him waiting there. Not to use her as a tool for passion, but just to be near her in a way that she enjoyed as well. It had been enough to know he was there, to hear his steady breathing next to her as they lay there.

Had her feelings been one-sided then? Had Sasuke's words meant nothing to him?

_I need you._

Those words had put a lot of things into perspective for Sakura... and if they'd been nothing more than meaningless words to him then where did that leave her? So much of her time wasted on someone who she was nothing more than a tool to? Hell, she'd told him that she _loved _him. How much of a fool did she appear now? Sasuke was probably laughing at her, that fucking smirk plastered on his face as he thought about that moment.

The most terrible, horrible thing was... she didn't think those emotions she had faded at all with his betrayal. Yeah, she was pissed at him, and there may be a little bit of malice and hatred there, but there was still the love that burned within her; a constant reminder.

She was a little bit surprised when Sai sat down beside her one day, joining her in the simple act of watching the clouds.

"You're out here a lot." He commented, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. It was something he'd noticed. Something that Naruto had been complaining about incessantly as well, and it seemed the suitable thing to do would be to kindly ask Sakura to return to her normal day to day activities. For her own sake, and for that of the people who Naruto complained to. Namely himself and Shikamaru.

"I like it out here." She said, though he knew that wasn't the entirety of it. Liking a place wasn't good enough to alienate oneself from their village. It was rare to see her in the streets, she left for the clearing right after work and returned only when it was time to sleep. She was being sent on no missions once again, though not many people were. Tsunade was busy preparing the village for the inevitable attack she saw coming now that Sasuke had joined an army.

That was the greater part of the reason Sakura had hidden herself out here, Sai thought. He was out enough to hear what people were saying about her. They felt that Sakura was going through too much to maintain her position as an Anbu Captain, something Sai knew was untrue. Sakura was very capable, and it was the duty of a shinobi to keep their personal and work lives separate. He knew Sakura had always been able to balance the two things well, but now that Sasuke had shown up and left again, it seemed that the balance had shifted.

They also gossiped about the relationship that they felt had been brewing between the two of them. Rumors spread like wildfire, especially among the women that had nothing fulfilling to do with their days except talk about other lives seemingly more interesting than their own. He would never understand the allure of such gossip. They should be focusing on their own lives and not busying themselves trying to get information on someone else's.

"The best way to escape reality without running is smiling, though it is obviously fake." He stated, turning to look at her again, and hoping that his words would touch her in a way that none of the other attempts had. "You loved him."

She let a small smile grace her features and she nodded. "Yeah. But when the final battle comes, I'll have to kill him. That's just our reality. We both know exactly where we stand." Sakura whispered, looking up at the cloudless sky. It was spring now. The time when she was wrapped in his arms seemed so long ago. In a winter that she would never be able to get back. Did she want to get it back though? did she want to love him again knowing that he would only betray her?

Sai followed her eyes and looked at the sky as well. Her voice was sad. Very un-Sakura like.

It bothered him.

**xx**

Naruto sighed, running a tired hand over his face and falling back on the bed, eyes meeting Hinata's. "You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" She murmured, moving to rest Naruto's head on her lap.

"I'm thinking about the effect this is having on Sakura." He was grateful that Hinata wasn't exactly the jealous type, because lately all they'd been able to talk about was Sakura. How she was faring, how she was dealing with work and being without him. But Hinata and Sakura were good friends, and she knew that his eyes were only for her. Sakura was his best friend, his first crush, yes, but he found her friendship invaluable. "I don't know what to do."

More than anything, he wanted to tell her the truth. He hated watching the way it was eating her up inside and keeping the knowledge of what Sasuke was really doing to himself.

Hinata put a small smile on her face and ran a comforting hand through his hair. "Sakura's strong, Naruto, you know that. She knew something like this could happen, she would have prepared herself."

He shook his head. "I have no doubt she'd prepared herself. It's just... she's always been his. Even if neither of them completely understood it until recently." He sighed again and closed his eyes. "Too many guys have asked me if she was the same Sakura that was on Team 7. Civilian guys, curious because of her looks. The second I tell them she is, they ask about Sasuke. They always ask about Sasuke. It's there for everyone to see; she gave her heart to him a long time ago, Sasuke's just finally given his in return."

"And to have that ripped away from her..." Hinata continued, pressing her lips together.

"Exactly."

Naruto chewed on his cheek. He'd had to deal with Sakura like this once before, but it was different somehow. Maybe because she wasn't locked in her house crying; because she was dealing with it like any strong woman would. She wasn't refusing to be seen outside for fear of things reminding her of Sasuke, she was out walking the streets, even taking extra shifts at the hospital. When she wasn't out, she was in the field, but that was okay. Everyone needed some time. The gossip was the worst, but then it always was. Especially coming from the women that Sakura worked with.

The rumors they spouted got under _his_ skin, so he could hardly imagine what it was doing to Sakura. But she never complained. Never flipped out on them. Every time she heard a new one, she would put a sad smile on her face and continue to her office like nothing had happened. It was Ino and Naruto that she had to restrain from marching over there and giving them a piece of their minds.

Sai was the one who actually did it.

They were waiting for Sakura to finish some paperwork before they left to train. Sai looked nonchalant as ever, though his eyes were locked on three women gathering around someone's desk.

"That's Sai, right?" They whispered, thinking he couldn't hear. But he was a Shinobi, his hearing was acute.

"Yeah," another one said, letting her eyes rake over his body. "He's so good looking."

He was used to this, women fawning over him and wishing that he would bed them.

"He's so similar to Sasuke, it's kind of scary." the other murmured, their eyes shyly glancing over at him.

He was _not _used to that.

"I see your point, but Sasuke had that dangerous edge to him. I like bad boys."

"You don't think Sai looks dangerous?"

"I just think Sasuke is more alluring."

"Do you think that's why Sakura's hanging around him? I heard her and Sasuke had something going, and then he abandoned her because she was too weak."

"Sai is like a replacement! Do you think?"

"I don't know! I'll ask Sachi-"

Sai had marched over to them and was looming over their desk, a panicked Naruto behind them. "Hi there." He said, putting on one of his fake smiles. The women blushed and waggled their fingers, looking like the mindless nurses they were. They all sputtered a simultaneous hello and averted their eyes.

"Did you know Sasuke?" He asked, still looking cheerful, though Naruto knew that was not the case. The women shook their heads. No. "Do you know Sakura?" They shook their heads again and Sai nodded, taking in their answers. "And do you know me?"

At this, the women grew uncomfortable, and Sai could tell there was something one of them was wanting to say, a coy smile on her face. But they all shook their heads again. "No."

"Then you know nothing about what happened or what is going to happen in the future regarding any of us, do you?"

"But we've heard-"

He narrowed his eyes and silenced the girl. "You should find something more productive to do with your day than talk about other people's lives." He snapped, causing the women to recoil and attempt to look busy with paperwork.

He turned away from them, and the women scattered, leaving one left at the desk, red in the face and continuing in her attempts to look like she was doing something useful.

Naruto grinned in spite of himself. "Wow, Sai."

He turned to Naruto, though he didn't see the genial personality Sai usually tried to put forth. His face was grim, and his eyes seemed to be lit by some inner fire. "Rumors become deformed as they travel, but they wouldn't exist without women like that. I don't want them to hurt Sakura any more than they are already."

Naruto's grin grew and he clapped Sai on the back. He was a good teammate.

**xx**

She lost track of time. While she was trying to stay in her head and focus on something other than his absence, it was incredibly hard. She dove headfirst into her work, taking more of Tsunade's load off of her hands than she needed to. But Sakura needed to be busy. She needed to stay at the hospital and work, or she would want to go to the clearing, and then she would do nothing but think about him.

Because the love she had always burned within her, no matter how often she told herself to move on.

But she still went to the clearing, even when she tried not to. She _needed _that time to herself. Where it was quiet. Where she could reflect on the very obvious mistakes she had made with him.

She still hadn't cried. Not until Naruto showed up.

He was quiet at first, not wanting to say anything, but he never had to. Naruto had such a comforting presence around everyone. Because you knew that he cared about you, and that he didn't want to see you sad.

"He did love you, Sakura."

She didn't want to hear that. Especially not from Naruto. If he loved her at all he wouldn't have left.

Much of her life had been devoted to trying not to cry in front of the people who cared about her, so she recognized the motions when they started. She clenched her teeth, she looked up, and she started to tell herself that if Naruto saw her cry, it would hurt him, and she would become nothing but a sadness in his life. She didn't want to be a sadness. She didn't want anyone's pity.

Naruto recognized what she was doing though; he had seen it so many times before. Sakura was trying to be strong for him, but he didn't want her to be. He wanted her to let it out. To cry and feel so much better. "It's okay to cry, Sakura."

She shook her head, still staring at the sky. "But I'm trying so hard not to. Because every tear is just one more reminder that I don't know how to let him go." She wanted to, oh god she wanted to. But she just didn't know how.

"You don't need to let him go." He whispered, trying to be the good friend and help her through her present, but also trying to lay some ground work for Sasuke if he made it through everything. He wanted them to be together, and he couldn't do that by telling Sakura to hate him and get over him. "You just need to learn how to live without him."

That was when she cried.

That was when Naruto took her in his arms and held her like the best friend in the world until she needed him to stop. Crying helped. It relieved the pressure she was feeling. Crying is to a woman like swearing is to a man. It relieves frustration, anger, sadness. It just helps.

She needed to cry. To try and get over him. Or at least learn to live around the hole in her heart that he created as Naruto said.

It may hurt, but it would heal. Hopefully. Eventually.

It had to.

She couldn't feel so torn up forever. Some guy would patch her up, some guy that would always be compared to the Uchiha that left her behind. No, she would never find someone else for exactly that reason. Every man would have to measure up to the way Sasuke made her feel while he was in Konoha. It might be sad, and it might be pitiful, but it was the truth.

She would always love him.

**xx**

_You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, _  
><em>and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.<em>

**xx**

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><p><strong><em>And there we go! See, I told you it would be a fast update.<br>It should be decently faster from now on, because I have a few scenes already done, I just have to pastey them TOGEZAH._  
><em>So yes, things should be moving along a little bit faster, as we are nearing the end of our story. :) <em>  
><em>GAH! I KNOW. SO SAD.<em>  
><em>But hey, it was a good run :D<em>**

_Poor Sakura. Hopefully she can get over him for now.  
><em>_BUT WHEN HE COMES BACK THEY HAVE TO BE IN LOVE AGAIN. OKAY?_  
><em>Look at Sai, being a good teammate and helping Sakura. STUPID GOSSIPS.<em>**  
><strong>

_Sincerely,  
>Your Faithful Reviewer<em>

_**yayayaya.**_

_**Now is the time that you press that lovely blue button and REVIEW. BECAUSE YOU LUFF ME.**_

_**-EM**_


	23. It Begins

**_I can't even express how much all of the reviews mean to me! Every single one of them! Thank you so much._**

**_-EM_**

* * *

><p><em>"Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but love."<em>

_-William Shakespeare_

**My Darkness: Chapter XXIII**

**It Begins  
><strong>

**xx**

They got the message two days before the attack began.

Sasuke found Naruto training, and told him that the army was waiting not far from the gates. They wouldn't be seen unless Madara wanted them to be seen; not even the Byakugan could see through his genjutsu.

"So we won't know where they are until they strike." Naruto said calmly even as his fist clenched at his side.

Sasuke nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Let Tsunade know. Prepare yourselves."

"Are you going to see Sakura?" Naruto asked hopefully.

Sasuke's heart tightened. "You know I can't."

But he did. It was late at night, and he knew she would be sleeping. So he stood on her balcony, staring in through the window at her sleeping form. She looked extremely tired, like she hadn't been sleeping much at all. He hoped he wasn't the cause of that, but something in his chest knew he was exactly the reason.

He wanted her to know that he hadn't been sleeping well either. He wanted her to know that without her presence he was restless and unsure. More than anything, he wanted to step into her room like he used to; wanted to brush her hair aside and press his lips against her cheek.

The minute she stirred, Sasuke vanished. It was risky to be away from Madara's camp longer than he needed to be. He didn't want to raise any suspicions.

He sat quietly by the fire in a nondescript cave trying to ease his mind by focusing on the gentle crackling and popping sounds reverberating off the walls. There were hundreds of men sleeping just outside of his enclosure, waiting eagerly for the moment to attack. They had been sent all over the countries; Kirigakure, Kumogakure, and some to the outskirts of Suna, wreaking havoc and trying to draw the Konoha shinobi out.

They were exhausted, and yet he knew every single one of them was ready to obey Madara.

Every single one of them was ready to crush Konoha.

And every time he thought about what was going to come in a few days, a lot of things crossed his mind. A lot of things that were uncertain.

Would he be able to find Sakura in the midst of the battle? Would he get to her in time, or would she be dead; would he be dead? He couldn't stop worrying about her, even when he tried not to. Especially when he tried not to.

It was killing him to be away from her.

**xx**

When Naruto told Tsunade of the situation, he wasn't actually expecting her to believe him, not without a lot of persuasion. But it was like the Hokage had seen this coming. When he told her about Madara, she didn't seem surprised either.

"Something was fishy about those constant attacks. I know exactly what the fool was thinking. Wanting to draw my forces out of the village." She slammed her fist down on the desk. "Get everyone ready for an attack. Move the civilians into the mountains."

She stood up suddenly, nodding to two men standing by her doors as they scrambled to leave. "If Madara wants a war, we're going to be ready."

"His army is huge, Tsunade, we can't face him alone."

She turned her eyes on Naruto and nodded. "I had a feeling something bad was happening. Odd that those men were attacking every village nearby the main ones except ours. Something wasn't right." She waved a hand for Naruto to follow her down the hall. "I appealed to the Kazekage for help a few days ago. His forces should be here soon."

She continued walking, occasionally barking orders at someone passing them in the hall. He could tell she wanted to be prepared. She wanted to kill Madara and Sasuke when it came down to it.

But Naruto couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let Sasuke be killed. He was too important to him and to Sakura. Tsunade made sure the preparations took exactly two days. The civilians were in the mountain safe houses, every shinobi was armed and ready to defend themselves and their village at a moments notice.

All they could do now was wait.

If Sasuke was telling the truth, Madara was planning to attack when the sun was almost behind the mountains. Some kind of symbolic crap; Konoha going down with the sun or something like that. He wanted the majority of the battle to be fought in the darkness, apparently his army would have the upper hand because their vision had been altered. Naruto didn't know the entire story.

Madara wanted darkness because his army would have the upper hand.

That's all he got.

So now he stood with his comrades, watching the gates with eyes like hawks, searching for any kind of movement. Sasuke said that Madara was keeping his army hidden with a powerful genjutsu... would he try to maintain that in the battle? Was that the upper hand they would have with vision? If they couldn't be seen, it wouldn't be much of a challenge.

No, someone would dispell the genjutsu; there were too many powerful shinobi in Konoha to have it left up.

Naruto looked to Sakura beside him, her face a mask of determination. He wondered how she was feeling knowing that she might have to kill Sasuke. He wouldn't let her though, he would not let her out his sight and anywhere near Sasuke.

She turned to him and smiled, giving him a determined look.

The village was quiet all of a sudden; too quiet. No birds singing, barely even a wind, and Naruto knew what was going to come soon. He kept his eyes locked on the space in front of him, his muscles tense and ready for the battle that was to come.

Not five seconds later, the gates of Konoha shattered.

It was starting.

**xx**

Sasuke was with Madara's army when they charged the city, but the second they were in, he left the group, slinking into a back alley to find her. He had to find her and keep an eye out, but he didn't know where she would be. Would she be using her healing abilities and be in the rear of the defense? Or would she be one of the medics in the front lines with her comrades?

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to locate her familiar chakra through the already messy battlefield.

Konoha had been quick to charge their oncoming attackers. Hundreds upon hundreds of shinobi were in the streets, engaging eachother and defend their teammates. That's what was different about the two armies. Konoha protected their own. They had squads, and everyone in the squad would protect their friends with their lives. Then, squads would help other squads. In Madara's army, the men were just thrown together, all uniting under Madara because he told them to. There was no real camaraderie. They were there to fight and to kill with no regard for anyone else.

He was fortunate to feel a spike of Sakura's chakra not far from where he was perched and he immediately started moving towards it. She was fighting next to Naruto and Kiba, the three working together as a seamless team.

Not that he was showing it, but Sasuke was absolutely stunned. He'd seen Sakura training with the Hyuuga, but that had been a spar, she hadn't been fighting to defend her village. With a single punch she had thrown one of Madara's men at least two hundred metres away. With one kick she had opened deep cracks in the solid ground.

His Sharingan didn't fail to notice the chakra releasing from her hands and cutting ligaments as soon as her fingers came in contact with any skin; that was an ability he had witnessed earlier, but not to this magnitude. She had only paralyzed Hinata, not severed her tendons and muscles. He expected this, after all, Sakura had become an excellent medic and her chakra control had always been perfect. But he never would have imagined that Sakura could be so dangerous.

And then she was looking straight at him, her hair being moved by the wind, green eyes narrowing on his face. She looked determined and fierce, like a predator ready to jump on its prey. He had been trying to hide, trying to watch her from a distance and make sure that she stayed safe. But she sensed him there, somehow she knew.

But Sasuke knew the look in her eyes and it was easy enough to read her feelings. She was angry, confused, tired and decided. Her posture was emitting an inner strength and tension, the muscles in her legs seemed ready to spring.

He jumped away suddenly, not wanting her to start fighting him. He just wanted to watch her, protect her and make sure that she survived. But he was trying to do it quietly, if she alerted Kiba and the other shinobi from Konoha he would have his hands full. He wasn't surprised that she followed him, stopping on the other end of the empty rooftop.

"Sasuke!" She yelled, taking a few steps towards him. It only took her a moment to realize that it was just the two of them. But seeing Sasuke there made her so mad. She wanted to yell at him, scream at him, but instead he'd run. And she was so determined to follow him, she didn't even think twice before leaving Naruto and Kiba.

He took a quiet breath, knowing that he wasn't ready to face her yet. There was no time to run again, she would only follow him. "Sakura." He said, his voice returning to that flat emotionless tone that he'd had before he'd returned. Before Sakura had awoken some part of him that was willing to feel.

Her heart ached at the sound of his voice, realizing how wrong she had been about him. He would never change. There would always be one thing on his mind and that was his revenge. Always doing what was best for avenging his clan and never thinking about himself; at least not in the long term.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked, hoping that there was some chance he would tell her that this entire thing was a ruse. He looked like nothing but a shadow, the sunset casting an eerie orange glow on everything but left Sasuke's expression shadowed.

His eyes leveled with hers, and he shook his head. "You don't understand." He responded, not wanting to break his cover yet. He couldn't fight with her, not until he knew Madara was deep in Konoha.

She shook her head in return, rage bubbling inside her. "Don't tell me I don't understand. It's your revenge again, right? You think destroying Konoha will fix everything but it won't, Sasuke!" She shouted. "Revenge isn't going to bring your family back and revenge isn't going to make anyone happy! Not even yourself!" Sakura glared at him, getting more pissed off as he showed no reaction to her.

He frowned, trying his best to keep his face emotionless. He found it nearly impossible to lie to Sakura. She was the only person that could make his heart feel like it was being torn out of his chest. The only person that made him want to ruin his plans so she wouldn't hate him any longer.

"You're annoying." He stated bluntly, turning around before he could do anything stupid.

He was lying. Of course he was lying to her; it was the thing he did best. Hurting her, betraying her. He wanted to let her know that he still cared for her; he would probably still need her if there was any way for him to feel again. But it was too late to back out now.

In a fit of rage, she threw a few kunai at him that gained his attention once more before running towards him, chakra scalpels extending from her fingertips. He was not going to get away with it; not again. She would make him realize that betraying Konoha again was the biggest mistake of his life. Betraying _her _again. After all the things he said, it was all just part of his stupid plan. He'd been acting the entire time, trying to gain her trust again.

He ran at her as well, his blade at his side, Sharingan activated. And yet as their weapons clashed and they dodged and parried, Sasuke never once used it on her. Not to paralyze her, not to get her caught in a genjutsu, nothing.

Which made her wonder once more what he was planning. His Sharingan was one of his greatest weapons, and for him not to use it to end a battle as quickly as possible made her a little bit suspicious.

As she questioned his motives, she wasn't really paying attention to where she was swinging her fists and kunai until she found his sword moving towards her chest at a fast pace. In a panic, she tried to block the blade with a kunai, to no avail. Kusanagi ripped through the smaller weapon, breaking it in half and driving part of it into her shoulder. She screamed from the pain, but still managed to follow through with one of her punches and let herself smirk as she heard a sickening crack, her fist coming into contact with something breakable.

But that was the only time he'd tried to hurt her, and the only hit she'd landed on him. The majority of the time he spent dodging her attacks and trying to get behind her. Sakura knew that the second he got behind her would be the end of the battle, and she couldn't have that yet. Not until either she or Sasuke was dead.

"Was everything just a game for you then?" She yelled, her kunai clashing with his sword.

"I did what had to be done." He muttered in return, parrying an array of her senbon with one fell swoop of his sword. Nothing was a game. He'd meant every word he'd said to her. Every touch, every kiss had meant something invaluable to him.

They were caught in a standstill, her kunai pushing against his sword as they battled for the upper hand. "Did it mean anything to you?" She hissed, trying to sound intimidating though he detected an undertone to her words. There was no way to make those words threatening because he knew the look in her eyes. He knew that she wanted him to say that she meant something, that he wasn't pretending.

He wasn't pretending. He could never fake what he was feeling, not with her.

_Lie and you will lose her._

He knew it to be true, but he'd betrayed her so many times he wasn't sure if she was still there for him to lose. As he stared into her eyes, those wide and vulnerable eyes that he had so often lost himself in he wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth. To stop their battle and pull her into his arms.

When he'd come to Konoha, he had next to nothing. No real goal other than to crush the village, no feelings for anyone or cares in the world; he wouldn't have cared if he died back then. Sakura changed everything. She made him want to live, made him want to stay in Konoha with her, and made him want to be friends with Naruto. She led him out of the darkness and into the light that she emanated. He didn't care what the cost was, he couldn't lose her.

It would jeopardize everything. Madara wasn't in the village yet and if Sasuke switched sides already, Madara would catch wind and possibly retreat. He realized something though. Madara was powerful, and unless Sasuke figured out how to block the waves that he used to teleport, the elder Uchiha would simply vanish if he felt his side was losing.

"It meant everything to me." He whispered suddenly, watching as her eyes widened and she drew in a short, quick breath. He let his sword fall to his side and Sakura, after only a moments hesitation, had her kunai pressed against his neck.

There was no way to know if he was telling the truth, and she couldn't give him any room to fool her. But even as she held the kunai against his skin, her hand was trembling, a familiar feeling in her chest ready to explode. "If you're trying to trick me again, Sasuke, I-"

He moved forward then, his hands landing on her shoulders. "I'm not."

The moments that she stared at him, contemplating whether or not he was telling the truth, were some of the longest of his life. She wanted to believe him so badly because she wanted him back. Wanted his arms and his lips and his soft whispers. But she wanted to be mad at him. She wanted to be pissed off and angry and she was, but it wasn't right. His eyes were earnest and they shimmered with honesty and were doing everything in their power to melt her resolve.

But a voice in her head kept reminding her that he had just betrayed her. He'd broken her heart, abandoned the village once again and was not to be trusted.

"Do it." He said suddenly, pulling her closer, the kunai pressing harder against his neck. Sakura loosened her grip, pulling away slightly, but not enough to give him any room to escape. "If you want me gone then I have nothing else to live for."

He noticed the way her lips trembled though he also saw a fierce determination in her eyes. This was a turning point, but he wasn't scared at all. He wasn't scared of death, because if that meant Sakura didn't want him anymore then he would have no reason to breathe. No reason to keep on living. She was _everything _to him, and he only wished that he'd let her know that more often.

"Why did you do this?"

"I had no choice."

"Everyone has a choice." She said, her hand still shaking though her eyes were fiery. She pressed her blade a little bit harder, so it slightly bit into his skin. "I tried to prepare myself for this moment; to kill you when the time came, to protect my village and my friends." She whispered. "But I can't." Sakura closed her eyes and lowered her kunai, letting out a shaky breath.

It was the hold he had over her heart. The one that made her feel like she would forgive him over and over again. No, not forgive him, but half accept his apology. If she couldn't kill him, she was going to have to try and trust him not to kill her.

"Sakura-" He started, reaching out to comfort her.

"Don't touch me."

He recoiled as if she'd slapped him and let his hand drop to his side. "I'm sorry."

Her eyes flashed dangerously to his face she shook her head. "If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it." Her expression may have been strong, but her voice was still shaky and weak. "It was a mistake. But the cruel thing is, it feels like the mistake was mine, for trusting you." She caught his eyes again. "Can I have your word now that you won't kill me?"

He nodded. "Of course."

Sakura let out a breath and resisted the urge to touch him. She'd missed him so much, but one apology wasn't enough to forgive him, not yet. The wound was still fresh, and it was going to take some time to heal. He'd hurt her yet again. "Fight with me, then."

"I had a feeling you weren't with us anymore." Someone sneered, from behind Sasuke. She felt him tense and she dropped her hand, glancing over his shoulder at the intruder.

Sasuke whirled around, moving Sakura behind him and facing his enemy. "Orochimaru." he hissed.

Sakura bent down and picked up his katana, slipping it into his hand and drawing her own kunai out. Orochimaru was someone she had feared for the greater part of her life. When he'd attacked them in the chunin exams, she was too young and inexperienced to be much help. When he attacked Konoha and killed the Hokage, she was still young and confused. But now, now she would be able to stop him. She was Anbu, she was powerful, and she could do this.

Plus, Sasuke was with her, and she'd seen on more than one occasion what he could do.

"Stay behind me." He murmured so quietly that she almost didn't hear him.

"Sasuke-"

"Please." There was a broken note to his voice, and she wanted to do what he asked. But she wasn't going to let him fight Orochimaru by himself. She would be there to help him, she would not sit back and watch.

She touched his back and moved to the side of him, standing her ground as Orochimaru gave her a once over. "Anbu." He mused.

Then he lunged.

Sakura and Sasuke both jumped back, avoiding the oncoming man. He pushed off of the ground and beelined for Sakura who immediately threw two kunai at him cursing as he dodged them easily.

Extending the chakra scalpels from her fingertips, she started to run at him as well, determined to land a hit on him and at least incapacitate something. That was the problem with her offensive techniques as a medic. She needed to get close to him so she could sever tendons. The closer to Orochimaru that she got, the harder she felt her heart pounding. She was going head to head with a legendary Sannin. She had no doubt that he was powerful, if he hit her first she would be screwed.

Orochimaru vanished from her sight and she felt a painful sting in her already wounded shoulder as she spun to search for him. Sasuke's sword hadn't gone deep into her skin, but swinging her arm around to find Orochimaru seemed to have torn the gash open a little wider.

A few yards away from her, she saw Sasuke strafing away from his opponent, making it look like an intricate dance that they'd choreographed together. It also made her panic. Even as she watched the two of them fight each other, she couldn't shake the feeling that Sasuke could still be on his side. That this was an attempt to force her into trusting him in battle so he could turn on her.

He'd done it to himself. Broken her trust all on his own.

She reached into her medicinal pouch, pulling out a small vial of poison and dipping the tip of her kunai into it. If she hit him, an arm at least she could make the fight a hell of a lot easier.

Because for some reason she knew that this battle wouldn't end until someone was dead.

She charged then, poisoned kunai in hand as Sasuke distracted the Sannin with a mixture of lightning and fire attacks combined with his sword. The roof in front of her suddenly exploded, distracting her from their fight and showering her with a mass of debris and dust.

Sakura jumped, avoiding any attacks that might have been landed on her at ground level. Snakes burst up from the dust and tried to twist themselves around her body; thick snakes with heads almost as big as her entire form. She knew that if they wrapped around her, she would be crushed. With a wave of kunai and strategically placed senbon, she was able to ward them off until she landed on the ground, forcing chakra to her feet and creating a crater to avoid any other incoming snakes until she was prepared.

"What are you expecting to gain by betraying us?" Orochimaru hissed, parrying Sasuke's sword with a calm face. "Konoha won't accept you now. No one will."

Sasuke seemed unaffected by his words. He'd trained under Orochimaru, he knew his tricks. He'd been the one who told Sasuke that the best way to gain ground in a battle is to find a weak spot through words. He wasn't going to be fooled by his old mentor.

"You're a monster now. A blood-thirsty, power-hungry monster." His grin grew, and Sasuke wanted to do nothing more than wipe it from his face. "We can still eliminate Konoha, Sasuke, just like the three of us planned. We can still avenge your brother. Konoha wronged him."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but other than that he did not falter. He continued sending flames down his sword, and infusing the metal with lightning. All he wanted to do now was shut the Snake Sannin up. He would not be rejoining with him and Madara. There was a new path, and he was going to take it.

Without any warning, Orochimaru switched opponents, charging at Sakura with his blade and sending a wave of snakes back at Sasuke. He drew a sword from inside of his shirt, followed by snakes twisting from seemingly nowhere and falling to the ground. Sakura winced as she blocked Orochimaru's sword with her kunai and used her chakra scalpels to rip through the twisting coils of snakes that continually burst out of his deceptively loose fitting clothing.

"Sakura!" She recognized his voice before she saw his face, an orange blur appearing in front of her and swiping at Orochimaru who quickly vanished into a pile of hissing snakes.

She hesitated, watching as Naruto and Sasuke exchanged what could only be described as an all-knowing look, like things were playing out exactly like the two of them had planned. Like Naruto had been part of the attack on Konoha to create some kind of-

No, her imagination was getting too far-fetched. But something transpired between them, and she knew she was missing out. Why wasn't Naruto yelling like she had been? Why wasn't he trying to fight Sasuke? There was no way he knew that Sasuke had been fighting on their side; no one knew yet except Orochimaru.

She was drawn from her thoughts as another wave of smaller, quicker snakes approached her.

She threw an array kunai into them, effectively pinning a vast majority to the ground, and turning to do the same to some more. But even with all of the dead snakes around her, it seemed like more just kept coming. Orochimaru had a steady flow of them erupting from his arms and beneath his clothing. There was no real way to get near him without battling through thousands of snakes. She watched as Naruto sliced through them with his sharpened Kyuubi enhanced claws, Sasuke doing the same with his sword.

They needed to stop the flow, and get Orochimaru back into his regular form sans snakes.

She infused her hand with chakra and slapped the ground, manipulating the disturbed rock into creating a sort of cocoon around Orochimaru. He couldn't keep spouting snakes if there was no where for them to go. With another grimace, Sakura encased the rock in a shield of her chakra, a precaution so the snakes wouldn't just shatter the stone.

Naruto's clones crushed the remainder of the snakes outside of the encasement and they all stood, Sakura concentrating on holding the chakra barrier as she felt something trying to force past it.

She looked at her best friend briefly, noting that he was charging Rasengan, and she nodded, knowing what he wanted her to do. Drop the barrier when he was ready. She was a little on edge when she heard Sasuke charge his Chidori, nodding at her once as well.

"Okay." She whispered to herself, feeling a slight strain on her chakra stores while sustaining the barrier.

She dropped it, and watched in amazement as their two attacks hit what was enclosed in the cocoon. She felt her stores replenish as she abandoned the shield, taking a quick moment to heal the wound Sasuke's sword had made before it got damaged further.

Naruto and Sasuke both jumped away immediately after they landed their attacks, landing next to her. She almost smiled; Team 7 reunited and fighting together again. Despite the circumstances, she felt herself getting a little bit nostalgic, and she scoffed, trying to hide the small laugh.

Sakura dropped to the ground as a sword flew at her, coming from the build up of dust that Sasuke and Naruto's attacks caused. Of course it hadn't killed Orochimaru, that was too much to hope for. The guy had killed the Third Hokage, it was going to take a lot to kill them. But they'd all grown stronger. Together, they could beat him, she knew they could.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, sensing Orochimaru's chakra through the dust and lunging forward, kusanagi in hand.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, cursing the guy as he ran into the dust. He couldn't see - was he expecting to swing his sword around in there and hopefully hit something?

Sasuke was caught off guard when Orochimaru's chakra signal suddenly moved, appearing behind him with his own sword in hand . As Orochimaru brought the blade down, Sasuke activated Susanoo.

Sakura and Naruto stared at the hulking skeleton in surprise. They'd heard of Susanoo before, but never witnessed it themselves. The skeleton swung out, smashing the ground in front of him where Orochimaru had previously stood.

Orochimaru appeared behind him again, driving his sword through the transparent purple barrier around Sasuke. What happened then shocked the two once more. Orochimaru's sword snapped in two the second it came into contact with the barrier. Orochimaru looked stunned as well, and Sasuke managed to land a punch on the Sannin.

Naruto ran forward then, two of his clones at his side as they charged up another Rasengan, leaping to where Orochimaru's body was flung and impacting before he was even able to hit the ground. That was sure to leave a mark. As strong as Orochimaru was he couldn't just keep absorbing their attacks like it was nothing.

There was another dust cloud, and as Sakura was preparing for Orochimaru to get up again, she was startled when the dust had time to settle and there was still no movement.

She crept forward. She was the medic, if anyone was going to know the bastard was dead, it would be her.

"Sakura." She heard Sasuke say in a warning tone.

"Shut up." She muttered, waving a frustrated hand at him and continuing to move closer.

Naruto was at her side, a kunai drawn and ready to defend the both of them. "Be careful." He said quietly, his eyes assessing the crater that was holding Orochimaru's body.

Sakura cautiously dropped down, her own kunai now ready, and moved towards his motionless body. She crouched at his side, pressing two fingers against his neck and, putting the kunai in her mouth, another two at his wrist. She waited, and there was nothing. No pulse, no heartbeat. There was no mistaking that Orochimaru was dead.

She smiled and stood up, wiping a hand across her forehead. "He's de-"

Her brief moment of victory was ended as something threw her into the with a force that knocked the wind out of her. She cursed, realizing that she didn't have enough time to right herself before she was going to make contact with the roof. But instead of smashing into the wood, she landed in someone's arms. With a quick nod, Sasuke made sure that she was okay before setting her on the ground and moved to stand in front of her.

She narrowed her eyes at Sasuke. She was a big girl. She could take the hit, and she didn't need him to act as her shield again!

All angry thoughts towards him were forgotten as she saw the creature standing where Orochimaru's body had been.

It was.. well, it was a white eight-headed snake. There was no better way to describe it. No, Sakura decided that it wasn't really a snake. It looked more like an eight-headed dragon, with hide as thick and impenetrable as metal and claws that were razor sharp. Sakura vaguely remembered reading about something on a white snake. Something about renewing and rebirth. If that was the case, if that was right, then Orochimaru hadn't been dead at all.

But he'd had no pulse, how the hell was that even possible.

"Whether I live or die, Konoha will be destroyed." She heard Orochimaru's voice echo. "Madara will stop at nothing until he crushes the Leaf village beneath his feet."

Each of the heads began to lunge towards Sasuke, so Sakura jumped away, running in a wide arc around the creature to try and get behind it. But there were eight heads, and so sixteen sets of eyes to watch its surrounding area with. She jumped, dodging the snap of a jaw, and then slid across the ground, avoiding another hungry mouth.

Naruto jumped down from above her, slicing his claws just beneath the head of one that was aiming to strike at her and decapitating it. The blood spattered across the two of them, and Sakura hissed as it started to burn her skin.

Sasuke was holding six of them off, flipping around them like it was nothing. She still couldn't deny that Sasuke was skilled, but she wanted to attribute most of his talent to his Sharingan. He could sense where the heads were going, and it made it easier for him to avoid them. But she knew Sasuke was extremely talented even without his bloodline trait activated.

"Uhm, Sakura?" She drew her attention away from Sasuke and followed Naruto's eyes. The snake head that he had just dismembered was twitching, the bloody end of it morphing into two little buds.

"Shit." Sakura cursed as two new heads sprouted.

Her and Naruto started to move again, running around it, dodging snapping jaws and sharp teeth. So no more cutting off its heads. So then what were they supposed to do? Just keep jumping away from it until the thing disappeared?

One of the heads caught her off guard, knocking her to the side and slamming her against the hard shingles of the roof. She heard two strong voices call her name, and she scrambled to stand, whipping a kunai at the oncoming snake head. Her aim was spot on, and it traveled deep into the snake's eye.

The head reeled back, and let out a screech. But even as she observed it, the brilliant white of its skin was being eaten away by an opaque black fire, and Sakura knew exactly what it was.

"Amaterasu." She whispered to herself, looking to where Sasuke was kneeling, one hand over his left eye. Naruto was at her side, his eyes wide and frantic. His hair was mussed and there was dirt on his face, but he looked relatively unharmed. "I'm fine." She whispered, her breathing a little ragged.

Naruto looked up, watching as the great beast tried to battle against the flames. But he knew what they were. The inextinguishable flames that would burn for seven days and seven nights, unable to be put out by water. He moved slightly in front of Sakura as the snake beast started to flail around, trying desperately to get rid of the black flames that were now coating its body.

So that was Sasuke's doing.

Naruto pulled Sakura along behind him, careful to avoid any dying heads, until they were at Sasuke's side. His eyes were closed, like he was concentrating, but his hand was still covering the left side of his face.

"Sakura?" Sasuke asked without looking at them.

"I'm _fine_," she stressed, knowing what he was asking.

His eyes opened then, and she gasped at his eye. There was a trail of blood leaking out like a tear. "Your eye!" She whispered, shocked.

"Your arm." He pointed out, standing up and stretching her forearm out. Naruto sucked in a breath and let out a low whistle. The skin from just below her elbow to her shoulder was shredded, blood bubbling and dropping to the ground. It must have been from the roof.

"My arm doesn't matter." She turned her attention to the beast that had more or less turned to nothing. "Is it dead?"

Sasuke released her arm and nodded. "Yes."

"Is Orochimaru dead as well then?" Naruto inquired.

"Yes."

Sakura let out a breath and summoned some chakra to her hand, healing the nasty sting in her arm and trying her best to get rid of the burning that the beast's blood had left behind. After her arm was more or less mended, she turned to Naruto, taking away the blood from the head as well.

Before she turned to see that Sasuke was okay, she needed to make sure that he wasn't their enemy. Even though he killed Orochimaru, she still just wasn't sure.

She looked at the both of them, narrowing her eyes. "Now what the hell is going on?"

**xx**

_"And nothing in love is free,  
>So if it's not worth fighting for,<br>It's worth nothing at all."_

_-White Town_

**xx**_  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>Another chapter!<br>So, I spent my entire day off watching Kaichou wa Maid-sama, and if you haven't already seen it, I would totally recommend it! It's freaking adorable, and funny at the same time :D Just thought I'd share that with you!  
>I get really nervous when I write battle scenes, so I would especially love feedback in your reviews about those. And I'm also sorry that the beginning is so dumb. It's just dumb. I know it is, and maybe later I'll go back and revise it. Well, I'm disappointed, so what about you?<em>**

_So, Orochimaru is dead? Maybe? Does he ever really die?  
>and SQUEE. Sasuke's all trying to be cute. 'If you don't want me here then I have nothing else to live for.'<br>Kyoot._

_Sincerely,  
>Your Faithful Reviewer<em>


	24. Together

_**Well, I'm glad that you all enjoyed the last chapter, even though I thought it was poopie. But, I am my biggest critic!**_

_**-EM**_

* * *

><p><em>"Love is the voice under all silences,<br>the hope which has no opposite in fear;  
>the strength so strong mere force is feebleness:<br>the truth more first than sun,  
>more last than star."<em>

_-E.E Cummings_

**My Darkness: Chapter XXIV**

**Together  
><strong>

**xx**

With a deep breath, Sakura closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down. Sasuke was on their side. Had always been on their side and no one thought it would be a good idea to _tell her_?

When she looked back at the two of them, it was through a heavy glare. She brushed off her hands, walked over to Sasuke, and stood in front of him, not exactly sure what she was going to do. She was mad, for him specifically asking Naruto not to tell her, frustrated that he didn't tell her the moment they were alone, relieved that he was fighting with them against Madara's forces, and confused at what the hell she was going to do now.

So she punched him.

It wasn't chakra infused, but it felt good nonetheless.

Naruto was the one who let out a startled noise of protest, Sasuke just took it, his eyes melting into hers. With a quick exhalation of breath, she hit him again, realizing that her frustration and anger were the dominant at that moment.

When she tried to hit him a third time, he caught he wrist mid swing and rose an eyebrow. "Are you finished?"

She closed her eyes, sagging forward against his chest."You two are complete idiots." She whispered, using the hand Sasuke didn't have to clutch at his shirt.

She'd spent the last week reminding herself of all the reasons she should hate Sasuke; why he didn't deserve her, why she didn't deserve to be abandoned twice. But all of that reasoning, all of that determination to make Sasuke feel like she'd felt, the hours she had spent crying over the fact that he left her again, it had all been a grand lie orchestrated by the man she found herself loving despite everything.

Sakura lifted her head, meeting Sasuke's eyes and shaking her head in confusion. "Why did you do that to me?"

His eyes looked pained, and he dropped her hand, pressing his palm to her cheek instead. "The hurt you felt when you thought I betrayed you, that could easily be overcome with hate." He whispered. "But the hurt you might feel if I was to die in this attempt to protect Konoha, that can't be overwhelmed by anything."

So he lied to her, got her best friend to lie to her, all because he was trying to protect her from greater pain? What kind of genius was he?

She scoffed. "Your reasoning is ridiculous." Sakura whispered banging her hand softly against his chest. There was still a war to be fought; enemies to be pushed out of their village. And they would all do it together.

But Sasuke froze, pushing himself away from Sakura and turning around to face the black flames that were still burning. "He's here."

"Who's here?" Naruto asked, stepping up beside his friend.

Sasuke's eyes were continually scanning the area in front of them, his fist clenched at his side. "Madara."

He appeared then, grimacing at the black flames. After a quick motion with his hands, they disappeared. Sakura and Naruto were staring wide-eyed, but Sasuke remained impassive, though his glare stuck.

When Madara vanished again, Sasuke went on full alert, not sure where the bastard was going to re-appear. A startled yelp made the two shinobi whirl around to check on Sakura.

But she was gone.

"Over here!" Madara called in a deceptively sing-song voice. "Much too slow."

Sakura cursed herself for getting stuck in this position. Always being used as leverage against Sasuke, and she could never get herself out of it. She may have proven her skills to him, but what did they matter if she was just going to get herself captured.

Sasuke stared with narrowed eyes at the man in front of him. The man that claimed to be the founder of the Uchiha Clan; Madara Uchiha.

"You will never know true power, if you keep holding on to your past." He said casually, like he wasn't holding someone hostage. "Either you kill her now, and gain the power you've been searching for, or I will do it for you."

The reason he had been searching for that power was to finally avenge his clan and kill his brother. But Itachi was dead, and hadn't been the man he thought he was. The man that Sasuke chased was someone who slaughtered their entire clan, and even his mother and father. He was a missing ninja; a member of Akatsuki. He was detestable. That was the man he'd been after.

But Itachi hadn't been any of those things. He murdered his clan in an attempt to avoid a civil war. He had chosen the lesser of two evils, and became a hero that Sasuke could only dream of living up to. For once in his life, he was at peace with staying in his brothers shadow. All of his ideals had changed, and he'd realized that he didn't need to destroy himself or Konoha in order to set things right. He needed to uphold his brothers honor, and that began with protecting those he cared about.

He cared about Sakura.

And so Madara was going to have to die.

But he wasn't an idiot. The second he moved to save her, Madara would kill her; slit her neck or worse. He had to stall, give himself more time to think, or give Sakura a chance to get out of there.

"Time is running out." He taunted, pressing a kunai deeper into Sakura's neck. Sasuke watched in horror as blood ran down her neck and chest. There was just so much of it. "Make your choice."

His eyes locked on Sakura's, and she gave a slight, almost invisible nod, followed by a mouthed 'I'll be okay'. Gripping his katana tightly in his left hand, he walked towards them, poising his sword at Sakura's chest. He didn't even like holding this position, the slightest movement, and he could kill her.

Then, in a horrible twist of events, Madara shoved Sakura forward, onto the blade of his sword.

"Sakura!" Naruto shouted from behind him.

For a minute, Sasuke felt like he was going to throw up. Had she just let that happen? Was Sakura really that much of a martyr? His heart clenched in his chest, only to be lightened again when her body erupted in a puff of smoke. He let out a small breath, returning his focus to the other Uchiha. Without blinking, he charged his sword with his chidori and lunged at Madara, who despite appearing a little bit surprised, parried his blow and sent Sasuke flying backwards.

When he landed, he caught sight of Madara rushing towards him and quickly threw his hands up to block a specifically aimed punch right to his chest. Had that connected, it very well might have broken a rib or two. He dropped to the ground then, sensing Sakura incoming from behind, and smirked as she landed a chakra enforced kick to Madara's chest, sending him staggering backwards.

Even with her supernatural strength, it wasn't enough to really hurt Madara, which kind of scared her. She let her gaze meet Sasuke's for a brief moment before returning to the battle. They were all exhausted from fighting Orochimaru and his weird snake monster thing, and were now trying to find their inner strength to kick Madara's ass.

That bastard just popped out of no where. But Sakura felt like Sasuke had known Madara would be showing up. He knew something else was going to come after them. She still wasn't done being angry at him. How did he expect her to trust him if he was just going to keep hiding things like that from her? If he had told her that he was going to be turning against Madara and Orochimaru she would have helped him, or at least given Tsunade some kind of heads up.

Now, if they survived this, Sasuke was going to have to start all over again. Nobody just attacks their village and expects to be welcomed back for a second time with open arms and smiling faces.

She was startled back to reality when a wall of fire approached her. She encased her body in her chakra, created the same sort of cocoon that had kept Orochimaru's snakes bound inside. It would protect her from the immediate heat. Madara approached shortly after the wall had passed over her and sent her flying backwards, forcing her to focus chakra to her feet so she would get knocked off of the roof.

Sakura was barely able to react to the attacks and blocked to punches before a kick sent her into the air. She flipped around and was about to do a few hand signs when Madara came shooting up out of the smoke, only to be knocked to the side by Naruto.

Coming to her rescue as usual.

Once the two had landed, Sasuke was quick to send a tunnel of flames towards his enemy, making sure to avoid Naruto, manipulating it to swirl around him and create a fiery prison. He looked to Sakura, who was just slamming her fists into the hard surface of the roof, creating enough rubble for her to kick into the fiery cage and hopefully impale Madara..

Sasuke slowly let his fire fade, saving some of his chakra. There was no movement for some time, and for a brief minute, Sasuke thought that they might have actually hurt Madara enough to leave him immobile. But as the dust cleared and the flames went out, Sasuke knew how foolish that had been.

Madara was an ancient ninja and had acquired more power than Sasuke had once dreamed of. Attacks like theirs, despite how powerful they may be against other opponents, wouldn't affect Madara in the ways they wanted.

"This is child's play!" He yelled, raising his hands to the sky. "I'm disappointed." The sky started to swirl, and Sakura could only imagine what kind of hell Madara was bringing into play now. He was strong, and the three of them were getting too low on chakra to keep fighting him on such a fast-paced level.

"Naruto!" Sasuke shouted.

"Right!"

Naruto created two of his clones and started charging his Wind Release Rasengan, slipping past Madara, who was focused on the twirling clouds above him, and letting he and his clones create the ball of chakra. Meanwhile, in front of the Uchiha, Sasuke was charging his Chidori in his left hand, and giving Sakura's shuriken his flames with his right.

If they all attacked at the same time, maybe... just maybe...

Sasuke ran ahead first, hoping to distract Madara enough so he wouldn't notice Naruto behind him or Sakura as they waited for his signal. Madara's eyes landed on the younger Uchiha fast approaching him, his Chidori crackling delightfully in his hand.

He almost laughed. Did the brat think he was going to injure him with his little ball of lightning?

"Now!" Sasuke yelled, disappearing from in front of Madara and reappearing at his side, hitting him with his Chidori as Naruto did with his Rasengan, Sakura's blazing shuriken adding the last final force that was sure to end Madara's life.

Sasuke and Naruto jumped away, landing close to Sakura, shielding their eyes as the ground where Madara stood shattered, sending the pieces flying. In an instinctive gesture, Sasuke held Sakura to his chest, protecting her from incoming debris. Sakura couldn't help but smile at his actions, clutching his shirt and holding herself against him.

When the projectiles stopped flying at them, and the area was covered in more dust, Sakura let out a breath, praying that their combined attack had been enough to kill Madara. If it didn't... she didn't know what else to do. They couldn't use any of their massive attacks with the area surrounding them. The civilians may have been evacuated into the mountains, but they didn't want to damage Konoha more than it already was.

Sakura immediately looked to Naruto, making sure that he was holding up okay. He was filthy, a little bit injured from their earlier battle, but so far Madara hadn't caused him any serious damage. His eyes were trained on the crater that they'd left in the roof, waiting for some sign of movement.

Tch.

So much for not destroying the village.

Sasuke turned to stare at the crater as well, his arms still around Sakura. He could sense all of their chakra levels, dangerously low, bordering on empty. If Madara got up from this...

None of them moved, none of them breathed, all waiting for Madara to appear like their attack had been nothing more than a weak punch to him. Time slowed, hearts raced, waiting for the dust to clear out so they could see the aftermath of their attack.

Sakura's heart dropped as she saw Madara's outline in the dust, slowly but surely moving himself into a standing position. He staggered forward, one step, then another, and another.

Sasuke turned to Sakura, his eyes determined and somewhat worried. "You have to go." He whispered, sparing a brief glance back at Madara. "You and Naruto."

She shook her head; defiant as always. "I'm not going anywhere." She whispered in return, keeping an eye on Madara as he stood up again.

He took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him as he spoke. "This isn't your battle anymore."

"I'm staying." She said, as if to accentuate her point.

Sasuke shook his head, "I won't be able to focus if I'm worried about you."

"You don't have to worry about me." She whispered defiantly.

He released her chin, letting his hand run down the length of her arm. "Naruto." He barked, catching his attention. "Take Sakura away from here."

She narrowed her eyes at him and tried to pull herself from his grip. "Sasuke!" She hissed. "I'm not going to leave you!"

His eyes softened as he looked down at her and pressed his lips against hers in a rough and satisfying kiss. But it was too short, and he was gone from her arms too soon. Sakura stared after him, her face covered in disbelief as he went to Naruto, both of their eyes watching Madara.

"Get yourselves out of here." He instructed, his eyes watchful, probably calculating his next plan of attack. "Find Tsunade. Let her know what's happened."

"Sakura!" Naruto shouted. "Go find Tsunade!"

Her eyes widened at the fact that her best friend was trying to force her away as well. She wasn't a weakling! Had she not proven that to them countless times? She could help them in this fight! They needed her help. They needed all the help they could get!

"If you either of you die, I'll never forgive you!" She shouted, finally giving in and backing away from them. "I'm serious!" Naruto sent her a smile, and Sasuke only gave her a look that he hoped encompassed the words that he would never say.

"Oh no." Came Madara's voice, his body now upright and looking fine. "You aren't going anywhere."

Sasuke moved so quickly in that instant, he didn't even think that he'd given it a seconds thought. Madara was going after Sakura; a weak point for both he and Naruto. He never should have kissed her like that. He should have restrained himself.

Damnit!

His voice as he called out her name was strangled and didn't sound like himself. Sakura turned around, her face a mask of confusion as she caught sight of Sasuke's own pained expression.

She whirled towards Madara just in time, raising her arms to block the two spiny shafts of rock that shot towards her. The pointed edges pierced her forearms, but the pain was minimal compared to what it could have been. Sakura flipped onto the long slabs of earth and started running towards the Uchiha, chakra glowing around her hands in the form of two scalpels. If she could just get close enough to land them, she could incapacitate one of his arms, render some of his jutsus useless.

However, at Madara's power, she didn't think there were many of his jutsus that he even used hand signs for.

Sasuke cursed and started to run after her. She was supposed to be running the opposite way, not running right into his face!

Then Sasuke panicked. Running right into his face; his eyes.

"Sakura! Close your eyes!" He shouted.

Madara smirked. "You're already dead." He whispered, "Tsukuyo-"

An inky black bird swooped in between Madara and Sakura, effectively ruining the eye contact and making Madara jump away in anger and surprise.

Sasuke let out a relieved breath, moving between the other Uchiha and Sakura.

"Sai!" Naruto called, grateful that their other teammate had found them. Madara was a skilled opponent, and even with three on one, they were barely able to scratch him. Sai's help would be greatly appreciated.

He dropped down from the bird, landing next to Naruto and giving him a nod, then a wary look at Sasuke. "Friend or foe?"

Naruto grinned. "Friend."

"Got it." He murmured, his hand already drawing furiously on his scroll. Five lions sprouted from the paper and started dashing towards Madara. They were ink, and Naruto knew that they could be removed with a single hit, but they would do some damage if they got to him.

Sai, with a continuous watch on Madara, continued to draw. Bats erupted from his scroll, flying around Madara's face in an attempt to distract him from the oncoming lions, then snakes, that slithered along the ground and reminded Naruto disgustingly of Orochimaru. They went in a wider radius, sneaking past the lions and moving together to wrap around Madara.

Sasuke watched in fascination. He might not like the guy, but he had to admit that those creations were impressive. Probably not a match for Madara, but impressive nonetheless.

"Sakura, are you okay?" He asked, casting her a sidelong glance.

"Stop worrying about me, Sasuke, I'm fine." She hissed.

"Then get the message to Tsunade."

With a frustrated growl, Sakura jumped over to Sai as Naruto started to engage Madara, completely rid of Sai's ink creations though covered in the black liquid. "Do you think you could get a message to the Hokage?" She asked, gesturing to his scroll.

"Yes."

"Let her know that Madara is here, and we're stalling him as long as we can."

Sai started to draw, the bird flying from his scroll in less than ten seconds. "Done."

"Sai! Sakura!" Naruto shouted as a fireball approached the two of them. They both jumped away, easily avoiding the projectile, and the minute Sai landed, he was painting again.

Sakura landed a few yards away from where the three boys were fighting Madara. She was dangerously low on chakra, and sensing Naruto and Sasuke's levels, she knew they had to end this quickly. But Madara was too powerful, ending it quickly wasn't going to happen.

She summoned chakra to her hand and smacked the ground, creating a thick crack in the ground that made Madara stumble enough for Naruto to land a kick to his chest.

Madara narrowed his eyes as he focused to dodge their attacks. He was surprised at the speed they all had despite still being relatively young. They landed kicks and punches that he knew he should have been able to phase through. But he'd been too distracted by dodging the other attacks that there was really no room to go on the offensive.

He would have to change that.

He wasn't going to be able to fight four people at once, not when they were all hammering him at the same time. He summoned Susanoo, smirking as his Guardian smacked away Sasuke and the blonde.

Immediately, Madara found it to his advantage to go on the offensive. He summoned wood from the ground, winding it around the blonde jinchuuriki that was being quite a nuisance. He forced his fire along the wood, encasing him but frowning as he smashed through the chakra infused wood.

Even with the strain of Susanoo on his body, he wasn't finding it to be any more difficult. These shinobi were skilled for their age, Sasuke especially, but he wasn't at the point of surpassing himself yet. Madara would always be more powerful, and Sasuke was a fool to turn against him.

He used his wood release again, chasing after Sasuke as he flipped through the spiny shafts, dodging and slowly advancing closer. Susanoo reached out, grabbing Sasuke and bringing him face to face with Madara.

"You fool." Madara hissed, a smirk on his face. "Why are you defending the village that tore your family apart? The village that turned your brother into a criminal?"

Sasuke's face remained emotionless though a glare was still very present. "You used me. Used the information about Itachi to control my anger and unleash it on Konoha. Not anymore."

Sasuke summoned his own Susanoo, grimacing as he felt how low his body was on chakra. Bringing Susanoo was only wearing down on his near empty supply.

He watched as Sai's ink creations; two very large men thickly corded with muscle, grabbed Madara's Susanoo's arms, pulling them behind him and swinging the ghostly creature across the roof. Sasuke dropped Susanoo, grateful to Sai for once as he dropped to one knee, panting at the exertion.

"Enough!" Madara's voice echoed through the skies, which were quickly becoming dark and cloudy, blocking out the light the moon was providing.

It made Sakura feel uneasy, and she did a quick check to make sure that all of her teammates were okay. They were scratched and bloody, no doubt bruised, but none of them were critical, which she took as a blessing.

She went to Sasuke's side, trying to help him stand and get away from where Madara was charging something. Sai started to draw, summoning more lions to try and distract Madara from amassing this attack, and Naruto had summoned his clones, sending them forward to attack him. But Madara had some kind of shield around him that disintegrated both Sai's drawings and Naruto's clones.

"Like I said, Sasuke. Either you kill her now or I will do it for you."

Sakura's heart stopped, and she looked at Sasuke.

But things from that point went far to quickly.

She was watching Sasuke's expression, his brows knitted together, his fists clenched at his side, the streak of blood still running from his left eye. But then Madara stopped charging his attack, and he vanished re-appearing right in front of the two of them, his hand holding a ball of chakra, just like the Rasengan. But this was black. This was opaque. This was going to be plunged right into her chest.

But the pain never came.

Sasuke's body got in the way. He stood between her and the attack, just like before. But this ball of chakra went right through him, Madara's hand protruding from Sasuke's back.

Sakura screamed.

Madara smirked.

Sasuke fell.

Naruto and Sai ambushed him then, but the elder Uchiha jumped away.

Sakura immediately forced what chakra she had left to her hands, desperately trying to heal the hole through his chest. She had to do _something._

"As if a medic ninja like her could delay your death a few seconds. Your techniques are worthless compared to those of Itachi Uchiha."

And then he vanished, leaving the four of them alone. Leaving Naruto in shock. Leaving Sai confused.

Leaving Sakura with Sasuke's broken body

**xx**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Okay! One more chapter to go readers! Gah, so sad, I know.<em>  
><strong>

_WHAT. SASUKE TOOK THE BLOW FOR HER AGAIN?  
>EFF YOU, MADARA. EFF YOU!<br>But Sakura can save him, can't she?  
>P.S Go Sai.<em>

_Sincerely,  
>Your Faithful Reviewer<em>


	25. Shades of Sunrise

**The final chapter! Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story until the end!**

**Reviews are better than chocolate. And chocolate is better than life. You make the connection and do what you feel you must (which, if you're confused, is review)**

**-EM**

* * *

><p><em>"The true measure of a shinobi is not how he lives but how he dies. <em>  
><em>It's not what they do in life, but what they did before dying that proves their worth..."<em>

_-Jiraiya_

**My Darkness: Chapter XXV**

**Shades of Sunrise  
><strong>

**xx**

_I tried so hard_  
><em>And got so far<em>  
><em>But in the end<em>  
><em>It doesn't even matter<em>_  
><em>

**xx**

If you had one more hour to spend with the person you loved, what would you do with it? What would you say? If you knew that all too soon a part of you was going to be torn away; ripped mercilessly from your heart and soul, what could you do to prepare yourself for such heartbreak?

"Sasuke..." It took a couple of seconds for her to think past the way he was paling before her eyes. Dying before her eyes. She smoothed away the tears, tried to wipe away the blood with trembling fingers. She leaned over him, hands glowing, feeling the damage with a sense of increasing helplessness that she didn't want because the odds didn't matter, not this time.

"Sakura. Stop." His heart shuddered beneath her hand; his insides were like jelly, broken and bleeding. "It's no use. Heal yourself. Heal Naruto."

He remembered what he'd thought of Naruto before; how much of a fool he thought he was because of his priorities in a battle. But now he knew how it felt; the overwhelming need to protect someone he cared about.

_"When you love someone... you finally realize that there is something worse than dying... and that's having something happen to her."_

He remembered Naruto's words, and he found them all too true at that moment. If someone he loved was in danger he would do anything to protect them. He would give his life to save them.

Sasuke tried to focus on her eyes, a beacon of emerald in an otherwise black and white picture. Her eyes were wide and shocked and scared. Emotions that he saw flicker over the faces of his enemies all to often before he killed them. But on Sakura they were caring. They were eyes that were scared for him. Eyes that cared about him. He was glad; after all, if no one cared about you, did you really exist?

"Sasuke." She whispered again, shaking her head over and over in disbelief. "Please don't-" Her voice was choked off by a sob and he realized that she was crying for him. Sakura was crying for _him_. It didn't seem real.

He convulsed, a great shudder running through him, and his heart skipped a beat. His eyes were closed and Sakura knew that he was just barely conscious. With another great heave that had her feeling lightheaded and her arms feeling weak, she sent in another burst of chakra.

"I love you." She whispered, "I love you and I will never forgive you if you leave me now. Never. I will be mad at you until the day I die."

Rain. Oh how ironic that it was raining.

It dripped, and made Sakura's hair cling to her face, made her clothes stick to her body. It washed away the blood, it trickled along the roof and pulled all of the lies away, leaving the unmistakable.

Sasuke was going to die.

Sakura caught his eyes, staring at him completely defeated. Sasuke stared right back, his dark orbs flickering faintly as a small smirk tugged at his lips.

"No," she whispered. She'd done everything she could, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. "You can't die."

He looked at the dark sky looming above them, feeling only the rain on his face and the emotions that flooded through his chest, numbing the pain and leaving him with one thing. It was a feeling that he often felt with her... the feeling of being... human.

She was the one thing that had been right in his life; the one thing that hadn't been spoiled by politics or war. She was perfect. And now he had to leave her behind. The only thing that filled him now was the overwhelming sadness that leaving her would bring.

"Sakura..." He whispered, reaching a weak hand to her cheek, grimacing as his fingers left a smear of blood behind on her skin. Her own fingers found his, snagging them in a tight grip and holding them to her face.

She'd been healing him as much as she could... but Madara's attack had seared right through his body. There was nothing more she could do alone, and there was no one in sight.

"Please don't go." She murmured against his hand, pressing her lips to his palm. "Please stay."

It pained him to know that there was a very slim chance he'd be able to do what she wanted. He may have taken Orochimaru down, but Madara had done a number on him. "I can't."

"Yes you can." She blubbered, her eyes filling with tears and streaming down her cheeks. Sakura clutched his hand tighter, shaking her head as if the possibility of him leaving was unbearable.

"It's okay." He whispered, resting his hand on her neck. "It's okay." She shook her head some more; defiantly. How the hell was it going to be okay?

When his grip loosened, Sakura panicked, calling for Naruto and pressing her hands to Sasuke's chest in an effort to get him to come back. "Sasuke!"

"I'm here." He croaked, eyes barely staying open.

"Come on!" Sakura shouted, her hands glowing a soft green as she forced chakra through his body. "You are _not_ going to leave me."

Naruto stood behind his best friend, watching Sakura give her best effort to revive him. But he could feel it; Sasuke was fading "Sakura..." Naruto began, resting a hand on her shoulder and trying to blink away the tears that he felt assaulting his eyes.

"Shut up!" She yelled, shaking his hand off and turning her attention back to the man before her. The man she loved. She loved him, dammit! Against all of her morals she loved him! He couldn't die on her! Not like this!

As she continued to pour more of her chakra into his body, her tears increased, her body shaking with tremors as she tried to focus through the pain. It couldn't end like this. Sasuke was better than that.

"No!" She yelled, determination pushing through her sobs. Though even as she spoke, her chakra was depleting to the point where she could no longer use it.

His lips were so white now, the color of death, the color that was making her head swim with the idea of Sasuke actually being dead. Dead because he protected her again.

_Come away from him. _That was what Naruto was asking. But she couldn't. She wouldn't. "Sasuke," she whispered. "Sasuke_ Uchiha_..."

She froze. There. A movement so tiny it was hardly a movement at all. The flutter of an eyelash. She leaned forward and pressed her hand against the torn scarlet material over his chest, as if she could pour more chakra into him, though she knew her stores were beyond empty. But she felt it instead, it was beautiful and it was perfect. It was so wonderful that for a moment she didn't think it was real. Underneath her palm... the rhythm of his heart.

"Naruto," She whispered. "Naruto! Sai!" She said a bit louder, her body sagging slightly from exhaustion. "He's-" The tears started all over again. Ones of relief and joy and happiness. She was exhausted, numb, the world was blurry, her head was pounding in time to her pulse and Sasuke looked to be unconscious but he was alive! "Oh, God, he's alive."

Sakura pressed her forehead against his and let out a breath, unbelievably relieved that she hadn't just lost the only man she'd found herself able to love. Losing him once had been terrible, losing him for a second time had been gut wrenching, almost losing him for a third time would have done something unimaginable to her mind. Nothing would make sense anymore... after finding out that he had been on their side only to have him die in her arms, it wasn't something she even wanted to think about enduring.

"Sasuke." She whispered, her breath fanning out across his cheeks. His alive cheeks. The cheeks that held color, not the ominous threat of death. "Wake up." Sakura murmured, feeling like she was cooing to a child.

And he did. After a small grimace and painful blink, he realized where he was, who was hovering over him and what had just happened. He looked at Sakura with those eyes full of something that burned truer than anything she'd ever seen before. "Sakura."

Sakura nodded and smiled, running her hands over his cheeks. "Hi." She blubbered, tears still streaming down her face. When all else had fallen, her love still stood. And that love had been enough to push through her exhaustion; enough to save his life.

She kissed him then, without any regard for Naruto and Sai. She was too thankful that Sasuke was breathing, that he was alive and Madara had disappeared for the time being. He felt his soft fingers at the back of her neck and she smiled, still not believing that this was real.

"Madara." He said in a hoarse voice, looking around the roof, searching for the other Uchiha. "Was he killed?"

Sakura shook her head, taking a moment to try and wipe the tears away. "No, he disappeared."

Sasuke tried to sit up, but Sakura put a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Not yet, just take a minute to rest."

"Madara isn't resting."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you going to do, Sasuke? Chase after him?"

"Yes."

"You almost _died._" She hissed. "Do you understand that?"

He sat up, this time grabbing her hand and pinning it to her side. It was amazing that he was even able to move, and he already wanted to chase after Madara. "If I don't find him, he'll just attack again."

"Sasuke, you can't." She whispered, shocked that he was even thinking about chasing after the man that nearly killed him. Then again, Sasuke had been low on chakra and was only hit because he was protecting her.

"He tried to kill you, Sakura. And my guess is he won't stop until he has. He's trying to hurt me, and I don't want him to succeed." He murmured in a voice so quiet she was sure no one else could hear. "I can't lose you." He released her hand and stood up, shaky on his feet, but standing.

Sakura stood up beside him, one hand on his arm just to make sure he wouldn't topple over. She couldn't imagine how weak he was feeling, and yet he was ready to start chasing after him.

"You won't stay, to heal before you go after him?" She whispered, holding more tightly to his arm.

He shook his head. "I can't stay in Konoha, Sakura."

She wanted to punch him again. He may have saved her life, but she'd just saved his, so that meant they were even. She could hit him, right?

"What?" Sakura said in a voice so small and weak that she wanted to smack herself. She knew that was possible. He'd betrayed them enough times... why would he be allowed to stay in the village again? But hearing him say it out loud made things more real. It made her realize that they really couldn't have a good solid future together.

What was the likelihood of him being allowed to live in the village again?

"What?" Came Naruto's louder, angry voice.

Sasuke's eyes landed on him. "I have to leave."

"Konoha is your home! Your family is here!" Naruto argued, taking a frustrated step forward.

"I have no family! Or have you forgotten that?"

"Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are!"

Sasuke shook his head and ran a hand over his face. "Nothing you say is going to change my mind. I have to go after Madara. I have to protect the people left in my life."

"You'd be doing an excellent job protecting them here."

"Do you really think that the Council is just going to let me walk free after what I've done?"

Naruto saw the way Sakura was standing. She felt defeated and exhausted, yes, but hearing that Sasuke was just going to leave again made her feel like she had no fight left. That she wasn't worth anything if he found it so easy to leave her behind over and over again.

"If you tell them that you fought to defeat Orochimaru. That you tried to stop Madara from killing any more people, they would be more lenient."

"No." Sasuke said, his tone very final. "I have to go."

She dropped her hands to her side and nodded, barely even feeling the rain as it pounded down on them.

"If you go now, without anyone knowing what you've done to help," Sai began, "they'll send people after you."

Naruto nodded eagerly. Sasuke had to stay.

"I'll avoid them."

"And what if you can't?" He added, trying to be realistic. Sasuke would be making a big mistake if he left the village without letting people know of his assistance. At the very least, he had to let the Hokage know. "You're so focused on finding Madara, would you kill the shinobi sent to bring you back? They'll be in your way, holding you back."

Sasuke's hand was clenched in a fist and he looked weary on his feet, but he never responded.

"One night. To rest." Sakura whispered, finally meeting his eyes. "Please, Sasuke."

She was the most difficult person to deny. Sasuke took a step toward her and took her hand, blocking Naruto and Sai from view with his body. "I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"Sakur-"

"I'll let you go, Sasuke. If you ease my mind. One night, so I know that you're really okay and I won't try to stop you."

He let out a breath and squeezed her hand. "One night." He whispered.

She nodded, but she didn't smile.

"You can't tell anyone." He said, turning back to the other two. Naruto glared at him, and while Sai looked impassive Sasuke knew that he didn't agree with his decision. Maybe it was because he cared about Naruto and Sakura, and he knew that Sasuke leaving would make them sad.

He felt it then. What couldn't be mistaken as the Hokage's chakra, and a few other shinobi following closely behind her. And they were headed right towards them. He was surprised that the message had taken so long to reach her, or that the Hokage had taken so long to respond. But she had, and now he had to disappear.

"No one." He reiterated, narrowing his eyes at Naruto and Sai.

The blonde nodded at his friend, giving him the most somber thumbs up he'd ever seen. Neither Naruto nor Sakura were happy with him, that much he knew, but they were willing to let him do this. Because they were his friends.

"I have to go." He whispered, feeling their chakras getting closer. He wouldn't be able to fight them off in his current condition, and there was no way in hell the council was going to let him live this time. It was was his third strike, and if he knew anything about the council it was that they weren't very forgiving once you'd crossed them. And he'd crossed them enough.

Sakura sighed, letting go of his hand and backing away, glancing at Naruto as he approached them. "Get out of here." Naruto muttered with a half grin. He didn't really want him to leave, but it was better than him being caught. Sasuke was better rogue, and at least he knew now that his friend wasn't an enemy.

One more night. If Sakura's apartment was still in tact, he would wait there for her.

Naruto slung his arm around Sakura's shoulders as their friend disappeared. Despite the emotions she knew she was bottling up inside, her outward expression wasn't showing much of anything. She might be able to fool other people, but she couldn't fool him. She was sad that he was leaving again, maybe more than sad. He knew they felt something for each other, but there were only so many trials that the two of them could overcome in order to be together. He wanted to believe that they could do it, but he just wasn't sure how much of Sasuke leaving Sakura could take.

But then, there was another part of him that felt like Sakura would wait for Sasuke until the end of time. There was no real way to just fall out of love.

"Let's go." Naruto said, tugging her towards the chakra signals of their allies, making sure that Sai was following them. It seemed that the brunt of the attack had been defeated; Madara had been the only remaining hazard to the village, and well, he disappeared. If Sasuke was who he claimed to be now, he wouldn't rest until Madara was dead. Then the people he cared about would be safe from him as far as Sasuke was concerned.

But how long would that take? How long would he leave Sakura waiting for him, wondering if he was alive.

"Sakura! Naruto! Sai!" He heard Tsunade call, fastly approaching the three of them, her guard hot on her tail. "Are you all okay?"

Sakura felt a little bruised, she knew her forearms were bloody and she had some minor cuts, but she hadn't sustained any major injuries, though that was greatly thanks to Sasuke. Naruto looked a little worse for wear, some gashes, a long burn mark stretching down his arm where his jacket was torn, but he hadn't been stabbed through the chest. And Sai looked a little tired, but he was relatively unharmed. She didn't know if she would have been able to handle it if Naruto had been injured as well, or even Sai.

"We're fine!" Sakura returned, smiling at her mentor as she stopped in front of them.

"Where did Madara go, and Sasuke?"

Sai spoke up then. "Madara and Sasuke Uchiha vanished from the battlefield.'

Naruto shook his head, feigning disbelief. "They just disappeared."

Sakura bit her lip and closed her eyes, feeling her hand clench into a fist at her side. If they'd been able to kill Madara, would Sasuke have stayed with them?

Tsunade furrowed her brows, and then brought the three of them in for a hug. Sakura was shocked, to say the least. Her mentor had been so hard on her lately, she was beginning to question if the woman even cared for her at all anymore. "I really thought you could change him, Sakura." Tsunade murmured into her hair.

Sakura's heart lurched in her chest and she blinked back tears. "What?"

The Hokage pulled away from them and rested her hand on Sakura's head. "I thought you could change him for the better."

But she did, Sakura wanted to tell her. Sasuke was on their side for crying out loud, at least for the time being! But would that be enough for them? Couldn't Sasuke fighting against the man said to be leading him be enough to let him come back to the village? She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing he was safe.

Tsunade sighed and surveyed the wreckage behind them. "Why don't you two go back to the hospital." She said to Sakura and Naruto. "Shizune is there trying to organize things. Sai, with me."

Sakura nodded, following after her best friend in mere seconds.

When they landed, Sakura was in tears and Naruto had his arms wrapped around her in seconds. "I know." He whispered.

She sobbed into his chest, finding the tears falling uncontrollably now. "Why is he such an idiot?" She yelled, the sound muffled by Naruto's sweater. Why couldn't she have fallen in love with a regular civilian; someone who would be safe working in a stall selling vegetables. Why the hell did she have to fall in love with Sasuke again? She'd known the risks, she'd told herself time and time again that it wasn't worth it; that he would just leave again.

But it had been worth it, and she knew it. Every minute she'd spent with him had been worth more than she could have ever imagined. And he hadn't left for the reasons she'd foreseen back then. He was fighting alongside them, if it had really been his intention to kill them and destroy Konoha he would have done just that. Nothing would have stopped him.

Sasuke had decided to defend the village. He'd decided to stand by his friends and protect them.

Her sobs weren't quiet like she wanted them to be. They were loud and obnoxious and made her nose run. One night. That's all she had left. One night.

Naruto tightened his grip around Sakura, feeling tears pricking his own eyes. He knew he wasn't going through the same pain as her, but he was losing one of his best friends again, and part of him felt a little heartbreak as well. But hell, he hadn't been in love with the guy. He hadn't spent as much time with him as Sakura had.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, the only thing he could really say.

**xx**

The minute she'd returned from the hospital, she'd curled up in her bed. On his side of the bed, wishing that his scent was still embedded in the linens. But it had been such a long time since he'd slept there; since she'd woken up in his arms and smiled at the morning light.

Now all she could do was stare out her window, thinking of how many times he slipped through that opening, and how many times she watched him leave through it. It was the entrance and exit that he favored, and it pained her to think she'd never see him casually leaning against the pane again. She would never be kissed as he hung half outside and half inside as her flowing curtains brushed against them.

It was still dark out, and Sakura couldn't help feeling like Sasuke wasn't going to show up. That he only agreed to one more night in order appease her, leaving her waiting while he started his chase.

She closed her eyes and felt a breeze pass over her skin, then a familiar presence in the room.

"You're here." She whispered, opening her eyes to meet his.

"I'm here." he murmured, taking a ginger step toward her.

This was it. When morning light came, he would leave. Start chasing after a powerful man that had almost killed him. Somehow, he'd managed to get into the Uchiha house he'd been staying in and grab new clothes. She remembered how bloody his last shirt had been, how shredded it was.

She shuddered, and Sasuke took another step forward, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"How does it feel?" Sakura whispered, sitting up and pressing her hand to the area on his chest that she'd healed.

Sasuke smiled briefly and took her hand. "You're an amazing healer."

Even with the compliment, Sakura didn't smile, didn't do anything. "How long do you think it will take to find him?"

"I don't know."

She nodded, absorbing the information. "I'll go with you."

"No." He said immediately, his hand tightening around hers.

But what was she going to do in Konoha? She would sit there, wondering if he was alive, praying that he was and never being completely able to move on. She had to go, or she would only torture herself with the knowledge she didn't possess.

"I know you think this won't work, but can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decision?" Sakura whispered, meeting his eyes. "I know the risks, but I want to face them with you."

"Sakura, please." He murmured, a desperate tone in his voice. "I want you by my side, but it's too dangerous."

"Have I still not proven my strength to you?"

"I know how strong you are, Sakura. I've seen it." He said, reassuring her. "But I'll worry about you anyways because I'm terrified to lose you."

"Sasuke-"

"I can't risk it, Sakura. You gave me everything, I-" He shook his head. "I can't lose you." He repeated.

She bit her lip and sighed, not fighting him as he pulled her onto his lap. "I'll follow you, even if you don't want me to."

"Promise me that you won't," he murmured.

She watched him with level eyes, her hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Some people don't know the promises they're making when they make them."

He nodded. "Right. But that's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyways." Sakura pulled away slightly, shocked at his mention of love. Did that mean that he was in love with her? Finally admitting his feelings?

As if he read her thoughts, Sasuke smirked and pressed his hand to her cheek, telling her what he needed to with the look in his eyes. Sakura didn't really need more than that. She was never expecting Sasuke to tell her he loved her, not outright anyways, so what he'd said was close enough and made her heart flutter.

She didn't know how long they held each other and frankly she didn't care. She didn't want him to leave her and chase after an extremely dangerous man. For what? Why did he need to chase him? Out of pride? She didn't want him to always have to protect her.

The first signs of sunlight came far too soon.

"I can't stay." He whispered, pressing his palm against hers and nuzzling her neck. She said one night, and while she didn't want him to leave, one night in his arms had been enough to accept the situation.

"I know." She whispered in return, letting her breath tickle his neck. What would her life be like now? She couldn't tell her friends about the man she loved because in their eyes he was a criminal. He was to everyone except Sai, Naruto, and herself. If he returned... he wouldn't be able to stay in Konoha; the council would never welcome him again. So what was she going to do? She couldn't erase how she felt, and she didn't want to live without him...

That was something to deal with in the future. All she needed to focus on was hoping that he would come back to her in one piece. Alive.

"Sakura..." He leaned his forehead to hers, the tip of his nose at her cheek. She could feel the hot, damp puff of his breath. "Don't ever forget, wherever you go, I'm always with you."

She pressed her lips to his temple and sighed.

"It's your turn." She whispered, smiling when he rose a questioning brow. "Your turn to make me a promise." She ran her fingers along the collar of his shirt.

"Okay."

"Promise that you'll come back to me." She hummed, pausing to meet his eyes. His dark orbs held hers for a moment before closing.

"Sakura-"

"That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyways." She reminded him.

He let out a strangled noise and pulled her against him again. "God, I'm going to miss you."

And she would miss him like no other. She would miss his arms, his kisses, his kind words. Everything about Sasuke would be missed. "Keep your promise."

"Okay."

"I love you." She murmured.

"Sakura..." He whispered, brushing his nose along her cheek. "I-" He hesitated, the words caught in his throat.

"I know."

She waited six years for any sign of him, and then he returned as someone she never expected. She didn't plan to fall in love with him, she didn't plan to care at all. But now that she did love him, and she did care, she was scared. She knew how Sasuke felt about her, or she thought she did. At least this time the promise he made could be held against him. He would have to return to her.

Slowly, he let her slip from his arms, though he kept her hand firmly in his until he sat on the ledge of her window, bending down to give her one final kiss before disappearing into the darkness.

He came to her in the darkness but now he was leaving her with the shades of the sunrise lighting his back. Darkness had been everywhere, from the beginning of their story, but now it was being lit up like a beacon. Sasuke was the sunrise, beautiful and bright and brilliant... and she loved him. She would always love him.

**xx**

_"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  
>They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.<br>They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."_

_-Washington Irving_

**xx**

_Contrary to what the cynics say distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold.  
>It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love.<br>It's for those knowing love when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough._

_-Anonymous_

**xx**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Oh, look he didn't die! I had you fooled, didn't I?<em>  
><strong>

**_Ah, well this story had a good run, and I am so thankful to all of the people who reviews and gave me criticism so I can become a better author! I should be making another story soon. Probably a sequel to this one! MAYBE. MAYBE. I think I should, don't you?_**

**_I don't know, if you want a sequel, tell me by clicking the BIG BLUE BUTTON. THAT ONE, RIGHT BELOW ALL OF THIS BLACK WRITING AND CRAP._**

**_I'm actually really happy that I got this done, and, well. HAPPY. HAPPY HAPPY._**

**_Well, I'm not going to make a review for you, because I hope by this point, since the story is ending and all, that you can leave me a review saying what you thought of the story as a whole, and this chapter on its own as well._**

**_Again, thanks for sticking with the story!_**

**_For the last time (on My Darkness)_**

**_-EM_**


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